Straight Man Insight Needed For Gay Guy

RYDERX

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Let’s be clear I am gay but unless I told you that in person you may not have guessed.

I have straight friends, I prefer them in a way because they are typically way less drama, however; it is hard to make friends I must admit I’m not the outgoing type.

When I do come across straight guys(we are talking under 30yo here by the way) I usually meet them through other people and hang out with them.

Over time they we get more comfortable with each other, they know well in advance I’m gay as I have a boyfriend. It always seems to be a sexual joke here a surprise flash of the butt or walking around in underwear really close to me(alpha moves) but then as soon as, and I’m talking almost immediately after they start drinking with me, something changes.

I hate saying this because it’s not my personality to toot ones own horn but it’s important for the context, I’m not ugly, I’m not gorgeous either I’m a standard attractive I guess for a guy who looks straight(as I’ve been told by many a straight man)

So in total I have had sexual encounters and chats with several straight guys. One was in high school as I noticed he had a big dick in the changing rooms and needed to at least try(big fan of giving head) eventually of course I invited over to see what would happen, we shared some common interests so it was easy, a random point as we were in my room watching TV he pulled the cover back(we had to share the bed) and he was in red briefs hard as a rock with that thick cock he had teased me with in the change rooms, instinctively I grabbed it and did what I needed to, which eventually lead to him fucking me, this happened twice more but those times he wanted me to fuck him, he had no lube or idea how it worked so it didn’t happen despite us trying.

Second time around this guy had a girlfriend, we drank, not a lot, just enough to have a buzz going, we went out to a party and came back, he went to the toilet(at least I thought) came back and had his dick swinging out(it was enormous) and he must have been on more than a buzz at that point surely.

He came close to me(again he knew I was gay) he came closer to me and starting kissing my neck, never had it done before as it was sort of an extra level of seduction I didn’t need but I could have killed to relive again, it instantly sent my mind into an overload and I rushed to my knees giving that cock a deep clean, I whispered in his ear “fuck me” he started grabbing my ass as I stood up, but something in me thought of his girlfriend and made it stop(believe me not fucking easy) he stated earlier in the night he would have both fucked me and liked to have been fucked by me which I thought was a strange joke.

Another best friend of mine which was so upset when I told him he was gay actually cried! Like I had died, I thought it was going to be my last chance to see him so I took the plunge and asked about giving him head, he agreed, again insanely lucky he had a massive cock, I made him cum but only the once, we chat on an extremely rare occasion but never talk about it.

Lastly a guy I knew was basically a giant, great body, muscles, deep voice, extreme alpha personality. Id seen him in his underwear a few times, again big bulge I felt sorry for the underwear being stretched. He talked dirty, openly and often with me, very casually, very open book type of guy which I appreciated. Big drinker though, more chatty the drunker he got but also more careless with his thoughts it seemed. He had a girlfriend at the time but we both got drunk one dark night sitting outside by a fire, he started talking lack of sex from his misses and me from my partner, he wanted to tell me more but via messages on my phone just in case anyone heard, the messages started to become highly sexual in nature and one message he sent was “I want you to dominate me” I laughed internally, I was thinking the same thing! but it never eventuated but I had a feeling it would have happened.

The question is, are any men or women for that matter 100% straight, I mean it’s a label we created for sexual and emotional preference right? If a very alpha, all things considered straight man has a girlfriend why would he choose to do shit with a gay guy? Curiosity? Is it a thrill seeker thing to try something new, at least two of these guys had done shit with other guys before I ever spoke to them and they were the most alpha personality and appearance of them. Any insight is appreciated and apologies for the story if it made anyone uncomfortable I think it’s important context for what I’m trying to understand.
 
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deleted1547822

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You're a man. You've been through puberty. Joe Rogan said "if you put a bunch of warm holes in the wall of my living room, at some point I'm going to stick my dick in one..."

First guy? Straight. You were a warm hole in a living room wall for a hormone filled high-schooler.
Second guy? Bi
Third guy? Not enough info. Straight-curious to bi maybe?

