Straight men, gay internet fantasies?

[Matthew]

once again I am hampered by having to couch things in the available terminology, which ironically means that my question almost dissolves its form in the context of this debate wherein all sexual identies' fluidity is the very key to the discussion.

Haha, poststructuralism can be a pain in the ass, but in the form of "queer theory," I think it's a useful tool in exposing the arbitrary constructions that we use to categorize sexuality.

Now this is really an interesting question:

One of the questions which intrigues me a lot as well is: how much will the fluidity of online sexuality impact on real-world sexuality over time?

As just one example, Stronzo's online buddy wouldn't have to move too far to be able to do what he does in the same room with a gay man. And from there ... ? IMO, his "sexual orientation" wouldn't really be changing at all.

 

[B_Stronzo]

I'm not sure if it's my age or my interests, but I've been more pulled in by how guys relate to each other emotionally than just sexually. Since I've been on this site I've talked with many guys about how I'd like to form loving friendhships with others as a straight male. For me the "Large Penis" part of this site is a way for me to discover what there is about us males that keeps us apart emotionally or maybe what brings us together. So while the whole thing about big cocks may be erotic or stimulating, I find what keeps bringing me back to this site is the deeper connection with the men here, which I don't have that much in my college life. As a straight guy I'm more interested in the size of the hearts of people here than I am in the size of their cocks. :smile:

My HUMBLEST apologies HSB-

Only going back over this thread did I notice you'd left this post. I cannot tell you how your candor and perspective gives me a real, real sense of optimism.

I only wish I'd had your vision at twenty. Kindly share your take with all your friends of similar age and similar sexual orientation! You'll be doing the world an invaluable service.

As the Italians say "ben fatto!" (well done!) :smile:

 

[B_HungSpermBoy]

My HUMBLEST apologies HSB-

Only going back over this thread did I notice you'd left this post. I cannot tell you how your candor and perspective gives me a real, real sense of optimism.

I only wish I'd had your visition at twenty. Kindly share your take with all your friends of similar age and similar sexual orientation! You'll be doing the world an invaluable service.

As the Italians say "ben fatto!" (well done!) :smile:

Stronzo, thanx for the nice words. BTW my best friend in the world is an italian guy, & his family are like my second family. I think they've helped me to be a more caring & affectionate person. :smile:

 

[GuyanaPrince]

It's just not right to turn human beings into sexual experiments for your own exploration - I don't care how married and respectable you think you are. Unless you've got a naked guy in your bed screaming, "USE ME, PLEASE! I WANT TO BE AN EXPERIMENT!", you're probably screwing around with someone's feelings.

It's just wrong. My two cents.

 

[D_alex8]

Unless you've got a naked guy in your bed screaming, "USE ME, PLEASE! I WANT TO BE AN EXPERIMENT!", you're probably screwing around with someone's feelings.

I'm not sure I would want to condemn two (or more) consenting adults who are both aware of the nature and limits of online sexual interaction. In the context of this thread, I think that in a "gay"/"straight" interaction, both parties are experimenting and gaining a new experience.

Of course, there are exceptions where someone may be deliberately deceitful and 'lead the other guy on' ... but that again falls into the realm of self-effacing fakers rather than self-enhancing experimenters in my book.

 

[GuyanaPrince]

Agreed. However, in such a situation the use is mutual and healthy, in my opinion.

The article mentioned at the beginning of the this thread gave me the impression that these str8 men cruising gay sites were doing this in secret. Even with women, this sort of deception is not conducive to healthy experiences. Someone usually winds up getting screwed..and not in a good way.

 

[jeff black]

I'm not sure I would want to condemn two (or more) consenting adults who are both aware of the nature and limits of online sexual interaction. In the context of this thread, I think that in a "gay"/"straight" interaction, both parties are experimenting and gaining a new experience.

Of course, there are exceptions where someone may be deliberately deceitful and 'lead the other guy on' ... but that again falls into the realm of self-effacing fakers rather than self-enhancing experimenters in my book.

I would have to say I agree Alex. Straight guys are learning the "Way of the Gay" so to speak. (copyright Jeff Black 2006)

IN addition, the other thing about the internet as apposed to real life, is the lack of commitment. Alex spoke of "leading a guy on", but people may need to understand that the internet has no commitments when it comes to cyber-chatting. People are using each other for pleasure, conversation and the occasional friendship, depending on how things work out.

With no commitment, or fears of being condemed, "straight" guys who are curious get the chance to explore.

It's not my mentality, but I have met a few guys on here, who just wanted to "fuck around" on the net, and made it quite clear to me that they wouldn't want to meet.

Either way, it's still a great topic.

 

[Matthew]

Let's go deeper.

For some men, including many straight guys, an aspect of their sexuality isn't oriented toward another person (male or female), but is oriented toward themselves and their own cock. This explains all sorts of stuff, including straight guys who want only female partners but also frequent the internet looking for guys to worship their cock, who will kick back for oral service from guys with no strings attached, who get off on watching themselves jack off in the mirror, etc. ad infinitum. Are they still straight? With the limited sexual vocabulary available to us, I'd say yes.

Obviously, much more could be said about this ...

 

[windtalkerways]

I dunno...I think there are guys who are
into cock worship...of their own of course,
who would never consider a man's lips on it.

How do I know...because I've spoken to
straight men who think this way. There are
many gradations of sexuality but to me a
guy who deems it within his realm to allow
another male to fellate him is not 100% straight.

 

[B_Stronzo]

Let's go deeper.

