Street harassment

[Tight_N_Juicy]

Of course, no matter how many women tell you guys (those of you claiming this is just a TV set up) that this DOES happen, and for many it IS a problem, and that women DO get hurt in these situations sometimes, you're just gonna shrug it off and say we're making it up or exaggerating for the sake of getting attention, or whatever.

I'm just glad the men close to me in my life aren't like that. I guess I just got lucky.

 

[ronin001]

Hi Ro,

I did wonder if it was edited, or if she employed ppl to act annoying to make it seem worse.

Maybe it's completely legit, but I'm not convinced.

Hey Jolly, always good to hear comments from another level headed male

 

[2_fister]

Of course, no matter how many women tell you guys (those of you claiming this is just a TV set up) that this DOES happen, and for many it IS a problem, and that women DO get hurt in these situations sometimes, you're just gonna shrug it off and say we're making it up or exaggerating for the sake of getting attention, or whatever.

I'm just glad the men close to me in my life aren't like that. I guess I just got lucky.

Yes. There are plenty of men who say stupid shit to women as they walk down the street. But that particular vid was in fact very edited ...they edited out most of the white men.
Catcalling video: Hollaback's look at street harassment in NYC edited out the white guys.

 

[Enid]

Of course, no matter how many women tell you guys (those of you claiming this is just a TV set up) that this DOES happen, and for many it IS a problem, and that women DO get hurt in these situations sometimes, you're just gonna shrug it off and say we're making it up or exaggerating for the sake of getting attention, or whatever.

I'm just glad the men close to me in my life aren't like that. I guess I just got lucky.

Me, too. Oh brother.

My experiences in Texas are somewhat different, but I still get some form of it: the guys at work, the yelling out of cars when I am taking the trash out (I mean that is not daily or anything but it happens sometimes, and yea I am usually wearing my comfy yoga pants when it happens), the guys at the neighborhood pub who come to say hi with whom I like to have a couple minutes pleasant conversation but when I stare pointedly at my book don't get the hint. Many feel compelled to talk about my breasts. As if I asked. It is hard for me not to show cleavage, and ya know what I refuse to wear a burka. But I did not ASK. There's plenty other examples but we ladies all know this, which is why I am super glad Ellie posted it, but to some it falls on deaf ears. And even worse, to some she is inviting it if she's showing any sort of cleavage or has remotely form-fitting clothing.

The video was apparently edited, but street and other forms of harassment are very real. Women seem to be so thoroughly sexualized that they cannot even wear pretty clothes without being bothered because some men can't control themselves, think she is asking for it, or they are so awkward they can't read basic social cues that she just wants to be left alone.

 

[Zyzyz]

What happened next?

A gentleman never tells... :wink:

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

Yes. There are plenty of men who say stupid shit to women as they walk down the street. But that particular vid was in fact very edited ...they edited out most of the white men.
Catcalling video: Hollaback's look at street harassment in NYC edited out the white guys.

I don't give a fuck if it was edited. The point is, This Shit Happens, and for many women it's a hassle, and a problem. I'm not even talking about the damn video anymore, I'm talking about what some of the ladies HERE are saying. I'm talking about things I've heard my whole life.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

I don't live in a place it happens often, but the city is only an hour away. It Has happened to me before, and it isn't bullshit when we say some of these guys cross some fuckin lines.

I also will say, like I said earlier, there are women that Encourage men to act this way, because that's the only way they feel good about themselves. That's a whole issue of it's own... but men shouldn't Assume that because they know a few girls who 'ask for it' that All women want to be talked at like that. The only females I know who consistently seek that kind of attention have some serious issues with self esteem and self-worth.

 

[Zyzyz]

Your post put a couple of thoughts into my head.

...the guys at the neighborhood pub who come to say hi with whom I like to have a couple minutes pleasant conversation but when I stare pointedly at my book don't get the hint.

