Straight roomie...

[DC_DEEP]

A real straight guy won't accept your BJ offer.

Very true, especially if you emphasize the "real."

i think a str8 guy may accept your offer.... a blow job isn't any big deal anymore....

If he's straight, that's doubtful. If he's bisexual, it's more likely. I didn't know that a blowjob was ever "any big deal."

Since you don't have a penis, why don't you stay out of it, with your bolded, italicized and in-your-face-sized font? (From your attitude, though, maybe you wish you DID have one)

If I said that I was sick and tired of something that some black people do, there would be a problem, wouldn't there? So cut the heterosexism and stop slamming gay guys!

That's just an idiotic post. Cut the misogynistic and racist crap, and stop slamming black women.

For the millionth time, anyone who accepts isn't straight. They're bi, at least to some extent. That isn't to say that they don't self-identify as straight because they're insecure, unsure, or in denial.

Can we please do away with the myth that there are tons of "straight" guys out there who like sex with men?

Apparently not. I think the "self-identify" is the crux here. He can call himself "straight" or even "a little green teapot." But calling himself that doesn't necessarily make it so.

Or just a male who has no interest in sleeping with other men.

What a concept.

Well there's the thing right there. It's a term of self-identification. A guy can be straight and still be curious about guys, or go through a period of experimentation.

Curiosity and experimentation are one thing; repeated behaviors are another thing entirely. If I taste pickled beets once, and decide I don't like them and never eat them again, that doesn't make me a pickled beet eater. If I try them, and like them, and eat them periodically, it DOES make me a pickled beet eater, even if I claim I'm not.

All 'straight guy' means is that he has a conscious preference to have intimate relations with females--that he chooses women over men. It's not a club you get kicked out of because you kissed a guy at a bar one night.

All "straight guy" means, is that he does not have sex with men. That seems pretty simple.

Hmm. Preference for the opposite sex. Does it say exclusive? Does it say "zero attraction to same sex"? Does it say anything of the sort?

Please define, in your own words, these three terms: heterosexual, bisexual, and homosexual.

A man with a strong preference for women over men can easily identify as straight.

It's a self-identifying term...80% of the public identifies as straight...according to your definition, almost all of them are lying.

According to experts on human sexuality, sexuality is a continuum. If you split it into thirds for each, there's a lot of straight men who have had some experience with other men. It doesn't make them bisexual or gay.

Again, "some experience" isn't the defining factor. Repeated experience is. Again, please define for me, the three terms I put earlier in this post. Oh, and tell me what you think of my sig line.

Why do some men seem to be so concerned that they are perceived as totally heterosexual?

It says more about their own insecurity than anything

That's an excellent question. It has come up so often on this forum that I came up with my sig line, just to point out how ridiculous it is when put in a different context. It amazes me, the lengths some self-loathers will go to, to re-define "sex" so that they can still call themselves straight. Things like, "I may have a cock up my ass at this moment, but I have a girlfriend, so I'm straight."

 

[Freddie53]

I have taught sexuality to middle school students both at school and at church.

These are the definitions that were in the books

Straight - A person who is usually attracted to a person of theopposite gender. If ever wants to settle down with a significant other will choose the opposite gender.

Gay - A person who generally is attracted to a person of the same gender. A gay person may marry and even have sex with a person of the opposite gender but thoughts of sex with people of same gender is more arousing than thoughts of sex with people of opposite gender.

Bi - A person who is attracted to people of both genders. This person fantasizes about sex with both genders. A bi person makes his choice by who is available, not by which gender the person is.

Straight, Gay and Bi refer to what a person is, thinks and is attracted to.

Sexual activity in itself does not define if a person is gay, straight or bi.

There are many people who are really attracted to people of the same gender lifelong. They fantasize about it. and if given a chance to view porn will pick gay porn over straight porn. But, the pressrues of our society are such that they pick a spouse of the opposite gender that mom and dad approve. They are capable of having sex with their spouse, but in their minds, they aren't sexually attracted to their opposite gender mate. They use fantasy during sex if they are thinking at all.

Quite often, these true gay people do love their spouses deeply. But the love is not sexual.

