Sucking a hung co-worker

[Jarizzi]

I'm a 34 year old guy, and for the past month, I've been giving bjs to an autistic guy who works with me. I initiated the whole thing, and I'm not even sure if he'd ever had a sexual experience before me. It started after I helped him move out of his mom's house into his own apartment. I'd been curious about the bulge in his pants for a while, thought I'd see if he'd do anything with me.

After we got done moving boxes, I showed him some porn on my phone and just took it from there. I had to talk him into it, he was reluctant at first. Now we regularly hang out at his place like twice a week, watch movies, and I blow him.

It's weird but our sexual experiences are some of the hottest I've ever had. Everything is so new to him, and his reactions are very spontaneous and natural. He says and does some really hot things, it's awesome. And as far as his bulge goes, I was not disappointed. He's got a huge cock, big hairy balls, just fucking amazing in every way.

So recently I told a friend about what was going on, and my friend said that I was taking advantage of the guy. He said that he's autistic and just goes along with the bjs and doesn't know any better. I disagreed because the guy isn't severely autistic. He does have a job and his own apartment. I never forced him to do anything, although I did have to do a lot of persuading at first. And I know that he enjoys it. He REALLY enjoys it, he isn't shy anymore in any way when we are together.

So I just wanted to be able to talk about this and maybe get some opinions. No one really knows about this.

 

[BillM]

Pandor's box has been opened and now that you have him hooked you are kind of stuck between a rock(COCK) and a hard place! I feel it is best to just not let anone else know and you guys have fun. Bill

 

[SurferGirlCA]

I initiated the whole thing, and I'm not even sure if he'd ever had a sexual experience before me... I had to talk him into it, he was reluctant at first... I never forced him to do anything, although I did have to do a lot of persuading at first.

Those are some flags in your story for me. Beyond those, you mentioned being 34 - but how old is he? What is your work relationship? Same department? Equal footing within the company?

Maybe you should consider what you think the line is between "a lot of persuading" and manipulation, especially if he's young, inexperienced, and (even borderline) autistic.

I'm not condemning you, as I don't know you - or him. Just some things to consider.

 

[Jarizzi]

True, I doubt I'll be telling anyone else. I mean, we both have a a great time together and I like him a lot. Doesn't hurt that he has a horse

Those are some flags in your story for me. Beyond those, you mentioned being 34 - but how old is he? What is your work relationship? Same department? Equal footing within the company?

Maybe you should consider what you think the line is between "a lot of persuading" and manipulation, especially if he's young, inexperienced, and (even borderline) autistic.

I'm not condemning you, as I don't know you - or him. Just some things to consider.

He's about 27-28 years old. And we work for different departments, so there is no work conflict whatsoever. We are very much equals there.

And while I did persuade him the first time, I definitely never manipulated him. I showed him some porn on my phone and suggested that we jerk off together. I took my dick out and I knew he was shy and afraid to just take his cock out while I was there. I basically just convinced him that it was ok. As for the rest of the stuff, he never said no to anything.

 

[Sklar]

I read you posts and I see this:

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/10/25/magazine/the-strange-case-of-anna-stubblefield.html?_r=0

Sklar

 

[K.Dst]

Though I agree about the fact that you don't seem to be taking advantage of your friend, I just want to say something :

my friend said that I was taking advantage of the guy.
[...] I disagreed because [...] I know that he enjoys it. He REALLY enjoys it.

That is SO not relevant if you wonder if you're taking advantage of him.
It's not the result as much as the initiation that plays a decisive role here.

True, it can change the relation the other one has towards further activities, but if you're always the one initiating sex and he's never doing it himself, there might be a problem...

 

[Jarizzi]

I read the article posted above and there's a huge difference with my situation. The guy in the article had an IQ of a toddler and couldn't speak. The guy I'm involved with has a job and can drive a car. He's far from mentally incompetent.

Also in any sexual relationship, one person has to initiate the whole thing. I did initiate things the first time, yeah. But since then we have hung out on a regular basis and if he didn't want to fool around anymore, he wouldn't be asking me if I wanna come over at night. And when I'm at his house, on a couple different occasions he has been the first one to pull up porn on his phone, take his cock out, and start jerking. I think if he didn't want to do this stuff, he wouldn't act that way.

