straight guys, WE DON'T WANT YOU!

[D_Aston Asstonne]

He wants an ego boost, NOT all straight guys assume that gay guys want every male they come across. He's just being an immature douche.

Agreed.

 

[ladsonbehr49]

I find straight men think of themselves way too much and think everybody wants them and in reality nobody wants most of the men I meet. Take my former roommate who was straight and he could not get women to date him and I told him that I would not date you either or go bed with you and I think that was the beginning of the end of our relationship because it sucks to be him and it sucks even worse when no woman wants you or a man does not either...it sucks to be such a man that nobody wants.

 

[AZZAWA]

I have 700 people who report to me and many weird situations come across my desk. In this situation I would tell the receiver of the comments to first say to the man who is making inappropriate comments that he finds them offensive and he would like him to stop. That can be said in a non-confrontational way. If they don't stop then I would bring it to the attention of your boss and/or HR.

People say stupid things all the time due to ignorance of what is appropriate and what isn't. Letting someone know their comments are inappropriate and hurtful is step 1. One doesn't have to follow my suggestion and you could go directly to HR but I would tell the offender first. Just my suggestion.

 

[D_Tim McGnaw]

Comparing inappropriate comments to tit touching. Congratulations on the stupidest comparison I've ever heard.

Stupid or not the comparison isn't Maxcock's it's a part of most laws regarding sexual harassment in the workplace. For these purposes the difference between inappropriate touching and inappropriate conversation is fairly slight.

Most sexual harassment laws regard the failure of management to properly prevent their staff from suffering inapproriate sexual comments or acts as actionable.

So presuming Marley had reported these comments at some point, or they have otherwise come to the attention of management where Marley works and they have failed to reprimand and stop them then Marley could just as readily sue his employers as if the guy had touched him up.

The point being that the workplace isn't supposed to be an environment in which employees should have to deal with any sexual harassment of any kind whatsoever and the employer is (in many jurisdictions) legally responsible for protecting the professional nature of the workplace.

 

[marleyisalegend]

I all else fails, try this. :biggrin2:

Somebody with a sense of humor? Is this just a mirage?

 

[erratic]

i tried to ignore it, play it off, laugh it off until last week when i just had to break it down for him. i said "if you were the last man on earth i would start fucking tubes of toothpaste." just because i'm gay doesn't mean i want every man i see.

Hooray! Doesn't it feel good? One of my roommates was like that. He would ask me if his outfit for his date looked good (cause, you know, I'm the gay one and I should know) and then he would get all homoweird when I said anything at all. Finally I said "Dude, trust me, you have nothing to worry about from me." I think it hurt him, but he got the point.

And in my opinion you're also to blame for this situation.

Ah, blaming the victim. Lovely.

 

[D_Ivana_Bhig-Dicke]

Don't call my comments stupid, you little twerp. (I also notice you deliberately deleted the question mark in my quote and selectively bolded to make it appear like statement of direct comparison rather than a question. Sleazy on your part.) Nevertheless, I deliberately used an obvious example to demonstrate for you that inappropriate conduct is inappropriate conduct period, and in neither case is the onus on the receiver of the behavior to set "guidelines" for the offender.

Little twerp? Love it.

And it was a stupid comparison. Apples to oranges. You say an obvious example but I say its more along the lines of outlandish. It's like comparing saying your going to kill someone and then just going out and killing someone. They are both crimes (1 verbal assault the other murder), so why not compare them right? The problem with comparing them is that you have now made the lesser action just as powerful as the extreme one. You might as well say double entendre's in the workplace are the same as masturbating in the lunch room.

And I agree with you on your last point. The onus is not on the receiver. Remarks like that should be shot down immediately, but they weren't. According to the OP he ignored it, played it off, and even laughed it off.

So if I'm at work and someone says "Ryan I need you" as in "I need your assistance for something". For argument sake I say "Oh I'm sure you do" in playful suggestive manner and he/she laughs, am I still at fault the next time I do and he/she flips her lid at me? No guidelines were set with the initial exchange.

Ps. I don't know how the question mark was taken out. Possibly when I was adding in the bold it got erased and without proof reading I just added a period. Completely unintentional and in no way was I trying to take away from what you were saying.

Being "out of the loop", as you put it, is no excuse. What if the situation were reversed and marley was hitting on the straight guy? What if that straight guy was you? What if marley was your boss? I ask you as someone who was the victim of persistent sexual harassment by a male boss, who was intimidated at first. When it finally became unbearable, and I stood up and reported him, it was my word against his. Guess who lost his job? Was I to "blame" for him being "out of the loop"?

