Straight friend confusing me

codyrichie69

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So i got a long story lol im confused and need advice or help i don't know.

I met a group of guys about 6 months ago i thought they were cool and since then we chill as a group every week sometimes multiple times a week to drink . I found one of them extremely cute but i was being low-key they never asked about my sexuality either. They think I'm metro...on occasion they spent the night at my house.

One night we were all in my bed (guy i like & his friend and the girl he brought over) waching scary movies ...he was obviously fingering her under the blankets lol .so the guy i found attractive puts his arm over me for a while...no one saw cuz they were laying in front of us and in thier zone. Then he touches my hand under the covers. He then puts my hands over his hard dick thru out the movie i did jerk him and that was it we never brought it up.

Days go by and we are at his house hanging with his friends drinking. One if his friends is flirting wirh
 

codyrichie69

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One of his friends is flirting with me openly as a joke sorta . So the guy im interested in gets pissed and that's when i realised he may like me.

Again days go by he comes over to my house late at night with his friend and his girl. We end up dancing and he kisses my neck . We sit down and hes holding my hand entire night. In the morning he tells me " im starting to feel something for you .you grab my attention etc " i say i feel the same way too... but cuz hes straight i dont do anything else. So after that we never talk about it again a whole month goes by. on occasion he shows intrest still

Forward to two weeks ago he begins talking about girls infront of me to his friends before he wouldent do that. We went out this Sunday to a bar. He invites a girl randomly and i act annoyed and dont talk to him.

After the club at his after-party he pulls me aside and says


"Dont feel sad or any type of way about that. You know you and i have something going on between us and youll always have this special place in my heart"

The girl calls saying she wants to go over he tells her no makes an excuse n the rest ofthe night he is telling his friend he isnt gonna talk to her anymore. .

So im confused i don't understand if hes interested or hes leeding me on.

Hes straight all this is happening down low hes also young turned 21 a few weeks ago


Sorry my story is all over the place lol it's just so long and i left things out to shorten it
 

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I don’t think he‘s as straight as you think. Sounds like he’s covering all the bases here and will go with who ever he ends up with for the evening. If you are okay with this, fine. If not, then I would seriously reconsider how you feel about him. He will probably end up breaking your heart. Sorry to be so blunt, but I’ve seen dozens of threads like this.
 

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Sounds like he may be feeling something he's never felt before, or possibly just never explored before. I would imagine he's had random thoughts about guys already. You have really caught his eye and he was bold enough to do what he did with you. I'd say give him some time; he is definitely not straight. He may be bi and living as straight, a ton of guys do that as did I years ago. Don't get mad, just give him time, if he's struggling internally with this sexuality coming to grips with it could take time.

Be patient, there may be so hot memories to be made in the future.
 
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codyrichie69

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Thanks for replying guys.
I just get mixed signals and im confused like one day we can be hanging out and he's acting like we are friends nothing's happening between us.
Next day when we see eachother i see him getting jelous cuz his friends are sitting next to me giving me too much attention ot me them . he makes faces or will give them or me quick subtle dirty looks when he knows i can see him.also think one of his friends is into me lowkey


So tonight I'm thinking of asking him and his friends to to to a club. Well see how he is acting tonight

Again Thanks for replying it helps me out because im trying to figure out what to do. Or what is going on here i need opinions lol
 

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Just as an observation from what you've said, but you always seem to be with others - have you not considered maybe arranging to see him on his own? You could say you'd like to talk so you can set expectations from the get go, but if it evolves then its up to you if you follow through with it.

Appreciate it could send the signal to him your looking for something to happen, but I personally think you need an environment where you can talk or be around each other without "distraction" of your wider group. Even go somewhere public like a coffee shop if you want to be able to talk but remove the option of him taking it further?

I also agree I don't think he's straight, but he's expressed interest by what has happened so far. Personally I think you need to be on your own with him and see what he has to say, ie what he wants, does he want you or is he just playing the field.

Rooting for you from a far :)
 

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One of his friends is flirting with me openly as a joke sorta . So the guy im interested in gets pissed and that's when i realised he may like me.

Again days go by he comes over to my house late at night with his friend and his girl. We end up dancing and he kisses my neck . We sit down and hes holding my hand entire night. In the morning he tells me " im starting to feel something for you .you grab my attention etc " i say i feel the same way too... but cuz hes straight i dont do anything else. So after that we never talk about it again a whole month goes by. on occasion he shows intrest still

Forward to two weeks ago he begins talking about girls infront of me to his friends before he wouldent do that. We went out this Sunday to a bar. He invites a girl randomly and i act annoyed and dont talk to him.

