This is very hard for me to get off my chest because the more I think about it, the more it worries me. I've never told anyone but it's really killing me inside. First off, I consider myself straight and have always dated girl. I have always been very open-minded about sexuality and sometimes felt curious about being with another guy. This past spring, I met this guy (I'll call Tony) through some mutual friends at a party. He and I got along really well and we started hanging out a lot. After a while, I kind of considered him my best friend because we had a lot in common and we both trusted each other. One night, while we were having some drinks, I opened up to him about being slightly curious. He admitted that he was also. To make a long story short, we ended up really liking eachother. Weeks went by and we would talk over the phone almost every night as if we were dating. I was really scared a the thought of possibly falling in love with a guy but at the moment, it didn't matter to me. During the summer, we decided to meet up to hang out. He invited me over to his place and we ended up having sex. It was my first time ever doing anything with a guy and I REALLY enjoyed it. It was probably the best sex I had ever had in my life. VERY passionate. Unfortunately, after that night everything went down hill. He became really scared about the feelings he had for me and what we had just done. After 3 days of trying to get a hold of him over the phone, we finally spoke. He explained that he was scared "of being gay" and didn't want to continue anything. He told me that we should go our separate ways and pretend like nothing ever happened between us. Hearing those words crushed me. I had never cried for a girl but that night....I cried like a baby. Something about him made me feel so comfortable and on top of the world. If things would have escalated, I would have gone as far as to told my parents and family about my sexuality...just to be happy with him. It's been 2 months now since that night we slept together. I have seen him at friends parties and campus events about 3 times now. Every time I run into him, it's very awkward. We still say hi to each other out of courtesy, but thats about it. We have a lot of friends in common and live in the same area so I'm sure we'll be running into each other a lot. Not a day goes by that I don't think about him. I constantly think about what could have been. I have never felt this way about anyone before and it really sucks. I really wish he could get over his denial about things and we could be together. What should I do? Do you guys think he will ever get over his fear of "being gay"? Does he ever think about me? Any advice is appreciated. Thanks for understanding.