And there are still cases where people marry for convenience, to produce children, to have someone to accompany them to concerts, church. They pick people that they are compatable with, have the same intersts and basically enjoy their company. These people know from the get go that there is no romantic inerest in the marriage. Sometimes these marriages are open marriages either above board, they acknowledge to each other their flings, or open marriages closed, meaning that while each knows or suspects the other's flings, they never acknowledge it verbally.

I know. I am one of those people. Happily married. No sexual interest at this point either of us. There is a real love there. But gals don't arosue me at all. Only guys do.

So what am I? I consider myself to be a closet gay, because inside my head that is the way I think. And that is what really determines what you really are. No, my spouse has no clue or if she does, she hasn't acknowledged it. I look at the guys pics here and get hard looking at them. The gals pics never turn me own.

Those terms spouted out of our mouths are most often words of convenience that may or may not relfect the true situation.

 

[70106]

I don't know how people manage to stay in the closet without going crazy. I think it would take more emotional strength for me to do that, than for me to just let it all hang out, so to speak.

 

[dreamer20]

Gay - A person who generally is attracted to a person of the opposite gender.

Oops! There's a word that needs editing Freddie.^^

So what am I? ...

Are you available Friday night?:naughty:


j/k:27:

 

[D_Iskepee_Longwoodee]

I have taught sexuality to middle school students both at school and at church.

These are the definitions that were in the books

Straight - A person who is usually attracted to a person of theopposite gender. If ever wants to settle down with a significant other will choose the opposite gender.

Gay - A person who generally is attracted to a person of the opposite gender. A gay person may marry and even have sex with a person of the opposite gender but thoughts of sex with people of same gender is more arousing than thoughts of sex with people of opposite gender.

Bi - A person who is attracted to people of both genders. This person fantasizes about sex with both genders. A bi person makes his choice by who is available, not by which gender the person is.

Straight, Gay and Bi refer to what a person is, thinks and is attracted to.

Sexual activity in itself does not define if a person is gay, straight or bi.

There are many people who are really attracted to people of the same gender lifelong. They fantasize about it. and if given a chance to view porn will pick gay porn over straight porn. But, the pressrues of our society are such that they pick a spouse of the opposite gender that mom and dad approve. They are capable of having sex with their spouse, but in their minds, they aren't sexually attracted to their opposite gender mate. They use fantasy during sex if they are thinking at all.

Quite often, these true gay people do love their spouses deeply. But the love is not sexual.

And there are still cases where people marry for convenience, to produce children, to have someone to accompany them to concerts, church. They pick people that they are compatable with, have the same intersts and basically enjoy their company. These people know from the get go that there is no romantic inerest in the marriage. Sometimes these marriages are open marriages either above board, they acknowledge to each other their flings, or open marriages closed, meaning that while each knows or suspects the other's flings, they never acknowledge it verbally.

I know. I am one of those people. Happily married. No sexual interest at this point either of us. There is a real love there. But gals don't arosue me at all. Only guys do.

So what am I? I consider myself to be a closet gay, because inside my head that is the way I think. And that is what really determines what you really are. No, my spouse has no clue or if she does, she hasn't acknowledged it. I look at the guys pics here and get hard looking at them. The gals pics never turn me own.

Those terms spouted out of our mouths are most often words of convenience that may or may not relfect the true situation.

I know a few people who are much like yourself, but not in any relationship at the moment, and I think I have been making progress with both of them in regards to their coming out process. Also a best friend of mine, Chris, was much like this as well, he dated some girls, but never got married and had the courage finally to fess up to his parents. His father is an OBGYN and his mom, well she knew all along and was waiting for him to come out! Most everyone knew in H.S., as it was obvious at that time, and now 7 years after college and 1 year a few after our masters degrees we still laught about it! I'm so glad he finally opened that closet door and stepped out and he is too, and his personality has changed for the better because of it!