Once again you are bringing up scenarios that have nothing to do with original incident. Marley is not hitting on this straight guy and the straight guy wasn't hitting on Marley. And for arguments sake let's say Marley was hitting on me at my job. I'd ask him to stop the first time. There.

And what's with this whole boss talk. This man was NOT Marley's boss, he was his co-worker. This man was not in a position of power over Marley.

And let me say this is not some "hey nice dick, nice tits, I wanna fuck you, you wanna fuck me, I hate your boyfriend/girlfriend because I want in that, suck my dick, I'll suck your dick, let's touch dicks, tit grabbing, dick smacking, dry humping, ass slapping, bra snapping" incident.

Marley innocently made a double entendre, his coworker pointed it out and made a joke, and by Marley's own account he laughed. I don't know the extent of the sexual harassment you received at your previous job Max and I'm sorry you got the short end of it, but I just don't see how Marley's coworker is 100% at fault in all this.

 

[Over-reaching]

Marley innocently made a double entendre, his coworker pointed it out and made a joke, and by Marley's own account he laughed. I don't know the extent of the sexual harassment you received at your previous job Max and I'm sorry you got the short end of it, but I just don't see how Marley's coworker is 100% at fault in all this.

Legally, I suspect that Marley's coworker is 100 per cent at fault. However, be that as it may (and it would depend, for example, on where Marley works, because laws can differ), now that Marley has indicated his displeasure, the onus is definitely on the coworker to stop it.

I'd add (nothing to do with sexuality here) that people often laugh off a comment that might have the potential to be offensive because a one-off comment may well not be offensive. However, when the comments persist, they may become so. For some reason, however, some people seem to think that continued comments of that sort are somehow funny. But I really don't think Marley's response excuses the co-workers continued harassment. However, as I say, now that he has been told the situation, I'd say that by any reasonable assessment of the situation the co-worker should be expected to stop.

 

[cocktaste]

I'm TRYING to get through this thread... do you have to talk to him, OP?

 

[maxcok]

Little twerp? Love it.

And it was a stupid comparison. Apples to oranges. You say an obvious example but I say its more along the lines of outlandish. It's like comparing saying your going to kill someone and then just going out and killing someone. They are both crimes (1 verbal assault the other murder), so why not compare them right? The problem with comparing them is that you have now made the lesser action just as powerful as the extreme one. You might as well say double entendre's in the workplace are the same as masturbating in the lunch room.

And I agree with you on your last point. The onus is not on the receiver. Remarks like that should be shot down immediately, but they weren't. According to the OP he ignored it, played it off, and even laughed it off.

So if I'm at work and someone says "Ryan I need you" as in "I need your assistance for something". For argument sake I say "Oh I'm sure you do" in playful suggestive manner and he/she laughs, am I still at fault the next time I do and he/she flips her lid at me? No guidelines were set with the initial exchange.

Ps. I don't know how the question mark was taken out. Possibly when I was adding in the bold it got erased and without proof reading I just added a period. Completely unintentional and in no way was I trying to take away from what you were saying.

Bullshit. You intentionally tampered with my quote to change the intention. It's obvious, and it's transparent.

Once again you are bringing up scenarios that have nothing to do with original incident. Marley is not hitting on this straight guy and the straight guy wasn't hitting on Marley. And for arguments sake let's say Marley was hitting on me at my job. I'd ask him to stop the first time. There.

And what's with this whole boss talk. This man was NOT Marley's boss, he was his co-worker. This man was not in a position of power over Marley.

And let me say this is not some "hey nice dick, nice tits, I wanna fuck you, you wanna fuck me, I hate your boyfriend/girlfriend because I want in that, suck my dick, I'll suck your dick, let's touch dicks, tit grabbing, dick smacking, dry humping, ass slapping, bra snapping" incident.

Marley innocently made a double entendre, his coworker pointed it out and made a joke, and by Marley's own account he laughed. I don't know the extent of the sexual harassment you received at your previous job Max and I'm sorry you got the short end of it, but I just don't see how Marley's coworker is 100% at fault in all this.

