Street harassment

[Ocine]

Harassement for me is a strong word, and on that video its not harassement, its just some maybe unwelcome comments and some are stupid, but not enough for being classifed as harassement... again its my opinion

honestly I didnt read all the posts but people drama too much on this video, so I wanted to share my though

If thoses guys was keep asking number, or saying hello... following her etc for hours or day yeah it should be harassement
but here, they just say something for like 5sec and then the girl never see thoses guys again.. its finish
I dont defend them because like I said generaly its stupid comments, but not harassement
and yeah there a guy who follow her for like 5 min ? but well its not like he was grabbing her, or keep talking to her for know her name, phone, where she live etc... and the girl never said a "no" maybe he wouldnt follow her if she say no im not itnerested, who know ?

Anyaways Harassement is alot more "dangerous" than what we see in this video, like sexual harassement in work, or mental harassement ..
ive seen some real story about that, where like the boss (job) of someone keep telling hes a shit, he will never can do something good in his life, days after days he was just saying his a shit etc .. and the guy (the victim) at the end really though he was a shit , so all the little fault he did during his job he think he deserved to be insulted for that, he wanted to suicide, and his social life was totaly destroyed .... THIS is harassement (for me)

 

[TexanStar]

Harassement for me is a strong word, and on that video its not harassement, its just some maybe unwelcome comments and some are stupid, but not enough for being classifed as harassement... again its my opinion

honestly I didnt read all the posts but people drama too much on this video, so I wanted to share my though

If thoses guys was keep asking number, or saying hello... following her etc for hours or day yeah it should be harassement
but here, they just say something for like 5sec and then the girl never see thoses guys again.. its finish
I dont defend them because like I said generaly its stupid comments, but not harassement
and yeah there a guy who follow her for like 5 min ? but well its not like he was grabbing her, or keep talking to her for know her name, phone, where she live etc... and the girl never said a "no" maybe he wouldnt follow her if she say no im not itnerested, who know ?

Anyaways Harassement is alot more "dangerous" than what we see in this video, like sexual harassement in work, or mental harassement ..
ive seen some real story about that, where like the boss (job) of someone keep telling hes a shit, he will never can do something good in his life, days after days he was just saying his a shit etc .. and the guy (the victim) at the end really though he was a shit , so all the little fault he did during his job he think he deserved to be insulted for that, he wanted to suicide, and his social life was totaly destroyed .... THIS is harassement (for me)

[Women] Here are some examples of behavior that can make us feel uncomfortable or threatened.
[Nehoo] That's not harassment. Harassment is the kind of stuff that happens to other guys I know.



Look dude, the video was trying to be educational about the kinds of behaviors guys sometimes engage in that they think is innocent or harmless courting/flirtation that women can be made very uncomfortable by.

You're not on a jury deciding whether or not the guy who walked alongside the women for 5 minutes should be going to jail or not. It's to educate you about the kind of shit that women have to put up with, so that if you do say hello to a woman you don't know and she doesn't respond, you don't take it personally (-vs- chasing behind her asking why she won't give you her number etc).

What happened to some guy you know is irrelevant in the context of this discussion.

 

[deleted848353]

Anyaways Harassement is alot more "dangerous" than what we see in this video, like sexual harassement in work, or mental harassement ..
ive seen some real story about that, where like the boss (job) of someone keep telling hes a shit, he will never can do something good in his life, days after days he was just saying his a shit etc .. and the guy (the victim) at the end really though he was a shit , so all the little fault he did during his job he think he deserved to be insulted for that, he wanted to suicide, and his social life was totaly destroyed .... THIS is harassement (for me)

No that is bullying not harrassment.

 

[bavmotors1]

Forgive me if this has already been said, there are a lot of tangents in this thread. Nothing any one guy did in the video is harassment because it was all there and gone. The follower...maybe. But taken as a whole the woman was harassed (if we forget that this is an edited to make a point video - she likely isn't THAT harassed for ten hours straight). That's the disconnect. The blame cannot be laid at any one person's feet. None of men singularly are harassing her but she is being harassed.

For a while I did the Louis CK thing of "fuck it, I'll say it and see what happens" because I could hide behind the idea of this is five seconds of my life and I lose nothing by trying to catch her attention because something could happen, a friendship or more could be born. But I forget it is also five seconds of her life and I know when I want to be left the fuck alone, literally any and everything people say is nails on a chalkboard no matter how nice or clever it is. Honestly the nicer or more clever it is, the worse it is. So now I just try to inner monologue it and say nothing. Most of the time I am successful but sometimes I am one of those guys. Sorry ladies, I'm trying!