But I agree with "what's up with the labels". I don't care really. A straight guy is one who only wants to have sex with women. Drunk, curious, experimental encounters aren't some scarlet letter, forever removing the possibility of being "straight". The taboo just makes it more seductive for some. Those encounters can confirm "straightness" - or not. I've tried it. I only want to have sex with women. One woman, in fact. Pick your label for me, I don't care, but yes men or women can be 100% straight.
 
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RYDERX

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You're a man. You've been through puberty. Joe Rogan said "if you put a bunch of warm holes in the wall of my living room, at some point I'm going to stick my dick in one..."

First guy? Straight. You were a warm hole in a living room wall for a hormone filled high-schooler.
Second guy? Bi
Third guy? Not enough info. Straight-curious to bi maybe?

But I agree with "what's up with the labels". I don't care really. A straight guy is one who only wants to have sex with women. Drunk, curious, experimental encounters aren't some scarlet letter, forever removing the possibility of being "straight". The taboo just makes it more seductive for some. Those encounters can confirm "straightness" - or not. I've tried it. I only want to have sex with women. One woman, in fact. Pick your label for me, I don't care, but yes men or women can be 100% straight.
I would consider myself 100% gay but at the same time a woman’s body can sometimes seem…enticing strangely, probably just sick of the same type of body type I guess, never had sex with a woman though, have done foreplay when I was younger and still in what I would consider my bi-curious stage before I realized boys had something special about them that made them infinitely more attractive or perhaps just easier to understand.

thanks for your comments I had my ideas about what their sexuality was made up of buy now I’m starting to think just accept they did what they did and don’t over analyze their sexuality based on the experiences, perhaps sexuality like you say is a hole in the wall, a matter of convenience and least effort, coupled with a bit of the unknown and nervous excitement, always leads to soul rattling orgasms so makes sense to me. Thanks for your insight!
 
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Frozen Heart

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I hate this "alpha" thing, but I hate even more ppl who think they are "beta". It is so ridiculous. If you are a child and you are facing a bully twice your size or if you were a shy teenager, I would understand it, but a grown man talking about alpha and beta men? I just want to tell those ppl to create some some self-respect. No one is better than anyone.

Yes, there are 100% straight ppl. And if a guy has sexual encounters with other men, he is not straight.
 
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RYDERX

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I hate this "alpha" thing, but I hate even more ppl who think they are "beta". It is so ridiculous. If you are a child and you are facing a bully twice your size or if you were a shy teenager, I would understand it, but a grown man talking about alpha and beta men? I just want to tell those ppl to create some some self-respect. No one is better than anyone.

Yes, there are 100% straight ppl. And if a guy has sexual encounters with other men, he is not straight.
I do not believe in a simple distinction of alpha and beta, I only observed in alpha traits which can be seen in all men but in the circumstances I’m taking about my own experiences I saw this. Im sorry if you feel victimized by anything I said, this was not the intention.
 
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Yes, there are 100% straight ppl. And if a guy has sexual encounters with other men, he is not straight.

Drunk frat boy lets his gay friend blow him. Regrets it and never does anything "gay" again. Is he forever labeled as "not straight"? Frankly, if said frat boy is in between girlfriends or struck out at the bar and uses gay friend's blowjobs as some occasional release - basically a living interactive fleshlight or just something better than Joe Rogan's warm hole in the wall* - I'm ok with the label "straight". Actively seeking out sex with men in general is another story.

Left to our baser nature, we will put our dicks in just about anything. Beergoogles is a term for a reason, but we all know the alcohol isn't necessary depending on the level of sexual frustration.

--edit--
* I'm sure some might be offended by my characterization. Let's be honest though, men will jump through whatever hoops required to have something better than masturbation. Generally, it's with women and we are quite capable of telling whatever lie or doing whatever act is necessary in order to satisfy a many million year old biological drive.

We have a lot of metaphors. "Beergoogles" mentioned earlier, or "moped". They're fun to ride, but you don't want your friends to know. All describing the ways we'll stoop to satisfy that drive, and we haven't even got into the kink and fetish; and the shit guys get arrested for.

