Straight friends think I’m straight

Lee_M

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Hey, so all of my guy friends in my close circle are straight and talk about which women they find hot all the time. However, none of them know that I also like men, and I normally just jump on the bandwagon with the conversations about women, so they think I’m straight too.
I know some friends in the group who have asked me my sexuality, and I’ve been very quiet/shy in response, so I am sure they would figure out I’m not entirely straight (I mean, if I was straight, I would just say it). Those friends I think would be accepting. However, there are some who seem to not be as accepting too (they throw the word “gay” around as a negative), but might change their opinion since I’m their friend and have known me for ages. Since we have talked about our penises, shaving our balls, porn, and sex sometimes, I am unsure if they would think I was just interested in those conversations because I like guys and was being a perv, even though I genuinely was just interested without any agenda. Or if they’d think I’m their friend because I like them. If they thought this, then I’m afraid they’ll end the friendship out of fear of me being attracted to them or me being a creep by masquerading as straight to get closer to them (which I’ve slightly done to get closer as friends, but never for romantic/sexual reasons). I honestly look at them all as just my friends who make me laugh and have my back and who I can confide in. I’d probably only date one or two of them if I had to, but it’s not something I actively think about - just something I would do if I was asked the question “who out of your guy friends would you date?”. I really value their support and friendship throughout the years, but sometimes it feels as if I’m living a lie by not being totally truthful to them.

I haven’t come out to anyone yet, even if some friends may already have guessed, so coming out to these friends would be a big step, especially if I am unsure if they’d be accepting.

Does anyone have advice on what to do or if they’ve had a similar experience?
1) only come out when you're ready And that said, its nobody's business anyways so.....

2) If your friends aren't accepting, are they really friends?

3) If they think you're only their friend because you want to fuck them, tell them to take the tickets of themselves.

4) Tou can replace lost friends, family you cant, so be more concerned about them and their reaction.

5) Good luck, and know whatever happens there are a LOT of open minded and accepting people out there.
 
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Hey, I was in a similar situation with not being out at all up until I was 23. Although, I am gay rather than bisexual, so maybe the situation is not entirely the same, but I thought I would write a response in case you found any part of it helpful, or perhaps in the future some other guys out there who may be struggling, and come cross this thread might find this helpful too.

I wrote two parts here. The top part is my experience of coming out, you can skip this part it if you don't have time to read it, or are not really interested, and the second part contains my suggestions about ‘coming out’, probably the part you are most interested in... (if you do eventually decide to come out that is).
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

My story:

There were also guys in my group of friends at the time I was in the closet who I did not think would be accepting, they also used to throw around the word "gay" a lot. In fact, there was this one guy at school that they used to tease about being gay (he actually wasn't, and is now happily married). I won't say his surname, but they used to yell out "_________ is a poofter", as if they were chanting at a cricket game or something. I know the guy they teased didn't care about it, he used to laugh at them. But the fact they even said things like that made me want to hide my sexuality so much more.

Anyway, I had resolved in my mind that I would never come out or tell anyone how I felt. Ever. Then one night at the pub, one of my friends (a girl) and I were sitting alone and out of the blue, she asked me "what's wrong?" I think she could tell that something had been weighing on my mind because I hadn't really been my cheerful self the last couple of times I'd seen her. I told her "nothing's wrong", but she kept insisting - asking me over and over. I was stubborn, I just wasn't gonna say anything at all, no way. And then out of nowhere, this one random involuntary tear left my eye and ran down my cheek. Well, that was it, lol. She practically lost her shit, and said that we weren't leaving until I told her what the fuck was going on! (and we had gone to the pub in her car, so I was kind of stuck if I didn’t want to walk home haha). Anyway, it took me another 20 minutes just to tell her I was gay (or rather she said it for me), every time I tried to say something to her, I felt like I couldn't speak, like my voice box was broken or something. By this stage she was going through a list of possible things it could be and eventually she arrived at "do you like guys?" and I just kind of nodded. She laughed, gave me this massive hug, and told me no matter what, she will always be my friend and support me. And from that point on she slowly helped me tell my other friends, one at a time (she mostly did the talking for me, but I was completely happy with that).

