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This has turned into a interesting thread. This is what I was taught and what I taught boys in sexulaity classes. Expermentation in prepuberty and early puberty is what is is experimentation. The mind of a child is not supposed to really understand all that there is about human sexuality. So if two teen guys experiment that doesn't mean that they are really attracted to each other. I suppose experimentation can occur at any age. But if we counted sexual encounters in the early teens as making a person gay, then the straight world would be in a very small minority. So here are the definitions that I taught and believe apply:
Homosexual acts are sexual acts between two people of the same gender.
Heterosexual acts are sexual acts between two people of different gender.
Any person is capable of engaging in either if he or she so pleases.
A heterosexual is a person who prefers or fantasizes about people of the opposite gender.
A homoxexual is a person who prefers or fantasizes about pepole of the same sex.
A bisexual is a person who fantasizes about people of both sexes and may have a slight preference for one or the other, but still have true attraction to both.
An environmental heterosexual is a person who prefers or fantasizes about persons of the same gender but has sex with peopleof the opposite sex because of cultural or religious pressure to live in a "straight" world.
An environmental homosexual is a person who prefers or fantasizes about persons of the opposite gender, but because persons of opposite gender are not available at that moment or for long periods of time, they engage in homosexual activity, but will return to or engage in hetriosexual behavior when the opportunity is available and not continue being interested in homosexual activity.
A heterosexual teen age boy may participate in a mutual masturbation with other guys, but what what label best describes him is what he is fantasizing about in his mind. The same is true for oral sex. Another guy may have exceptional ability to give blow jobs and a guy may let him do it all the time. But what determines which label to put is what is going on in the guys head. If he is fantasizing about some chick when he blows he is not really gay no matter how many times he does it. He is only an envioronmental homosexual at best.
Young guys may not fantasize about anything. What happens is no differnt than a full bladder, it just feels good and keeps getting better until they finally blow. The full bladder gets fuller until the guy finally pees and there is relief, but I would harldly call peeing a preference of anything except getting rid of the uriine. As with young guys it is the act of getting rid of all that semen that has accumulated. It is a release and that is all. There is no attraction to anything really. So guys that are straight need not get too concerned about what they did in those early years and get all upset about it later.
I suppose that there is some truth to the scale that has been talked about by several people. But the scale does not account for "asexual" behavior by children and young teens and environmental factors. And it does not address fantasy.
I believe that it is fantasy that is what really determines the true label. And not all guys are going to tell the truth about what went on in their mind when they blew. A guy can engage in heterosexual behavior his entire life, but if his attraction was always for men and that was the fantasy all the time even when having sex with a woman, then he was an environmental heterosexual all right, but in truth he was gay. Somehow he managed to separate his mind from the woman he was with. But secretly he fantacized about men, looked sexualy at men, got aroused at men he saw as attractive to him and dreamed of a time when he could have sex with a man and not get caught or "in his mind" go to hell for having sex outside a a traditional marriage.
In the above discussion, I am talking about male sexuality primarily. I don't know how women really experience orgasm and I never will. But all guys straight, bi or gay or "asexual" are physically doing the same thing when they cum.
A major factor in all of this is the cultural and religious beliefs taught to guys from birth. They affect greatly sexaul behavior. I don't know how much they affect sexual fantasy. Some I am sure.
It would be interesting if a group of babies could be raised by a mixed group of professional "parents" and there was total nudity in a climate that was constantly warm, thus requiring no clothes. In this situation, no sexual activity is ever mentioned or taught as wrong ever. No stories, myths, no liturature or religion ever introduced. All sexual activity permitted between any adults in the open gay and straight. Only rule is that kids are taught that they can't have sex until they enter puberty. That is the only rule. Wonder what we would see happen? I suspect all the charts of percentages that are this or that or sometning else would all be wrong. If these children continued livng in an isolated group for a lifetime, I don't know if anyone could accurately predict what kinds of relationships would emerge.
I suspect that there would be a lot of gay activity. There may be even more gay activity then straight activity in the early years. But as the childrten discovered the art of making babies, family units would eventually emerge at some point and as the children entered into middle adult life. most sexual activity would become heterosexual. By the time these children became grandparents, they would as a majority come to the conclusion that since sexual activity does produce chidlren, then that must be what sexual activity is for and the majority of the children now ages 50 and above would be saying that sex is only for people of the opposite sex. Nevermind what they did as children and teenagers. We would then be exactly where we are now. The grandchildren of those "experimental children" would be taught the same thing that we as a society are teaching our children now.
Because of cultural and religious beliefs, I don't know if anyone is totally truthful and tells all that is really going on in their minds when engaging in sex. Some of the time yes. I don't think many wives want to know everything their husband thinks about while he is engaging his wife in the marital bliss of sex.
it is so complicated that we just have terms and their definitions so we can at least discuss it intelligently. And sexuality is different for males then females and no one can ever really tell us the difference because one would have to live two lives, one as a male and one as a female and be able to remember them both.
I suspect that where we are now is just about the best we can do now or in the future. Confusion will always reign.
In some posts in another thread I was referred to as Dr. Phil. No charge for this.
Freddie
) because it's PERFECT. I didn't come out untill I was 30 and am not out to my family (religious reasons). If more kids read what you just wrote, there would be less suicide and we all would be happier. Religion has really screwed us up on so many levels.
