Straight Buddy Crush

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Pierced7.5, Feb 9, 2009.

  1. Pierced7.5

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    Ok ok ok... This is not about advice on how to get with a straight buddy. I know this has been hashed over and over. But man, my buddy is really hot to me and he is super super straight. I am not going to make a move and I have no hope at all that he will ever make a move on me. I mean he is as straight as they come. That being said, everytime he comes over it is an instant delight for me. Talking and laughing with him is great. Half of me just think I like him as a buddy but because my little rabbit ears have been messed with I cant seem to make the separation between falling for a guy and just knowing and thinking he is a great friend and buddy. I mean at the end of the day the crush could very well be me liking his company rather than a sexual thing.

    So, I dont remember feeling this way as an adult and I wonder.... If this has happened to you, what is normal time until it passes? Or will it? I am not willing to test the friendship just cause I want to make out with him so I am just anxious for it to pass. So... Will it?
     
  2. justine

    justine Member

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    I totally understand what you are feeling. I also have a married friend whom I cannot figure out at times. He always hugs as in tightly everytime he is leaving my home. I tryed to avoid him at times and he sends me emails about how he needs me and loves me. It seems so unusal for a straight 8 no less former marine to say these things. His wife is so jealous of our friendship he said that after a long talk with her she is accepting our friendship. He loves the women and even has had affairs that his wife found out about and this is why she constanly calls his cell phone or text messages. I do hope and believe there is more than I can understand at this point.
     
  3. Pierced7.5

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    Well he does not hug me or hold me tight. He is very much a gentle hearted guy and I am sure would hug me if I did, but I am not even there nor am I sure I want to be. I like that we are friends and comes around and I just dont want that to end just because of a silly crush. I just am ready for the crush to be over with. Ya know?
     
  4. bear2cuddle

    bear2cuddle New Member

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    I know exactly what you mean. I have been in the same situation. I had a very good friend, we were both married. I know my dick stayed hard the entire time he was around but I never made an effort to test the waters. He moved away to take a job and we finally stopped talking. Now I look back and wish I had at least said something to him. Who knows what might have happened. Either way I lost contact with him anyway. Maybe just talk to him sometime and ask him if he has ever had any attraction to men and that sometime you think you have had and see what he says and go from there. If he is a true friend he should accept you for what you are. Good luck Oh, I forgot to mention, after looking at you pics, if the man has even 1 percent gay in him he will jump you in a second. You are very hot.
     
    #4 bear2cuddle, Feb 9, 2009
    Last edited: Feb 9, 2009
  5. yngjock20

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    Man, I have the same problem. You and I aren't the only ones who suffer from lack of discernment when it comes to a "straight crush."

    Even straight guys have difficulty figuring out when a girl likes them truly or just as a friend.

    I can't even say that I've figured out how to deal with it completely, but I do know that the severity of the angst can and will pass with time. I've written about my straight crush in my blog (feel free to read it if you wish) and having to let go wasn't easy at all. Even with zero glimmer of hope of being in a relationship with him, all of those wanting feelings were still there.

    If you decide that you don't want to suffer anymore, you might have to distance yourself from him. The few interactions you have with him can make it easier for you to grasp the situation.

    Another thing you can do, although it's kind of bad, emotionally, is focus on the negative. I know it sounds bad but it does help to knock that person off of the pedastal you've put them on.

    I only suggest that as a last resort, though.
     
  6. Pierced7.5

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    Crazy part is that I do NOT want him out of my life. He is a wonderful and genuine person. The kind of person that is hard to find in any gender or preference and well, good people if you find them, should be cherished. Ugh.. I know that sounds so corny but that is why I say that I will not risk it. He is just a good person.

    BTW Bear, thanks for the compliment. I wish he saw me that way. :)
     
  7. uncutblond34

    uncutblond34 Member

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    First of all, I must tell you..... you are one HANDSOME man ! Wanna be MY friend ?? LOL Okay, I got that out of the way now...LOL ! I have had a similar situation.... I had a friend. that, when we first met, I didn't think we'd have anyting in common. Well, the more we talked, we found out we both LOVE Ella Fitzgerald, good bourbon, we both smoked, we both loved golf, etc, etc. We really enjoyed each others company. He looked alot like JFK, Jr., only better. He was gorgeous, and chronically straight. I found him very attractive, but valued our friendship more than to ruin it by making a move. A couple years after we met, we were out having a drink and just "hanging out" and relaxing.. ( he was a lawyer and I was in a sales job ) he just out of the blue asked me " Are you attracted to me at all ?" I was obviously caught by surprise, and I said " well, I find you very attractive, BUT....... I enjoy your friendship too much to try and ruin it. Besides, you're straight... but while we're being brutally frank here, do you find ME attractive ?" He said "yes, I do... but like you, not enough to ruin a friendship." I told him that if he got to a place where he was ready to ruin a friendship, he'd know where to find me...LOL Well, to date, I haven't heard from him.... I wish I'd have made a move... I'd have eaten him from head to toe !!
     
  8. Pierced7.5

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  9. bear2cuddle

    bear2cuddle New Member

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    Funny thing is he may look at you as being hot but may be afraid to say anything to you thinking that you may not like him if he comes on to you. If it ever does happen you and he will have to be careful, you might hurt each other when all the desire comes out at one time. I hope for you it will. You and he would even be closer then.
     