There was this one friend that I was particularly scared about telling, probably because the thought of losing him as a friend was unimaginable at the time, and out of all my friends, he was the one that I thought would be least accepting (the "straightest" - in the sense of how much he liked talking about girls...). But his reaction to me being gay was the one that surprised me the most. My friend (the girl) told him, and he turned towards me and said "nothing changes", and I guess I must have looked unconvinced or something, cause I was sort of looking down, and not at him. So he grabbed my chin, pushed my head up, looked me dead in the eye (he hadn't really done anything like that before), and said it again more forcefully "nothing changes, you're still my friend". It’s like he really wanted to make sure I understood, I mean he was never going to get emotional about it, and would never be able to relate to my situation, but it was probably his way of telling me that he accepted me, no matter what.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

'Coming Out' Suggestions:

Ultimately the decision to tell others about your sexuality is yours, and you don’t have to tell anyone if you don’t want to, but here are my suggestions if you do decide that you want to tell your friends:

  • Tell just one other person first. Pick the person that you trust the most, and who you think will be the least phased by it. And pick the right time too, don’t tell that person when either of you are really drunk or when there are other people / distractions around. Telling one other person first will be like a good practice run, and give you a bit of confidence to tell others.
  • Don’t tell a large group of your guy friends at once, take people aside at different times, or even tell 2 or 3 at a time, but don’t just tell everyone when you’re in a large group. I say this because some guys may react negatively in a big group, not because they care about it as such, but more from the point of view that they may consciously or subconsciously think that the other guys in the group expect them to react in a negative way, to sort of prove that they are straight and not into guys themselves, if that makes sense.
  • Be prepared that you may lose a couple of your friends, or that they may just slowly become more and more distant with you. It’s unlikely, but possible, and it will be easier for you if you prepare yourself that it could happen. Personally, I would say “Fuck ‘em, they’re not really your friends!”, but it’s easy for me to say that now, and back then I know I would have been really upset about that kind of situation. So try not to take it too personally if it does happen, it’s really their issue (but I know it would be hard).
  • Be prepared that some guys may just assume that you’re into them just because you like guys, even though that we both know this is not the case. (Out of my group of 10-15 school friends, I was only genuinely physically attracted to 1 or 2, so I completely understand you’re concern here). But if any of them get a bit out of hand with it, and you want to put them back in their place, just think of a good comeback to have ready that will shut them down, something with a bit of humour or sarcasm, but nothing too offensive (unless you don’t like that person or really want to shut them down if they're being a dick about it). This is a terrible example, because I can’t think of something witty right now and it kind of has to be something that applies to your mates and what they’re like and their sense of humour, but something like “Yeah sorry mate, you’re not really my type, I’m only attracted to guys who don’t skip leg day…”
  • Be prepared that there will be two main types of reactions 1) Some of your mates will listen to what you say when you tell them, take it on board and never really talk about it ever again. Don’t take this kind of reaction the wrong way, its not that they are uncomfortable or have a problem with it, it’s just that they don’t really know what to say or how to relate, but they do still want to be your friend and, 2) there will be other friends who will talk about it with you, and they will be just generally curious, they might point random guys out and ask you do you think that that guy is hot, or they will be curious about how two guys have sex and what position your prefer and so on, so that can be kind of fun.
  • And here’s the funny thing, it may or may not happen to you, but I’ve found that since I came out some of straight friends opened up to me a lot more one on one to talk about their feelings and other stuff about their relationships. I guess it’s because they feel like they don’t have to be so ‘macho’ around me and can let their guard down a bit, and I guess they assume I am more in touch with my emotions, (which I don’t know if I am or not lol), but I am happy to know that they feel like they can talk to me about anything at all without judgement. So, the upside is some of your friendships may become stronger too.
Anyway, I think you should give your friends more credit, they may actually surprise you! I know some of mine did. I was imagining all kinds of terrible scenarios, but mostly everyone was completely fine with it and couldn't have cared less. At the end of the day, I think it is better to risk losing one or two friends, and living your life how you want to, rather than living a certain way or hiding your true self so as to not make others feel uncomfortable or to not lose any friendships. One last thought, it may be helpful in your own mind to try to figure out are you just attracted to guys sexually, or would you also want to be open to pursuing a relationship with a guy as well? I’m sure it will come up, so you should think about it before hand so you know how you would respond to that kind of question if your friends ask, and it may also affect your decision on whether or not to come out., the former might be easier to do without coming out than the latter.

