Straight married men having gay sex?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by BIGdkluver, Mar 10, 2006.

  1. Matthew

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    I've slept with 2 guys who I believe were actually straight. They were guys I had good, fun friendships with who, I guess, felt a special attraction to me and wanted to experiment. Both times it was kinda awkward. I thought they were more into the idea of what they were doing.

    Their have been some others who said they were straight, or curious, or whatever, but obviously were gay/bi.

    I do often wonder if there is a large number of straight guys who would be getting their dick sucked by gay men, if there weren't all the social baggage.
     
  2. madame_zora

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    I think in a lot of cases "a stiff dick has no conscience" applies. I think there are a lot of men who identify as being straight who would get their dick suked by a guy, or more, if the right circumstances presented themselves and the social stygma wasn't what it is. Not all, but more than what do. I also think a lot of those who do would be less hateful to gays because they need to cover up their own feelings, but that's just my take.

    Seriously, most homophobes I know are doing exactly that.
     
  3. beyondhelpin

    beyondhelpin New Member

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    Take this however you want.

    I am married to a beautiful woman. She has a body that can still give me a hardon just thinking about her. I am 46 and she is 44. Looks 30 with 34D-23-34 body. I am starting to get a chubby just thinking as I am typing.

    Now for the wierd part. I have hooked up with several guys who are very well endowed. Its has been a couple of years since I have done this. I dont know why but I have a thing for extremly well endowed guys. Normal everyday guys do nothing for me.

    I will pick a woman over a man 100% of the time. When I am surfing porn I always surf for the hot girl but will stop for the big unit on a guy. Cant remember ever checking out a guy package in a bathroom or thru his jeans. But still I have on occasion sought out a very well endowed man through hook up lines. Call it what you want but I feel right or wrong that I am a straight guy who has a fetish for the big boys.:eek:
     
  4. B_RoysToy

    B_RoysToy New Member

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    I've found that the chubby goes with the territory, beyondhelpin, whether str8 or gay. There seems to be something about sitting in front of the pc and getting a hardon, especially if all alone and free to give it attention now and then. BTW, in addition to keeping your wife happy, do you enjoy masturbating yourself and, if so, how often?
     
  5. EnglishGentleman

    EnglishGentleman New Member

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    I mean no disrespect here, because for me sexuality of any sort is not a subject of ridicule or stigma, but you illustrate here the point I made earlier perfectly. I don't see how a man who usually goes for women but indulges in occasional gay sex can define their sexuality as heterosexual.

    One can't call oneself a non-smoker if you have the occasional cigar, or a vegetarian if you have the odd MacDonalds. By my own personal definition, a primarily straight man who dreams of, and especially one who indulges in gay sex is bisexual.
     
  6. beyondhelpin

    beyondhelpin New Member

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    Yes and probally way to much. Usally have to have a nut 2-3 times a day.
     
  7. Sergeant_Torpedo

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    :eek: The technical term I believe is nit picking. People define themselves.
     
  8. beyondhelpin

    beyondhelpin New Member

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    So what you are saying is suck one d**k and your queer for life?!

    If a pilot drives a car is he not still a pilot?
    Is a farmer who works part time at another job is he not still a farmer?

    I am just stating what I personaly feel I am. Other people may see it differently. I am a very masculine man . Zero feminine traits. I guess I could see how you could make an argument that I am not 100% hetro though. :eek:

    We hang with people who are in their 30s and 20s. For the most part, the girls are smoking hot. The only reason I bring this up is my wife and and the girls, every once and a while, get to playing around light kissing and playing a little grab ass and boob mashing when we have been partying and dancing. This is more commom with the younger set than my age group. This is more for the guys than anything but they have fun to. There has never been a hook up with any of them, nor do I suspect there ever will be. Are they bisexual? I dont think so. Others may see it diffently.

    Dont sweat it EGent. The first part of this post I am just playing with ya!:biggrin1:

    PS I have friends who are non smokers who will smoke a cigarette after partying once or twice a year. They and everyone else considers them non smokers!
     
  9. EnglishGentleman

    EnglishGentleman New Member

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    In that case congratulations!

    You've just nit-picked a nit-picker!

    "The fool who follows may bask in the glow of complicity, yet cowers in the shadow of free thought"

    or put more simply

    "Who's more foolish? The fool or the fool who follows him?"
     
  10. EnglishGentleman

    EnglishGentleman New Member

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    Well put beyond....

    My involvement in this debate reflects my concern that people such as we on this board should not perpetuate the stigma surrounding sexuality. If an, albeit "slightly", bi guy such as yourself were to vehemently defend his heterosexuality when clearly the line is blurred, it serves to strengthen the bastions of prejudice. The apparent offence in such a defence makes a clear implication that there is shame involved in the admission of one's non-adherence to the accepted norm.

