Straight men, gay internet fantasies?

GoneA

Sexy Member
Joined
Sep 12, 2005
Posts
5,020
Media
0
Likes
38
Points
268
yes, i think the trouble here is my wording - i was using the word 'inadequate' in two different contexts. the point i was trying to make was our sexual designations generally fall into three classifications: gay, straight, and bisexual. and those terms are just fine as there are solidly straight, gay and bisexual people. however, those terms become inadequate when people refuse to see beyond them.
 

D_alex8

Member
Joined
Dec 15, 2005
Posts
8,055
Media
0
Likes
1,380
Points
208
Location
Germany
Sexuality
90% Gay, 10% Straight
Gender
Male
GoneA said:
yes, i think the trouble here is my wording - i was using the word 'inadequate' in two different contexts. the point i was trying to make was our sexual designations generally fall into three classifications: gay, straight, and bisexual. and those terms are just fine as there are solidly straight, gay and bisexual people. however, those terms become inadequate when people refuse to see beyond them.

I still think that you're over-simplifying the issue. "Solidly straight, gay and bisexual people" are every bit as much social constructs as the categories used to designate them.
 

Chuck64

Experimental Member
Gold
Platinum Gold
Joined
Jan 23, 2006
Posts
1,578
Media
0
Likes
13
Points
508
Location
Rural Texas
Sexuality
100% Gay, 0% Straight
Gender
Male
GoneA said:
however, those terms become inadequate when people refuse to see beyond them.

Not to mention the fact that it's much more difficult to serve up a degrading joke about "Kinsey 5" than "fag."
 

Lex

Expert Member
Joined
Jun 11, 2004
Posts
8,253
Media
0
Likes
118
Points
268
Location
In Your Darkest Thoughts and Dreams
Sexuality
99% Gay, 1% Straight
Gender
Male
windtalkerways said:
Of course there is a 0 for women, the
same as there is for men! There is
absolutely nothing in females that
attracts me sexually.
WTW--my restatement of my question was not meant as a direct jab at you (I want to be clear). I wanted to discuss the impact of the following sequence really. That is:
  1. If a person who can appreciate another's physical features, etc. is NOT a zero,
  2. and women are socialized that it is OK to do so (admire each other)
  3. Can there BE a 0 who is a woman on the kinsey scale?
There have been some studies (on men IIRC) that explored the arousal levels of hetero- and homosexual men when shown different pictures/images.

The scientists used technological devices to monitor the bio-physical signs of attraction/arousal. In a lot of cases, what a person said (I.e., "I am not attracted to X") and what their bodies DID were not the same.
 

madame_zora

Sexy Member
Joined
May 5, 2004
Posts
9,608
Media
0
Likes
52
Points
258
Location
Ohio
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
BigPoppaFury said:
I don't have much to say that hasn't been said in this thread already, but I have to say it makes no real sense to me to pretend to be a straight man online, in an accepting environment such as this one especially, when you're only going to persue gay fantasies. Perhaps it's just denial of your own feelings, a hope that if you go that step further you'll be safely repulsed by the fantasies you've had. I've had supposedly straight guys message me here seemingly enchanted by my cock who use language that all but straight up tells me they're thinking about it sexually.

I find it flattering if someone gets off thinking about fucking me, it's a huge ego boost and it puts me in a good mood but it does nothing for me sexually unless it's a woman. When I see the other guys photos of their cocks on this site I usually just laugh at the proportions, some of you people have genitalia like they do in manga. I guess the only other thing that I find interesting about coming to this site is that I don't have any gay friends in real life (at least that I know of) and so the amount of conversations I've had with gay people have been massively limited. It truly suprised me to read of one of you only had ONE straight guy among many that turned down the opportunity to get head from you. Honestly that shocked me. I guess I'm pretty much off topic here, but like I said there's not much original content I could have bought to the table except personal experience.

Funny, I was talking with Sorcerer tonight about "situational homosexuality". There are some guys who may be Kinsey 2 thru 5s that given the right set of circumstances or enough beer would go to a certain level with another guy to get off. This doesn't necessarily change their preference, just the opportunity. It's no wonder that someone who is actually 100% hetero would find that surprising.

Don't mind Stronzo, he's our resident heterophobe.
 

B_Hung Muscle

Expert Member
Joined
Sep 16, 2004
Posts
3,025
Media
0
Likes
111
Points
193
Age
56
Location
NYC but never stop traveling
Sexuality
99% Gay, 1% Straight
Gender
Male
Very cool thread.

Stronz, I totally love you but I do think that there are straight guys who look at cocks and find them amusing. BigPoppa's experience with our gallery would be similar to mine if I look at a bunch of pussy pics. Kinda funny. Kinda clinical. And way icky.