I hope everything works out for you the way you want it to, and good luck!
Hey mate, thanks for all the effort you put into writing this. I had a read and it was super helpful. It gives me courage :)
 

Luvcutdick

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Hey, so all of my guy friends in my close circle are straight and talk about which women they find hot all the time. However, none of them know that I also like men, and I normally just jump on the bandwagon with the conversations about women, so they think I’m straight too.
I know some friends in the group who have asked me my sexuality, and I’ve been very quiet/shy in response, so I am sure they would figure out I’m not entirely straight (I mean, if I was straight, I would just say it). Those friends I think would be accepting. However, there are some who seem to not be as accepting too (they throw the word “gay” around as a negative), but might change their opinion since I’m their friend and have known me for ages. Since we have talked about our penises, shaving our balls, porn, and sex sometimes, I am unsure if they would think I was just interested in those conversations because I like guys and was being a perv, even though I genuinely was just interested without any agenda. Or if they’d think I’m their friend because I like them. If they thought this, then I’m afraid they’ll end the friendship out of fear of me being attracted to them or me being a creep by masquerading as straight to get closer to them (which I’ve slightly done to get closer as friends, but never for romantic/sexual reasons). I honestly look at them all as just my friends who make me laugh and have my back and who I can confide in. I’d probably only date one or two of them if I had to, but it’s not something I actively think about - just something I would do if I was asked the question “who out of your guy friends would you date?”. I really value their support and friendship throughout the years, but sometimes it feels as if I’m living a lie by not being totally truthful to them.

I haven’t come out to anyone yet, even if some friends may already have guessed, so coming out to these friends would be a big step, especially if I am unsure if they’d be accepting.

Does anyone have advice on what to do or if they’ve had a similar experience?
Great discussion to initiate ...............

I am now a 67 y.o. bi-man. I had a wonderful wife who passed away Apr 2021. We met very young. We had a wonderful marriage, both emotionally & sexually.

I respond quite often that I am emotionally attracted to women but only physically attracted to men. I am seeing a lot of threads of straight men who confess to enjoy jerking off to gay porn.

Most of our friends see me as straight. I am not feminine in anyway. My sexuality never came into question until 2019.

We retired when my wife was diagnosed with a terminal illness. We sold our house in Toronto and we moved into a small town about 45 minutes southwest of Ottawa. The town is booming.

Here I have met a lot of people; this was good because my wife went into Long Term Care and it fills a void

One couple, who are in Entertainment, who work with a lot of gay people, asked me if I was bisexual ? For the first time ever I openly admitted that I was.

What a mistake that was !!!!

It would take volumes to fully outline what transpired. I have never felt so betrayed. We no longer speak.

I think I hit some "raw nerves" about their own family. After a night of heavy drinking ( I indulge very little in alcohol ) details surfaced. Their son admitted that he is open to being bi-curious. Apparently that never surfaced until then.

The irony is that I think they blame me. Come on, if you sensed I was bi, how could you miss your own son ( who by the way, is drop dead gorgeous - no, I never hit on the son. I know better )

The bottom line, based on my experience; be careful who you come out to. You could be unintentionally hitting some nerves in their own back yard.

Never again will I discuss my sexuality. It is nobody's business.

Maybe, if I were younger and still living in Toronto, this would have been more acceptable. But not in a small town.
 
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Luvcutdick

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Hey, I was in a similar situation with not being out at all up until I was 23. Although, I am gay rather than bisexual, so maybe the situation is not entirely the same, but I thought I would write a response in case you found any part of it helpful, or perhaps in the future some other guys out there who may be struggling, and come cross this thread might find this helpful too.

