Straight Friend Advice

Robert474

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I know I know, another thread about a straight guy and a gay guy.

I just wanted to air out a long brewing co fusing relationship I've had with my best friend, I'll try to keep to bullet points.

So we've been very close friend now, going on 12 years I think. We met at work and there was an instant connection with the two of us (he even says that as well) he was the first person I came out to and he said he already knew when he met me. I got gay vibes but I thought I was just maybe being hopeful, but after working together for a bit, a lot of our coworkers thought he was gay and thought we were a thing because of how close we got. He's also always had his girlfriend and he always brings up how he met his girlfriend one day and then me the next.

He's always been a very open guy, very comfortable with, just sex in general, like asking me stuff, talking about attractive men and has always said he's the gayest straight guy I'll meet and has even joked that his gf has made the joke, "oh I'm just waiting for you to come out as gay"


Anyways, skip ahead a couple years now of me always having confusing feelings for him, I also have a partner of 7 years, he knows about my friend and mentions, if my friend ever wants to do something I have the go ahead.


But what I've been struggling with his the weird back and fourth my friend seems to have. Sometimes he seems very curious and kind of really leans into it but then will back track like it's never happened. He's sent me nudes (his ass only) a handful of times, one time we ended up taking about gah reflex and he mentioned he doesn't think he has one. So I joked and said, you should see, and so he said he grabbed his gf vibrator and he could get a lot of it down and I said, where's the proof and then proceeded to send me a video. But whenever I jokingly bring it up again he shoots it down and doesn't want to talk about it.


Recently he came down for a visit (he moved to the other side of the country a couple years ago. And he kept saying things like "I really wonder what it would be like being with you, I couldn't say your my boyfriend...life partners? Or is that just my toxic thinking, thinking I couldn't say that. No but I love my gf, I couldn't" a lot of that and then at the end of our hang I jokingly said "oh no blowjob to end the night?" And he replies "Not yet, I didn't clean my dick and I wouldn't want that to be your first experience with me"


So...I don't know what I'm asking for here lol am I crazy? Just continue with what we do and enjoy the friendship? Am I making things up that aren't there and it's just nice gay/straight guy banter or would it be confusing for you too

Apologizes if this is in the wrong area, I realized some similar stuff are in Ask a straight man
 

CockMySuck

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I know I know, another thread about a straight guy and a gay guy.

I just wanted to air out a long brewing co fusing relationship I've had with my best friend, I'll try to keep to bullet points.

So we've been very close friend now, going on 12 years I think. We met at work and there was an instant connection with the two of us (he even says that as well) he was the first person I came out to and he said he already knew when he met me. I got gay vibes but I thought I was just maybe being hopeful, but after working together for a bit, a lot of our coworkers thought he was gay and thought we were a thing because of how close we got. He's also always had his girlfriend and he always brings up how he met his girlfriend one day and then me the next.

He's always been a very open guy, very comfortable with, just sex in general, like asking me stuff, talking about attractive men and has always said he's the gayest straight guy I'll meet and has even joked that his gf has made the joke, "oh I'm just waiting for you to come out as gay"


Anyways, skip ahead a couple years now of me always having confusing feelings for him, I also have a partner of 7 years, he knows about my friend and mentions, if my friend ever wants to do something I have the go ahead.


But what I've been struggling with his the weird back and fourth my friend seems to have. Sometimes he seems very curious and kind of really leans into it but then will back track like it's never happened. He's sent me nudes (his ass only) a handful of times, one time we ended up taking about gah reflex and he mentioned he doesn't think he has one. So I joked and said, you should see, and so he said he grabbed his gf vibrator and he could get a lot of it down and I said, where's the proof and then proceeded to send me a video. But whenever I jokingly bring it up again he shoots it down and doesn't want to talk about it.