Women, and if we are being honest attractive women more so, have to deal with a level of the public thinking they owe them something. Think of celebrities and paparazzi - same idea. The answer is for us guys to realize that our clever little comment, or respectful compliment is the 100th time she's heard that this month and maybe keep it to ourselves and let her alone to go about her day.

 

[Curiosity999]

yeah, i mean, those wolf whistles and those chicks asking for his number.I cant comprehend what it must be like to be harassed like that.Poor guy!

The difference is, if one of those women overstepped their bounds, he's more than physically capable of defending himself. There's always that "what if he tries to take it further" in the back of our minds when it comes to strangers and cat calling! Therein lies the difference, whether its rational to you or not.

 

[Ocine]

[Women] Here are some examples of behavior that can make us feel uncomfortable or threatened.
[Nehoo] That's not harassment. Harassment is the kind of stuff that happens to other guys I know.

Lol.... No i never said that, Like I wrote, ive seen some story, not personnal people I know, it was just for make an exemple of harassement, and as you can see my exemple was totaly different in what we can see in the video

Again I never said its wasnt stupid or educate I just said its not harassement

Im not a judge, but go in jail for following someone for 5 min ? I hope you are kidding
I don't see what is wrong with just a "Hello" or "phone number" if the guy just say it one time and then the girl never heard of him ... its just 5sec of her life, tomorrow she will totaly forget this guy
And again I don't say its not stupid or not an annoying comment, but its not a "drama"


My story again was just an exemple of what I call harassement, and I dont know this guy lol, IN THIS VIDEO we don't see any things of my exemple, see im talking about the video ?

And Vereeesa maybe you are right, I though Harrassment = Harcèlement in french (the word is similar) but if its bullying what I talking about, maybe im wrong

For me harassement or "harcèlement" its something who stay in the time, day after day during week, months or years ...
Like Street Harassement would be a guy who wait at your door and follow you when you go outside, or talk to you, all days long... and then you start to be scared to go out, because you think the guy will be again here...waiting you
but like Vareeesa said maybe its bullying what im talking about

 

[Serial Kisser]

I've been running on the main road in my neighborhood and had a man in his car do TWO U-Turns to turn around and follow me, then pull up beside me and ask me for my number.
Do you consider that harassment? Or should I just be flattered? How do I know he's not going to try to pull me into his car ?

 

[emperor]

I've been running on the main road in my neighborhood and had a man in his car do TWO U-Turns to turn around and follow me, then pull up beside me and ask me for my number.
Do you consider that harassment? Or should I just be flattered? How do I know he's not going to try to pull me into his car ?

What do you suggest be done about such behavior? By that I mean, when the police are directed to your call, what criminal act would you say was committed?

 

[Serial Kisser]

What do you suggest be done about such behavior? By that I mean, when the police are directed to your call, what criminal act would you say was committed?

I wouldn't call the police about it, but it's a perfect example of that type of harassment. I run with a pretty pink can of mace. But I shouldn't have to.

 

[Ocine]

If he would put you in his car it should be an agression

maybe it was scary yeah because you don't know what will happend but finaly he just asked you that and gone ? and you never see him follow you again, so yeah it was a creepy/awkward move by him but its not harassement because he didn't keep doing this for make you scared and play with your nerf ?
I think he just find you attractive and try his chance, again it was creepy but not harassement

but agin maybe im confused the word harassement and bullying

 

[Serial Kisser]

If he would put you in his car it should be an agression

maybe it was scary yeah because you don't know what will happend but finaly he just asked you that and gone ? and you never see him follow you again, so yeah it was a creepy/awkward move by him but its not harassement because he didn't keep doing this for make you scared and play with your nerf ?
I think he just find you attractive and try his chance, again it was creepy but not harassement

but agin maybe im confused the word harassement and bullying

Watching a car speed up to pull two U-turns on a quiet neighborhood street ..only to see him pull up on the grass next to me while running... You honestly don't see how that could be threatening?????


What about when a woman politely tells a man 'no thanks, I'm not interested' and she goes to leave the bar, only to have her friend ring her on her cell to tell her to turn around and come back because the guy she POLITELY said no thanks to ran out to his car and sped after her to follow her...


Would you consider that harassment ?? Because that happened to me too.