I guess I am all gay (sorry, Altairon). I've never been compelled -- here in the anonymity of the Internet -- to hit on women, flirt with them, pull them into fleshpiles, get off with them on cam, etc. I could use some heteroflexibility.
 

D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

Account Disabled
Joined
Apr 5, 2006
Posts
5,331
Media
0
Likes
70
Points
193
I kinda feel sorry for men when it comes to sexuality, i mean now its nothing for a woman to try a lesbian sex but for men the stereotype of 'what a real man is' is so strong than many guys feel they cant explore their gay side even if they would like to, so i guess the internet is a safe and annonomus way for them to let out a few of those intrests and fantasies
 

B_Stronzo

Expert Member
Joined
Dec 29, 2005
Posts
4,588
Media
0
Likes
134
Points
183
Location
Plimoth Plantation
Sexuality
No Response
Gender
Male
madame_zora said:
Don't mind Stronzo, he's our resident heterophobe.

And don't mind zora she's our resident Stronzophobe. :rolleyes:

And you've pegged me wrong MZ. I love EG and he's about the straightest dude in here. I'm simply "phobic" about dudes that come in here and make blanket statements apparently knocking the size, and beauty of the dick pix posted by many members... flexing their "I'm he-man hear me roar" muscles (figuratively speaking of course).

I think it's low blow (pun intended) and his reaction to the straight males and bisexual female phenomenon speaks volumes. Let's simply call me a "jerkophobe":cool:
 

B_Stronzo

Expert Member
Joined
Dec 29, 2005
Posts
4,588
Media
0
Likes
134
Points
183
Location
Plimoth Plantation
Sexuality
No Response
Gender
Male
windtalkerways said:
No matter how many labels or categories
are devised, they hold no water if people
refuse to be totally honest about who they
are.

To date, The above-quoted post is the most profound yet written on this thread.

LEE M said:
kinda feel sorry for men when it comes to sexuality, i mean now its nothing for a woman to try a lesbian sex but for men the stereotype of 'what a real man is' is so strong than many guys feel they cant explore their gay side even if they would like to, so i guess the internet is a safe and annonomus way for them to let out a few of those intrests and fantasies

I suspect there a women board members who'd take exception to your contention that 'it takes nothing for a woman to try lesbian sex'. And don't feel sorry for all of us men. Some of us have no trouble realizing that preposterous myth for what it is (previously referenced by one poster; 'be a man'):rolleyes: :cool:
 

b.c.

Worshipped Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Nov 7, 2005
Posts
20,540
Media
0
Likes
21,784
Points
468
Location
at home
Verification
View
Gender
Male
Lee_M said:
I kinda feel sorry for men when it comes to sexuality, i mean now its nothing for a woman to try a lesbian sex but for men the stereotype of 'what a real man is' is so strong than many guys feel they cant explore their gay side even if they would like to, so i guess the internet is a safe and annonomus way for them to let out a few of those intrests and fantasies

Well, there's "the rub". In our culture it seems that women can do or say something not quite "straight" and not have many questions raised as to their sexual preferences, whereas men cannot. There seems to be a need, perhaps an obsession, to categorize and classify a guy's sexuality (why, I do not know). Hence the origin of the question in the first place, i guess.

I can't count the number of times guys on here have made a statement or have said something that sounded contrary to their indicated "sexual preference", only to have someone else follow-up with a quip like, "Well, there goes that 1,%" etc. Why??

That's why i say, best to have no classification at all. Whose business is it anyway? That way, one need not offer (or have to deal with requests for) explanations.
 

windtalkerways

Experimental Member
Joined
Feb 6, 2006
Posts
2,057
Media
0
Likes
12
Points
183
Location
Canada
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Female
b.c. said:
Well, there's "the rub". In our culture it seems that women can do or say something not quite "straight" and not have many questions raised as to their sexual preferences, whereas men cannot. There seems to be a need, perhaps an obsession, to categorize and classify a guy's sexuality (why, I do not know). Hence the origin of the question in the first place, i guess.

I can't count the number of times guys on here have made a statement or have said something that sounded contrary to their indicated "sexual preference", only to have someone else follow-up with a quip like, "Well, there goes that 1,%" etc. Why??

That's why i say, best to have no classification at all. Whose business is it anyway? That way, one need not offer (or have to deal with requests for) explanations.

Good point, B.C.

Take the simple fact that women wear
pants...it was looked at askance by many
in the beginning but now it is widespread,
yet other than the traditional kilt, if a man
wore a skirt people would look at him as if
he were crazy.