Very true, especially if you emphasize the "real."If he's straight, that's doubtful. If he's bisexual, it's more likely. I didn't know that a blowjob was ever "any big deal."That's just an idiotic post. Cut the misogynistic and racist crap, and stop slamming black women.
Apparently not. I think the "self-identify" is the crux here. He can call himself "straight" or even "a little green teapot." But calling himself that doesn't necessarily make it so.What a concept.Curiosity and experimentation are one thing; repeated behaviors are another thing entirely. If I taste pickled beets once, and decide I don't like them and never eat them again, that doesn't make me a pickled beet eater. If I try them, and like them, and eat them periodically, it DOES make me a pickled beet eater, even if I claim I'm not.All "straight guy" means, is that he does not have sex with men. That seems pretty simple.Please define, in your own words, these three terms: heterosexual, bisexual, and homosexual.Again, "some experience" isn't the defining factor. Repeated experience is. Again, please define for me, the three terms I put earlier in this post. Oh, and tell me what you think of my sig line.
That's an excellent question. It has come up so often on this forum that I came up with my sig line, just to point out how ridiculous it is when put in a different context. It amazes me, the lengths some self-loathers will go to, to re-define "sex" so that they can still call themselves straight. Things like, "I may have a cock up my ass at this moment, but I have a girlfriend, so I'm straight."

 

[jaime844]

Apparently not. I think the "self-identify" is the crux here. He can call himself "straight" or even "a little green teapot." But calling himself that doesn't necessarily make it so.

Human sexuality and little metal cans are not remotely comparable. Have you so loose a grasp on logic that you think that actually makes sense? Here's the kicker: you don't have the right to label others for them because you're uncomfortable with it.

What a concept.Curiosity and experimentation are one thing; repeated behaviors are another thing entirely. If I taste pickled beets once, and decide I don't like them and never eat them again, that doesn't make me a pickled beet eater. If I try them, and like them, and eat them periodically

That depends entirely on what you mean by "repeated" and "periodically." You can't force a number on a blurry continuum. People with a predominant interest in the opposite sex are classified as straight. That doesn't mean there's some arbitrary cutoff where they're no longer straight. Each person sets that line individually, and it's not up to anyone else to determine.

All "straight guy" means, is that he does not have sex with men.

Sure. But "does not" is not an unqualified term. It's not "has never". It's not "has no interest in or curiosity about". It's not "will never". It is a general statement about the clear majority of cases. I'm not sure why it's so hard for you to be comfortable outside of a walled fort. Human sexuality is a continuum; get used to ambiguity.

That seems pretty simple.Please define, in your own words, these three terms: heterosexual, bisexual, and homosexual.

I already have. If you feel the need for added clarification, read any text on human sexuality, or just go to Wikipedia if you're that intimidated by actual knowledge.

Oh, and tell me what you think of my sig line.

It's a lame attempt at humor. It's also a confused mockery of a semantic designation you don't understand. If you're claiming to be "100% straight" that's quite a different thing from being "straight".

It amazes me, the lengths some self-loathers will go to, to re-define "sex" so that they can still call themselves straight. Things like, "I may have a cock up my ass at this moment, but I have a girlfriend, so I'm straight."

What's truly amazing is how protective a bunch of repressed and insecure people are over the term "straight." So terrified, in fact, that they have to make a homophobic attack on "self-loathers" for people that infringe on their sacred territory.

 

[Sibelius8591]

I disagree with the notion that any time a man has sex with another man (especially if he's drunk), that automatically makes a man 'bi".

I'm 100% gay, but I've experimented with girls I really cared for. They were very close bonding experiences with some very special women, but I never fantasize about women or ever think about having sex with a woman otherwise.

I am not any percent "straight" because of those experiences. I do have some un-regrettable, strong memories with some very close friends.

Men are men. Unlike women, we'll (generally) screw a sheep if we're horny enough. That doesn't make us straight, gay, bi or anything else. It just makes us the more sex-driven of the species.

 

[Randyvoorburg]

I don't think he'll mind as long as you can convince him that you won't kiss and tell...or suck and tell. I've seen the straightest of men do the gayest of things, I think some of them celebrate that fact that despite these acts they do not "turn gay." I wish you all the luck with your roomie.

 

[rob_just_rob]

DC, don't waste your time. Apparently for "Jaime", there are two types of men: Those who have sex with both men and women, and those who just have sex with men. "Straight" and "Bisexual" mean the same thing to him, regardless of how confusing that is to the rest of us.

If you disagree, he'll label you narrowminded or intolerant, even though what you are is "literate", which is apparently a bad thing now.