No, you'll just make up some excuse that I don't know that guy was following me and could have been leaving on his own. OR he could have been following my out of the bar for god knows what reason.


Why is it so hard to accept that this is the reality women deal with ? Oh I know. Because you're not women, you've never had to feel this way, so it is IMPOSSIBLE for you to empathize.

 

[TheBestYouCan]

I guess my confusion about this thread really comes down to "what is the point?".

If you feel you are being harassed in the street then you should definitely let the harasser know you don't appreciate their comments and move on.

I know many women would say "Well what if that pisses off the guy and he tries to retaliate physically?".

Well that's what mace, tasers, and guns are for.

Again, I know many women would say "well I shouldn't have to carry those things". No, you shouldn't. There also shouldn't have to be police that carry weapons, but there are. I shouldn't have to lock my car when I leave it on the street, but I do have to. I shouldn't have to lock my house when I leave it, but I do. We shouldn't have to teach kids not to accept candy and rides from strangers, but we do. This is the reality, the world in which we live.

In the end it is about personal liberty. These guys have a right to say whatever they want to you as long as they aren't following you and invading your personal space. You have a right to defend your person if you feel threatened.

While videos like this, I would argue, are helpful in letting some men know how women feel about this type of behavior, there will still be guys that behave this way. If you do not like it, then say something and always be prepared to protect your person and your right to life and liberty.

 

[Ocine]

Watching a car speed up to pull two U-turns on a quiet neighborhood street ..only to see him pull up on the grass next to me while running... You honestly don't see how that could be threatening?????

Ive just explained what I think of that..

 

[TexanStar]

No one said you fucking shirtless mouthbreathers can't say hello!

Are you DEAF?

Are you ILLITERATE?

PLEASE SHUT THE GODDAMN FUCK UP ABOUT NOT BEING ABLE TO SAY HELLO! NO ONE SAID YOU SHOULDN"T BE DOING THAT!

Jesus fucking christ!

 

[Ocine]

What about when a woman politely tells a man 'no thanks, I'm not interested' and she goes to leave the bar, only to have her friend ring her on her cell to tell her to turn around and come back because the guy she POLITELY said no thanks to ran out to his car and sped after her to follow her...


Would you consider that harassment ?? Because that happened to me too.

No, you'll just make up some excuse that I don't know that guy was following me and could have been leaving on his own. OR he could have been following my out of the bar for god knows what reason.


Why is it so hard to accept that this is the reality women deal with ? Oh I know. Because you're not women, you've never had to feel this way, so it is IMPOSSIBLE for you to empathize.

Do ill have to explain myself on all what happened to you in your life, you are the judge you can decide of what or what wasnt harassement no?

Then if you clarly say "no thanks" to him and he keep asking you or follow you yeah it should be harassement


Yeah you don't know him maybe he was a serial killer (serial kisser ) or something... or maybe he was just wanted to talk with you and be nice, but again if you said no thanks and he keep coming than he shouldnt be a nice guy if he can't understand this...
But if he did nothing more then no its not harasement...
for exemple if he was a serial killer and ask you, your number, and you answer him "no" and then he gone and you never see him again, he could be a serial killer that wasnt harassement...

I accept it, women get harassed, men get harassed and also children, its not a secret, but like I said before you use a strong word for "little situation" like in the video...

Oh so you think only women get harassed ? oh yeah im a male so im too strong and i cant be harassed by anyone.....
Like your exemple about the guy who follow you while you running

It could happened to me, like I run and then a car stop and turn around for me and stop next to it, and then a big guy is in here, or maybe 4 guys and start to talk to me, im alone maybe they have knife etc... yeah it could be scary but if he just asked me for where is the street xxxx ? then its not harassement....

I just give my opinion, I cant argu properly in english and I don't want too always explain myself on all your exemples... you are the judge, its your life you decide if you get harassed or not

 

[Ocine]

No one said you fucking shirtless mouthbreathers can't say hello!

Are you DEAF?

Are you ILLITERATE?

PLEASE SHUT THE GODDAMN FUCK UP ABOUT NOT BEING ABLE TO SAY HELLO! NO ONE SAID YOU SHOULDN"T BE DOING THAT!

Jesus fucking christ!

I hope you arent talking to me because maybe my english is bad, but I never said , that what Serial kisser said was : we can't say a "Hello"

and please calm down are you in your period ?

