Straight (female) roomate is hitting on my boyfriend...

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by chibidusk, Feb 4, 2011.

  1. chibidusk

    chibidusk Member

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    I've been dating my boyfriend for 2 years, and we've moved in with his older brother, his girlfriend, and his younger sister.

    I am a very quiet guy, and my boyfriend is very talkative. When we first arrived, he instantly became close with his brother's girlfriend, Anna. He is a very talkative guy, and willing to try anything. He is very personable, so in most situations, I fall into the background.

    This is the same boyfriend with the large penis I talked about in my other threads; well, it was hinted that his brother shares the same gift, by Anna. My boyfriend chimes in "Must be a family thing." Letting Anna know he is well-endowed too, if indirect.

    Since then, I've noticed her glances towards his private area if he's wearing anything like pajamas... or tight jeans. He says she isn't doing it, but I know what I'm seeing.

    What do I do? I don't think my boyfriend is going to cheat on me with Anna (even if he recently admitting to experimenting with girls when he was younger, after denying it for the first year...) but it's uncomfortable for me to witness this.

    I've started to grow an animosity towards Anna for this...

    It's weird because she's dating his older brother... I can't confront her, because I am living with her... and I can't discuss it with him (I tried) because he will likelt bring it up to her.

    Any suggestions???
     
  2. jerryhall

    jerryhall New Member

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    I think it's normal to feel uncomfortable about this.

    Tell him that you know you are probably overreacting but it is bothering you, then try to have a discussion where you get the reassurance you need so you can relax about it. Communicating is the most important and difficult part of a relationship.
     
  3. helgaleena

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    You Can talk about it, and you must. If your bf tells this relative stranger everything in your private relationship, he's just a very bad one at keeping private information. Either you like this about him or you do not. But it is his nature. Tell him you don't like this woman looking at his crotch all the time, and see how he handles that. It will tell you even more about his nature.

    Remember, you can't change him, but you can delineate what you will tolerate from him. It sounds like you are jealous of anyone who admires him, whether they are his type or not. You will have to work on this.
     
  4. EmJay

    EmJay New Member

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    You are too insecure.. In my belief its your own insecurity getting to you and i'd rather focus on getting rid of that instead of focusing on whoever stares at your guys package..

    Some women (including myself) are just naturally drawn to the bulge area..and why not. ok staring is rude...so if she does that..just tell her.. But being upset because she takes peeks and enjoying it.?????why?

    There are going to be lots of women attracted to your boyfriend and you are not going to be there all the time..

    I can remember a time..when i spend Christmas at my ex boyfriends parent's house in .. his brother and wife were there too. So one morning I sat at the kitchen table..and looked at his brother and his dad. So later on..I asked my ex a bit shy..'honey..ehm..I have a feeling your Dad and brother are pretty big too'.. he looked at me and said ' we are built the same'...made me hot right there..and made the visit alot more enjoyable. Not that I wanted to fuck the dad or the brother or had a fantasy about that (eewww)..its more that I enjoyed being surrounded by these men who looked good and resembled the man I was so hot for.

    So my feelings are that you might be makin' too much out of this. If she doesn't stare or starts grabbing his shit..she can look wherever she pleases.. Deal with the insecurity that you are feeling about your guy first!
     
    #4 EmJay, Feb 5, 2011
    Last edited: Feb 5, 2011
  5. tulsabyla

    tulsabyla Member

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    Helgaleena has good advice...And you maybe insecure, but your boyfriend is disrespecting you by talking behind your back. I can't discuss it with him (I tried) because he will likely bring it up to her. That's true disrespect. Why should'nt/would'nt he put you above her?
    My gut instinct is to either accept him the way he is and not say anything to him or break-up with him because you guys are too incompatible. his personalty type is way too different from yours, and you already hinted that he would be willing to try anything. Sex? drugs? He most likely likes the attention she gives him.
    Break up with this jerk and his loser family. You should have never moved in with his brother. But alas, you wont listen to me, because you love him. Live and learn, and save your self from heartache. I speak from experience, I used to be the quiet guy. you are looking in him to make up your perceived shortcomings. the things you admire in him, his being so free and outgoing will eventually annoy the fuck out of you. Let him go.
    Build up your own self esteem so you don't need to live vicariously through an outgoing person. Opposites don't always attract, they just serve to annoy. find yourself a gentle, kind respectful soul, like yourself.
     