 

[Principessa]

DC, don't waste your time. Apparently for "Jaime", there are two types of men: Those who have sex with both men and women, and those who just have sex with men. "Straight" and "Bisexual" mean the same thing to him, regardless of how confusing that is to the rest of us. What a maroon :tongue::biggrin1:

If you disagree, he'll label you narrowminded or intolerant, even though what you are is "literate", which is apparently a bad thing now. Apparently so, next thing you know he'll accuse me of acting white.:tongue: For the millionth time, anyone who accepts isn't straight. They're bi, at least to some extent. This is what I have been saying for the last 9 months here.:smile: That isn't to say that they don't self-identify as straight because they're insecure, unsure, or in denial. Exactly.

Can we please do away with the myth that there are tons of "straight" guys out there who like sex with men? Because that's like saying that there are lots of Italian men who are actually Dutch.

I think I love you. :smile:

Cut the misogynistic and racist crap, and stop slamming black women. Thank you Darling. :wink:

Apparently not. I think the "self-identify" is the crux here. He can call himself "straight" or even "a little green teapot." But calling himself that doesn't necessarily make it so. Exactly!My dad still calls me princess and baby girl, in spite of the fact we have no royal blood and I am 41 yrs. old. :tongue: It has come up so often on this forum that I came up with my sig line, just to point out how ridiculous it is when put in a different context. That's a great signature line. It amazes me, the lengths some self-loathers will go to, to re-define "sex" so that they can still call themselves straight. Things like, "I may have a cock up my ass at this moment, but I have a girlfriend, so I'm straight."

LMAO, that's one of my favorite lines here. :biggrin1:

BTW, "Jaime844" (who has been registered since April 2006), what made you decide to suddenly respond to this thread, after 18 months of lurking?

I wondered the same thing . . .

I agree with you. The black-and-white straight/gay distinction should be thrown in the rubbish bin, both because its incorrect and because it causes quite alot of negative guilt and friction among people.

Really? Seems to me the only people feeling negative guilt or friction are those confused about which of the 3 very simple categories they fall into.

Heretosexism? Are you nuts?

She stated an absolute fact: there are men who have no desire to be with other men. Sorry, but it's true.

Thank you rowing88! I know I live in rural Georgia now but I used to live up north and didn't think I had completely lost touch with reality.

 

[gjorg]

There is only about 15% of men out their who will never have contact with another man sexually at least once in their life!

 

[D_Bob_Crotchitch]

put a bag over your head and draw a chicks face on it

:lmao:

 

[rob_just_rob]

There is only about 15% of men out their who will never have contact with another man sexually at least once in their life!

And...?

 

[Freddie53]

Quote:
Originally Posted by gjorg

There is only about 15% of men out their who will never have contact with another man sexually at least once in their life!

And...?

It is your responsibility to see that these 15 % get the opportunity!:biggrin1:

 

[Freddie53]

Again, sexuality is what you are. Not what you do.

For another shot at what several of us have tried to say.

Straight - a person who fantasizes, finds the more sexually arousing etc a person of the opposite gender.

Gay - A person who fantasizes, fine the more sexually arousing etc a person of the same gender.

Bi - A person who fantasizes, finds sexually arousing both genders.

There are a few that are 100 % straight and a few that are 100 % gay. That is the definition is true, has always been true and always will be true.

Then there are the majority of people who are basically straight, but have some gay tendencies and some who are gay who have some straight tendencies.

Then there are some that have no preference which gender it is, it is a matter of the person himself or herself being appealing to them at the time of encounter.

A person's sexual encounters tells nothing about that person's sexual identity. A penis has no brain. It doesn't know the difference between a vagina, an asshole, a hand, a mouth, a vibrator or a shower curtain.

It is the brain that knows the difference. The penis is going to respond to anything that rubs it the right way. It doesn't mean that the guy is in love with and wants to have a deep abiding love with the vibrator he is using. The guy is not likely to take the shower curtain with him on a romantic weekend on the beach. If the guy is horny, especially in the teens and twenties, his penis will respond happily to whatever is there. Hell, at that age the penis just may on its own have a wonderful time all by itself and get totally erect and cum in its master's pants no matter how hard the master tries to get his penis's attention away from cumming. No matter how much cum is showing and how large the spot is. Doesn't matter. This is sexual urge. It is not synonymous with sexual attraction.

