student/teacher relations

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by PonyPete, Aug 31, 2004.

  1. PonyPete

    PonyPete New Member

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    okay, i've been reading this board for a while now. when i started lurking here was when some troll calling himself extremely-huge was littering the young and hung category with some truly stupid, pointless posts. from the responses calling him down i could tell that this site wasn't a joke. there were guys here who really knew what it meant to be well hung. they understood the ups and downs. mr. n, you were one of them. you were one of the members here whose posts really impressed me. you and several others gave sensible advice that i've been able to use in dealing with the pros and cons of what's hangin between my legs. so you're my teacher. but thanks to this site you were actually my teacher long before you stepped int the classroom. when i saw ENGLISH 4C - INSTRUCTOR: J NUNEZ on my class schedule i freaked. i recognized your name. i had read here on the site that you were going to be teaching english in a central louisiana high school but i had no idea that it would be in my high school. i recognized your face on the first day of class. i knew from my trips here that there were things that i could learn from you that would never be taught in a high school class but was it "appropriate"? i understand why you find the situation awkward. i know things about you that you feel a student shouldn't know about his teacher. i know you're gay. big deal. gay, str8, bi -- it don't bother me none and it ain't my business. i know you used to work as a stripper. so what? you're not going to be taking your clothes off in the classroom so your past ain't a "bad influence" on your students. i even know about your sexual habits. i actually it's kinda cool in a twisted sorta way to know that one of my teachers is a horndog. i know the size of your penis. it's also kinda cool to know that one of my teachers is hung but that i'm a little bit bigger. but i think you're afraid i might talk, right? who would i tell? i'm not going to advertise that i hang at the large penis support group so how could i explain how i know personal info about you? your business is your business. even if i know about it it's still your business. it's not my dirt to spread so you don't have to worry about me blabbing what i read here by and about you at school. besides you're the coolest teacher that old high school ever had so i'm not about to mess up things for you. i don't see a problem with both of us being here. am i just too young and stupid to get it?

    it is a topic of discussion. i'm fraid so. seems that last week you went grocery shopping and your equipment wasn't exactly well concealed. one of the girls who's moist'n'tingly over you saw the outline in your pants and the talk began in school. most of the girls and probably some of the guys have kind of a crush on you. you're probably used to that. don't worry, i'm not going to add to the discussion.
     
  2. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    If you are trying to bring this off as an harmless, innocent coincidence you have failed miserably.

    Your posting has an ominousness about it that puts DMW's friends at LPSG on edge.

    Maybe it's your immaturity and your posts are sincere but why make your acknowlegement of your familiarity with a member here so public? Why not Private Messages to DMW or e-mail?

    Can you even begin to imagine the consternation and concern you are causing?

    Or are you on some kind of power trip?
     
  3. Ineligible

    Ineligible Member

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    My college has a rule that anything more than "ordinary friendship" is supposed to be reported, and the college moves the teacher so he/she is not in any position of responsibilty for the student. The implication is that "ordinary friendship", whatever that means, is fine. But that's for a college, with nearly all students over 18. High schools are different. I know some schools ban any sort of friendship between staff and students.

    PonyPete, it probably wasn't your intention - I hope it wasn't your intention -, but mentioning things you could do, but won't, sounds like an attempt at blackmail.

    I'd like to think, though, that this is just one of those uncomfortable coincidences. I think DMW is probably in the best position to judge the situation - he's the only one who knows you personally.
     
  4. txquis

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    I taught for 8 years in a conservative southern town,
    and for my own safety and comfort,
    i went to another extreme...i
    hid in the closet....

    I was just too scared that
    a student or a parent would
    find out/recognize me....and be embarrassed
    or angry.....
    I ran and hid,
    which i dont think is the answer,

    I dont know what the answer *is*...but.....
     
  5. Imported

    Gold Member

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    wvalady1968: PP, I agree with Pecker. This is totally irresponsible behavior. And don't underestimate DMW! He is a man of intelligence, compassion, common sense and integrity. If I know that just from this place, think how much more his friends and colleagues IRL know him.

    You are being an ass and fooling no one. Go away!!!

    Allie
     
  6. KinkGuy

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    For the majority, we are here safe and among supportive friends, albeit 99.999% of whom we will never meet in RL. The conversations are often frank, graphic and free spirited. But this "outing" if you will, concerns me greatly. We all understand the intentions and behaviors of our fellow posters and deal with arguments, spats, revelations and the occasional poser and liar openly and honestly. But stop and think, can we all imagine how many of these threads would look in print and out of context? Pete, I sincerely hope you don't think it would be fun to destroy a man’s career and life with a childish prank. I hope you are sincere in giving your word and keeping this confidence and have learned from many of the people here what it is to be a grown up. Think Pete.
     
  7. D_Martin van Burden

    D_Martin van Burden Account Disabled

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    Part of me is immensely glad that my expectation of this thread was wrong. When I saw the words "student teacher relations," I automatically pictured a student trying to get into a teacher's pants or vice-versa, and ewww, that's just ugly all around.

    I didn't get the impression that Pete was going to get DMW in trouble with his involvement here. Surprisingly, he seems cool with everything he knows about the guy -- and that says quite a bit considering how evil incarnate teenagers can act sometimes when it comes to personal, identifying information. In any case, I hope that this knowledge will neither spill over nor contribute to any sort of problematic behavior. The last thing DMW needs to hear, I'm sure, is some veiled reference to LPSG, e.g. comments about his bulge or talking about the students he coaches in wrestling or what not.

    At the same time, DMW's in a really dicey situation. If I were in this situation, I couldn't participate at the LPSG anymore with good conscience. It's already inappropriate enough to bring up any sort of sexual connotation or innuendo with a student, particularly one in high school. Even if DMW sticks to his alias and tries to be as confidential as he can or limits contact with Pete, there's too much potential for harm. Pete seems ambivalent either way, but the PTA and the officiating body at the school wouldn't see it that way.

    Someone might have to leave. It's sad, but that's the reality of professional conduct. Something's got to give. We'll all be watching to see how this unfolds, I'm sure.
     
  8. naughty

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    Workin' up a good pot of mad!
    Wow,

    I guess it truly is a small world. DMW, if you do read this know that we love you and are hoping the best from the situation. Pete, I think for future reference sweetie you might send potentially damaging info like this privately, if at all.This board has been a safe haven and a place where many of our group have had the rare opportunity to express their real selves without scrutiny or prejudice. The world is small and even though you may not wish DMW any harm, there are those who thrive on malevolence.

    Naughty
     
  9. MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK

    MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK Well-Known Member

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    the pain behind your eyes
    I'm very much inclined to agree with the consensus of everyone on this topic, there, PP. I have no idea why exactly you're making a point, and an example of DMW, but I can tell you that it's petty and irresponsible, so my personal suggestion is to KNOCK IT THE FUCK OFF AND KEEP THE MAN'S PERSONAL LIFE TO HIMSELF,AND OUT OF SCHOOL,CLEAR?! :angry:

    This type of behaviour is obsessive and seriously bordering on psychotic. And while I have disdain for what you're doing, strange as it sounds, I almost feel a pang of pity for you.......I SAID, ALMOST!!
     
  10. Donk

    Donk New Member

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    This is really the kind of conversation that would be best confined to private messages, if it belongs on this board at all, which is questionable.
     
  11. txquis

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    hmmm....
    i dont agree
    that it might not belong on the board at all.

    Most of us here know and like DMW and a topic like
    this concerns me.

    When i taught,
    my actions on and off campus were scrutinized closely.
    This was new to me, but i came to accept it
    as part of the "deal"
    when you are teaching people's kids...
    even if those kids are teenagers.

    I didnt like the invasion of my privacy
    and always looking over my shoulder,
    but that is the way it was.
     
  12. mindseye

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    Bleah. Posts like this bum me out.

    I try to dress modestly for class, but I'm less concerned about doing so when I'm on my own time. Over the past couple of months, I've been involved in local efforts to get people registered to vote (in the hopes that the unenfranchised are more likely to oppose the incumbent!)

    Last night, this took me to a Young Democrats meeting with about 135 people in attendance. Lots of them were students and former students of mine, and I wasn't in my "school clothes" then. Jacinto's quite a hottie; me -- well, somewhat less so. So I tend not to expect my students to speculate too much about me -- but it's a concern of mine, nonetheless.

    DMW -- good luck dealing with this. I wouldn't want to be in your position right now.
     
  13. KinkGuy

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    I wish DMW all the very best and fervently hope that no harm has or will be done. It will be a shame for us to lose such a great member with a brilliant mind. :D It would be an even greater shame for DMW to have his life and career damaged by something this stupid and childish. However, I understand if he has to leave to protect himself. That is the saddest part.
     
  14. B_DoubleMeatWhopper

    B_DoubleMeatWhopper New Member

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    Okay, everyone, I spoke with Pete at school today, and I think everything is ironed out. I feel much better since our conversation. I appreciate everyone's concern. Pete's actually a decent kid, but he's 17 years old, and 17 year-olds are not known for their tact and subtlety. We saw that in this thread. He is not out to blackmail me: he's not the devious type, and he would have no motive to do so. He was not trying to insinuate what he could do to ruin me or my reputation, but trying reassure me of the things he would never have any intention of doing. Yeah, he has an unfortunate way with words, but I'm prepared to believe what he told me today. He seems sincere.

    When he started reading LPSG, he especially appreciated the posts of certain members, and I was one of them. His first impression of me was a former school athlete who was popular and well-hung. Pete could identify with me in those areas. He came here looking and found good advice in members' responses to the questions of other posters. He never really thought he would meet any of the members here. Imagine how he felt when he found out that he would be in contact with one of his favourite posters on a daily basis. He isn't trying to establish an 'ordinary friendship'. I'm 9 years older than he: he doesn't expect me to hang with him and his buds. As a heterosexual teenaged male in a small redneck town he certainly isn't trying to make sexual advances toward me. Actually, let's be relieved that he isn't uneasy with the things he knows about me. Many teenagers in this town would be scandalised to find out that an athletic coach who has access to seeing them naked is gay. Pete's obviously not homophobic, and I appreciate that. He obviously could have handled letting me know that he was here better, but he didn't. Oh, well ... that's over. I do understand a lot of what he said to me. He wants to stay here at LPSG because there should be a place where guys growing up well-hung can find out the things that we talk about, and I totally agree. The situations that we face aren't generally discussed outside of a forum like this. LPSG has value to guys like Pete. He does feel badly that members think he is trying to harm me, and as a result, he feels unwelcome here. That is unfortunate. We are a support group and an informative forum. I don't know Pete real well yet, but I'm a pretty good judge of character and he's not trying to con me. We have agreed that any mention of LPSG or things discussed here are kept out of school. Here I'm DoubleMeatWhopper, and there I'm Mr. Núñez, and they are to remain separate entities. Anything he wants to discuss with me that isn't related to English or the high school sports is to be confined to PMs here. I'm putting a good deal of trust in Pete, and I don't think he'll let me down. Let's consider this topic closed, shall we?
     
  15. D_Barbi_Queue

    D_Barbi_Queue Account Disabled

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    Agreed. As long as you both are comfortable with the situation. ^_^

    I hope Pete does remain since this place can prove to "teach" him other lessons in life about himself (for lack of a better way of saying it). And I'm glad that the line of communication between the two of you is so open in regards to this situation.

    Forgive me if I don't make sense....I'm tired but I just had to put my $.02 down.
     
  16. KinkGuy

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    Sorry for meddling. Case closed.
     
  17. Dr. Bubbles

    Dr. Bubbles New Member

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    Glad everything worked out for you, DMW.

    I have a possibility (good possibility) of being interviewed for a position were I have recently learned that a fellow lpsger works. That is awkward. Although we have never discussed anything sexual, I think it still remains awkward that I know something about him. He is a fabulous person and I look forward to meeting him.

    Still awkward though....

    Anyway, great to hear that things are now resolved with you and Pete. :)
     
  18. Imported

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    Artema: Either a large number of people misread Pete's post, or this forum needs to grow up. I didn't see much more than the far remote possibility that Pete was insinuating anything malevolent, yet the following posts were full of Pete-bashing. In other words I think the tone of the following posts were what everyone was reacting to, not the original post. I'm not trying to insult everyone, this implies a very familiar atmosphere. Everyone here defends their friends, and that is good. I guess it was a potentiall bad situation, but lets not make anyone feel unwelcome without warrant.
     
  19. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    Thanks, DMW. I never hesitate to come to the aid of a friend even with egg on my face. :unsure:

    Welcome to LPSG, Pete. I hope, as you finish high school and continue on to college or a career, you will find us friendly, helpful and discreet.
     
  20. Ineligible

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    I'm glad Pete is a good guy. Perhaps if he now feels uncomfortable, he could quietly change his nick and we would be able to put the situation completely behind us.
     
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