So if you're gay, know that's the risk you take with these "straight" fantasies and questions. Maybe he's gay and just needs you to awaken it. More likely you're making yourself a moped for a frustrated straight guy.
 
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RYDERX

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Drunk frat boy lets his gay friend blow him. Regrets it and never does anything "gay" again. Is he forever labeled as "not straight"? Frankly, if said frat boy is in between girlfriends or struck out at the bar and uses gay friend's blowjobs as some occasional release - basically a living interactive fleshlight or just something better than Joe Rogan's warm hole in the wall* - I'm ok with the label "straight". Actively seeking out sex with men in general is another story.

Left to our baser nature, we will put our dicks in just about anything. Beergoogles is a term for a reason, but we all know the alcohol isn't necessary depending on the level of sexual frustration.

--edit--
* I'm sure some might be offended by my characterization. Let's be honest though, men will jump through whatever hoops required to have something better than masturbation. Generally, it's with women and we are quite capable of telling whatever lie or doing whatever act is necessary in order to satisfy a many million year old biological drive.

We have a lot of metaphors. "Beergoogles" mentioned earlier, or "moped". They're fun to ride, but you don't want your friends to know. All describing the ways we'll stoop to satisfy that drive, and we haven't even got into the kink and fetish; and the shit guys get arrested for.

So if you're gay, know that's the risk you take with these "straight" fantasies and questions. Maybe he's gay and just needs you to awaken it. More likely you're making yourself a moped for a frustrated straight guy.
Whilst it’s not the nicest thing to be compared to just another hole to fuck for convenience but I understand what you are saying, it’s our nature to seek things that make us feel good and more convenient the better of course, I’m getting what I asked for so thank you to all who are involved it’s helping me get a better understanding or more thoughts on the subject as a whole…I got lost in the conversation and potentially offended people so I’m sorry. Men are just fascinating, I guess it’s akin to trying to understand reasons for a woman’s actions and how to better understand them, respect them and find out why things you considered once to be more like fantasy actually happening but after knowing some reasons or drives behind the actions why it happened and what your role was in it.
 
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Whilst it’s not the nicest thing to be compared to just another hole to fuck for convenience but I understand what you are saying, it’s our nature to seek things that make us feel good and more convenient the better of course, I’m getting what I asked for so thank you to all who are involved it’s helping me get a better understanding or more thoughts on the subject as a whole…I got lost in the conversation and potentially offended people so I’m sorry. Men are just fascinating, I guess it’s akin to trying to understand reasons for a woman’s actions and how to better understand them, respect them and find out why things you considered once to be more like fantasy actually happening but after knowing some reasons or drives behind the actions why it happened and what your role was in it.

I'm confused why you say men are just fascinating. I was under the impression you were a man, given "I’m gay as I have a boyfriend" works out that way when you do the math. Did you mean straight men?

Anyway, I always recommend A Billion Wicked Thoughts for insight into these types of "how do they think, what are their sexual cues, etc..." questions.
 
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I’ve always considered myself 100pc str8. Have gay and bi friends and even went on overseas holiday with one to SE Asia. We partied like crazy, he fucked guys, I fucked the local girls. A friend’s a friend.
 
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RYDERX

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I'm confused why you say men are just fascinating. I was under the impression you were a man, given "I’m gay as I have a boyfriend" works out that way when you do the math. Did you mean straight men?

Anyway, I always recommend A Billion Wicked Thoughts for insight into these types of "how do they think, what are their sexual cues, etc..." questions.
Yes sorry specifically straight men as I often wished to be straight when I was younger and felt the distinction between gay and straight men to be odd and fascinating. I am a gay man just to clarify.

thanks for the recommendation I will look into it!
 

RYDERX

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I’ve always considered myself 100pc str8. Have gay and bi friends and even went on overseas holiday with one to SE Asia. We partied like crazy, he fucked guys, I fucked the local girls. A friend’s a friend.
I would love to have more friendships like that but sadly I’m an introvert who never knew how to make friends to save his life.
 
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