I wrote two parts here. The top part is my experience of coming out, you can skip this part it if you don't have time to read it, or are not really interested, and the second part contains my suggestions about ‘coming out’, probably the part you are most interested in... (if you do eventually decide to come out that is).
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

My story:

There were also guys in my group of friends at the time I was in the closet who I did not think would be accepting, they also used to throw around the word "gay" a lot. In fact, there was this one guy at school that they used to tease about being gay (he actually wasn't, and is now happily married). I won't say his surname, but they used to yell out "_________ is a poofter", as if they were chanting at a cricket game or something. I know the guy they teased didn't care about it, he used to laugh at them. But the fact they even said things like that made me want to hide my sexuality so much more.

Anyway, I had resolved in my mind that I would never come out or tell anyone how I felt. Ever. Then one night at the pub, one of my friends (a girl) and I were sitting alone and out of the blue, she asked me "what's wrong?" I think she could tell that something had been weighing on my mind because I hadn't really been my cheerful self the last couple of times I'd seen her. I told her "nothing's wrong", but she kept insisting - asking me over and over. I was stubborn, I just wasn't gonna say anything at all, no way. And then out of nowhere, this one random involuntary tear left my eye and ran down my cheek. Well, that was it, lol. She practically lost her shit, and said that we weren't leaving until I told her what the fuck was going on! (and we had gone to the pub in her car, so I was kind of stuck if I didn’t want to walk home haha). Anyway, it took me another 20 minutes just to tell her I was gay (or rather she said it for me), every time I tried to say something to her, I felt like I couldn't speak, like my voice box was broken or something. By this stage she was going through a list of possible things it could be and eventually she arrived at "do you like guys?" and I just kind of nodded. She laughed, gave me this massive hug, and told me no matter what, she will always be my friend and support me. And from that point on she slowly helped me tell my other friends, one at a time (she mostly did the talking for me, but I was completely happy with that).

There was this one friend that I was particularly scared about telling, probably because the thought of losing him as a friend was unimaginable at the time, and out of all my friends, he was the one that I thought would be least accepting (the "straightest" - in the sense of how much he liked talking about girls...). But his reaction to me being gay was the one that surprised me the most. My friend (the girl) told him, and he turned towards me and said "nothing changes", and I guess I must have looked unconvinced or something, cause I was sort of looking down, and not at him. So he grabbed my chin, pushed my head up, looked me dead in the eye (he hadn't really done anything like that before), and said it again more forcefully "nothing changes, you're still my friend". It’s like he really wanted to make sure I understood, I mean he was never going to get emotional about it, and would never be able to relate to my situation, but it was probably his way of telling me that he accepted me, no matter what.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

'Coming Out' Suggestions:

Ultimately the decision to tell others about your sexuality is yours, and you don’t have to tell anyone if you don’t want to, but here are my suggestions if you do decide that you want to tell your friends:

