Straight men, gay internet fantasies?

[JackbytheSea]

You can sort of figure out how a str8 guy could get caught up in these virtual exchanges with gay guys, if you think of it like kinging or corn-ducking. Part of the thrill is seeing how crazy you can get without actually porking. I don't think it's anymore scientific than speed and adrenaline, and it's got nothing to do with sexual preference.

I think we have a sexual frequency, to borrow the dual continuum theory mentioned above, that is completely thrill-driven and not attached to orientation, conscience or morality. I think it's probably where we begin our sexual journey, before switching over to full heterosexuality, which is just as primal, but also more political. It's the channel we were probably tuned into the first time we ever masturbated alone or 'practiced' something on a buddy. Couldn't the virtual experience, devoid of politics, class, social affirmations, etc, revert some of us back to that first, savage continuum, while leaving our gender-oriented heterosexuality unchanged?

Maybe, the other attraction here is simpler than that. Maybe, the guy does it online with a another guy simply because he can. I'd wager that, with most guys, doing it or not doing it is sometimes less about quality, than availability, .. whether we want to cop to that or not.

 

[D_Sheffield Thongbynder]

[FONT=&quot] To begin, let me first state this is a very, very intriguing and enlightening thread. It’s great that our eyes are coming open to the very fluid nature of sexuality, and our minds – though at a pace slower than I should like – are embracing various concepts that are a corollary of our closer exploration of the human sexual appeal. That is to say, terms such as hetero-flexible and homo-flexible are beneficial in that they widen the scope of sexual labels. At the very least this should help many curious individual find their bearing and finally – if only slightly – gain understanding of themselves and the dynamic they share with the rest of the world.

[/FONT]Secondly, the content of this thread is quite complex. For as much as it unveils several questions – questions that I know I’ve had, anyway – and their answers, it simultaneously gives rise to many more questions. However, it appears that the more pressing concern here is: Why do straight guys hit on gay guys online so much?

Quite frankly, I don’t know exactly why this is done; in my mind, it seems that both the question and the answer are rather subjective. I can’t think any one hard and fast response that can suit this question. Nevertheless there remains an explanation that could possibly make things a little clear.

I mentioned earlier in this post of ‘curious individuals’ endeavoring to ‘find their bearing’. This may very well have something to do with it [self-identified heterosexual men using the internet as an arena to pursue the same sex], and quite honestly, I can not think of a better way to test the waters. Understand that the internet is a form of medium where individuals are able to maintain their anonymity and, more importantly, are not inconvenienced with the element of responsibility. That alone should give us insight into why the internet appears to be an oasis to straight men looking to bend their sexuality outside of the very unbendable, judgmental ‘real life.’

Quintessentially, when relations are formed via the internet, it is no more than two (or more if that’s your liking) perfect strangers who have engineered a relationship based solely on … words. That is to say you each have been tantalized by the idea of one another. Though it seems relatively abstract in nature, it is this kind of relationship that may lend itself as ‘stable ground’ when one is trying to discover where on the continuum their sexuality lies.

Suffice it to say that this is a ‘new way’ of testing your sexuality. To own the truth, society won’t allow sexual exploration through any other means, other than those means which are covertly executed. It’s too bad we are not above ridicule and other means of putting people to an open shame. Again, this is why the internet is ever so enticing.

Moreover, things have to be taken in small (or smaller) doses; therefore, some may reconcile within themselves: if I can enjoy a homosexual or bi-sexual relationship over the internet, I could possibly enjoy one in real life. I’m not saying this is exactly the protocol one should follow, but, as I said earlier, it’s all rather subjective and people should discover their own way.

The internet is quite an interesting sort of medium. It links people from all around the world into one central location. Now, not only has it linked us together, but it appears it may have done us one better – given us a means to help understand ourselves a little better. People are relentlessly searching out ways to gain a more in-depth perception of their own lives and selves – it just so happens that in this case the internet has proven to be rather effective tool.

Clearly, this is why Al Gore created the internet!

This articulates exactly what I think. No need for me to add annthing to it. What a great thread, btw.

 

[novice_btm]

You can sort of figure out how a str8 guy could get caught up in these virtual exchanges with gay guys, if you think of it like kinging or corn-ducking...

Um, what are kinging and corn-ducking ?

 

[Gisella]

Dont know about straight men gay internet fantasies...but im discovering about myself and i almost sure is that if i was a man i would be gay...tought would be bisexual minutes ago...but dont think would fancy women at all...i'm just attracted to men's body being a female or imagining me as a male...

Interesting...

 

[JackbytheSea]

Um, what are kinging and corn-ducking ?

Slang for dry-humping. I think it was called ducking, because it meant ducking or avoiding the butthole, or the dick and the butthole were ducking each other. Stupid [But, fun].

I've heard kinging, corning, cornholing, duckholing, cornducking, practice (my fave) and some others I can't remember. A couple of these may have been full-blown anal, but, I think most (at least, for me) never involved real porking. I didn't actually hear it called dry-humping until senior year of junior high school. From my experience, the meanings seem to vary depending on what part of the country you're in.

