WOOOOOAH! Shoo wee! I haven't been in these parts for quite sometime. You guys have been sorely missed and I think of my friends over here very often. The good news is that I've just recently made a member on the bi site that I run a mod so with his help I ought to have free time to spend over here. I decided to share about a recent experience that I've had. This is in response to very kind words given by members with regard to the pics that I've recently uploaded to my gallery. In the past I've shared about it quite a bit about how I've always been incredibly self conscious when it comes to my nudity. I'm not going to go into that whole spiel but to a large degree it has almost been debilitating to be in the buff around people other than my S/O's. Much as I've tried to overcome it as the years have passed by, to a large degree my attempts left me empty handed. The past six months have brought about a whackload of change inside of me and in my life. Nothing could have prepared me for the outcome of my decision to just pack up and relocate to another country. It's been HAAAAARD but beneficial in so many ways. A few weeks ago, I met and became friends with a professional photographer. He is gay, which made our becoming friends even easier. After talking about his love to take black and white arty nude male pics and my telling him about my love for them, he was kind enough to give me the addy to his site so that I could have a look at his work. I was impressed with what he had done and somehow it left me with a "niggly" feeling inside of me to just take the plunge and give things a try. The more that I reflected over the past six months and was able to identify that I have coped with so much more than I would have ever believed that I could, the more my desire grew to push the envelope a little bit further and try to confront this insecurity of mine once and for all. I am very comfortable and at ease with him and it led to me coming up with a brainwave. I decided to book myself into a photoshoot with him, with the view that the pics be Mrs. biguy's Christmas prezzie. I told him about my brainwave and we scheduled a date and time for when the photoshoot would take place. Much as I wanted to back out of it, I made myself contact him to confirm our appointment the day before the shoot was due. In the midst of it all, I had to contend with something that I hadn't considered - shaving off all of my body hair. UGH! Fortunately my wife was more than willing to help me out in that department. She is VERY brave indeed. The end result led to my first bout of insecurity. In short, I HATE my skin!!!! I have been through the wars since leaving the country of my birth. I've experienced MANY nasty insect bites that led to scarring and my landing in hospital in August with Dengue Fever. The Dengue Fever led to my having an outbreak of acne almost bordering on boils. We won't even speak about my childhood scars. Added to which, I have incredibly sensitive skin and am currently fighting off ecsema and rashes because of the change of water and toiletries since my return to spend Christmas with my family and friends.. I had a strong sense of misgiving whilst dealing with a lot of itchiness throughout my body when I arrived outside his studio this morning. He welcomed me and led me to a sofa whilst offering me a drink. I was too nervous for it, so he suggested that we spent some chatting so that I could become more comfortable with him. He is a lovely man and his gentleness soon made me feel a little better. We discussed our ideas for some of the shots and we then went through to the studio where he finished setting up. Then came the moment of truth...I had to strip down. GULP! Admittedly, my relationship with my male S/O has helped me to become more comfortable about being nekkid around a man...however, the man that I was faced with was still by and large a stranger to me. I tend to joke around when nervous so I gave poor Mr. Photographer a lot of grief about my having to pay HIM when he stands to see the goods. NOT FAIR!!!! I said that I need to consider doing what he does so that I have a good excuse to check out hawt nekkid guys all day long. He laughed and told me to relax. He's seen so many naked men that one penis looks like another - just take off your clothes already!!!! I removed my shirt and tried to stall by giving him more grief about how unfair the situation is - that I am the paying client and he ought to aim to please. He paused and looked at me. He then came up to me, grabbed hold of me and gave me a tight hug. Most of my nervousness subsided. I then knew that I had to do the "unthinkable" and slowly removed my clothing. He rolled his eyes at me and eventually told me that he's never done it during a photoshoot before, but if it will make me quit with my bitching and get a move on, then so be it. To my surprise, he had his clothing off in an instant...need I say that it was a very, VEEEERY pleasant surprise indeed lol. (Cue Gollum's voice whilst rubbing hands together "My precious, give me my precious! LOL) Well, my subconsciousness subsided in a jiffy because I then had to concentrate VERY hard on not getting a woody whilst he explained how he envisaged my first couple of poses to be. The then work began. I would never have said that modelling was such hard work. Fuck me sideways and call me Sarah!!!!!!! Some of the positions that I had to get in were difficult to maintain for very long...and very tiring indeed! At times he'd tell me how to move certain parts of my body whilst at others he'd get up and silently reposition me. In the midst of this, it was very hard not to gawk at his equipment and not get a woody? After about two hours of shooting, adjusting lights to create shadows on my muscles/body and changing poses, we had a "tea break" and had a really nice chat in the buff. He'd told me to bring along some props/items of clothing, so after we'd finished with our break, he went through my gym bag and threw clothing for me to put on. On went a pair of jeans and shirt - it was unbuttoned and then I had to start posing with a fan sending my shirt flapping in the "wind". After a while (and many poses/shots) my shirt came off and then he took the last series of pics. He announced that we had finished and I went outside for a smoke break while he uploaded the pics to his PC. I was completely blown away by what I saw! WOW! Can that really be me? NO FRIKKING WAY! We then went through every single pic and we'd discuss our reaction to them. "Hell yeah, that one's nice!" "Nope it doesn't do it for me" "See how blurry it is? You were supposed to stare at my cock and sit still!" (lol) "OMG I look so stoopid when I smile!" "Yep, some people are made to have a serious face when pics are taken" So we decided on which pics we want to keep and the rest were sent into the trash can. Since I've subjected you guys to soooo much bitching an moaning about my insecurity, I felt it only fair to upload the results of the photoshoot to my gallery. I hope that you like it. It's been a huge confidence booster, most expecially since he takes photographs for magazine covers and he decided to show my clothed pics to some peeps. It's resulted in a modelling agency offering me a contract to be in television commercials and another modelling agency wants to take me on as a model for a line of men's underwear. Who would have thought? It's good to be back with you and wish you a belated "HAPPY HOLIDAYS!"