Recently he came down for a visit (he moved to the other side of the country a couple years ago. And he kept saying things like "I really wonder what it would be like being with you, I couldn't say your my boyfriend...life partners? Or is that just my toxic thinking, thinking I couldn't say that. No but I love my gf, I couldn't" a lot of that and then at the end of our hang I jokingly said "oh no blowjob to end the night?" And he replies "Not yet, I didn't clean my dick and I wouldn't want that to be your first experience with me"


So...I don't know what I'm asking for here lol am I crazy? Just continue with what we do and enjoy the friendship? Am I making things up that aren't there and it's just nice gay/straight guy banter or would it be confusing for you too

Apologizes if this is in the wrong area, I realized some similar stuff are in Ask a straight man
I have a friend just like this. At least one. Not only is coming to grips with sexual orientation a barrier for anything happening but, maybe even more, so is him being in a non-open relationship. If he is ever single, then I can imagine something happening, or if he gets over the idea of experimenting while in his relationship, I can see something happening. But these guys can be very frustrating. It's like they're definitely interested but keeping you on the hook until they feel comfortable. I think he definitely is just navigating his feelings for you or guys in general and trying to balance those with the idea that he is straight and in a monogamous relationship.
 

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But 12 years! That's a long time. On one of the cross country visits maybe you should have a few drinks or something else to relax the two of you and just throw it out there and ask would he like to really see what it is like to be with another man intimately. This can be a one time only thing and only go as far as his comfort level is not violated. If he doesn't want to move in that direction then say ok and let it go. But it certainly starts him thinking about the next time he visits!
 

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I have a friend just like this. At least one. Not only is coming to grips with sexual orientation a barrier for anything happening but, maybe even more, so is him being in a non-open relationship. If he is ever single, then I can imagine something happening, or if he gets over the idea of experimenting while in his relationship, I can see something happening. But these guys can be very frustrating. It's like they're definitely interested but keeping you on the hook until they feel comfortable. I think he definitely is just navigating his feelings for you or guys in general and trying to balance those with the idea that he is straight and in a monogamous relationship.
Yea I've always thought that something might've happened if he was single. But yea it's frustrating because he will be really open and then the next day or next while he will go MIA and not talk to me. It was just interesting how open to the possibility he was this last time
 

Robert474

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But 12 years! That's a long time. On one of the cross country visits maybe you should have a few drinks or something else to relax the two of you and just throw it out there and ask would he like to really see what it is like to be with another man intimately. This can be a one time only thing and only go as far as his comfort level is not violated. If he doesn't want to move in that direction then say ok and let it go. But it certainly starts him thinking about the next time he visits!
Everytime he's had a drink he definitely loosens up quite a bit, and the comfort level is definitely important. I mean sure it's always been a fantasy of mine to do something with him or just nude pics lol but I just wanted to make sure I wasn't crazy
 

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I know I know, another thread about a straight guy and a gay guy.

I just wanted to air out a long brewing co fusing relationship I've had with my best friend, I'll try to keep to bullet points.

So we've been very close friend now, going on 12 years I think. We met at work and there was an instant connection with the two of us (he even says that as well) he was the first person I came out to and he said he already knew when he met me. I got gay vibes but I thought I was just maybe being hopeful, but after working together for a bit, a lot of our coworkers thought he was gay and thought we were a thing because of how close we got. He's also always had his girlfriend and he always brings up how he met his girlfriend one day and then me the next.

He's always been a very open guy, very comfortable with, just sex in general, like asking me stuff, talking about attractive men and has always said he's the gayest straight guy I'll meet and has even joked that his gf has made the joke, "oh I'm just waiting for you to come out as gay"


Anyways, skip ahead a couple years now of me always having confusing feelings for him, I also have a partner of 7 years, he knows about my friend and mentions, if my friend ever wants to do something I have the go ahead.


But what I've been struggling with his the weird back and fourth my friend seems to have. Sometimes he seems very curious and kind of really leans into it but then will back track like it's never happened. He's sent me nudes (his ass only) a handful of times, one time we ended up taking about gah reflex and he mentioned he doesn't think he has one. So I joked and said, you should see, and so he said he grabbed his gf vibrator and he could get a lot of it down and I said, where's the proof and then proceeded to send me a video. But whenever I jokingly bring it up again he shoots it down and doesn't want to talk about it.