Men are generally less adept than women at reading body language and reacting to non-verbal cues. In my experience this is more marked in the US than Europe. I suspect this is becoming worse generally because of the reduction in face to face interaction and increase in electronic communication. This is partly because electronically there is less investment in the communication and, more importantly, there is no real world social stigma attached to antisocial behaviour. Pointedly staring at your book may therefore not be a clear enough signal, but, "It's been nice talking to you, but I really need to finish this chapter," might do it. If they didnt get it then, they're clearly stupid or moronic.

Many feel compelled to talk about my breasts. As if I asked.

Beats me why you'd want to chat to these guys at all... Unless these guys are different from the ones you like to chat to in the pub and I'm mistaken.

 

[geek0]

It sad to think that some men might not believe this happens, or that this is some kind of set up. It does happen, every time I leave the house, and it can be intimidating. I wish I could put the doubters into the shoes of a woman for a day just to see how it feels.
I'm not offended by an appreciative glance, smile, nod (which happened to me twice in the space of 15 minutes this morning), not a problem! But I have never appreciated being leered at, shouted at and definitely not being followed by strangers in the street (scary!).
The really sad thing, right or wrong, is that I have just come to accept that this is the way the world is for women. I wish it wasn't, I wish I could say that I don't recognise this behaviour. Then I read comments about this not being so awful a way to behave (aside from the couple of stand out really creepy ones that all agree on), and It brings home what I am up against in trying to get some men to understand how this really feels, that its not cool or flattering.
I can relate to Altered Ego, in that I have boobs and a butt that I don't necessarily flaunt but they can not be hidden, I find comments that this kind of attire is flaunting it ludicrous. Perhaps I should live out my days in a Burka so as not to give out the wrong impression?
To me, it's about stopping to think about how your actions may make someone feel. When I approach a stranger, I do it with respect, I don't know them and I don't know how vulnerable they may feel, I certainly wouldn't start with unwarranted advances or comments about their looks.

 

[Boobalaa]

Exacto Mundo !! By making a video of yourself, about yourself that portrays how certain men react to You during certain situations in certain locations, actually enables the same demeaning behavior you are purportedly attempting to scandalize. The only difference being, people sitting in front/behind ( depends on perspective) their monitors or tablets, can make as many comments as they please as they watch you walk down the street, but you can't hear them.

 

[2_fister]

I don't give a fuck if it was edited. The point is, This Shit Happens, and for many women it's a hassle, and a problem. I'm not even talking about the damn video anymore, I'm talking about what some of the ladies HERE are saying. I'm talking about things I've heard my whole life.

ummmm....ok. Did I not start by saying YES there are plenty of men who say stupid shit to women as they walk down the street? Is it right? Of course not.
And it's awesome that you "don't give a fuck" about Latino and Black men being portrayed in such a negative manner. But as a Black Man I "do give a fuck".

.

 

[deleted871301]

Mmmm... Countries to avoid...

 

[Enid]

Your post put a couple of thoughts into my head.



Men are generally less adept than women at reading body language and reacting to non-verbal cues. In my experience this is more marked in the US than Europe. I suspect this is becoming worse generally because of the reduction in face to face interaction and increase in electronic communication. This is partly because electronically there is less investment in the communication and, more importantly, there is no real world social stigma attached to antisocial behaviour. Pointedly staring at your book may therefore not be a clear enough signal, but, "It's been nice talking to you, but I really need to finish this chapter," might do it. If they didnt get it then, they're clearly stupid or moronic.




Beats me why you'd want to chat to these guys at all... Unless these guys are different from the ones you like to chat to in the pub and I'm mistaken.

Pointedly staring at my book is the most subtle and polite way that I indicate I would like to be alone, but even when I escalate to "Well I'm gonna read a bit now," it is sometimes ignored. They just continue. Not all, but some.

Some of the ones that talk about my breasts ARE ones I'd like to talk to: I can think of a few. They have bright minds otherwise and are interesting, but it just astounds me how they will seamlessly begin talking about my body parts as if it was totally ok, when we were JUST talking about engineering or art.

