Straight is Not Selfish!

[ManlyBanisters]

What if a partner enjoys moresomes - whose will will prevail?

Say he is happy to indulge your desire for triple penetration, wouldn't it be only fair to indulge his desire for two ladies at once, even with no inter female activity. Or would you be happy for him to indulge his pleasures elsewhere?

I know some women who rate themselves 100% straight and have done FMF for that reason and enjoyed it - certainly they spoke about in a positive way and didn't rule out doing it again.

I do think you get in to dangerous territory if you start saying I'll FMF for you if you MFM for me - because you are potentially asking someone to do something they are not comfortable with and that's never sexy. If a guy doesn't feel it is fair to MFM for his female partner without her FMF for him then he shouldn't MFM - if he wants to for his own reasons then that is different. But you can't 'buy' consent for a sexual act with another sexual act.

I'd like to MFM but my man would not be comfortable, I know that and I would not try talking him into doing it because it wouldn't be fun for ME if he couldn't enjoy it on some level. I'd also maybe like to FFM for my own reasons - he'd be OK with that and would enjoy it for his own reasons (unsurprising) - but neither of us would feel he owed me anything for that. That's not how sex should work. It should be about mutual pleasure.

If a guy does MMF/MFM because his woman has asked him to that's one thing. It does not imply consent to anything else. Likewise if a woman FMF/FFMs for her guy that's a seperate thing too. If a guy NEEDS FFM/FMF for sexual gratification then he needs to find a partner who's happy with that.

Yes - sex is give and take - but how can you be OK with trying to coerce your partner into something they are not turned on by? For me that's just not sexy.

The question of one partner going elsewhere to find gratification is a separate one. Some relationships can work that way, others cannot. Not wanting to make gender an issue I'll put it this way; if partner A cannot fully satisfy the sexual needs of partner B, but partner A's needs are met, then there is a problem but it does not automatically mean that partner B has the right to seek satisfaction elsewhere. They need to sit down and find a compromise that does work... if there is none then maybe the relationship can't work.

 

[Gillette]

Bugger it DW very time I try to give you the benift of the doubt you post crap like this.

It's not actually crap. I was going to post the same thing myself but he beat me to it. I will try to expand on it, though.

Being a man in a MFM threesome doesn't require that the men suck, fondle, kiss or penetrate each other. With NJ's double penetration idea both men are in her. In no way does it require that they be anything less than 100% heterosexual. Why should it be any different for a woman?

The idea of bringing an exra woman into the bed would be for the male to recieve double the female attention. It's not a given that it's for the "lesbian fantasy" scenario. Someone suggested recently the guy could wear a strap on facing backwards so he could service two women simultaneously. The women wouldn't even need to touch.

As far as I'm concerned the selfishness question has nothing whatsoever to do with sexual orientation and everything to do with an inability to share your partner's attentions.

In that regard, yes, the refusal to participate in a FMF while still being okay with MFM is selfish.

I don't share. That's selfishness on my part. It's just how I'm wired, I embrace it. I'm not going to pretend my orientation has anything to do with it.

This is arrogant bullshit at it's worst.
God forbid that any female partner of yours declare firm sexual boundaries.
And what then?
Dump her and move on to the next willing lass, after all there is just a surplus of females willing to throw themselves on their backs for an chance to bed you.
If a persons sexuality is 100% hetrosexual then that is what it is.
To try to push that when they don't want to be pushed and offering the ultimatum of going elsewhere if they don't sickens me to my stomach.

Umm, considering he's not looking for a LTR and is seeking different avenues of sexuality what else is he supposed to do if the answer to what he's looking for is a firm "No".

What would you do if you were in an LTR and your partner decided (not from physical limitations but a concious decision) he would no longer engage in sex with you? He might, however, still be willing to recieve blow jobs? I'd kick his ass to the curb in a heartbeat. Wouldn't you?

 

[Drifterwood]

I agree MB, most of what you are saying is in my blog - my point is actually about attitude and perhaps selfishness.

Do you have the attitude of pushing your personal boat out for the pleasure experience of your partner? I do. Some may say it means that I don't have standards, but I see it more as being completely open and not rigid in my pre definitions of what my sexuality is.

I'd also like to reiterate that fact that two women can be together with a man and have virtually no contact. This is different from the guy wanting to see his partner have sex with another woman. Personally I have no interest in that, but am happy to go with it if that is what the ladies want.

EDIT - we should cross little fingers and make a wish, Razors.

 

[D_Prudence_Admonition_Drightits]

I feel your pain NJ. Just look at me, I have been reduced to a cinnamon roll and bullshit gallery. Don't let them get you down.

I am 100% straight, I have no desire to be with another woman whatsoever.
So with that said I know my MFM is just a fantasy because I am not doing a FMF thing with my husband. Just can't stomach the thought.