Recently he came down for a visit (he moved to the other side of the country a couple years ago. And he kept saying things like "I really wonder what it would be like being with you, I couldn't say your my boyfriend...life partners? Or is that just my toxic thinking, thinking I couldn't say that. No but I love my gf, I couldn't" a lot of that and then at the end of our hang I jokingly said "oh no blowjob to end the night?" And he replies "Not yet, I didn't clean my dick and I wouldn't want that to be your first experience with me"


So...I don't know what I'm asking for here lol am I crazy? Just continue with what we do and enjoy the friendship? Am I making things up that aren't there and it's just nice gay/straight guy banter or would it be confusing for you too

Apologizes if this is in the wrong area, I realized some similar stuff are in Ask a straight man
From my experience, and obviously this doesn’t apply to every guy, it sounds like he is a bit curious and definitely attracted to you but he’s not gay. We’re all on the spectrum. I’ve had plenty of straight mates send me nudes when they’re drunk and I’ve had plenty suck my dick. After 12 years you’d think by now he would’ve made or move. I would def suggest that you don’t make a move. If anything go cold on the idea. Throw comments around like, you’re like my ‘straight’ bff. We’ll be grey and old together watching our grand kids jump in the pool. There’s nothing like reminding someone of their own mortality to take a leap in to the unknown. If that doesn’t work then likely he’s an attention seeking flirt. There’s plenty of them around too.
 

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Curious - if you’ve known him for 12 years, then he’s known his girlfriend for 12 years. Maybe my old school persona here but are they married?
 

Robert474

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Curious - if you’ve known him for 12 years, then he’s known his girlfriend for 12 years. Maybe my old school persona here but are they married?
So they had just got married a couple months ago, which I thought would mean this type of stuff would die down, but our most recent hangout was his most "gay" lol
 

Robert474

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From my experience, and obviously this doesn’t apply to every guy, it sounds like he is a bit curious and definitely attracted to you but he’s not gay. We’re all on the spectrum. I’ve had plenty of straight mates send me nudes when they’re drunk and I’ve had plenty suck my dick. After 12 years you’d think by now he would’ve made or move. I would def suggest that you don’t make a move. If anything go cold on the idea. Throw comments around like, you’re like my ‘straight’ bff. We’ll be grey and old together watching our grand kids jump in the pool. There’s nothing like reminding someone of their own mortality to take a leap in to the unknown. If that doesn’t work then likely he’s an attention seeking flirt. There’s plenty of them around too.
A lot of our friendship has been apart for long periods of time, he was bouncing between his two parents, one being quite a few hours away, and then university was far away and then BC, I sometimes wonder if more would've happened if we were consistently closer more
 
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I know I know, another thread about a straight guy and a gay guy.

I just wanted to air out a long brewing co fusing relationship I've had with my best friend, I'll try to keep to bullet points.

So we've been very close friend now, going on 12 years I think. We met at work and there was an instant connection with the two of us (he even says that as well) he was the first person I came out to and he said he already knew when he met me. I got gay vibes but I thought I was just maybe being hopeful, but after working together for a bit, a lot of our coworkers thought he was gay and thought we were a thing because of how close we got. He's also always had his girlfriend and he always brings up how he met his girlfriend one day and then me the next.

He's always been a very open guy, very comfortable with, just sex in general, like asking me stuff, talking about attractive men and has always said he's the gayest straight guy I'll meet and has even joked that his gf has made the joke, "oh I'm just waiting for you to come out as gay"


Anyways, skip ahead a couple years now of me always having confusing feelings for him, I also have a partner of 7 years, he knows about my friend and mentions, if my friend ever wants to do something I have the go ahead.


But what I've been struggling with his the weird back and fourth my friend seems to have. Sometimes he seems very curious and kind of really leans into it but then will back track like it's never happened. He's sent me nudes (his ass only) a handful of times, one time we ended up taking about gah reflex and he mentioned he doesn't think he has one. So I joked and said, you should see, and so he said he grabbed his gf vibrator and he could get a lot of it down and I said, where's the proof and then proceeded to send me a video. But whenever I jokingly bring it up again he shoots it down and doesn't want to talk about it.


Recently he came down for a visit (he moved to the other side of the country a couple years ago. And he kept saying things like "I really wonder what it would be like being with you, I couldn't say your my boyfriend...life partners? Or is that just my toxic thinking, thinking I couldn't say that. No but I love my gf, I couldn't" a lot of that and then at the end of our hang I jokingly said "oh no blowjob to end the night?" And he replies "Not yet, I didn't clean my dick and I wouldn't want that to be your first experience with me"


So...I don't know what I'm asking for here lol am I crazy? Just continue with what we do and enjoy the friendship? Am I making things up that aren't there and it's just nice gay/straight guy banter or would it be confusing for you too

Apologizes if this is in the wrong area, I realized some similar stuff are in Ask a straight man
I've been seeing a man now for over 8 years that frustrates the piss out of me... a beautiful rock climber with a body to die for, hairy, muscular, and ultra masculine. He's identical, except that I early on offered him a massage, and he went for it and got hard. I resisted. The next time I blew him and he loved it, then soon it was he that wanted to be fucked. It turned into a regular thing, but he lives nearly three hours away, and has been one or two times per month since.

