Straight (and gay) buds, did you experiment with gay sex in college?

archetypal_mystic

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I know its a cliche, but based on conversations with many post-college and pre-college friends, it seems pretty common. I was a naive pup when I entered college, and clearly this was happening under my nose, but I didnt quite clue in during freshman year. By third year, I gave myself permission and experimented myself.

Just wondering how many of you did this, and how you feel about it today looking back...I experimented with guys who are living straight lives today, not men whom I consider closet cases or secretly bisexual at all...these are straight guys who stepped off the path but are cool with it. It didnt threaten their sexual identity. Must admit, the fooling around did create a lasting bond.
 
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223790

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I had a couple of "almost" moments that in retrospect, I wish had gone further to satisfy that curiosity I have always had. I was worried that it would destroy my friendship with these guys who I assumed were going to be lifelong friends. The funny thing is that I'm not even friends with these guys anymore. Also, back in my university days, exploring your sexuality wasn't as open minded and accepted as it is today. Things have gotten much better for the younger generation today to explore all facets of their sexuality compared to when I was in university. Even admitting that you were remotely attracted to guys would have been a social death sentence, especially if you were in a fraternity like I was (which are intensely homophobic institutions contrary to popular opinion). I saw this happen to one of my fraternity brothers who had the guts to come out while still in school. Several other guys I knew in my fraternity came out long after they finished university.
 
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B_verilux

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LOL. There was a fraternity at my college. I considered joining it. Then it occurred to me: too homosexual for me. LOL. That's probably why they are homophobic institutions: because they're so homosexual.
 
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twoton

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Never crossed my mind and no regrets!

None here either.

I think any guy who experimented among my friends would've been insane to risk the homophobic devastation that would follow.

Although there was the roommate who would "act" gay by climbing into bed with other guys and attempt to feel them up. He did it as a joke. Over and over again. He's also the one who flashed his erection at me, and drew pictures of me giving him bjs. Not a bad sketch artist, but not at all anything I would have done under any circumstances.
 
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LOL. There was a fraternity at my college. I considered joining it. Then it occurred to me: too homosexual for me. LOL. That's probably why they are homophobic institutions: because they're so homosexual.

:confused: I don't think that 5 guys out of 150 coming out would qualify a fraternity to be a "homosexual institution". It's just the law of averages. If anything, fraternities are hyper masculine institutions. A vast majority of the guys were strictly heterosexual, are married to women (including me) and have kids today. The guy who did come out when he was in school was unfortunately chased out of the fraternity by a handful of close minded red necked brothers. He chose the absolute worst guys in the fraternity to confide in. They of course blabbed it to the rest of the guys. It really wasn't a surprise that he was gay because he was never insterested in picking up women. The sorority girls loved to hang around with him because he was the only active brother not trying to get into their pants. If he had come out to more open minded brothers such as myself, he would have received support rather than ridicule. Being in a fraternity made me realize very quickly that I wasn't gay. Guys really are assholes. I could never connect emotionally with a guy the way I do with women. Being an open minded person, it was for me more of a curiosity than anything else. How can you say you don't like something that you have never tried? That is the very definition of being close minded.
 
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I think any guy who experimented among my friends would've been insane to risk the homophobic devastation that would follow.

I agree. After seeing what happened to my fraternity brother, it's no wonder to me that other guys kept it to themselves until long after graduation. For many guys like me, their fraternity was their entire social circle and family when they were in school. As I mentioned in my OP in this thread, it was a different time back then. Being gay was considered the worst thing a person could be. Gay bashing was not uncommon, and you could be literally taking your life into your hands by comming out. The ridicule was merciless, and then there was the shunning by your peers (and family for some).
 
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interestedchap

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Ahh man..this was gonna be a mighty fine thread before this fraternity argument came up.

Im pretty eager to hear some good stories as I've just started college and am eager to hear what others got/getting up to.

So to any posting here, please lets keep the labels, judging and opinions aside as the OP intended. Ok?
 

archetypal_mystic

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In the first term of my first year of college (EVERYONE WAS OVER 18) I got placed in a townhouse type of dorm with five other really cool guys. My roomate was a super hot latino, but we never did anything.