  • Tell just one other person first. Pick the person that you trust the most, and who you think will be the least phased by it. And pick the right time too, don’t tell that person when either of you are really drunk or when there are other people / distractions around. Telling one other person first will be like a good practice run, and give you a bit of confidence to tell others.
  • Don’t tell a large group of your guy friends at once, take people aside at different times, or even tell 2 or 3 at a time, but don’t just tell everyone when you’re in a large group. I say this because some guys may react negatively in a big group, not because they care about it as such, but more from the point of view that they may consciously or subconsciously think that the other guys in the group expect them to react in a negative way, to sort of prove that they are straight and not into guys themselves, if that makes sense.
  • Be prepared that you may lose a couple of your friends, or that they may just slowly become more and more distant with you. It’s unlikely, but possible, and it will be easier for you if you prepare yourself that it could happen. Personally, I would say “Fuck ‘em, they’re not really your friends!”, but it’s easy for me to say that now, and back then I know I would have been really upset about that kind of situation. So try not to take it too personally if it does happen, it’s really their issue (but I know it would be hard).
  • Be prepared that some guys may just assume that you’re into them just because you like guys, even though that we both know this is not the case. (Out of my group of 10-15 school friends, I was only genuinely physically attracted to 1 or 2, so I completely understand you’re concern here). But if any of them get a bit out of hand with it, and you want to put them back in their place, just think of a good comeback to have ready that will shut them down, something with a bit of humour or sarcasm, but nothing too offensive (unless you don’t like that person or really want to shut them down if they're being a dick about it). This is a terrible example, because I can’t think of something witty right now and it kind of has to be something that applies to your mates and what they’re like and their sense of humour, but something like “Yeah sorry mate, you’re not really my type, I’m only attracted to guys who don’t skip leg day…”
  • Be prepared that there will be two main types of reactions 1) Some of your mates will listen to what you say when you tell them, take it on board and never really talk about it ever again. Don’t take this kind of reaction the wrong way, its not that they are uncomfortable or have a problem with it, it’s just that they don’t really know what to say or how to relate, but they do still want to be your friend and, 2) there will be other friends who will talk about it with you, and they will be just generally curious, they might point random guys out and ask you do you think that that guy is hot, or they will be curious about how two guys have sex and what position your prefer and so on, so that can be kind of fun.
  • And here’s the funny thing, it may or may not happen to you, but I’ve found that since I came out some of straight friends opened up to me a lot more one on one to talk about their feelings and other stuff about their relationships. I guess it’s because they feel like they don’t have to be so ‘macho’ around me and can let their guard down a bit, and I guess they assume I am more in touch with my emotions, (which I don’t know if I am or not lol), but I am happy to know that they feel like they can talk to me about anything at all without judgement. So, the upside is some of your friendships may become stronger too.
Anyway, I think you should give your friends more credit, they may actually surprise you! I know some of mine did. I was imagining all kinds of terrible scenarios, but mostly everyone was completely fine with it and couldn't have cared less. At the end of the day, I think it is better to risk losing one or two friends, and living your life how you want to, rather than living a certain way or hiding your true self so as to not make others feel uncomfortable or to not lose any friendships. One last thought, it may be helpful in your own mind to try to figure out are you just attracted to guys sexually, or would you also want to be open to pursuing a relationship with a guy as well? I’m sure it will come up, so you should think about it before hand so you know how you would respond to that kind of question if your friends ask, and it may also affect your decision on whether or not to come out., the former might be easier to do without coming out than the latter.

I hope everything works out for you the way you want it to, and good luck!

Very, very well said and written !!!
 

Luvcutdick

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Your title describes my experience: Straight Friends Think I'm Straight. My size, athleticism and demeanor all say straight and have since I was young. (I'm old now - a Boomer turning 60.)

Few asked when I was young. My reputation with the ladies reinforced it in the minds of friends. I frequently blew them off to go on dates or be with a girlfriend. If any of your friends have disappeared because they have a new girlfriend you know what I'm talking about.

Friends who asked usually said something like "have you ever thought of doing something with a guy?" or "would you?"

I'd always hit the ball back in their court with "Why? Are you thinking about doing something with guys?"

More often than not a friend asked because he was curious himself and wanted to talk about it. If pressed I would usually say, "I don't know--I suppose it would depend on the guy" or "I don't know I've never really thought about it."

I didn't start sleeping with guys until last semester at uni. None were close friends. As far as I was concerned they were off limits because my friendship with them was more important than being romantically involved. None of them expressed interest in me though a few said things like "I'm not gay but if I were I'd date a guy like you." This reflects black-and-white thinking which still reigns today. Straight or gay. Few think to ask "both?"

So we danced around the issue. I never came out as bi. I wasn't ever concerned about acceptance but I get that it's a different world today. Coming out is much more acceptable now than 40 years ago. I'd say it depends on your friends. How open minded are they?

My advice is this: keep it on a need-to-know basis and no one needs to know.

Your last line .............. absolutely "spot on". Read my response a couple threads following. !
 