In his case, he's admitted he's gay to his parents and sister, but has a closeted desire to be a total whore, restrained by deep fear (1) that he's gay, and (2) that he's attracted to guys twice his age. Twice he flew to other countries to spend a week with a guy.

Bottom line? It's the exact same personality to not admit who and what one wants... to keep them just close enough to not lose them, pulling out all stops if that seems to be imminent, while pretending otherwise to be someone entirely different. The problem is they cannot admit to themselves what they want and need, keeping it always at arm's length, or deeply closeted. After breaking my mentality yet again, he called and said he was buying tickets for us to go to Spain. He wants to explore being with other guys more, but wants me there for security and to hold at night, and our usual incredibly mutually satisfying sex. Go figure.

It's a rough ride, buddy. My advice is that the less attention you give him, the more he'll come after it. The more you go toward him, the further away and the deeper he'll hide from you and others. Enjoy it for what it is, pretend he's straight and that you do not need sex from him. At some point he'll burst out and express his need for you. Emotionally taxing, but in my case worth the sacrifice.
 

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I will say I’ve known straight guys like that..sometimes it just seems like he’s being a tease..

Years ago before all this technology things weren’t done over an app .. sending pics or vids to someone.. you actually had to be in front of each other and talk and hang out.. one guy was just a tease.. he’d show me his ass even bends over spreads his cheeks and shows me his hairy hole .. ️ this is because he knows what gay men do and that rim assholes finger them and if bottom then they screw you..
I been with straight guys sitting back watching porn and jerking odd in front of each other and I’d try not to look at them.. especially when they’d say…. I’m gonna cum.. and you look and see it shooting out of his dick ( their dicks) and you’re thinking what a bunch of jerks .. makes me want to get a few girls here and have them finger their cunts and dare them to touch them.. then they’d see how they were making me feel ..


Then there’s the straight guy that is a curious one .. ☝️… they’d ask wonder what it’s like to get a blowjob from a guy.. or does it really feel good when a guy is rimming your asshole and fingering it..


Wonder what be like fucking a guy in the ass and they ask and talk about this stuff .. to the point it drives you nuts ..

But part of it is the curiousity of it that maybe they are afraid to try..

I did have one straight friend let me suck his cock n balls and rim his ass a while and then shocked when I swallowed his load.. he says his girlfriend or past girlfriends never swallow .. or some of them wouldn’t even suck his dick..

Then go to next thing and that topping my gay ass .. and he’s doing it gently which was feeling pretty good .. and I’d as him if that’s how he fuxks a girlfriend and he’d say yes .. or no that they aren’t fucking yet ..

So ask him how would he like to fuck and he says harder and tougher than this.. and tell him go for it .. and he’s giving my ass hell . He pulls out to cum and I’d tell him shove it back in and fuck until your cumming and leave it there

So there’s all types of straight guys .. had one flop his dick out and got 1/2 inch from my lips with it because I told him I don’t do anything until says I can .. so he’s do that even touch my lips with it saying doesn’t that smell good ..




So if gone all these years and all do is talk about it and he brings up the girlfriend.. in my opinion he wants to do stuff.. but hides behind his woman ‍♀️ to keep from doing it
 

Robert474

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It does seem like it's very much he likes the attention, I think he likes knowing how much I'm attracted to him, makes him feel good. I'll definitely to try and just not give him attention but he's so much better at it, he comes and goes quite a bit. He says he's not a social media person so I hadn't talked to him in 6 months but when I last saw him, he said he turned snapchat notifications back on just for me.

We talk over snap so the conversation disappears, his idea
 

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Dude he enjoys your friendship and the playful banter you have if anything should happen he should make the first move and he will when ready if he is ready. I lost a friendship once because we crossed that line and had sex it was fantastic sex we topped each other and did it all but he could not deal with it after and we never spoke again. you run the risk of losing the fendship if he can't deal with what happend I did
how much do you value your friendship?