It's true that he's probably not gay and just likes the attention I give his cock, but that doesn't make him any different than any other desperate, horny straight guy who's let his gay friend suck him.

 

[hzs3fg]

It sounds very much on the edge to me. If his parents or another relative should find out about this relationship I fear you will be visited by the police...

 

[aready6311]

I say congrats for accepting him. Being autistic doesn't mean he's mentally disabled. Enjoy!

 

[hzs3fg]

I say congrats for accepting him. Being autistic doesn't mean he's mentally disabled. Enjoy!

But, in fact, it does. And, as such, he has certain legal protections and it would be relatively easy for someone to be charged with abuse should a "loving relative" decide to push the issue.

 

[hypolimnas]

I say congrats for accepting him. Being autistic doesn't mean he's mentally disabled. Enjoy!

I agree, he is human being with the rights to enjoy his sexuality like everyone else. If he was unable to give informed consent that would be different.

 

[sudcalifornio]

a pic of the cock might help, you don't find hung autistic everywhere

 

[dards44]

Odd fiction.

 

[ronin001]

So you preyed on an Autistic man by showing him porn; and revealing your penis. Had oral sex with him and have continued to do so. Give yourself a pat on the back for taking advantage of a person with a disability, that you are are well aware of.

To make things worse here you are bragging about it.

 

[Phil Ayesho]

Autism ranges from severely disabled, to being merely socially awkward.

having a job, a car, and living on his own implies a pretty high functioning individual... Who might still be incapable of fully fleshed romantic involvement.

But adults with autism are STILL adult human beings with adult sexual function, desires, and appetites- tho their social awkwardness might deny them ordinary access to sexuality... Which can be a source of anger, frustration and despair.

The situation is not as plain as those crying manipulation and abuse might imagine.
The mentally disabled HAVE sexual feelings, too... And it is patronizing to infantilize them as being sexually untouchable.

Yes, the OP is treading on the verge of perhaps taking advantage... But depending upon the level of autism this person has, this might be an ideal sexual outlet for urges he has no other recourse to address.

Sex is NOT a form of harming, in and of itself. If the guy is competent to decide to pull a car into traffic, he is competent enough to decide on a form of sexual pleasure that is entirely consensual.

There is still a puritanical hysteria that raises its imbecilic head in matters involving genitals.

But if the guy can ask for it, and wants it, and it's offered in kindness and the spirit of mutual pleasure... Then everyone can butt the fuck out. One of the greatest sorrows the disabled suffer is the utter lack of human sexual contact.

 

[Hoss]

II had to talk him into it, he was reluctant .....

the fact that you say he was reluctant and that you had to talk him into it says evrything. You took advantage of him.

Sure he seems pretty happy with the situation but why wouldn't he? He gets sexual release and what may be even more important to him, he gets a person who he thinks is a friend.

Because of autism, even the most limited levels of autism, this man has likely had difficulty forming true lasting friendships. He will do most things just to keep your friendship. Autistic persons commit crimes in order to hold onto a friend.

You entered into this with only goal, to get to his penis. What would have happened if he had refused? in all honesty, would you have kept being so friendly?

What if the unveiling showed he was only carrying a 5 inch pens but he liked stuffing an eXtra pair of undershorts in his briefs so he could always have a spare pair in case of an accident where he failed to make it to the restroom in time? would you have stayed involved or just pushed him aside after 1 encounter?



If this relationship is so great, do you ever hang out with him in public? If not, then why not?


You used him.

 

[Phil Ayesho]

the fact that you say he was reluctant and that you had to talk him into it says evrything. You took advantage of him.

Sure he seems pretty happy with the situation but why wouldn't he? He gets sexual release and what may be even more important to him, he gets a person who he thinks is a friend.

Because of autism, even the most limited levels of autism, this man has likely had difficulty forming true lasting friendships. He will do most things just to keep your friendship. Autistic persons commit crimes in order to hold onto a friend.