Yet, men wore long hair and tunics, as did
women way back when. And throughout
history, men often adorned themselves in
as ornate a manner as women. It slowly
evolved somehow that men should not be
so 'vain' and now it's taken a fair amount
of time for the pendulum but I think it's
slowly swinging the other direction again
and why not?

Men deserve to take pride in their
appearance. They say toiletries
et al, for men is a booming business
now and I say kudos!
 

ledroit

Sexy Member
Joined
Oct 16, 2005
Posts
809
Media
1
Likes
58
Points
248
Sexuality
90% Gay, 10% Straight
Gender
Male
This thread & the topic are great. But “labels” or identities only point you to the top of a bell curve. They can tell you as much about sexuality as “100” tells you about the average IQ.

I think the reason sexualities are complex is because brains are complex villages of systems interacting with each other on many different levels. I flirt with other gay guys I have no intention of sleeping with (to revert to the thread's original topic) just for the hell of it, even if we have no sexual chemistry, maybe just to say I like them, or stroke their egos. I flirt with straight guys to annoy and flatter them. Straight & gay guys flirt with me for the same reason, and I'm clear about what they are. I don’t flirt with weak people, male or female, since they might misunderstand. Sex is communicative behavior. You can communicate both who you are and who you are not in sex.

I think all the comments made earlier about labels can be tested if you think about your name (as label) and your identity. Your identity is the peak of a bell curve that outlines the reality of your behaviors, history, potential, etc.. There is a fairly large "population" under the tent the bell curve makes, with extremes to the right and left.

People may point to extreme outliers in me and cite them as proof that my overall identity, at the top of the curve, is false. That’s nuts. In fact, I’m the only one who knows the full range and extent of what lies under the curve--not just the range of what I’ve done, what I could do, and what it means--but of who I want to be and where I'm headed. Others might get it right or wrong. I can make it easier for them by being more transparent about myself, and more difficult by being more opaque.


This is what makes the topic difficult I think, and interesting. The bottom line is that when we identify ourselves, that identity might not be in sync with the way others identify us.


I think the bottom line in sexuality is who we want to bond with, and how. We can’t use outliers or random events to prove or disprove anything. A single event can be at the margins, or in the very center and near the top of our identities, just like a single person is in a population distribution can be at the extreme margins or the very center. We typically do not identify ourselves on the basis of one extreme or random event, no matter how much others might want to use that to their own advantage, and to our disadvantage.
 

Lex

Expert Member
Joined
Jun 11, 2004
Posts
8,253
Media
0
Likes
118
Points
268
Location
In Your Darkest Thoughts and Dreams
Sexuality
99% Gay, 1% Straight
Gender
Male
WindTalkerWays said:
No matter how many labels or categories
are devised, they hold no water if people
refuse to be totally honest about who they
are.

I agree here and would add that honesty begins with YOURSELF. As people, we are hardly ever honest with ourselves about MOST issues, so a slippery slope like sexuality being shrouded in repression, self-hatred and condemnation does not surprise me. If our society and world were more accepting of differences, I think people would be able to explore their sexuality and figure who they are much sooner than some currently do.



WindTalkerWays said:
...It slowly
evolved somehow that men should not be
so 'vain' and now it's taken a fair amount
of time for the pendulum but I think it's
slowly swinging the other direction again
and why not?

Men deserve to take pride in their
appearance. They say toiletries
et al, for men is a booming business
now and I say kudos!

I am totally with you here. I have the full Clinque facial skin care products for men and take the utmost pride in my appearance. I think everyone should look as if they care about themselves.

Prepstud is another member who I knkow likes to look and dress his best.

Shit, shower, shave. Iron, tuck, buckle.

Can it be all so simple then?
 

chris1999

Just Browsing
Joined
Apr 12, 2006
Posts
6
Media
0
Likes
0
Points
146
Gender
Male
prickleyguy said:
I wonder if we should consider some of our basic animalist instincts that I believe we all possess deep down inside; that male animals are naturally curious about other males in terms of dominance and breeding. We want to see what the other guy has to see if he is a threat to our territory, mates etc…… perhaps that explains the curiosity of the so called straight males that participate on or view so many gay websites. ( I am not implying that this is a Gay oriented website)
The WWW has become a place for us to be out in comfort that we can not enjoy in the real world. Having been brought up in the Western US with similar fears that were brought up in Brokeback Mountain about being found out and dealt with in a violent way or ostracized by everyone that I care about, forums like this are a release and a sanctuary where we can be who we really are yet still be our persona in the rest of our life.
I agree with prickleyguy, although I think people are so complex in both biological make up and psychological experience that one explanation can not account for all the variety on the sexual continuum. I for one consider myself primarily heterosexaul, but I have had two sexual encounters with males...both cousins.

