Straight but in love with someone of the same sex?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Charlie14, Apr 29, 2007.

  1. Charlie14

    Charlie14 Member

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    I want to ask this.. but I kind of feel like an idiot asking..

    Can you be straight and fall for someone of the same sex.. or does that automatically make you bi.. even if you don't really feel physically attracted to the person.. I don't lust for this persons body.. but there is a physical kind of attraction.. but the other thing about this is the person is a celebrity.. so that complicates things.. is it just somekind of man-crush? I feel like I relate to this person more so than anyone I have ever encountered..

    Anyway.. i don't really know what I'm talking about here haha.. this is confusing.. anyone have any thoughts or input on this..
     
  2. jeff black

    jeff black <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    I'd like more information, please.

    Who is this celebrity you speak of? It will actually make a difference, because there are some celebrities who ooze sex appeal, and people (regardless of their sexuality) want to meet and be with them.
     
  3. Charlie14

    Charlie14 Member

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  4. Bossman1

    Bossman1 New Member

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    If you are falling for a person of the same sex it makes you "GAY..., straight people dont fall for the same people of the same sex.I think it is too easy for a gay person to call themselves Bi when they dont want to admit to themselves that they are gay.
     
  5. Charlie14

    Charlie14 Member

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    But I am more attracted to women.. I have never felt attracted to a man before this.. and i am a still horny as hell towards women.. it's just that there's somekind of weird connection with this person. I've never encountered anything like it.

    Another weird thing is that I showed a video of this person to a close friend of mine and they said that in a weird way we looked the same like we were related or something.. so then it makes me wonder if it's somekind of narcissistic thing.. but I also heard homosexuality theorized to be related to narcissism but I don't know if there is any truth to that.
     
  6. basque9

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    Charlie, love is simply a four letter word , but its meaning is amplified to incredible proportions and its forms are manifold! Accept the fact that for now you can show love for both men and women. In time the part of your love devoted to men might increase and that to women could decline. It has happened to numerous straight men and in time many of us realize that our true nature has shifted to gay. In all probability, if it happens to you, it will be out of your control...it will just happen. Try to stay balanced and not be overwhelmed by the prospect!
     
  7. Chuck64

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    Considering he's married, famous, and straight (I'm assuming), I suggest you leave that one alone. It's got to be more drama than you're willing to go through.

    Now back to your real question: Are you straight or bi? Does it really matter? I believe most of us allow our sexual orientation to influence our identity too much. Just be yourself.

    I guess I should practice what I preach - but this thread is about you, not me.
     
  8. Letmeworshipit

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    I have to agree. The inevitable journey of sexual discovery can take quite some time and go through a myriad of unexpected twists and turns. No offense, dude, but I would seriously consider doing some experimenting sexually just to say that you've tried everything. I did...everything I could...but I arrived at the "gay" moniker, finally. You may not arrive there, but my feeling is that we're all sexual human beings and should try anything and everything (within reason...I mean I'm not into sheep and dead people) that you've even thought about. Why not? Having sex doesn't "make" you anything...it doesn't define you...it just gets you off. Settle for whatever turns you on the most...whatever and whomever that may be. Good luck.
     
  9. Charlie14

    Charlie14 Member

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    Thanks for the input Donkeyboy... it's definitely a strange sitituation for me.. I also just recently broke up so maybe that has something to do with it.. maybe I'm just going through a weird phase.
     
  10. Principessa

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    That's a little harsh! Yes, that happens sometimes, but not all the time. Some people are genuinely attracted to both sexes. This makes them bi-sexual.

    As usual Mr. Black is correct. So you actually know Julian Casablancas in a social or professional way. Having Googled his image I gotta say I don't get it. He's not my type but that's not the point. He's married . . . to a woman. Unless he has given you a major indicator like: french kissing you, grabbing your package, or something of that nature it sounds to me like you have a generic star struck crush thing going here.
     
  11. Charlie14

    Charlie14 Member

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    There are rumors that he is gay.. and honestly his current relationship seems weird.. like she's a "beard". He also hasn't dated a bunch of hot women since becoming famous.. which I find strange for some reason. haha But maybe he's just special and not into superficial stuff?..

    And the even weirder part is that I do have a mutual friend with him.. that just happened recently.. I feel like our stars are crossed or something.. but don't get the wrong idea.. it's not like I'm obsessed with this person or with meeting them. I don't really take it seriously.. it's just more of a feeling and an attraction.. not a goal of somekind..
     
  12. Charlie14

    Charlie14 Member

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    NJQT, I don't think it's a star struck kind of thing(that's just not me).. it could just be somekind of crush though.. I don't know... maybe it's just that I relate too him a lot for some reason. It's a mystery..
     
  13. fortiesfun

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    I don't think this is a stupid question. Sexual orientation is a pretty complicated question for many men, as I tried to get at in this thread. While I agree with previous posters that this does not sound like a real relationship possibility, I think in some ways it is irrelevant to the question you are asking. It is possible to feel desire that is in conflict with both your sexual identity and your behavior. It can be very confusing, but that does not mean it is not real. Nothing wrong with it, either.

    If you wanted me to put down money, I'd bet that it is the first signs of a degree of bisexuality in you, but it is too early to tell. One way to find out is to stay alert to additional same sex crushes. If you find other men you relate to this strongly, then the odds are that you are bisexual. (I do not agree with the poster who insists that you are "gay," as if bisexuality does not exist. I think that is a case of highly biased opinion that flies in the face about all the research out there.) If you do not have these feelings about other men again, odds are that it was a case of celebrity identification, not lust...

    Best to you. Glad to talk to you more about bisexuality by PM if it becomes appropriate.
     
  14. Hryblkone

    Hryblkone New Member

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    Charlie14 boy crushes happen often and it's completely fine unless you act upon it. 'Nuff said.
     
  15. Pene_Negro_Grande

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    In my opinion if a "straight guy" falls for someone of the same sex but has a strong attraction for women - it makes you more "bi" than "gay"...I actually dig guys sometimes but more as a sexual than emotional feeling...But I feel more physical sexual and emotional tie to women...I personally couldn't see or feel like really dating a guy but definitely w/women...And I am not into the gay lifestyle at all...
     
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