  10. D_Bartasiah Candlestick

    D_Bartasiah Candlestick Account Disabled

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    I had a similar crush on my straight buddy when I was in my late teens. I realised he was totally straight but there were times when we would end up wrestling in the back yard which allowed some physical contact with him but at the end of the day his friendship was far more important that my quest to get his BIG dick in my mouth.

    Just accept the fact he is straight and enjoys the company of a very sexy bi-guy!
     
  11. Pierced7.5

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    I dont know if he thinks I am hot. I know that we do go to the gym together and on the rare ocasion he will tell me something like "ill be yolked like you" or some comment about modeling. We talk shit about each other all the time so it is all in good fun. But like mancunian said, i am just glad to be his bud. That is worth more to me than his dick. Now if getting over the crush were that easy and clear cut. Im not a teen anymore, and I should be able to just get over it.
     
  12. EL_Duderino

    EL_Duderino New Member

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    from a straight guys POV..... I have had a couple of guys who had crushes on me and im a real friendly nice guy and i think a lot of gay/bi men get the wrong idea because of it. for me when a women goes out of her way to be friendly with me i see it as her being interested in me and im almost always right. but i think you guys have it a little tougher since it's a lot easier for a straight guy to look at another guy as just a friend.
     
  13. Pierced7.5

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    That is exactly my problem. I am the guy that all guys feel comfortable around. I may be into guys but I make all my friends feel special and important. I am not the kind that blows them off and is only around for when I NEED attention. So the problem with that is that all guys, no matter what kind of guy they are, feel super close to me and most guys will put their guard down and be super friendly, not to mention even gentle with me. I tend to not get crushes like that. Like i said it has been ages since i did feel this way, but this guy just did it for me. Its annoying to be honest.
     
  14. invisibleman

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    Do you ever have any gay buddy crushes? Why do you feel that straight guys are so much better than gay men?



     
  15. red7.5

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    I think I forgot to mention he thinks I am straight too. So, he definately is not waiting for my move. Its crazy cause the more I think about it the more I hope he makes a move. Lol. Like this weekend he was over my place till early in the morning. We were online looking up stupid Shtuff, and I could feel his breath on me. I had to get up and go to the couch. It was too much to bear.[/quote]

    I had a huge crush on a straight friend. He was and is a great guy, handsome as hell, funny, smart, rebellious and confident. We became roommates just after he had a nasty break-up with a live-in girlfriend. He decided to take a break from romantic relationships and we spent more and more time together and our friendship, and my crush, grew geometrically. He thought I was straight and I let him believe it. For about a year. I decided to come out to him before he heard it himself (another story). He freaked out at first, literally walked away from me and left the house. In the end, our friendship was strong enough to survive his feelings of betrayal (not homophobia). For about a week I was so terrified of losing him as a friend that the crush became meaningless to me. Years later we are still very close.

    (not sure why the OP's quote didn't format properly)
     
    #15 red7.5, Feb 9, 2009
    Last edited: Feb 9, 2009
  16. B_Hung Jon

    B_Hung Jon New Member

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    I have had friendships like this before and I feel that the infatuation or crush part of it changes over time. But if you two truly love and care about one another then that most likely won't change. I think true deep friendship between two people whatever their gender is an amazing gift and you both should cherish each other. I know it's harder with a guy because guys aren't that great at figuring out what they're feeling. It takes us longer to appreciate how others may feel about us. I think it might be cool for you to express your feelings for him but not in a sexual way. If he's a true friend, he'll most likely be super happy that you feel close to him, and value you even more. Best to you both. :smile:
     
  17. TripHammer

    TripHammer Active Member

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    how long have you known this guy? i think you might owe it to him, in the name of honesty between true friends, to tell him about your sexuality. not that you're gay, per se, but that you're into guys. say it like that and see what he says. you might be surprised by the answer...
     
  18. killerb

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    I can't give you a timeframe, but I can tell you that if you can't separate those feelings of friendship and those feelings of lust, you're gonna have to create some distance between you.
     
  19. IT1631

    IT1631 New Member

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    I'm Bi so this happens to me it seems like on a regular basis. Good News is 1st that its part of human nature to crush on people and it does eventually go away 2nd is sometimes something does happen and it may catch you by surprise. I had a friend that I was crushing on bad from the very beginning. In fact I think we became friends because I went out of my way to get close to him. Everytime we hung out I would fantasize about how awesome sex would be with him. Eventually the fantasizing went away. I still thought he was attractive but didn't obsess about it. One day out of the blue he was talking to me about how he was scaring his new girlfriend because she thought his cock was too big. Being the person I am I called his bluff and he pulled it out. WOW it was HUGE. Then he told me to show him mine since he showed me his. I pulled mine out and hee grabbed it and it progressed from there.

    It caught me completely off guard and this happened after us being friends for over 2 yrs so deep down your friend may feel the same way you do, but if its met to play out it will.
     
  20. D_Askham Gooseneck

    D_Askham Gooseneck Account Disabled

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    listen, i understand. my best bud is like my brother. the only problem is i lust after him big time. i hate it too, because it makes me feel bad. i don't ever want to lose him as a friend, so i'm kinda screwed.
     
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