Maybe, I'm wrong about comparing the virtual gay stuff to juvenille goofing off. All of that horsing around came from the anticipation of eventually getting something going with real girls, and maybe some it was just excercise . If you've got access to real, live, fully functioning women, who needs guys?

Interesting topic.

 

[dreamer20]

many of us have become über-familiar with the terms heteroflexible and homoflexible,...Malmo Uni also puts forward a case for ..the distinct phenomenon of virtual heteroflexibility in straight men, finding many willing to explore elements of their sexuality online that would go untested in real life.

...in the virtual arena : why do straight guys hit on gay guys online so much and vice versa?

I define persons as being monogamous or polyamorous, instead of the above terms. Polyamorus being a Greek word meaning having many loves. In the latter term the individual usually has a major relationship and other outside relationships. Or they are not committed and just "play the field" as it were. This definition covers all sexualites under one polyamorous umbrella.

The internet is ideal for a polyamorus person as he or she can flirt with numerous persons without the jealousy or awkwardness that occurs in reality when the main squeeze learns about the minor sqeeze and all hell breaks loose. Rejection is easier to deal with too in cyberspace as they can just move on and try to get lucky with other playmates.

Flirting is not really a bad thing. It can be quite enjoyable and yes there are closeted type persons enjoying the fact that this medium allows them to express themselves with anonymity.

As for being "hit on" , I'm still waiting Alex.:naughty:

lol dreamer20

 

[D_alex8]

I define persons as being monogamous or polyamorous, instead of the above terms. Polyamorus being a Greek word meaning having many loves. In the latter term the individual usually has a major relationship and other outside relationships. Or they are not committed and just "play the field" as it were. This definition covers all sexualites under one polyamorous umbrella.

I think that's a whole new issue, and certainly an interesting one in terms of how an individual's perceptions of fidelity may impact on their interactions online as well...

..the terms 'homoflexible' and 'heteroflexible' were being used to denote something quite different, though:

The Drewbert scale of sexuality goes like this:

1. Heterosexual - likes the opposite sex only

2. Heteroflexible - likes the opposite sex, will only enter long term relationships with the opposite sex, has "relations" with the same sex only on occation.

3. Bisexual - likes both sexes equally, equal chance of a long term relationship with either sex.

4. Homoflexibile - likes the same sex, will only enter into long term relationships with the same sex, has "relations" with the opposite sex only on occation.

5. Homosexual - likes the same sex only.

 

[B_dxjnorto]

Most people can be sexually aroused by a member of their own sex. Getting a BJ for instance. Put on a blindfold and you may not know the difference.

Many primarily straight men I know find some men attractive, but their preference is for women. I split attraction in two, orientation and preference. Someone may be somewhat oriented toward men, but prefer relationships with women. Social respectability is often suggested as a large part of the equation. If we could be sexual with anyone we wanted without any social repercussions, many people would.

Beauty is beauty. Men are visually oriented to beauty. The pages of men's magazines are full of pictures of beautiful men.

 

[chris1999]

What a great topic!

Like everything else associated with humans, I highly doubt that anything is absolute. Most issues with people are on some type of a spectrum, bell curve, etc. and sexuality and sexual desire too is a part of this.

I think the porm industry knew this long before anyone "scientifically" looked at the topic. They show cock close ups, gang bangs, well built and well hung men, and of course, the inevitable "money shot". They are producing these films in this way for a reason and that is, in my very humble and newbie point of few, because they know that even the biggest bad ass pussy eating married iron worker gets some thrill from seeing how another man performs / how big is dick is / how far he comes, etc....

Social presures to conform and fear of negative retaliation on multiple levels, I suspect, keep many people from exploring aspects of their desire. The internet provides a great mostly safe outlet for this in an expanded form that old time porn shops could have never imagined. I remember once going into a porn shop and watching a gay flick when all of a sudden the largest penis I ever saw was pushed threw a glory hole in the wall. I had NO desire to act on my curiosity, but was fascinated by the whole experience.

If my wife ever found out the sites I have visited she would be amazed and likely pissed off. I find the penis a remarkable piece of equipment and, to be perfectly honest about it, I enjoy looking at them. I doubt I will ever have a gay experience as an adult, but if all the plantes lined up and I could be free of guilt, be certain of not being "outed", not catch something, and have it be an exploration of my sexual response, well then, I might just have to try. So, I guess I will just need to keep peeping at all the cranks on the net. As for having an actual cyber - sexual - relationship, my personal opinion is that it is not for me.

 

[dreamer20]

1. Heterosexual , 2. Heteroflexible ,
3. Bisexual , 4. Homoflexibile
5. Homosexual

...in the virtual arena : why do straight guys hit on gay guys online so much and vice versa?

Other than the straight person actually being defined by one of the other categories, both parties may just do this for fun. It has indeed been enjoyable, especially in the chatroom. Just being playful, really, in the cases I have come across.

lol dreamer20

 

[JackbytheSea]

I half-flirt with people all the time - women, gay pals, little old ladies.

