I have never been with another man but would really like to give it a try.
Hello, have you had that experience finally? do you want to tell us about that?
I live in London, I've seen a big part of the London gay scene, and other gay scenes abroad.
If you come from abroad, the gay scene can me amazing as long as it's a novelty, clubbing and gay venues and all that stuff.
If you want to chat about that with me, private message me.
Soho is mainly a queeny and camp area, Vauxhall is Soho new concurrent, more testosterone "hunky" men (mind, in London the concept of being hunk is unrelated to the concept of Body Mass Index) and rather drug oriented, the biggest club there has raided by police not long ago for that reason, and it's even getting more mainstream since that time.
I've been told there's another gay scene in East London that should be drug-free and not queeny, where you can meet shy English lads, but haven't tried it yet.
I don't fit exactly in either of them, if I have to pop into the scene for a while, I prefer the glamorous and glittery Soho because I don't do drugs hence I don't have fun if I'm the only one not taking drugs, and as a "sober" I can't enjoy the music crafted for that kind of audience.
In my opinion if you're not out the scene could be really shocking, you should have progressive approach.
Being open minded won't help you: you will always find yourself in the wrong place with the wrong people wanting things from you.
It seems that more gay guys go to straight clubs than before.
If you hang out alone and you're both cute and young, prepare yourself to be literally hunted, basically you won't be hunted by cute and hot guys.
Unless you like having sex in a park in the pitch dark with someone you don't want to see (and it could really be ANYONE you wouldn't fancy in the daylight), I don't suggest going to a cruising park; pickpockets are another good reason, although sometimes police patrol some cruising area, in order to protect men having public sex (if someone read this from abroad: I'm not kidding).
STDs are carried by people: one place is not less STDs free than another, hooking up off internet is not more or less safe than cruising in a park, in a sauna, or bringing home someone pulled in a club after alcohol and drugs and having sex without even a shower first (oh well perhaps the latter is the most dangerous because you could pull and bring home a psychopath or a criminal).
I suggest you NOT TO DO occasional bareback sex in London.
In London 1 gay man out of 10 is hiv+, and of all the positive guys, nearly half of them are not aware of their status, and the hiv+ infection rate is still on the rise. (
10% of London's gay men have HIV- from Pink News- all the latest gay news from the gay community - Pink News )
Bareback sex is the best, efficient and most popular way to pass on or catch up the virus; oral sex getting cum in your mouth is still risky but far less, oral sex without getting cum in the mouth is the less risky thing you can do without a condom; you can go to your local GUM clinic for an anonymous and free counseling (they don't have any qualm to deal with bisexual men), they will also offer you a complete check up and if you wish they will give you the free vaccination against hep A and hep B, at this point you should be ready for a lot of fun with a reasonable protection.
In the case you have an anal intercourse and the condom splits up or slips, or if you receive sperm in your eyes or mouth, and the guy is hiv+, you can apply at an A&E or a GUM clinic for the PEP (Post Exposure Prophylaxis) in order to have a chance to stop the infection, as soon as possible and not later than three days (it's a very tough treatment, not a "morning after" pill).
PEP microsite - Welcome to CHAPSonline
HIV is a life threatening disease so consider that anyone you're having sex with is hiv+ even if he says to be negative, even if the test result IS negative, because in this case the virus will show up after 3 or even 6 months.
I don't find the original article but I think there's also an epidemic of gonorrhea and chlamydia, if treated on time (just with antibiotics simple as that) there's nothing to worry about, especially for a man (women have get complications).
For your health and in order not to infect your girlfriend and your partners, I suggest you to have free anonymous check ups on a regular basis at a GUM clinic because some STD infection could bring no symptoms.
Drugs use help passing on/catching up STDs for several reasons, i.e. Viagra (or other drugs) inhibits anti-hiv drugs making hiv+ guys more infectious, other drugs (i.e. popper is stronger enough) lower your immune system making you more vulnerable, and under the effect of alcohol or drugs you could lost the control of what you're doing (did he put the condom before he fucked me?)
I really hope I haven't scared you putting some emphasis but the safest you play the longer you'll play (unless you want to burn everything very quickly, this is up to you), or the more time you have to find Mr.Right (unless you don't care).
Although you can hook up anytime anywhere, I don't recommend gaydar at all, especially the london chat rooms, it's easy to verify that the more common public message exchanged in the london room is about bareback and chemmed fuck at the same time.
Gaydar good times are gone since very long time, it was good something like... 4 or 5 years ago, anybody its own and de gustibus et coloribus non est disputandum, but hardly can I find nice people on there, don't let me go about commenting the gaydar user base, and it's gone really really quiet, I've also deleted my profile after 2+ years with few or zero results and I'm not the only one!!!
Alternative and basically FREE sites are: gayromeo.com dudesnude.com manhunt.net, there are many more I won't listen on here.
If you're looking for fitties the best site to look at is definitely fitlads.net, since you're looking for big cocks you should know each profile can state the cock length of the owner LOL!!!
The London gay sauna scene is very complicated, mainly because gay guys use to pull in clubs or somewhere else (if you know where, tell me).
It also seems that in the last year and a half the gay scene is going down hill too.
There's also a lot of stigma about saunas, they're considered dirty, unsafe, STDs ridden, morally and ethically wrong, dodgy, full of pervs, I agree only on the pervs thing.
I don't agree with someone who said above that "there's no pressure to have sex", I have a lot of experience in saunas in the continent, and I have some experience (until I gave up) in London, and there is pressure to have sex, it's overwhelming.
Nobody will assault or rape you, but be prepared to be stalked by persistent cruisers or be ogled at insistently by rude horny people, all people who don't care to read (or ask) or probe if you're interested or not - and for instance they're not twinks, fitties or hunks.
... and be prepared to be lasciviously touched and grabbed sometimes, when nobody can see them doing that, they think "well, we all are here for the same thing" (some thing what? harassing people? wrong!), it's like when you enter a gay sauna, you're worth less respect than when you was in the street, you're worthless.
This is a good guide about sauna cruising:
http://www.fitlads.net/help/mesmen_sauna.pdf
The best way to avoid this is getting in a sauna when it's well busy.
As far as I've seen, and I've also discussed it with several guys, in order to find a busy sauna in London, these criteria have to be met:
1. sauna must be near a train station or even better a club
2. during the weekend; if at the early hours you will catch the clubbers coming from the party
3. 1st or 2nd weekend should be the best because people has got still money to spend
there could be exceptions, i.e. I gamble: 1st weekend of january it could be empty because everybody is hangovering still? lol!
alternatively you'll find saunas busy after big events like Gay Pride.
I can tell you when and where to go in my opinion in order to find a young fit crowd very up to it.
There are many gay sex and cruising bars in London (naked parties turns me really on - at the idea), but after my experience in club and saunas I don't even think to go there unless I'm in company of someone.