I believe that many in this post are confusing sexual urge and a guy's longing to take care of it and sexual attraction. An analogy is having a very urgent need to piss. If the urge to piss is strong enough, the guy really doesn't care about the urinal or toilet, if others are watching etc. He just wants to take care of this urgent need as he is in real strong pain and it is increasingly getting harder to control his bladder There is no attraction to the urinal. The same thing can happen when the sexual urge is that strong. Guys want to take care of it and anything and everything can make that urge stronger.

Where am I going with this? A guy with a very strong sexual urge at a given moment will have that urge increase even more by most anything that touches it. Sexual attraction isn't always the major factor here.

This has very little correlation to a guy wanting to develop a long term relationship with a significant other. A guy would only be bi if he truly is capable of having that long term relationship including romantic love with either gender. That would make him bi.

Guys that could not have a true longtime romantic relationship with a woman but could with a man is going to be gay.

Guys that could not have a true longtime romantic relationship with a guy, but could with a woman is going to be straight.

The fact that a guy at any given moment has a sexual attraction with anything or anybody doesn't necessarily relate to anything concerning his overall sexuality.

For daily attractions, there is a simple test to determine if a guy is straight, bi or gay.

Looking at porn. If a guy only finds the male pics arousing he is gay. If the guy only finds the gal pics arousing, he is straight. If a guy finds both gal and guy pics sexually arousing, then he is bi.

I am happily married. There is no sexual attraction there now. Once upon a time, I could become aroused by my wife, though usually I had fantasies in my head during sex about men.

Now, I don't find porn about women arousing at all. But the guy pics are very arousing.

I am a closeted gay who was able to function as a straight guy for many years. I functioned as a straight guy, but I never was really straight.

At my age and health condition sexual activity isn't what it used to be. My wife lost all interest in sex after the birth of our last child. So it is all academic. I love my wife as a companion. She loves me that way the same.

Each situation is different. There are always cases that don't fit the universal descriptions. That is because humans are extremely customized. We aren't assembly line productions and all are identically just the same. Three models to choose from, Gay, Bi Straight.

And when you go to the display case, Mother nature says, "All the models marked straight are all just alike. Same for the bi models and gay models. It just doesn't happen that way. Each model is an extremely customized model. There are no two made just alike.

 

[deepdick]

So, was he right? Men or women?

 

[DC_DEEP]

Human sexuality and little metal cans are not remotely comparable. Have you so loose a grasp on logic that you think that actually makes sense? Here's the kicker: you don't have the right to label others for them because you're uncomfortable with it.

You are wrong, Your Royal Denseness. My comment simply meant that you can call youself whatever you choose to call yourself, but that does not change reality.

That depends entirely on what you mean by "repeated" and "periodically." You can't force a number on a blurry continuum. People with a predominant interest in the opposite sex are classified as straight. That doesn't mean there's some arbitrary cutoff where they're no longer straight. Each person sets that line individually, and it's not up to anyone else to determine.

No, you can't force a number. But are you denying that there's a difference between saying "I tried sex with men a couple of times, and did not enjoy it; I won't do it again" and saying "I tried sex with men, and I enjoy it, so I will most likely do it again"?

I'm not sure why it's so hard for you to be comfortable outside of a walled fort. Human sexuality is a continuum; get used to ambiguity.

I'm not sure where you keep getting this little "walled fort" reference. For some (like myself), it is a discrete non-continuum. I have had sex with women before. I do not have any sexual desire for women, at all. That's why I describe myself as gay. For others, there is some sexual attraction to both genders, usually with a tendency toward one or the other. That's the continuum, and what is known as bisexual. I don't deny that it exists, I don't deny that it's probably more common than most people realize. I'm just saying that if you fall outside the continuum, you are either gay or straight. If you fall within the continuum, you are bisexual.

I already have. If you feel the need for added clarification, read any text on human sexuality, or just go to Wikipedia if you're that intimidated by actual knowledge.

You have not. I asked you a direct question. I didn't ask for "wikipedia" references (we all know how fabulously accurate that is). I am not intimidated by you or your snide comments or actual knowledge. I asked you a simple question, and you are too intimidated to give me a simple direct answer. I'll ask my simple, direct question again. If you have any balls, you will answer it.