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deleted5501621

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Hey, so all of my guy friends in my close circle are straight and talk about which women they find hot all the time. However, none of them know that I also like men, and I normally just jump on the bandwagon with the conversations about women, so they think I’m straight too.
I know some friends in the group who have asked me my sexuality, and I’ve been very quiet/shy in response, so I am sure they would figure out I’m not entirely straight (I mean, if I was straight, I would just say it). Those friends I think would be accepting. However, there are some who seem to not be as accepting too (they throw the word “gay” around as a negative), but might change their opinion since I’m their friend and have known me for ages. Since we have talked about our penises, shaving our balls, porn, and sex sometimes, I am unsure if they would think I was just interested in those conversations because I like guys and was being a perv, even though I genuinely was just interested without any agenda. Or if they’d think I’m their friend because I like them. If they thought this, then I’m afraid they’ll end the friendship out of fear of me being attracted to them or me being a creep by masquerading as straight to get closer to them (which I’ve slightly done to get closer as friends, but never for romantic/sexual reasons). I honestly look at them all as just my friends who make me laugh and have my back and who I can confide in. I’d probably only date one or two of them if I had to, but it’s not something I actively think about - just something I would do if I was asked the question “who out of your guy friends would you date?”. I really value their support and friendship throughout the years, but sometimes it feels as if I’m living a lie by not being totally truthful to them.

I haven’t come out to anyone yet, even if some friends may already have guessed, so coming out to these friends would be a big step, especially if I am unsure if they’d be accepting.

Does anyone have advice on what to do or if they’ve had a similar experience?
Nothing wrong with being closeted, it's your choice. I am in some ways myself, don't consider myself to be a true gay man but fantasize about being with a class trans and in saying that probably will never do it because most I would fashion are in the big city! .......
 
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deleted5148501

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Hey, so all of my guy friends in my close circle are straight and talk about which women they find hot all the time. However, none of them know that I also like men, and I normally just jump on the bandwagon with the conversations about women, so they think I’m straight too.
I know some friends in the group who have asked me my sexuality, and I’ve been very quiet/shy in response, so I am sure they would figure out I’m not entirely straight (I mean, if I was straight, I would just say it). Those friends I think would be accepting. However, there are some who seem to not be as accepting too (they throw the word “gay” around as a negative), but might change their opinion since I’m their friend and have known me for ages. Since we have talked about our penises, shaving our balls, porn, and sex sometimes, I am unsure if they would think I was just interested in those conversations because I like guys and was being a perv, even though I genuinely was just interested without any agenda. Or if they’d think I’m their friend because I like them. If they thought this, then I’m afraid they’ll end the friendship out of fear of me being attracted to them or me being a creep by masquerading as straight to get closer to them (which I’ve slightly done to get closer as friends, but never for romantic/sexual reasons). I honestly look at them all as just my friends who make me laugh and have my back and who I can confide in. I’d probably only date one or two of them if I had to, but it’s not something I actively think about - just something I would do if I was asked the question “who out of your guy friends would you date?”. I really value their support and friendship throughout the years, but sometimes it feels as if I’m living a lie by not being totally truthful to them.

I haven’t come out to anyone yet, even if some friends may already have guessed, so coming out to these friends would be a big step, especially if I am unsure if they’d be accepting.

Does anyone have advice on what to do or if they’ve had a similar experience?
Damn is this me. I’m 24, and I’ve seen literally all my straight guy friends naked. They love to show their dicks and asses just to be funny or when I go on trips and am in a hotel they straight up just walk around naked. The worst part is I literally have a crush on half of my friends lmao. None of them have any idea i’m as gay as they come and I just give off a really straight persona. The only people who know i’m gay are my two closest girlfriends and my cousin. My parents, siblings and all my guy friends don’t know.

Unfortunately, I don’t have too much advice cause i’m still living this. Part of me wants to tell them i’m gay but I don’t want them to think I’ve been looking at their dicks and getting turned on…even though for some of them I kind of have lmao. But part of me just wants to stay quiet and not wreck our friendships. I will say it’s getting harder to keep a secret. I mean i’m 24 and have only just made up girlfriends or hookups to them. Theyve never met a GF or anything cause I’ve only had sex with guys. Idk. It’s a sticky situation. But best of luck to you.
 

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Dude like your other question how much do you like theses friendships me guys can't deal with having a bisexuals or gay friend because in their mind it may make people think they are gay or bi I think with these friends just be you I would not come out and say oh by the way I am gay it may weird out some of them and fracture the group friendship you enjoy
Those guys are insecure as hell.. I know several str8 guys who are friends(sum best friends) with gay or bi guys…. Dude will know when and who to tell.. REAL friends will still b there for him
 

BMJ31

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Damn is this me. I’m 24, and I’ve seen literally all my straight guy friends naked. They love to show their dicks and asses just to be funny or when I go on trips and am in a hotel they straight up just walk around naked. The worst part is I literally have a crush on half of my friends lmao. None of them have any idea i’m as gay as they come and I just give off a really straight persona. The only people who know i’m gay are my two closest girlfriends and my cousin. My parents, siblings and all my guy friends don’t know.

Unfortunately, I don’t have too much advice cause i’m still living this. Part of me wants to tell them i’m gay but I don’t want them to think I’ve been looking at their dicks and getting turned on…even though for some of them I kind of have lmao. But part of me just wants to stay quiet and not wreck our friendships. I will say it’s getting harder to keep a secret. I mean i’m 24 and have only just made up girlfriends or hookups to them. Theyve never met a GF or anything cause I’ve only had sex with guys. Idk. It’s a sticky situation. But best of luck to you.
Crushing on ur friends is a horrible thing…
 

One-Hot-Mess

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Damn is this me. I’m 24, and I’ve seen literally all my straight guy friends naked. They love to show their dicks and asses just to be funny or when I go on trips and am in a hotel they straight up just walk around naked. The worst part is I literally have a crush on half of my friends lmao. None of them have any idea i’m as gay as they come and I just give off a really straight persona. The only people who know i’m gay are my two closest girlfriends and my cousin. My parents, siblings and all my guy friends don’t know.

Unfortunately, I don’t have too much advice cause i’m still living this. Part of me wants to tell them i’m gay but I don’t want them to think I’ve been looking at their dicks and getting turned on…even though for some of them I kind of have lmao. But part of me just wants to stay quiet and not wreck our friendships. I will say it’s getting harder to keep a secret. I mean i’m 24 and have only just made up girlfriends or hookups to them. Theyve never met a GF or anything cause I’ve only had sex with guys. Idk. It’s a sticky situation. But best of luck to you.
IT'S YOUR LIFE. do not do anything that might hurt the friendship/
 
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deleted6636031

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Hey, so all of my guy friends in my close circle are straight and talk about which women they find hot all the time. However, none of them know that I also like men, and I normally just jump on the bandwagon with the conversations about women, so they think I’m straight too.
I know some friends in the group who have asked me my sexuality, and I’ve been very quiet/shy in response, so I am sure they would figure out I’m not entirely straight (I mean, if I was straight, I would just say it). Those friends I think would be accepting. However, there are some who seem to not be as accepting too (they throw the word “gay” around as a negative), but might change their opinion since I’m their friend and have known me for ages. Since we have talked about our penises, shaving our balls, porn, and sex sometimes, I am unsure if they would think I was just interested in those conversations because I like guys and was being a perv, even though I genuinely was just interested without any agenda. Or if they’d think I’m their friend because I like them. If they thought this, then I’m afraid they’ll end the friendship out of fear of me being attracted to them or me being a creep by masquerading as straight to get closer to them (which I’ve slightly done to get closer as friends, but never for romantic/sexual reasons). I honestly look at them all as just my friends who make me laugh and have my back and who I can confide in. I’d probably only date one or two of them if I had to, but it’s not something I actively think about - just something I would do if I was asked the question “who out of your guy friends would you date?”. I really value their support and friendship throughout the years, but sometimes it feels as if I’m living a lie by not being totally truthful to them.

I haven’t come out to anyone yet, even if some friends may already have guessed, so coming out to these friends would be a big step, especially if I am unsure if they’d be accepting.

Does anyone have advice on what to do or if they’ve had a similar experience?
People who don't accept you for who you are, are not friends just people hang out with. Just tell the truth if you feel the need to express it and see who will stay there for you.The others are not worth it and it will save you time..
 

One-Hot-Mess

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People who don't accept you for who you are, are not friends just people hang out with. Just tell the truth if you feel the need to express it and see who will stay there for you.The others are not worth it and it will save you time..
well said.