After the club at his after-party he pulls me aside and says


"Dont feel sad or any type of way about that. You know you and i have something going on between us and youll always have this special place in my heart"

The girl calls saying she wants to go over he tells her no makes an excuse n the rest ofthe night he is telling his friend he isnt gonna talk to her anymore. .

So im confused i don't understand if hes interested or hes leeding me on.

Hes straight all this is happening down low hes also young turned 21 a few weeks ago


Sorry my story is all over the place lol it's just so long and i left things out to shorten it
First, and assuming the veracity of your story, he is not straight. There is no evidence he is straight. Realizing this fact might help resolve some of your conflict or desire for him. Second, he is not ready, or does not want, a relationship with you -- at least not the kind of relationship you want. That makes him unsuitable. Third, you need not be confused. Unless you consider his behavior admirable or virtuous, you should distance yourself from him and look for a more promising relationship. This is what self-respecting people do.
 
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codyrichie69

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Just as an observation from what you've said, but you always seem to be with others - have you not considered maybe arranging to see him on his own? You could say you'd like to talk so you can set expectations from the get go, but if it evolves then its up to you if you follow through with it.

Appreciate it could send the signal to him your looking for something to happen, but I personally think you need an environment where you can talk or be around each other without "distraction" of your wider group. Even go somewhere public like a coffee shop if you want to be able to talk but remove the option of him taking it further?

I also agree I don't think he's straight, but he's expressed interest by what has happened so far. Personally I think you need to be on your own with him and see what he has to say, ie what he wants, does he want you or is he just playing the field.

Rooting for you from a far :)


We usually hang out at his place cause sometimes at mine i can't have people over so his roomates are always around us .


The few times we have been completely solo. Its wierd because he either is into me ... Tries to hold my hand, staring at me flirting etc. OR he treat's me like just one of his friends . I never know what he's gonna act like. I just go along with however he is acting that day.
 

codyrichie69

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First, and assuming the veracity of your story, he is not straight. There is no evidence he is straight. Realizing this fact might help resolve some of your conflict or desire for him. Second, he is not ready, or does not want, a relationship with you -- at least not the kind of relationship you want. That makes him unsuitable. Third, you need not be confused. Unless you consider his behavior admirable or virtuous, you should distance yourself from him and look for a more promising relationship. This is what self-respecting people do.


I said hes straight because he is just a regular guy he talks about females . Tries to get with them etc. I think he's Maybe curious with me .. I'm not sure if hes ever had a friend like me before.

Your advice is very helpful thanks I really should distance and see what he does.
 

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The few times we have been completely solo. Its wierd because he either is into me ... Tries to hold my hand, staring at me flirting etc. OR he treat's me like just one of his friends . I never know what he's gonna act like. I just go along with however he is acting that day.
So this goes back to my suggestion as to trying to talk, seeing what this situation between you is.

But I do to an extent agree with FrankieGuile too, so maybe put some distance between you. However I'd still encourage you to try and have some open communication, even if it is to say to him its a safe space and he doesn't have to have anything figured out or labelled, but to know he can talk to you if he needs. I think that is quite important.
 
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codyrichie69

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So this goes back to my suggestion as to trying to talk, seeing what this situation between you is.

But I do to an extent agree with FrankieGuile too, so maybe put some distance between you. However I'd still encourage you to try and have some open communication, even if it is to say to him its a safe space and he doesn't have to have anything figured out or labelled, but to know he can talk to you if he needs. I think that is quite important.
Thanks that sounds good tbh i was thinking about doing this giving him a little space. i hadent cuz i had hopes. And your also right about telling him he doesn't have to jump into a relationship with me. I just want to know what he wants. Because i don't understand . Thanks for the advice hehe
 

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I said hes straight because he is just a regular guy he talks about females . Tries to get with them etc. I think he's Maybe curious with me .. I'm not sure if hes ever had a friend like me before.

Your advice is very helpful thanks I really should distance and see what he does.
If being a "regular guy" talking about and pursuing females makes one straight, then going to church and praying makes one a nun. In addition, what an insult to imply that gay and bisexual men can't be "regular guys" too!

I'm glad you found my advice helpful. I appreciate it.

Your propensity for open, somewhat naive, interaction is a laudable and charming virtue, but it exposes you to needlessly hurt feelings. Distancing yourself is a good idea but not with an agenda to "see what he does" -- with an agenda to end contact.
 
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