Straight Guys Attraction Syndrome (SGAS)...

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by lopo2000, Sep 12, 2010.

  1. lopo2000

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    Yes, I just made that one up, because it seems like a constant happening in my life. Do any of you experience what I do? My so-called love life goes on like this...

    I will meet a hot nice straight guy, then for some reason, he became so romantic to me (or what they call as bromantic), and it seems like it's only with me. But no, they are not gay, they are as straight as an arrow. They just seem like to spend their affection on me, in manly way of course. Until now, I have around 5 straight "lovers" and the other straight guys seem to like to be my best friends or something (yes, it sounds vain, I'm sorry, I don't mean to make it sound that way). What makes it worse is that when they are very romantic like that, I tend to fall in love with them, then get hurt when that kind of love cannot be returned.

    And what makes it even worse is that I am so pathologically lacking of gay friends. I have only around 3 gay friends and the others just do not seem to want to be my friends. I don't fucking know why. The only "sex" I have ever had was a suck session with an Italian guy a couple months ago.

    What I am asking is that, do you have any insights as to why something like this can happen to someone? Is it my personality that may be only attractive to straight guys to befriend me? Or what? Please, I seriously need a second opinion.
     
  2. D_Otis Elevatornuts

    D_Otis Elevatornuts New Member

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    I can't help you cause I'm the same way all I can say is it sucks !! Hope you find the answer your looking for
     
  3. lopo2000

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    What do you mean? You only got lesbian "lovers"? Because it is stated there that you are 80% straight.
     
  4. D_Otis Elevatornuts

    D_Otis Elevatornuts New Member

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    Noo as in liking only straight guys
     
  5. luka82

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    Lopo I only do straight guys! :wink::biggrin1:
     
  6. sykray

    sykray Active Member

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    I think the point is that many straight guys fall in love with lopo2000 - though not in a sexual way. I'm not surprised that they feel loving towards him. He is probably a warm, attractive and personable man and we are considering this within the context of Malaysian culture plus the fact that homosexuality is illegal in Malaysia.

    I suspect the problem is really one in which they feel loving and affectionate towards lopo2000 but his need to find a gay lover to settle down with, possibly on a long term basis, is causing him to hope and misinterpret the boundaries of their non-erotic love to be the kind of love he desires. He then falls in romantic erotic love with them and then bangs his head against the fact that they only wish to be loving best friends but no sex.

    Sorry lopo2000, to end this often re[eated theme, it is your responsibility to learn to distinguish between reality and desirable fantasy.
     
  7. lopo2000

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    Wow, share with me the secrets!

    See! This is what I'm talking about, you hate me already... *sigh... I mean, not hate 'hate', but you know, I can see that you can't get along with me already... Maybe it's how my gay personality doesn't click with other gays' gay personality, maybe it's how I say things, or something... For example this, I really don't want to sound vain, I just want to describe the situation... Again, I don't fucking understand...
     
    #7 lopo2000, Sep 12, 2010
    Last edited: Sep 12, 2010
  8. avg_joe

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    I love straight guys. I guess I am more straight than gay. I have never had a gay friend before. Straight guys are the ones I have the intimate relationships with. They are the ones I know as men since I became an adult. I am a straight guy addict.
     
    #8 avg_joe, Sep 12, 2010
    Last edited: Sep 12, 2010
  9. lopo2000

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    Seriously dude, how do you do it??
     
  10. avg_joe

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    Start with a friendship, then go to the next level if you are comfortable with the person.
     
  11. Bbucko

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    You can "get along" just fine with someone who challenges you, in fact that's one of my definitions of a "true friend".

    There could be any number of reasons why you can only take interest in impossible men (and by their very definition, straight guys are impossible and/or unavailable). I'd suggest you take some time to reflect on this, as it's vital to your ability to enjoy intimacy if you cannot be attracted to anyone who'd be attracted to you.

    And no: I don't "hate" you.
     
  12. B_Hung Jon

    B_Hung Jon New Member

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    I would say that I have similar relationships with my close male friends but they run the gamut between super straight to gay. I'm not sexually attracted to most of my male friends but I do love them very much and they love me. So here's the rub (pardon the pun). You can be intimate with straight males emotionally because we all need to have close friends. The problem comes when you may fall in love with them. BTW I've had a few of my straight buddies fall for me and they didn't know what was happening to them. It took a lot of communication with them to figure out what they were feeling and why they were feeling it. It isn't a one-way-street when you love people, whether girls or guys.
     
  13. lopo2000

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    Next level I guess you mean trying to explore his interest towards you?

    You're right. Maybe there's something I'm missing in here. I'm guessing it's my personality. I don't know. But many gays in Malaysia fall under the effeminate type, so maybe they're just not comfortable with me or something. And they're kinda not my type. Most guys of my type live at other countries, which is too bad........

    Wow, this is interesting. Maybe they're just in some degree homosexual but they haven't known it, is it possible?
     
  14. B_Hung Jon

    B_Hung Jon New Member

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    I don't think that loving other guys is "homosexual" or whatever. It's just love. Think about it like you would think about loving a sister or a brother. It's hard for most of us to think outside the hetero-normative way in which we've been raised. What I've found is that guys who identify as straight long for closeness with other men. They're just afraid of all the "gay" stigma stuff associated it. When a guy really cares about you as a close friend, he will do anything for you. Also think about how soldiers are trained to take care of each other in war. Your battlefield buddy is one person you have to rely on and support. It's the same way with straight guys loving each other. It just doesn't always get to the sexual/physical aspect of love in most cases. Make sense?
     
  15. lopo2000

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    Yes, it does. :)

    I really thank you...
     
  16. avg_joe

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    Yes, trying to explore everything about him, and any possibility that he could be persuaded into getting naked.
     
  17. lopo2000

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    Well, I'm hoping so! If he's naked, my life'd be in heaven...
     
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