In your own words, define heterosexual, bisexual, and homosexual. (And if you can think of another category besides these three, please feel free to fill me in and educate me.)

It's a lame attempt at humor. It's also a confused mockery of a semantic designation you don't understand. If you're claiming to be "100% straight" that's quite a different thing from being "straight".
What's truly amazing is how protective a bunch of repressed and insecure people are over the term "straight." So terrified, in fact, that they have to make a homophobic attack on "self-loathers" for people that infringe on their sacred territory.

How does recognizing the fact that I'm only sexually attracted to one gender make me repressed, insecure, and terrified? Seems to me those labels would be more appropriate to those who call themselves straight while having sex with men.

Oh, and would you care to fill in your profile so we can see your age and orientation? Or are you too repressed, insecure, and terrified to do so?

DC, don't waste your time. Apparently for "Jaime", there are two types of men: Those who have sex with both men and women, and those who just have sex with men. "Straight" and "Bisexual" mean the same thing to him, regardless of how confusing that is to the rest of us.

If you disagree, he'll label you narrowminded or intolerant, even though what you are is "literate", which is apparently a bad thing now.

Well, it would seem that by his definition, bisexual and homosexual do not exist. All men are straight, regardless of whom they choose to have sex with.

There is only about 15% of men out their who will never have contact with another man sexually at least once in their life!

Not being argumentative, just curious: source for your stats? That 15% sounds to me like they may actually be straight!

 

[dreamer20]

Gay - A person who fantasizes, fine the more sexually arousing etc a person of the opposite gender.

Oops! You did it again. :biggrin1:

 

[jaime844]

DC, don't waste your time. Apparently for "Jaime", there are two types of men: Those who have sex with both men and women, and those who just have sex with men. "Straight" and "Bisexual" mean the same thing to him, regardless of how confusing that is to the rest of us.

It's confusing only because you're not capable of processing English, evidently.

Straight and bisexual are not the same. Bisexual people, as Freddie pointed out, have no predominant preference for either sex. They're the middle of the spectrum.

If you disagree, he'll label you narrowminded or intolerant, even though what you are is "literate", which is apparently a bad thing now.

If by 'literate' you mean 'unread and unthinking' then absolutely, I agree.

But are you denying that there's a difference between saying "I tried sex with men a couple of times, and did not enjoy it; I won't do it again" and saying "I tried sex with men, and I enjoy it, so I will most likely do it again"?

Of course there's a difference. What's your point? Put another way, how is it that you're comfortable with the widely accepted system on this board of "% straight, % gay" but surprisingly refuse to admit degrees of sexuality?

For others, there is some sexual attraction to both genders, usually with a tendency toward one or the other. That's the continuum, and what is known as bisexual.

Thousands of experts disagree. Congratulations on redefining the science for all of us.

I'm just saying that if you fall outside the continuum, you are either gay or straight.

If you fall outside the continuum, you're asexual. Someone has a damaged logic center.

In your own words, define heterosexual, bisexual, and homosexual. (And if you can think of another category besides these three, please feel free to fill me in and educate me.)

Heterosexual: having a clearly predominant sexual preference for members of the opposite sex
Homosexual: having a clearly predominant preference for members of the same sex
Bisexual: having no predominant preference as to sex

How does recognizing the fact that I'm only sexually attracted to one gender make me repressed, insecure, and terrified?

Where do you make the leap that you're a member of the group described?

All men are straight, regardless of whom they choose to have sex with.

Nonsense. By your definition, there are no straight people, and at least 80% of the population is lying when describing themselves as straight.

Your definition, in addition to directly conflicting with accepted usage, failure to conform to any dictionary standard, and generally being unachievable, is also in direct contradiction with the works and definitions of experts in the field, as repeatedly illustrated. Where you get your authority is beyond anyone here.

You don't get to label other people, and you especially don't get to do it without any academic, scientific, linguistic, or societal grounds.

 

[ActionBuddy]

...
Straight - a person who fantasizes, finds the more sexually arousing etc a person of the same gender.

Gay - A person who fantasizes, finds the more sexually arousing etc a person of the opposite gender.

Ummm, Freddie, somehow you got this switched.