As a teen an older cousin showed me the ropes of how to beat off which eventually led to many years of male to male sex. There was NO emotional contact at all, just an attitude of "you do me - I'll do you" and that was the end of it. The other encounter I had was much much shorter in duration and was me showing a younger cousin how to jerk off.

I bring up the above because I think these experiences have altered the way I look at sexualtiy. I do check out other men in locker rooms and periodically at urinals, but I can't imagine initiating sex with them. When I have the oppurtunity to look at men, and there is some sexual stirring, it is usually because of some idealized vision I am seeing and in some twisted way want to be like that person (better build, bigger dick, nicer face, etc...). And so, the internet can be a safe place to check out the competition, to envy those with better characteristics than our own, to look without fear of retaliation, and if it happens...to become aroused.

I have been approached a few times by other males looking for sex, but I can't imagine developing an emotional bound with them. I have found these advances to be somewhat of an honor as I realize the chance these men have taken to expose their sexualtiy openly. On the other hand, there have only ever been a few men I have known over the years where there was a definite sexual connection, but it was never acted upon. Perhaps I will look back some day with regreat that I didn't experiment more.
 

e-swell

Just Browsing
Joined
Jan 19, 2006
Posts
10
Media
0
Likes
0
Points
146
Gender
Male
HungSpermBoy said:
I'm not sure if it's my age or my interests, but I've been more pulled in by how guys relate to each other emotionally than just sexually. Since I've been on this site I've talked with many guys about how I'd like to form loving friendhships with others as a straight male. For me the "Large Penis" part of this site is a way for me to discover what there is about us males that keeps us apart emotionally or maybe what brings us together. So while the whole thing about big cocks may be erotic or stimulating, I find what keeps bringing me back to this site is the deeper connection with the men here, which I don't have that much in my college life. As a straight guy I'm more interested in the size of the h
earts of people here than I am in the size of their cocks. :smile:

I know it's a tired old cliche. But men really do need to bond with other men, and only a guy knows what another guy likes. I would be willing to bet that any guy that sees another guy pumping a woman, or even better yet, watching 2 guys having intercourse with a woman (by the way, my big turn on). This gent is not just getting off on the lady in question. As a gay man, I feel ok in saying this.
 

fortiesfun

Sexy Member
Joined
May 29, 2006
Posts
4,619
Media
0
Likes
78
Points
268
Location
California (United States)
Sexuality
60% Gay, 40% Straight
Gender
Male
Joining this thread very late, and find it most interesting. The crutial point, I think, was made in post #78, which had gotten lost a bit, but comes closest to answer Alex's question.

What is most wrong is that we all take Kinsey's scale (much as it accomplished, and is deserving of praise) to be correct and assume that we all have a single sexuality that falls along a continuum.

Much newer research suggests, however, that we more probably have SEXUALITIES (plural) each of which may independent fall along their own continuum. That is, each of us has a degree of homosexuality in the physical world with which we are comfortable, but men who consider themselves 100% homosexual may still find themselves interested in only part of the behavior. Many, for example, don't have anal sex ever. We have a separate, independent hetrosexuality which may also run the gamut or be limited to only part of the scale. The thing is, the two numbers have nothing to do with each other. One can be absolutely into all aspects of hetrosexuality, and it is not a great predictor that you will or won't be interested in homosexuality.

Alex's post originally started out proposing that virtual sex may be a different matter, and it looks like it is. The very study he brought to our attention is one of those pieces of evidence that points that way, even if its authors find it hard to make the final leap to thinking that we may have more than one sexuality in us.

Point is, looks like we have virtual identities that do not closely correlate to our physical identities. 100% hetro men (whatever that means) are not predictably interested in only hetero matter online. Totally gay men look at straight porn often.

So, at very least we probably have four sexualities interacting in us at any one time, and there may be more. Research is just beginning to open up this territory.

Kinsey was a god, but he may not have gone far enough...
 

Matthew

Legendary Member
Gold
Platinum Gold
Joined
Aug 27, 2005
Posts
7,296
Media
0
Likes
1,626
Points
583
Sexuality
99% Gay, 1% Straight
Gender
Male
fortiesfun - amazing post! I've been thinking a lot about the exact same theories myself - 'multiple continuums' of sexuality/orientation. I had no idea others were researching the same ideas. I'm really fascinated by it all. It makes me think there are whole new concepts and a vocabulary about sexuality and sexual orientation that exist to be "discovered."

I'd be very interested to know where I could read more about this. Please post some links or titles if you know any, or feel free to PM me with them.