Most people I know are intelligent enough to understand that it doesn't mean jack$#*+ and flirt right back or laugh it off, just as I do, when they start up with me. In fact, there's a nudist friend of mine (str8), who's got a pic of himself online, and I can't AIM him, without throwing in a crack about his 'hot, hot' picture. It's just crap, really - absolutely nothing.

However, I think the virtual sex or dirty aiming is different in the way that it really IS sexual in nature, but not in a way that is gender-specific. Ie; I don't think there's anything gay or bisexual about it.

Just like summer camp, it's all about getting off, without actually getting off. It's harmless.

 

[healthycircumcision]

[stronzo,i Agree With You,are You Sure That There Aren~t Horny Women Whores Who Have An Insatiable Desire To Gay Porn. I Guess There Are A Lot Of Impostors Here,women Pretending To Be Men,straight Men Deceiving Gays To Attack Them.as For Alex,who Mercilessly Attacked Because I Made A Mistake With Him Using Offensive Language,i~ll Forgive Him.honestly Banned And Forbidden Websites Are Desired Out Of Curiosity.a Lot Of Straight Men And Straight Women Are Atrocious.to Quoteabu Ghraib Prison Scandal).i~m Waiting For Your Private Message Or E Mail,i~m Fearless And Ain~t Desperate To Have Gay Good Friends.have A Nice Day,and Please Take Care,honey.

 

[findfirefox]

[stronzo,i Agree With You,are You Sure That There Aren~t Horny Women Whores Who Have An Insatiable Desire To Gay Porn.

I don't see anything about "horny women whores" who have a desire to (watch?) gay porn.

I Guess There Are A Lot Of Impostors Here,women Pretending To Be Men,straight Men Deceiving Gays To Attack Them.

Are you responding to something in particular because as far as I know, this thread is about men who say that they are straight but talk or express gay sex fantasies through the Internet.

as For Alex,who Mercilessly Attacked Because I Made A Mistake With Him Using Offensive Language,i~ll Forgive Him.

Alex I belive was angry at you because you were acting like a troll and not because you were using "offensive language"

honestly Banned And Forbidden Websites Are Desired Out Of Curiosity.

Okay...

a Lot Of Straight Men And Straight Women Are Atrocious.to Quoteabu Ghraib Prison Scandal).

Use quotation marks around your quotes, and use quotes relevant to the topic.

i~m Waiting For Your Private Message Or E Mail,i~m Fearless And Ain~t Desperate To Have Gay Good Friends.have A Nice Day,and Please Take Care,honey.

All you ever do is ramble, you don't make points, and you just spew out crap.

 

[healthycircumcision]

[stronzo,i Agree With You,are You Sure That There Are Horny Women Whores Who Have An Insatiable Desire To Gay Porn. I Guess There Are A Lot Of Impostors Here,women Pretending To Be Men,straight Men Deceiving Gays To Attack Them.as For Alex,who Mercilessly Attacked Because I Made A Mistake With Him Using Offensive Language,i~ll Forgive Him.honestly Banned And Forbidden Websites Are Desired Out Of Curiosity.a Lot Of Straight Men And Straight Women Are Atrocious.to Quoteabu Ghraib Prison Scandal).i~m Waiting For Your Private Message Or E Mail,i~m Fearless And Ain~t Desperate To Have Gay Good Friends.have A Nice Day,and Please Take Care,honey.

I corrected the mistake.A lot of females are depraved,and they can control the strongest men with their sexy bodies,to tell the truth,some women were attracted by my charm ,they wanted to have fast oral sex with me,I disrespected them,but still think that women are much more gentle than men.

 

[B_Hung Muscle]

Wtf?

 

[D_alex8]

Wtf?

Yes, I think that's generally the best response to most posts by healthylobotomy.

 

[B_Hung Muscle]

I read it three times and still don't understand. Glad it's not just my being incredibly tired at this early hour -- or early on-set dementia.

 

[Tele at Ten]

I dunno...I think there are guys who are
into cock worship...of their own of course,
who would never consider a man's lips on it.

How do I know...because I've spoken to
straight men who think this way. There are
many gradations of sexuality but to me a
guy who deems it within his realm to allow
another male to fellate him is not 100% straight.[/quote]


I think that's completely false.

Straight men love to get their rocks off just like any other guy. We're all the same that way.
A guy can be completely straight and get a blow job from another guy.

I don't know where you get this information from. But i'd like to know.

 

[CUBE]

I think straight guys and gay guys hook up in fantasy because they each want closeness and trust in a world that says men can't be close.

 

[D_Sheffield Thongbynder]

I read it three times and still don't understand. Glad it's not just my being incredibly tired at this early hour -- or early on-set dementia.

I just read it four times and still can't get the drift. I am making a wild guess here, but I doubt it would matter if I did figure it our after a few more tries.:tongue: