Today proved to be a first for me.
While awaiting my car to be serviced, I was seated in the waiting room reading a newspaper and overheard this guy (MUCH! younger than I) just around the corner making conversation with the receptionist...discussing his coming holiday meal at home, recipes, etc....nothing too important.
I kept sensing "someone" watching me ('ever had that feeling?) and as I put the newspaper down to select another section to begin reading, I caught this guy
"eye-ballinging me" as he was talking to this woman at the desk. I continued reading, not really paying that much attention. He and she continued their chat and again I was changing newspaper sections when I noticed this guy STILL watching me most carefully. (I can't imagine what the woman must have thought about his diverted attention away from her!) About that moment, he then proceeded to walk down the hall to the men's room. I was shocked at what I saw and I most certainly wasn't imagining it. He was showing quite "a tent" for sure---and, I don't think he was intending to go camping! He stayed in the rest room for ever so long. I had finished reading the newspaper when he finally reappeared. Without trying to be obvious, I used my peripheral vision to see if he was still going to be staring at me as he was going by. Well, he sure was! He walked on away and then on out into the sales showroom--thank goodness. For a moment, (and still even now!) I don't quite know what to make of this. COULD it be what I suspect (or, what some of you are surmising reading this!). Was this guy REALLY aroused by seeing ME? Not intending to flatter myself here, I just can't recall such a thing ever happening to me before. This really stunned me, today.
The mystery is I was seated and wearing loose-fitting docker slacks...with no prominent "suggestions" in view.
Plus, I was further "covered" with newspapers everywhere. So, what triggered his reaction? Whatsmore, the lady this guy was talking to was OVER TWICE HIS AGE and the "grandmotherly type" at that. Now, if SHE turned him on, I could personally accept that fact much better than MY turning him on! I just can't bring myself to accept what I'm suspecting here. Somehow, I seem to dislike having that kind of "effect" on another man! I know its bound to happen to others day-in and day-out. But this was the first-ever such occurance involving ME which I can recall in my lifetime. I've been totally oblivious to them if they HAVE ever occurred during my life! Sounding yet more self-boasting---they probably have indeed occurred! ;D
--I probably just wasn't paying attention.
Someone reading this might want to instantly apply the term "homophobic" to what I'm suggesting, but I don't think that's really the case here, or-- is it? I want to say that I have a handle on my views on that issue. I know it (and, our readers should know it!) I hate labels and I try to treat everyone here (and in my daily walk) with the same respect for being the individuals each of us are...which btw, I've come to realize (via early-life painful experiences!) is not necessarily by choice, either.
I don't think I am subconsciously feeling "gay" by having this kind of attention paid me. But yet, maybe that IS the disconcerting notion though, that's behind all this reaction of mine from today's odd moment. It could be. But, really, I would feel quite disappointed in myself, though! I would think I could at least look beyond that kind of thinking!--I know what happened today is in NO WAY reflective of MY sexual preference.
( now talking to myself) "So---get over it, Bender!"
My mentioning this happening at all today is in no way intended to make waves. Being "straight", this was a very different, (new!) situation for me to encounter... and I've really learned from it. Until today, I had never even thought (that much) about how a heterosexual man feels or reacts when he is being "oggled" by another guy like I was today---and, this time, it was even AWAY from a urinal,locker room, shower stall, etc..
I thought todays situation would be worth noting here because I feel there are perhaps other men in our group who (like me) would also find this very bizarre. Many here might even feel somewhat flattered perhaps for having evoked that kind of reaction from another man, I don't know. But, for those of you who have had similar life experiences yourselves from "admirers" (which you really didn't welcome or appreciate and couldn't ever own up to it occurring), you know now that you're not by yourself. Looks like now, I've been there, too! And, as I've noted often in my other posts--'seems we're ALL in such good company here, quite often!
I don't mean to equate today's chapter in my life as some "kiss of death" or a life-shattering experience whereby life will no longer ever be the same for me as it once was. Not at all. But, it was just somehow such a "different" life-pausing moment--very unexpected and somewhat bewildering all at the same time. It obviously has had me thinking all day--trying to sort it all out.
??? Well, this all happend several hours ago, now.
And, while in retrospect, I can feel a bit flattered today (I suppose?)
...I still remain perturbed about it somehow.
-----------------------
Anyone wanting to know what else happened---did I ever see this guy again today? --NO.
I paid my bill and "got out of Dodge" rather quickly.
(afterall, it WAS a Chrysler car dealer!)
... get it? "Dodge" (CHRYSLER!) ;D
While awaiting my car to be serviced, I was seated in the waiting room reading a newspaper and overheard this guy (MUCH! younger than I) just around the corner making conversation with the receptionist...discussing his coming holiday meal at home, recipes, etc....nothing too important.
I kept sensing "someone" watching me ('ever had that feeling?) and as I put the newspaper down to select another section to begin reading, I caught this guy
"eye-ballinging me" as he was talking to this woman at the desk. I continued reading, not really paying that much attention. He and she continued their chat and again I was changing newspaper sections when I noticed this guy STILL watching me most carefully. (I can't imagine what the woman must have thought about his diverted attention away from her!) About that moment, he then proceeded to walk down the hall to the men's room. I was shocked at what I saw and I most certainly wasn't imagining it. He was showing quite "a tent" for sure---and, I don't think he was intending to go camping! He stayed in the rest room for ever so long. I had finished reading the newspaper when he finally reappeared. Without trying to be obvious, I used my peripheral vision to see if he was still going to be staring at me as he was going by. Well, he sure was! He walked on away and then on out into the sales showroom--thank goodness. For a moment, (and still even now!) I don't quite know what to make of this. COULD it be what I suspect (or, what some of you are surmising reading this!). Was this guy REALLY aroused by seeing ME? Not intending to flatter myself here, I just can't recall such a thing ever happening to me before. This really stunned me, today.
The mystery is I was seated and wearing loose-fitting docker slacks...with no prominent "suggestions" in view.
Plus, I was further "covered" with newspapers everywhere. So, what triggered his reaction? Whatsmore, the lady this guy was talking to was OVER TWICE HIS AGE and the "grandmotherly type" at that. Now, if SHE turned him on, I could personally accept that fact much better than MY turning him on! I just can't bring myself to accept what I'm suspecting here. Somehow, I seem to dislike having that kind of "effect" on another man! I know its bound to happen to others day-in and day-out. But this was the first-ever such occurance involving ME which I can recall in my lifetime. I've been totally oblivious to them if they HAVE ever occurred during my life! Sounding yet more self-boasting---they probably have indeed occurred! ;D
--I probably just wasn't paying attention.
Someone reading this might want to instantly apply the term "homophobic" to what I'm suggesting, but I don't think that's really the case here, or-- is it? I want to say that I have a handle on my views on that issue. I know it (and, our readers should know it!) I hate labels and I try to treat everyone here (and in my daily walk) with the same respect for being the individuals each of us are...which btw, I've come to realize (via early-life painful experiences!) is not necessarily by choice, either.
I don't think I am subconsciously feeling "gay" by having this kind of attention paid me. But yet, maybe that IS the disconcerting notion though, that's behind all this reaction of mine from today's odd moment. It could be. But, really, I would feel quite disappointed in myself, though! I would think I could at least look beyond that kind of thinking!--I know what happened today is in NO WAY reflective of MY sexual preference.
( now talking to myself) "So---get over it, Bender!"
My mentioning this happening at all today is in no way intended to make waves. Being "straight", this was a very different, (new!) situation for me to encounter... and I've really learned from it. Until today, I had never even thought (that much) about how a heterosexual man feels or reacts when he is being "oggled" by another guy like I was today---and, this time, it was even AWAY from a urinal,locker room, shower stall, etc..
I thought todays situation would be worth noting here because I feel there are perhaps other men in our group who (like me) would also find this very bizarre. Many here might even feel somewhat flattered perhaps for having evoked that kind of reaction from another man, I don't know. But, for those of you who have had similar life experiences yourselves from "admirers" (which you really didn't welcome or appreciate and couldn't ever own up to it occurring), you know now that you're not by yourself. Looks like now, I've been there, too! And, as I've noted often in my other posts--'seems we're ALL in such good company here, quite often!
I don't mean to equate today's chapter in my life as some "kiss of death" or a life-shattering experience whereby life will no longer ever be the same for me as it once was. Not at all. But, it was just somehow such a "different" life-pausing moment--very unexpected and somewhat bewildering all at the same time. It obviously has had me thinking all day--trying to sort it all out.
??? Well, this all happend several hours ago, now.
And, while in retrospect, I can feel a bit flattered today (I suppose?)
...I still remain perturbed about it somehow.
-----------------------
Anyone wanting to know what else happened---did I ever see this guy again today? --NO.
I paid my bill and "got out of Dodge" rather quickly.
(afterall, it WAS a Chrysler car dealer!)
... get it? "Dodge" (CHRYSLER!) ;D