Meh, or maybe you're just a tad sensitive. I call my gay friends fags, and my friends call me a fag, all in good fun. I even use it occasionally with my boytoy in a very flirty way. I just know people can be as sensitive as you are, and that is why I pointed out that it wasn't meant to be offensive. Not everyone finds the same things offensive, get over it.
Using "fag" in fun is fine, using "fag" in a perjorative way is not fine. "...waiting around like a fag" falls into the latter category the way I read it...It's subtle.
That aside, I love this thread. Long may it thrive...
Ali, to attract a partner, gay, straight or anywhere in between, you need to have an attractive personality...stop worrying about the players, of any ethnicity, and start concentrating on what makes you a desirable target for women. There are plenty of articles on the net - by women - detailing what they want/find attractive in a man.
Meh, or maybe you're just a tad sensitive. I call my gay friends fags, and my friends call me a fag, all in good fun. I even use it occasionally with my boytoy in a very flirty way. I just know people can be as sensitive as you are, and that is why I pointed out that it wasn't meant to be offensive. Not everyone finds the same things offensive, get over it.
I'm hardly that sensitive, and I'm not personally offended in the least. I'm just calling attention to your faux pas. Using words like "fag", "n*gger", etc. in the right context, i.e. within your own group where people understand the context, is fine. I do it myself. In fact, I've done it here where my intent was clearly ironic to any marginally intelligent reader. But one needs to be very careful and clear not only with the intent, but also understanding how it might be received or misconstrued.
Using words like that in a pejorative way in front of a wider audience is not okay. For one reason, it sends a signal to people who don't understand the distinctions that using those words in any context is acceptable -- "Gay people use the word 'fag', black people use the word 'n*gger', why can't I?" Just because you're gay does not give you license to use homophobic slurs irresponsibly. Do you not understand the difference?
Again, I reiterate, if you have to qualify it by saying: "I don't mean that in an offensive way, but I believe that wording gets my message across best"there's a very good chance you're using it in an offensive way.
Using "fag" in fun is fine, using "fag" in a perjorative way is not fine. "...waiting around like a fag" falls into the latter category the way I read it....
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