Straight Pretty-Boys Love Big Dick Man

Hetrosizequeen

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Seriously, I have issues, we all have some issues, and I will admit that it came out way harsher than it sounded in my head, but trust and believe, I don’t have issues either with reading nor with comprehension.

This “story” is simply extremely convoluted, written in a very confusing way with sentence structure thrown out of the window and with a plethora of words not making sense, not being used correctly, it’s simply bad. I understand that the author might not be a native speaker, but I am afraid that even with substantial editing from someone who is really good at writing stories, this one is unsalvageable.
Hello Hate Machine,

Again.....If you didnt understand it it was meant for you.

Not sure that you will be able to comprehend that basic sentence and apply it to your limited pedestrian reading and comprehension skills. It's obviously abstract and beyond your creative process.

But you and your anger issues keep comming back to my big dick king page over and over again, I think you secretly like me or you're one of my ex girlfriends.

Either way Hate Machine.......you bore me.
 

Brian74

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Well, that was…..Different…lol.

I am an admitted logophile but I try not to be the literary police.

I won’t discount the critiques of others - some of the passages were especially challenged from a basic grammar and sentence structure standpoint. As well, the dialogue was also fairly frenetic with us switching between the thoughts of the model and the beast, I wasn’t always sure of who’s vantage point the story was being narrated from.

Having said/typed all that, I was still able to follow and enjoy the story. The premise is one that seems somewhat believable and the reactions of the men involved seemed equally plausible.

To the op, I speak for no one other than myself but I say keep going if you feel so inclined. If someone wants stories that are closer to grammatically correct, they can go to nifty, literotica or the innumerable spate of free sites dedicated solely to erotic literature.

I come to this site for the bevy of sexual predilections being shared and I don’t mind imperfections. If anything, those imperfections give a certain authenticity to whatever is being shared.
 

opinionman

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Y’all want to be English professors on a forum about penis. Got it.
Why is it when someone offers an opinion about language use (especially about a STORY), people say, "Don't be an English Professor"? Can't people offer their opinion without being somehow pigeonholed as an "English professor," as if that's a bad thing?Is that term supposed to be an insult when all the guy said was that the story was overwritten?
 

bigguy7

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Well, that was…..Different…lol.

I am an admitted logophile but I try not to be the literary police.

I won’t discount the critiques of others - some of the passages were especially challenged from a basic grammar and sentence structure standpoint. As well, the dialogue was also fairly frenetic with us switching between the thoughts of the model and the beast, I wasn’t always sure of who’s vantage point the story was being narrated from.

Having said/typed all that, I was still able to follow and enjoy the story. The premise is one that seems somewhat believable and the reactions of the men involved seemed equally plausible.

To the op, I speak for no one other than myself but I say keep going if you feel so inclined. If someone wants stories that are closer to grammatically correct, they can go to nifty, literotica or the innumerable spate of free sites dedicated solely to erotic literature.

I come to this site for the bevy of sexual predilections being shared and I don’t mind imperfections. If anything, those imperfections give a certain authenticity to whatever is being shared.
Here here, mate... respectful, constructive feedback like yours really helps redirect the general tone in/of comments.
 

jence77

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Ok... I did enjoy the story, was it difficult to follow? Hell yeah! But I kept reading.
At some point I felt like I was missing a chart, a diagram, a map and a bottle of scotch to figure out what was going on.

A couple of days ago I did a second reading, and it felt lighter. The style remains peculiar, but that might be a good thing, right? So, I hope you keep sharing more stories like this one, actually, it's cool to read something different for a change.

Now, of y'all excuse me, I'm going for that scotch.