Submission and slavery

rob_just_rob

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I recall a previous post where you stated submitting was impossible for you,

Where did I say that?

so I'm guessing you act as a Domme?

Don't have the parts for that. (I guess it's possible that comment was a veiled shot at me for posting in the Women's Issues forum... sorry, I read threads by clicking on "New", so I seldom pay attention to which forum they're from.)
 

Phil Ayesho

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I would enjoy reading about both experiences. Also, how you made the transition or if you always leaned switch/submissive?

Personally, I'm more dominant, however, there are two partners with whom I have willing and passionately taken on a submissive role. In my experience, I know the change was/is more due to the person, but am curious to understand if you've struggled with the roles or when the opportunity presented, dove headlong in and found it was a good fit for you at that moment in life?

Early on, I had a relationship with a woman who had guilt issues regarding sex that manifested as her only being able to enjoy it in while being dominated to the point of S&M.

So I became dominant... made my own whips and everything. I really got into it, because she really responded to it... so, with me, what I find sexually most arousing is that sense of connection, that response elicited from my mate.
I had no real difficulty finding the eroticism in the leather and steel, in the red welts and gagged moans that seemed to be the most satisfying for her.


My current relationship is with a woman who loves to be in control, loves to inflict pain, and especially loves to dominate a man. She does not whip me for doing things wrong, rather she whips me as reward and encouragement for doing things right.

Perhaps because of my previous relationship, of how she responded to pain and domination, I have a built in appreciation for that experience... but mostly, because of the feedback from my current mate... her excitement in dominating me, excites me, and so I quickly became conditioned to find pain and being dominated exciting.

It was not difficult, it happened quite organically and felt perfectly natural.

I think it comes down to having the kind of sexuality that finds ANYTHING that my partner responds to as the thing that I respond to in sympathy.
 

D_Fiona_Farvel

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Where did I say that?



Don't have the parts for that. (I guess it's possible that comment was a veiled shot at me for posting in the Women's Issues forum... sorry, I read threads by clicking on "New", so I seldom pay attention to which forum they're from.)

Obviously, I meant Dom. No shot taken whatsoever - not really (or usually) my style.

http://www.lpsg.org/184697-guys-giving-up-control-2.html#post2776860

http://www.lpsg.org/184697-guys-giving-up-control-2.html#post2777377
 

D_Fiona_Farvel

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Early on, I had a relationship with a woman who had guilt issues regarding sex that manifested as her only being able to enjoy it in while being dominated to the point of S&M.

So I became dominant... made my own whips and everything. I really got into it, because she really responded to it... so, with me, what I find sexually most arousing is that sense of connection, that response elicited from my mate.
I had no real difficulty finding the eroticism in the leather and steel, in the red welts and gagged moans that seemed to be the most satisfying for her.


My current relationship is with a woman who loves to be in control, loves to inflict pain, and especially loves to dominate a man. She does not whip me for doing things wrong, rather she whips me as reward and encouragement for doing things right.

Perhaps because of my previous relationship, of how she responded to pain and domination, I have a built in appreciation for that experience... but mostly, because of the feedback from my current mate... her excitement in dominating me, excites me, and so I quickly became conditioned to find pain and being dominated exciting.

It was not difficult, it happened quite organically and felt perfectly natural.

I think it comes down to having the kind of sexuality that finds ANYTHING that my partner responds to as the thing that I respond to in sympathy.
Thank you for you for sharing your experiences.

It sounds like your natural empathy has lead to you to develop into a switch. A true one, who is able to exist and find pleasure in both a state of submission to another person or taking the lead/responsibility for a submissive's care/pleasure/training.

This is, unfortunately, completely unnatural to me. I mean, I can dabble on the submissive side during play, and, as previously mentioned, have had my submissive moments with two partners, but giving in totally? No.

I think there's real beauty and power in being able to embrace that sort of inner duality. Indeed, often wish I could tap deeper into it myself.
 

rob_just_rob

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Well, submitting isn't impossible for me - but giving up control usually is. And there's a school of thought that the submissive, who has a safeword and often is the one to set up the parameters of playtime, is actually the one in control, in a macro sense.

My best sub experiences came when I was new to the scene, and with someone I trusted (or in a situation I felt secure in). Once I became somewhat knowledgeable, I wanted to try out all the ideas I had on someone else, rather than the converse.

/anyways
 
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Man.. D/s adds a whole new level of complicated to attempting relationships. Think very carefully if venturing in this direction. I'm a kinky wench, but my blossoming attempt at a threesome with a male dominant and female submissive couple just got broken off, by me. Because I'm not willing to do 24/7 total power exchange. More power to those who do so and are happy in that type of situation, but... I can't see myself doing it all the time, always. Frustrating, sad, and disappointing.

Depending on the person, I -could- see offering myself as their slave, but.. they weren't the right people. For the average person I go on dates with? Sure, I can top or I can submit. But for the more intense connection? Eh... I'm much more picky, as I should be. /end rambling here
 

B_subgirrl

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Man.. D/s adds a whole new level of complicated to attempting relationships.

Oh, I agree!! When I was doing online dating recently, I was trying to explain to friends how D/s adds two new factors - the emotional one and the sexual one. So you not only need to find someone who works with your everyday self and on a vanilla sexual level; you also need to find someone who works with you on a D/s level both sexually and emotionally!!


Think very carefully if venturing in this direction. I'm a kinky wench, but my blossoming attempt at a threesome with a male dominant and female submissive couple just got broken off, by me. Because I'm not willing to do 24/7 total power exchange. More power to those who do so and are happy in that type of situation, but... I can't see myself doing it all the time, always. Frustrating, sad, and disappointing.

I'm sorry to hear it didn't work out for you :frown1:. I couldn't do 24/7 TPE either. I'd snap within a day or two. I truly admire those who can do it.
 

MrRamme

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I'm seeing a girl now and she has said she likes submissive sex. I've never really done anything like that. She also said she is into henti porn. I watched some of that stuff and it seems pretty rough. She's half Japanese and only about 5'2" I'm 6'1" 190lbs and have an 8.5" penis really worried about how rough I should be.
 
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Oh, I agree!! When I was doing online dating recently, I was trying to explain to friends how D/s adds two new factors - the emotional one and the sexual one. So you not only need to find someone who works with your everyday self and on a vanilla sexual level; you also need to find someone who works with you on a D/s level both sexually and emotionally!!

I'm sorry to hear it didn't work out for you :frown1:. I couldn't do 24/7 TPE either. I'd snap within a day or two. I truly admire those who can do it.

It's definitely hard finding someone into at least -most- of my kinks. A lot of people are squeamish about needles, knives and blood. Which is a damn shame, since I rather like all three. None of which I require on a frequent basis but if I had to completely remove them from my life, it would not be ok.

I'm seeing a girl now and she has said she likes submissive sex. I've never really done anything like that. She also said she is into henti porn. I watched some of that stuff and it seems pretty rough. She's half Japanese and only about 5'2" I'm 6'1" 190lbs and have an 8.5" penis really worried about how rough I should be.

:35: I'm 100% Korean and only 5'4". So what? I can still take 8x6.5" cocks.

Maybe you should, y'know, actually ask her what she means by "submissive sex" because there is a HUGE variety of things it could mean for her. :spankme:
 

sbell69

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I am submissive and are all the women in my family. Being submissive doesn't mean being a slave. Being submissive means you know your role and duty within a relationship and everyone has respect for their position with in the family structure. Slavery means having no control in what you say or do. Please respect the role of the submissive woman don't look down upon a role we have chosen.


*standing Ovation*
 

MrRamme

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Well glad to report back from my first D/s experience. Turns out she loves being restrained and told what to do but my 8.5" dick was an issue for her, not like that doesn't make the ego swell.
 
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AlisonWand

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Hi Everyone,

Apologies for not posting a reply earlier. It's been a pleasure reading about the various experiences and thoughts people are having.

I met someone recently (off a vanilla dating site of all places) who is very dominant and I've been experimenting with him my submissive side. In my nature I'm a very independent woman, so this is a fairly enjoyable exploration for me. I've discovered the sexual pleasure that comes with pain a few years ago, and now with my new Master I'm taking it to new levels. He enjoys inflicting pain because I enjoy and endure it so well and he gets real pleasure seeing me wanting to carry on even when it's really painful without using the safe word. Like someone mentioned above, I do feel in control because of the safety I feel with him. If I'll ask him to stop he will, and that gives me the strength to stretch my limits further. Can't really see myself in a TPE type of relationship because of my independent nature in other areas of my life, but I like the role play in the sexual domain. My Master really gets turned on by me fucking many men, so much of the domination is not even when we are together but with his desire to be informed each time I fuck someone. When I go to swingers clubs on my own I report to him how many new cocks I fucked. I feel free and yet in great desire to satisfy my Master. When we are together we can spend some of the time in great worldly conversations and are very connected with our brains. And then organically we get drawn to our sexual roles where I submit to his dominance. It's not 100% of our sexual time together but a big part and I love it.

Anyway, a bit of sharing from me after reading all of your replies.

Thanks again, keep the conversation flowing...

Alison xxx
 

BUNTY007

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If you like a cross dresser m
Interesting observations!

My experience in a dominant role is limited to men-- and now I wondering why I never considered taking on that role with a woman --with men there's always been a sexual charge, and usually a sexual release (unless denial plays a part) based in the D/s or other activity. However, when submissive to a male figure I found there was something satisfying about his behaviors, which I found pleasurable even without the sexual element. Although, sex was a major part of how we concluded our play (I'm not a lifestyler, so would be hours not days).

Hmm, will have to ponder.
an for your sissy slave, i wold like to be, i am a submissive slave for dominating female.
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_llu5fsE70g1qkcq4oo1_500.jpg

It's not the equivalent you might be thinking of for in the leather community. It's human pet play. :) Also different from being a furry, which she is not. Also, no ears or tail or feline behavior during sex, at least not for her. Which is perfectly fine by me. I like humans for sex, not animals :p Ironically enough, I originally started talking to her after following her Questions & Answers vlogs on youtube for a while.. I also partake in feline-human-petplay. I kind of would like to have a puppy at some point too.