Success with women = Lie

[B_Bonky]

"Spoken like a woman"? no, spoken like someone who knows the difference between love and not-love. If there is a child, love it or send it where it will be loved. Better yet, perfect the art of sex without reproducing.

My point was: I think most men would care deeply whether or not the child is actually theirs. And I think most men would take a good hard look at whether he would want to raise another man's child.

 

[Wish-4-8]

I sincerely hope I'm not the one on these boards getting the most poon

Just a few days ago I had a first date with a broad who totally seemed like a hot thing at first and after a couple hours with me she closed up like a prune. Not even a hug before she sped away in her car.

And the week before that I had three (3) internet dates cancel or try to reschedule on me. Tonight though I have a date with a chick who's a sure lay, but I've been seeing her for months.

So my batting average blows. I just keep taking swings because I know it's just numbers baby. After almost a decade of online dating I do not take the shit seriously at all.

Spoken like a true warrior. Thats wisdom folk, listen up!

 

[Pitbull]

"gullible to the obvious lie" is not always it. Sometimes it is "play along to the obvious game".

But why?
No one else to play with? At a game more to one's liking. With rules that are followed with honesty and fairness.

I don't like to feel used.
And maybe if some woman only used me sexually and I knew it (obvious game)
that would be ok because I agreed to play along.
But if I was used and taken advantage through lying and deceit - that is much different.
Toying with my emotions and breaking my heart - just plain wrong.

And women do use men.
All the time.
To get what they want.
But most of the time there isn't even sexual reward as a consolation prize.
They dangle their pussies in front of our noses like a carrot on a string
When we get closer they move away.
Until eventually we see the string and stop trying.

 

[Pitbull]

My point was: I think most men would care deeply whether or not the child is actually theirs. And I think most men would take a good hard look at whether he would want to raise another man's child.

Bonky is 100% correct.
Legal system is totally wrong on this one.

I hope you are all being very careful about not making children. There are far too many childern out there who are not wanted by the persons who made them and are brought up poorly and damaged by it.

If there is a child, love it or send it where it will be loved. Better yet, perfect the art of sex without reproducing.

This is also a wise truth.

 

[D_Fiona_Farvel]

In my experience you don't have to lie, but being interesting certainly helps. I've also found more than a handful of attractive women that don't want to be treated poorly, beaten, or cheated on. Crazy world I live in.

I've never had to lie to a woman and have never had trouble picking one up. I'm not the sexiest guy around and I don't treat them like dirt, but somehow I manage.

Love this attitude, Irish. :smile:
Being interesting (and having something interesting to say), confident, intelligent, open, and flirtatious all work for me.

 

[B_Bonky]

what women say they want, and what really gets 'em in the sack, are not always the same.

 

[D_Fiona_Farvel]

what women say they want, and what really gets 'em in the sack, are not always the same.

I dunno, ask around.
I'm sure each met and exceeded my expectations for the qualities I listed above. :wink:

 

[teasedsilly]

In other words, be a phony? I wouldn't do that for the very selfish reason that I want the girl to have feelings for me, not some invented personality. I would know and feel it every second of the relationship (if it lasted that long) that she was only with me based on a lie. If so many people do this it's no wonder that relationships are plagued with insecurity and trust issues. Frankly I'd rather sleep soundly at night and alone than next to someone but have problems looking at myself in the mirror.

 

[B_Bonky]

In other words, be a phony? I wouldn't do that for the very selfish reason that I want the girl to have feelings for me, not some invented personality. I would know and feel it every second of the relationship (if it lasted that long) that she was only with me based on a lie. If so many people do this it's no wonder that relationships are plagued with insecurity and trust issues. Frankly I'd rather sleep soundly at night and alone than next to someone but have problems looking at myself in the mirror.

I see your point. But I don't really care what the girl has feelings for. All of us, IMHO, are just artificial constructs anyway.

There is no "real" you or "fake" you. You're a mishmash of stuff your parents trained you to be, stuff society wants you to be, stuff your friends pushed you into being, stuff you saw on TV and read in books, etc etc etc. There is no "pure" you that somehow exists apart from the lies you tell to yourself and others. No platonic ideal of "you-ness" that floats around in the ether.

Your identity is ever-shifting and changing. The lies you tell today may become true tomorrow, and the "honesty" you're so proud of may be a sham that you're not even aware of yet.

 

[teasedsilly]

I see your point. But I don't really care what the girl has feelings for. All of us, IMHO, are just artificial constructs anyway.

There is no "real" you or "fake" you. You're a mishmash of stuff your parents trained you to be, stuff society wants you to be, stuff your friends pushed you into being, stuff you saw on TV and read in books, etc etc etc. There is no "pure" you that somehow exists apart from the lies you tell to yourself and others. No platonic ideal of "you-ness" that floats around in the ether.

Your identity is ever-shifting and changing. The lies you tell today may become true tomorrow, and the "honesty" you're so proud of may be a sham that you're not even aware of yet.

lol My mistake, you obviously know me better than I do.

 

[helgaleena]

I agree with you Teasedsilly.

I found I was not good at playing games of pretend and so I went the other direction into blunt honesty. It turned out that I was also not good at knowing when I was being deceived unless a person's 'game' had flaws enough to unravel itself. Many years of avoidance of others resulted.

But all human contact contains risk.

 

[B_Bonky]

lol My mistake, you obviously know me better than I do.

no, but apparently I know the human condition better than you :smile:

 

[_avg_]

You're a mishmash of stuff your parents trained you to be, stuff society wants you to be, stuff your friends pushed you into being, stuff you saw on TV and read in books, etc etc etc.

That's not the "real you?" All the masks we wear become our identity; in the end, are we not what we pretend to be...???









(...apologies to Jerry Cantrell...)

 

[B_Bonky]

there's a different you for every situation you find yourself in. There is no "one" "real" you. Or perhaps you could say they're all "real."

 

[_avg_]

Or perhaps you could say they're all "real."

Precisely. If nothing we do matters, then the only thing that matters is what we do...






(...apologies to Joss Whedon...)

 

[B_Bonky]

but I'd like to get away from 'real and 'unreal'.. I think the terms mislead.

 

[teasedsilly]

no, but apparently I know the human condition better than you :smile:

I'll tell you what. I'll continue to look for a girl who is compatible with my actual values and interests and you continue to lie about yours to trick them into sleeping with you. That way we're both happy.

 

[B_Bonky]

so you're single now?

 

[teasedsilly]

so you're single now?

As I said before, my goal isn't to sleep with women, it's to find a romantic partner. Following your method would not get me what I want.

 

[B_Bonky]

you missed the point again, though. WHY do you want what you want? What forces in your life put you in this position?

You don't have to answer here.. but it's something to think about.