You know what you like, you are a strong woman, and that can rub many men, in spite of their sexual preferences, the wrong way. Strong women in today's society still are sadly misunderstood- by both sexes.

Stay strong my sister.

 

[Ethyl]

It's not an issue if you've discussed it with your partner before embarking on a relationship and have mutually decided what you will or won't do.

For some women (and men) who don't want another participant of the same gender involved in their sexual scenarios, it's not a matter of disgust but potential jealousy. You have to make sure you can handle anything that might happen along the way. If you're afraid, then it's probably best for both parties to not delve into that area yet. This does mean, however, that the goose is indeed good for the gander. Don't ask your partner to participate in a threesome with you if you have no intention of reciprocating because of your jealousy issues.

 

[Ethyl]

DP, and not the right kind.

 

[D_Aston Asstonne]

At first yes; but not when they ganged up on me. I felt attacked. :frown1:

Forget those guys doll!They're just being childish.Nothing selfish about being straight.

 

[Sklar]

NJ: what you experienced is basically gay people flabergasted (I'm being nice with that) or gay people being bigoted against you (I'm NOT being nice on that one) because you don't agree with them and you stood your ground.

This is one of the reasons I have such disdain for a lot of gay people. It's the entire mentality of "If I do it then EVERYONE should do it. And be proud, ghirl!" *SNAP* SNAP*

A lot of the gay people I meet just don't seen to undersand that there are others out there that support the gay community, they just don't want to have anything to do with them sexually. It's all or nothing.

These are the ones that Bill O'rielly talks about as having an agenda.

I have dropped a lot of people (both gay and straight) who have confronted me with this attitude and, frankly, it has made my life a lot easier. While they have stayed in the same situation moaning and bemoaning on how life treats them terribly, I've been able to lift myself up to achieve things I've never have been able to if they were still in my social circle.

The best advice I can give you, NJ, is be successful in both your private life and work life. Nothing pisses off a bitter gay person than:

1) A successful straight person

2) A successful gay person

Your friend,

Sklar

 

[Ms.Teacher]

You're not being selfish but they are.

They're wanting you to do something you have no interest in doing. It's a male fantasy to be with two women. Maybe they've seen too much porn and assume all women are like that.

If these are just guys you chat with, I wouldn't bother with them anymore. I'm sure they can find someone else. And if you have no intention of meeting either one in person, then let it go.

 

[B_VinylBoy]

People in the middle have a hard time understanding why there would be people on the extremes. I think they come from a mentality where they used to believe that they were at one time 100% straight or gay. Then they were presented with a different situation that they enjoyed and came to grips with it.

I'm never the one to negatively judge someone just because they're all for the dick or just the coochie. I've had intimate relationships with a few women before, and I don't think the whole idea of being with a woman has completely escaped my sexual grasp. Although, I do know my preferences and I actively seek them out. Besides, I was never that good at licking the kitty, although I don't mind flexing my oral skills on the other side of the fence. I guess that makes me a 5, leaning on 4.8 or something.

 

[diamond]

Well I definitely would rate a 0 on that scale, and in no way do i desire to lick or taste pussy. If I wanted to taste pussy, I would taste my own.

So back to the question, NJ made.... well I certainly enjoy MFM or MMF however would never allow another woman in a threesome. Does that make me selfish, not at all, I am just stating what I like, the man has a choice in the matter to either participate or to fore go the experience.:biggrin1::biggrin1:

 

[B_Think_Kink]

I'm a 5 on that scale.

But cha... yeah it's not selfish, just stating facts.

 

[HazelGod]

A Jack Daniels bottle?

Now what the hell has John ever done to you to warrant such insult?!?

 

[naughty]

Now what the hell has John ever done to you to warrant such insult?!?

Where is that ROFLMAO icon? :biggrin1:

 

[teeny weeny]

I'm with you, NJ, I'm 0 Exclusively heterosexual

One time, about 15 years ago I had a dream about my best friend from high school that was mildly erotic. I told her and we all had a good laugh. I've never had a desire to feel what another womans breasts are like, or kiss a woman and ain't NO way I'd want to go down on a woman, no no no.

I want a big fat dick on a good lookin' man with a white toothy smile

couldn't agree more. i must be a three. i'll take the big fat dick on the good looking guy, and i'll put that smile on his face!

 

[Zuriel]

What if a partner enjoys moresomes - whose will will prevail?

Say he is happy to indulge your desire for triple penetration, wouldn't it be only fair to indulge his desire for two ladies at once, even with no inter female activity. Or would you be happy for him to indulge his pleasures elsewhere?

I am the same as OP. Though I have done as you have suggested, if my partner wishes an fmf then he is welcome to find 2 other willing partners. I prefer groups for this reason, everyone can find what they like.