The point of giving you different comparisons was to try to illustrate to your dense little brain that sexual harassment is sexual harassment, plain and simple, and in this day and age there is no excuse for it. These examples are not "apples and oranges", as you say, they are all rotten apples. Regardless of the circumstances, the genders, the orientations, or the dynamics, it is not incumbent upon the victim to set "guidelines" for the offender, as you said, nor is the offender excused for being "out of the loop", as you also said. Why can you not grasp this? You must be an idiot.

And let me say this is not some "hey nice dick, nice tits, I wanna fuck you, you wanna fuck me, I hate your boyfriend/girlfriend because I want in that, suck my dick, I'll suck your dick, let's touch dicks, tit grabbing, dick smacking, dry humping, ass slapping, bra snapping" incident.

What the fuck? Talk about apples and oranges. It doesn't have to vulgar to be harassment either.
Way to take it over the top. You are an idiot. A complete idiot.

 

[louielouie82]

I've always found it entertaining that the straight guys who live in terror of gay advances seem to be the least likely to experience just that. :tongue:

 

[engorged]

Give him a break. A lot of us hetero's are a little uncomfortable around gay guys at first. It's a strange new experience that takes some guys a while to get used to. It just might be the easiest way for him to interact with you.

And in my opinion you're also to blame for this situation. You set no guide lines to what talk was appropriate or not. It would be the same as a man saying those things to a woman. She can say "Excuse that's not appropriate talk for work." and curb those comments on the spot.

If you don't let someone know it's inappropriate don't blame for being "out of the loop".

I sorta get what you are saying, although worded a little poorly. There is a time when people reach out via probaly what seems to be "appropriate" channels. This can be misguided, as not all gay guys want all their social interactions to be at a sexual level. Most of us have some depth...

 

[maxcok]

I've always found it entertaining that the straight guys who live in terror of gay advances seem to be the least likely to experience just that. :tongue:

Ditto. And as previously mentioned:

The ones who are insecure and read things into it are, often times, not actually entirely straight.

And often the ones who don't have a shot in hell at getting any.

 

[wallaboi]

so this coworker of mine takes EVERYTHING i say and turns it into an innuendo, never missing a chance to insinuate that i'm somehow infatuated with him. "can you help me with this" is a come-on. "great job" is a come-on.

i tried to ignore it, play it off, laugh it off until last week when i just had to break it down for him. i said "if you were the last man on earth i would start fucking tubes of toothpaste." just because i'm gay doesn't mean i want every man i see.

Not really sure about the original intention of this thread. The title, it seems is an exclamation of frustration - do you feel constantly harrased and victimized by straight men? The original post is vague at best and doesn't tell us as posters what you want this conversation to be about.

Are you asking for advise on how to deal with the situation or are you asking us to discuss sexual harrasment in the workplace? Maybe you just want to impress us with your witty come back.

If it is only innuendo and not explicit sexual language perhaps, it is all in your mind.

 

[Thirdlegproduction]

I try to make sexual preference not an issue when talking to people gay or straight but that almost always leads to gay people hitting on me just because i dont treat them differently. And if i try to show that im not interest the just persist to the point that i have to be very rude.

 

[maxcok]

I try to make sexual preference not an issue when talking to people gay or straight but that almost always leads to gay people hitting on me just because i dont treat them differently. And if i try to show that im not interest the just persist to the point that i have to be very rude.

Oh get over your damn self.

"Methinks the gentleman doth protest too much." -- Will Shakespeare (and Henry Miller)

 

[D_Ivana_Bhig-Dicke]

Bullshit. You intentionally tampered with my quote to change the intention. It's obvious, and it's transparent.

The point of giving you different comparisons was to try to illustrate to your dense little brain that sexual harassment is sexual harassment, plain and simple, and in this day and age there is no excuse for it. These examples are not "apples and oranges", as you say, they are all rotten apples. Regardless of the circumstances, the genders, the orientations, or the dynamics, it is not incumbent upon the victim to set "guidelines" for the offender, as you said, nor is the offender excused for being "out of the loop", as you also said. Why can you not grasp this? You must be an idiot.

What the fuck? Talk about apples and oranges. It doesn't have to vulgar to be harassment either.
Way to take it over the top. You are an idiot. A complete idiot.

You've been beaten. Just get over it and move on. :biggrin1:

 

[maxcok]

You are an idiot. A complete idiot.

.

 

[D_Tallie_Wacker]

I'm sorry, but I've watched the show Glee, and that has taught me that gay guys do in fact chase us straight ones.




Just kidding!

 

[wseattle]

The feeling is mutual.