 

[Serial Kisser]

I hope you arent talking to me because maybe my english is bad, but I never said , that what Serial kisser said was : we can't say a "Hello"

and please calm down are you in your period ?

First of all ... please quote the post where I said "You can't say hello."
Because I'm pretty sure I never said that.

And second ... there you go. Telling him to calm down because he's on his period. THAT is a dig at women. You guys don't even fucking realize how often you put down and degrade women. "Don't be a pussy" "What are you on your period?" "Man up"

I'm so done with this shit.

 

[emperor]

I wouldn't call the police about it, but it's a perfect example of that type of harassment. I run with a pretty pink can of mace. But I shouldn't have to.

Oh ok...the longer this thread goes on, the more I fear some folk see legislation of some type as a solution.

Harassment is a fact of life. It's one thing to be followed by a strange, threatening car where you feel your physical safety is at threat...it's another thing to get unsolicited phone calls from telemarketers during dinner, or someone saying 'hey mami, smile!' to you on the street. Reading about rape stories ITT is depressing...but what is more depressing is the anti social, anti-male bandwagonry demonstrated here, where all undesirable attention (which can range from staring to physical rape) are placed under the same banner, without a need to draw distinctions.

Then there are the chumps who dont see beyond their short sighted, impulsive desire to jump at women's defenses. These are the fools who shoot their own feet, thinking that they are so 'above' the brutish cat-callers because they identify with and support the backlash against 'street harassment'. The next obvious step to this line of thinking is the promotion of anti-social behavior, PERIOD...ie "dont stare, dont smile, dont complement, dont talk, etc to strange women, they are threatened by you". Is that what you want our society to become, serial kisser? because some creep made a u-turn to ask for your number? You want every male to never approach you? If men don't do the approaching (including the cruder approaches which comes with the territory of being the approacher, ie, not all men are going to be refined, literary word-smiths that will seduce you with prose)

Nobody stands to benefit from anti-social societies...sort how a heterosexual person like myself can never truly feel comfortable around a child because society deemed child molestation and my likelihood being a pedophile a frequent enough and probable threat...now, any innocent mundane interaction between a strange guy and a kid is looked on with suspicion and disapproval.

Now some people here want to extend this uncomfortable state of affairs to new demographic set of people?

I can get why Serial Kisser and Alteredego are swayed by their own negative experiences...But the male chumps who cant see the big picture (promotion of Anti-social societies, and criminalizing mundane activities by males) are baffling.

 

[Ocine]

First of all ... please quote the post where I said "You can't say hello."
Because I'm pretty sure I never said that.

And second ... there you go. Telling him to calm down because he's on his period. THAT is a dig at women. You guys don't even fucking realize how often you put down and degrade women. "Don't be a pussy" "What are you on your period?" "Man up"

I'm so done with this shit.

Lol Serial that what I said... sorry I had trouble for get this sentence, I never said you can't say a Hello, that what I tried to explain sorry if you misunderstand me, but its the fault of TEXAN ahaha, he misunderstand my post (if he was talking to me, since he didnt quote anything...)

And I did that joke by my own, because I was 100% sure you will get angry by that lol, like on the other post with Wolverine joke, if I did that its just for you take it easy...lol awww I guess ill stop my joke
My female friend take it with the smile but I know them... you I know your personnality (a bit) and I was sure you gonne be offended by that... jsut take it easy, there girls who do joke on male too, Im not offended (well depends of the situation again lol)

Ok I stop to answer here, im sure Texan will Harass me ((

 

[Serial Kisser]

Lol Serial that what I said... sorry I had trouble for get this sentence, I never said you can't say a Hello, that what I tried to explain sorry if you misunderstand me, but its the fault of TEXAN ahaha, he misunderstand my post (if he was talking to me, since he didnt quote anything...)

And I did that joke by my own, because I was 100% sure you will get angry by that lol, like on the other post with Wolverine joke, if I did that its just for you take it easy...lol awww I guess ill stop my joke
My female friend take it with the smile but I know them... you I know your personnality (a bit) and I was sure you gonne be offended by that... jsut take it easy, there girls who do joke on male too, Im not offended (well depends of the situation again lol)

Ok I stop to answer here, im sure Texan will Harass me ((

Are you kidding me?
You joke about shit like that just to rile someone up ? and then say LOL sorry!? What the hell is wrong with you?
What that idiot said wasn't a joke, and he backpedaled to say it was because someone called him out on it.
It happens all of the time.

Another one for the ignore list. That's a record.