  6. cocktaste

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    The only thing left to do is plug this bitch! lol.

    Nah, but seriously, it doesn't sound as if you're in a good living environment. Can you start looking towards getting your own place?

    If you honestly feel that he could cheat on you, perhaps you aren't with the right person. People on here will tell you that it's you who's insecure, but I don't buy that. Sometimes you can tell when something can or is about to happen.

    Did you ever get this feeling with any past relationships? Did anyone cheat on you before? Just curious.
     
  7. velodromekirk

    velodromekirk New Member

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    Dude...You gotta smack that bitch in the face with your dick and say..
    thats my man...or maybe just get over it?
     
  8. D_Martin van Burden

    D_Martin van Burden Account Disabled

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    I think a peek here and there is fairly innocent. Come on, who wouldn't look a big one? If it goes beyond that, it's your right to step up and say something. You should probably talk with your boyfriend about these issues that are bothering you first and say how her attention on him is making you feel. That's legit. If it still continues, then you can discreetly pull her to the side and say that she should respect your relationship with him. She's got her boyfriend; you've got yours. Let it be.
     
  9. sexplease

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    What is it that you want?
    What is it that you need?
     
  10. D_Champney Cumcannon

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    You probably need to talk to someone about your jealousy issues.
     
  11. CUBE

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    Helloooooo...suck of her boyfriend so she knows not to fuck with you.
     
  12. DQSundae

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    Nothin worse than living with a jealous woman. Don't be that. You're a man, be one! She obviously doesn't have the right equipment to compete with you. Enjoy then fact that you have him and she can't. Plus, women are catty, if she knows it bothers you she'll keep doing it just to get at you.
     
  13. D_Humper E Bogart

    D_Humper E Bogart New Member

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    Excellant comment and well put!
     
  14. Stephenmass

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    There are some gay guys that never have been with a woman in their past, but most gay guys that I know most certainly have, ESPECIALLY as they were growing up because it was expected and societal norms. I am not sure why that would bother you at all. It's NORMAL.

    As far as the rest, let it go. If YOU don't let it become an issue, and your b/f is treating you right, then where is the problem?

    Also, I agree that women (as well as some men) will continue it if they know it bothers you. It's like teasing someone. If you don't get a reaction, you eventually let it go.
     
  15. TheRob

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    frankly you can't stop her from looking, I mean it's LOOKING not touching etc
    anyway my older brothers wife I have caught her taking more then a passing glance at my package as well
    it's kind of, I dunno...crass but what are you going to do
     
  16. chibidusk

    chibidusk Member

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    I know that many men have experimented with women in their pasts. What I was beinging up in that comment, was... he denied it for the larger period of our relationship and then ADMITTED to it only recently. Why would he feel the need to hide something like that in the first place?

    And yeah, I might have jealousy issues... but honestly, I think it's pretty rude to be checking out another person's love interest in front of them. It's not just quick glances, but it's not quite a stare. But you can see the want in her eyes. That's whats bothering me.

    I am very inecure about my boyfriend because it's almost non-stop, and I don't feel like always competing. You work so hard to find someone that's right for you, and you have to keep working to keep him. I've already had two occasions where others have admitted to me, behind my boyfriends back, that they are going to steal him away from me.

    People are jackasses. Thank god he loves me.
     
  17. Stephenmass

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    Exactly.
     
  18. helgaleena

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    Tell him every last thing in this post, and tell him too how threatened you have been feeling by seductive others, not just him. Bet you get some dandy reassurances!
     
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