I just don't get why they think it is ok.

 

[Zyzyz]

...it just astounds me how they will seamlessly begin talking about my body parts as if it was totally ok, when we were JUST talking about engineering or art.

Art: self explanatory.
Engineering: it's amazing, the physics behind a well constructed bra... :wink:

 

[Betty_Cocker]

What happened next?

He leans towards her and tells her to forgive his fowardness, but she has a piece of spinach lodged between her front teeth...

Then turns and walks away.

:rofl:


(he's being a true gentleman)

 

[Zyzyz]

He leans towards her and tells her to forgive his fowardness, but she has a piece of spinach lodged between her front teeth...

Then turns and walks away.

:rofl:


(he's being a true gentleman)

Rotter! Nothing of the sort happened. She hadn't eaten spinach for goodness knows how long as it disagrees with her digestive system. Not that she would tell you that, as you aren't well acquainted and it's not the sort of thing one discusses in polite conversation.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

ummmm....ok. Did I not start by saying YES there are plenty of men who say stupid shit to women as they walk down the street? Is it right? Of course not.
And it's awesome that you "don't give a fuck" about Latino and Black men being portrayed in such a negative manner. But as a Black Man I "do give a fuck".

.

Ok, so I was getting frustrated with the conversation, and worded my last post in a way I can understand it sounds like I'm an asshole who doesn't care about the editing of white men's remarks and the race issue. That's my fuck up, and I'm admitting it. The editing is a whole other topic though, and I was more focused on the part that is the Women's issue. So, sorry I came off like a total asshole.

I'm done with this thread, it's obvious it's getting me too heated. I probably don't have anything else to add anyway. The horse is dead.

 

[TexanStar]

If you actually paid attention your logic of so many foreigners, as you like too call us, chiming in on this thread is a little flawed since roughly 98% of the posts are by US citizens there are a handful who dont disclose their location and only 6 of the posters on it are from Europe so maybe you need to rethink that. So the same thing cant happen outside the US well I disagree i have had the same thing happen to me in the UK.

The remark was about people who haven't been to New York expressing the opinion that because they haven't seen it happen in their country that the video must be fake.

It'd be like me saying "I haven't see much about female circumcision here in Texas, so those articles about female circumcision in Africa and the Middle East must be fabrication".

 

[jimmenycricket]

I recently read an article or heard interview on NPR, please forgive me that I can't remember which, where a man who had spent some time in a conservative Muslim country with his family tells about the harassment his wife was subject to while wearing a complete black head and body covering. It had been to his surprise that women where actually spoken to worse and harassed more frequently than in a western society. I say this in response to some who have said they will not wear a burka, it wouldn't really help anyway and could make things worse. I think it could be helpful for those who feel harassed to look at the power dynamic here a different way. The woman, with their beauty and desirability are the ones with all the power here. In a 10 hr period over 100 men vied for this women's attention. Of course she didn't like it, but it's like paupers begging for crumbs. She knows she is worth much more then these men and she pays them no attention. Heck, they are so out of her league they do not know how to respectfully get her attention. I know I will probably get flamed for this so let me try and mitigate. I do not believe women should be harassed in anyway. People who violate a woman's body and pose a threat to her well being should be dealt with accordingly, to the fullest extent of our laws. Also, to our men I would advise against a lot of the ways they employed to get her attention knowing most of it is ineffective. They should be respectful of her space and finely attuned to her response and body language. And for the men who do harass woman. I apologize to the ladies for them. That being said, as I walk down the Manhattan streets I will still smile, nod my head, hold doors for and say hello to people, and hopefully some of those people will be beautiful women who could appreciate it.

 

[emperor]

She should also blame Kim Kardashian for the unwarranted attention. She looks like a more accessible version of Kim K, walking around Harlem...giving the locals ideas.