    We here should be breaking down such barriers, not making them stronger, and I hope more people who straddle both sides of the fence will be able to stand proud and admit it, rather than hide behind a veil of "respectability".

    The part of your post I have highlighted above is one which helps to represent the progress open minded people can make towards destroying the shameful marginalisation of homosexuality and bisexuality that persists worldwide.
     
  11. Lex

    Lex
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    The issue is that sexuality simply does not lend itself to dichotimous and/or all/nothing constructs like Straight-Gay. Constructs such as the Kinsey Scale are much more encompassing as they allow for a more accurate representation of the spectrum of experiences that a person may have while also reflecting their behavior and preferences (past and/or current).

    Masculinity is not the province of the heterosexual male, nor is femininity the province of the heterosexual female. Our social constructs and dogma tell us to believe so because it is much less unsettling to think the guy switching is gay and the construction worker is straight, then to think the opposite. Not for what is says about THEM, but for what is says about US.

    When people think heterosexual--they think masculine. When they hear homosexual--they think feminine. THAT is the issue here. When "straight" guys who have same sex experiences reject the term "gay" they are really rejecting the "negative" stereotypes that are associated with the word. I don't think that is, in and of itself, a bad thing.

    When I say BI--I am referring to my capacity to enter into deep, emotional, meaningful realtionships with both men AND women, regardless of whether we have sex or not. The construct is the problem, not the people.
     
  12. VinceNYC

    VinceNYC New Member

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    I wish you the best of luck, but I have a VERY hard time believing your wife is happy. There's no way for me to know, so I'm just opining here, and I don't want it to sound like an attack. However, there's only one person in this equation who is getting his needs (or desires) met, and it ain't your wife. In fact, I think this has the potential to be a very hurtful, life-changing event for her.

    Anyhow, as I said, I have no way of knowing, so I would just hope that you realize that what your wife says and what she really feels may be two different things.

    Anyone on the board have this experience from the woman's perspective?
     
  13. VinceNYC

    VinceNYC New Member

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    Ugh. It's human nature to try to clasify and explain everything so that we can boil all of humanity down to easily identifiable bits and bytes. Although I've never been able to relate, in some ways group-think provides comfort for people because they know they aren't alone in the world and/or that there's nothing wrong with them. Personally, I prefer to be me. I don't care what group you want to throw me into, I'm just me.

    A guy who has sucked one dick in his life is--(drum roll please)--a guy who has sucked one dick in his life. A guy who regularly sucks dick in the bathroom at Macy's and then goes home to his wife is a guy who sucks dick in bathrooms and goes home to his wife. Do we really need to know more, i.e. where he's at on the Kinsey scale? It's a wierd part of our socialization that causes us to look to bond with people based on applicable labels. I don't get it.
     
  14. Lex

    Lex
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    A lot of people have a hard time conceptualizing that any of us (me, her, him) can be happy. Their inability to conceptualize my truths and my path makes it no less mine and no less true. Her being happy and this being easy are not the same thing.

    Click here for my thoughts and response to the "having cake and eating it too" points.
     
  15. windtalkerways

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    <<I am just stating what I personaly feel I am. Other people may see it differently. I am a very masculine man . Zero feminine traits. I guess I could see how you could make an argument that I am not 100% hetro though. :eek: >>
    (Snipped from beyond's reply)


    Seeing yourself as "masculine" and not "feminine" at all has NOTHING to do with this.

    There are VERY masculine men on this board who are 100% gay.
     
  16. D_alex8

    D_alex8 Member

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    Yeah, look at me! :rolleyes:

    ...no, hang on, look at Lex instead! :wink:
     
  17. windtalkerways

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    Oh...I have looked at you!:biggrin1:
     
  18. novice_btm

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    Well, like i said in another thread... People always jump from the fact that you've tried it once, to having it be your entire orientation. I've tried brussel sprouts. It doesn't make me an all out vegetarian. It doesn't even mean that I liked them! On the other hand... the cucumbers in the produce section have caught my eye once or twice. :tongue:
     
  19. VinceNYC

    VinceNYC New Member

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    Yeah, I got it. You, you, you. I understand. I don't think you will ever understand what it's like to have the rug pulled out from under you i.e. when your husband comes to you and tells you he has a boyfriend and wants to explore his sexuality.

    Please just remember that while you are exploring all this new stuff about YOU, you are taking along someone who did not sign on for this. And again, she may not be able to articulate her feelings, and/or may be afraid of being alone/losing you, etc. Just because she tells you it's OK does not make it so. This is very complicated, and the emotions for the person who is NOT in control are very complex.
     
  20. Chuck64

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    Lex knows his wife better than you do, and it's their (very complicated, by most standards) relationship to work through - not yours. They were married for years before any of this came up. I'm sure he can read her well enough to know if there was a hint of dissatisfaction.
     
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