For some men, including many straight guys, an aspect of their sexuality isn't oriented toward another person (male or female), but is oriented toward themselves and their own cock. This explains all sorts of stuff, including straight guys who want only female partners but also frequent the internet looking for guys to worship their cock, who will kick back for oral service from guys with no strings attached, who get off on watching themselves jack off in the mirror, etc. ad infinitum. Are they still straight? With the limited sexual vocabulary available to us, I'd say yes.

Obviously, much more could be said about this ...

Matthew's contention, verbatim, mirrors my own legitimate experience as I've previously outlined in earlier posts.

 

[Lex]

I dunno...I think there are guys who are
into cock worship...of their own of course,
who would never consider a man's lips on it.

How do I know...because I've spoken to
straight men who think this way. There are
many gradations of sexuality but to me a
guy who deems it within his realm to allow
another male to fellate him is not 100% straight.

Kinsey would say that if a man can find another man attractive (handsome, cute, whatever), if he could admire another man physically, then that man is not 100% straight. Kinsey would further go on to say that there are VERY few 0's or 6's in the world. Food for thought.

0- Exclusively heterosexual with no homosexual
1- Predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual
2- Predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual
3- Equally heterosexual and homosexual
4- Predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual
5- Predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual
6- Exclusively homosexual

 

[windtalkerways]

I've had no luck finding this Lex...can
you point me to an article please?

 

[Lex]

I have read paper versions of some of his work which is harder to find online that not.

Here is some more:

Kinsey suggested that it is necessary to consider a variety of activities in assessing an individual's ranking on the continuum:fantasies, thoughts, dreams, emotional feelings, and frequency of sexual activity.

Therefore, many "heterosexuals," in fact, would fall somewhere between numbers 0-3 because they occasionally think/dream/fantasize about sexual activities with members of the same sex and/or occasionally act on these feelings.

Also, the Alfred Kinsey Wikipedia entry.

WTW--I know his work really challenges your desire to find and partner with a 100% straight man. i admire your digging to find out more. I personally believe that a man who has all the qualities that most women say they want, would not be a 0. The modern man has to truly be in touch with his "feminine" side, so to speak, to truly partner with a woman on all levels.

My 10 cents.

 

[Matthew]

I dunno...I think there are guys who are
into cock worship...of their own of course,
who would never consider a man's lips on it.

How do I know...because I've spoken to
straight men who think this way. There are
many gradations of sexuality

This is actually the point I was trying to make. Some would consider it, others wouldn't. There are gradations. So at what point is he still straight, at what point is he bi, and at what point do we say that our descriptive system is fundamentally inadequate?

but to me a
guy who deems it within his realm to allow
another male to fellate him is not 100% straight.

I'm sure you're not the only one who would choose to draw the line there, but to me it's just another arbitrary boundary. For example, a guy pops in a straight porn and allows another guy (who could be anyone, really) to service him ... I believe this can and does happen without any change in that straight guy's exclusive attraction to women.

 

[windtalkerways]

I suppose Matthew that we would have
to have a guy or two or three who consider
themselves 100%, to answer this. I am only
relaying what has been said to me in
conversations.

 

[windtalkerways]

Well, I would say that unless a person
goes through life with blinders on, it is
difficult not to see a person of the same
sex and register where they are on the
scale of comeliness.

This is in my opinion does not mean that
the person judging would want to ever
consider anyting of a sexual nature. I
find it a trifle silly that in order to rate a
zero on kinsey's scale you have to be a
robot.

 

[Lex]

I know a lot of straight men claim that they "can't judge if a guy is good looking or not" and I know a lot of gay men who equate looking at women akin to looking at someone through stained glass.

Parhaps the straight guys who really DON'T See men as even remotely admireable and the gay men who see women that was are our 0's and 6's.

Who knows for certain?

The other key would be is there a such thing as a 0 for a WOMAN on the scale? Most women are socialized to admire and express desire/admiration for the looks of other women. It's different for men, it seems.

 

[BigPoppaFury]

I don't have much to say that hasn't been said in this thread already, but I have to say it makes no real sense to me to pretend to be a straight man online, in an accepting environment such as this one especially, when you're only going to persue gay fantasies. Perhaps it's just denial of your own feelings, a hope that if you go that step further you'll be safely repulsed by the fantasies you've had. I've had supposedly straight guys message me here seemingly enchanted by my cock who use language that all but straight up tells me they're thinking about it sexually.

I find it flattering if someone gets off thinking about fucking me, it's a huge ego boost and it puts me in a good mood but it does nothing for me sexually unless it's a woman. When I see the other guys photos of their cocks on this site I usually just laugh at the proportions, some of you people have genitalia like they do in manga. I guess the only other thing that I find interesting about coming to this site is that I don't have any gay friends in real life (at least that I know of) and so the amount of conversations I've had with gay people have been massively limited. It truly suprised me to read of one of you only had ONE straight guy among many that turned down the opportunity to get head from you. Honestly that shocked me. I guess I'm pretty much off topic here, but like I said there's not much original content I could have bought to the table except personal experience.

 

[Altairion]

I know a lot of gay men who equate looking at women akin to looking at someone through stained glass.

Heh, my best friend is like that. He's the type that's afraid of "womanly parts." While I still hold the belief that no one is truly 100% either way, people like this are definitely right around the 99.9% range.

Matthew, I think you're right about the situation of a straight guy popping in a porn and letting another guy do the work. The straight guy can still be nearly 100% straight as he's only attracted to women. Of course to me if it would be a regular or premeditated thing, then my mind would start to ease off of it being an event to get off/satisfying a random curiousity. Instead it would lean more towards having a sexual meaning.

 

[D_Elijah_MorganWood]

While I still hold the belief that no one is truly 100% either way, people like this are definitely right around the 99.9% range.

(tries to picture BBB2.5 eating pussy)