There was this really beefy blonde guy Hugh who was in a single room. He was the typical jock...had a hot little girlfriend who would visit some weekends...the whole deal. Well about midway through the term I noticed on a few mornings this guy Mark ,who lived in another house, leaving Hugh's room early mornings before the house was up an at it with breakfast and showers etc. Mark was clearly gay. Pretty sure Hugh and Mark were getting it on. Nobody ever said anything, nobody really cared actually. Hugh was the sweetest guy. Gentle giant type of dude. I often wonder what became of him, and if he was just experimenting or turned out gay.
 

MajorBob

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Had no idea itwent on as anieve freshman.was terribly green still avirgin! an expert at j/o..knew Iwaswell endowed from coments in theshower some guy offered to give me some head since I was so big, It went over my head! Hadno idea what he meant!
 
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B_verilux

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I kind of meant the original comment (that they are homosexual institutions) in an ironic way. I'm not suggesting that all male members of straight frats are secretly having sex with one another behind the scenes.

What I meant was something like.... Frats are homosocial institutions. All male. And they seem to have deep bonds with one another, often emotional bonds. To a homophobic mindset, being in an all-male group where the males have deep emotional bonds seems dangerously close to, well, being "gay." And I think this leads to the need to constantly "prove" one's heterosexuality and virility.

Maybe what I really mean is: I think the homophobia in frats is obnoxious, and I decided I could never join one because it's just plain silly to have to constantly prove oneself. They seem a bit paranoid; but that's what a "phobia" is about -- paranoia.

Maybe what I'm saying is I couldn't put up with the paranoia of it all.

:confused: I don't think that 5 guys out of 150 coming out would qualify a fraternity to be a "homosexual institution". It's just the law of averages. If anything, fraternities are hyper masculine institutions. A vast majority of the guys were strictly heterosexual, are married to women (including me) and have kids today. The guy who did come out when he was in school was unfortunately chased out of the fraternity by a handful of close minded red necked brothers. He chose the absolute worst guys in the fraternity to confide in. They of course blabbed it to the rest of the guys. It really wasn't a surprise that he was gay because he was never insterested in picking up women. The sorority girls loved to hang around with him because he was the only active brother not trying to get into their pants. If he had come out to more open minded brothers such as myself, he would have received support rather than ridicule. Being in a fraternity made me realize very quickly that I wasn't gay. Guys really are assholes. I could never connect emotionally with a guy the way I do with women. Being an open minded person, it was for me more of a curiosity than anything else. How can you say you don't like something that you have never tried? That is the very definition of being close minded.
 

AdamTaylor

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Yeah, I experimented some. Never any assfucking or anything like that. Just mainly jacking off with each other and the occasional oral. I was never really attracted to most of the guys I was around so it didn't happen often. I'm predominately straight and went on to get married (no kid yet), but I still do mildly play around when the opportunity arises.
 

HJ1958

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I credit those college days with the discovery of my male sexuality as it stands today. While I live and enjoy a mostly straight life now, as I did then, I had opportunities with several of my college buddies. Mainly JO and trading BJ's, never any anal action. I still enjoy that same type of lifestyle today. My biggest worries in my college days was being "marked" as gay, if I ever got caught. Thought it would devastate my career and social standings. I have since learned that was a bunch of bullshit. I was discreet, as were my cohorts, and nothing ever got revealed. Some of those buddies I had my M2M encounters with are still some of my closest buddies to this day. It had a bonding effect on us and we still recollect some of our encounters to this day.
 

london_bi

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Anyway... yeah.

My first experience was in the shower in my dorm - i was drunk, so was he and he popped in the stall with me and it was the best head I'd had until then. We kept hooking up on the sly after that.
 

B_verilux

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Anyway, that was the only point I was making: the strong bonds guys in frats form with one another are likely the cause of the homophobia in frats. I don't think females can understand how, well, "dangerous" male friendships can be in adulthood, because friendship itself requires an intimacy that males aren't supposed to have with one another (at least in this society).


I will say, and I am not trying to be confrontational in any way, fraternities are a lot different from a male's perspective, and more specifically, a male member's perspective. The events and conversations that transpire when the guys in a frat are alone, just them, are what create such a strong bond. They act much different in a public environment when more than just their brothers are in on the conversations and are part of the events taking place. Just my opinion though.
 
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