You entered into this with only goal, to get to his penis. What would have happened if he had refused? in all honesty, would you have kept being so friendly?

What if the unveiling showed he was only carrying a 5 inch pens but he liked stuffing an eXtra pair of undershorts in his briefs so he could always have a spare pair in case of an accident where he failed to make it to the restroom in time? would you have stayed involved or just pushed him aside after 1 encounter?



If this relationship is so great, do you ever hang out with him in public? If not, then why not?


You used him.

First of all...
Every date any one here ever went on was one person trying to talk another person into sex.

Most Everyone here has done WHATEVER they could think of to improve their chances of convincing someone else to say yes.
From serving liberal amounts of alcohol, to dressing provocatively, to sexually suggestive conversation, to WASHING the fucking car and offering flowers, to pretending to an interest, or an income they they don't actually have.

The notion that ANYONE isn't selling themselves when they pursue a sexual relationship is pandering nonsense.

And the OP describes a pretty honest, straightforward outright suggesting of something most people beat around the bush and pretend to not be after.

And is he USING the guy?

Sure.

Just the same as everyone who ever posted here about their FWB-


You are essentially making the argument, entirely unsupported, that a person with high functioning autism can't give consent.

Which is essentially saying that people with autism ARE NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE SEX.
Because if talking them into sex isn't considered okay- then they CAN'T give consent - and then there is no circumstance in which they can ever have sexual contact that isn't 'wrong'.
And sorry- but who the heck are you to be telling someone that, because of a disability, they are forbidden from something their body and their brain tell them they desperately need?

You talk like "being used" is inherently wrong.... but how many posters on this site alone brag or pine for a fuckbuddy?
For no emotional strings attached sex?

Once more- if the guy was institutionalized- you might have an argument. If he was incapable of conversation... then he might be unable to form consent...
But IF HE IS ALLOWED TO DRIVE A CAR... if he is functional enough to decide that its safe to pull a 200 horsepower deathtrap onto the freeway at speed... and if he can hold down a job, then chances are he is functional enough to decide if he is WILLING to BE USED.

The fact that sexuality may never have the same emotional dimension to it for him, as it does for most of us, is not an argument that he can't decide for himself if purely causal sexual contact might satisfy the physical need he almost certainly feels every day.

Anyone who can handle the interactive demands of a workplace can decide for themselves if they want to be doing what they agree to do.


And you can't turn on a TV or the Internet without an onslaught of folks trying to talk you into doing everything from agreeing with them... to buying what they are selling.

The fact that its 'sex' someone is trying to talk you into doesn't obviate the right of individual choice.

 

[handcuffsfan4]

Have you two discussed the extent of your relationship? Being the older more expierenced individual, you should try to help him understand rhe social imlications surrounding your relationship. i knew alot of autistic kids in HS due to being put in special classes for being dyslexic. Many autistic people that ive known are extreemely socialy akward and you wouldnt want him pulling out porn and his dick in any sitiluation. You wouldnt wsnt to set this dude up for failuer.

 

[wnjcwjkk]

I think Phil Ayesho makes some great points here, and articulated much better than I could.


But, Idk, if it was me, who had a high functioning autistic girl as a friend. I would stay away from anything sexual, I think. Especially if I were the one who had to initiate, and she was reluctant.

It's actually a really interesting subject, and one of the few where I don't really know right off the bat where I stand.

 

[hypolimnas]

I think Phil Ayesho makes some great points here, and articulated much better than I could.


But, Idk, if it was me, who had a high functioning autistic girl as a friend. I would stay away from anything sexual, I think. Especially if I were the one who had to initiate, and she was reluctant.

It's actually a really interesting subject, and one of the few where I don't really know right off the bat where I stand.

A person is not a label, we all have the right to sexual expression. Each life is complex.

Social/Sexual Awareness | Autism Research Institute

From an article by Geri Newton, not specifically relevant but insightful:

Many of my clients have told me that having sex with someone is the only time they feel normal. They have a job that they know a "normal" person would not have. They cannot drive. They are not free to go where they want, when they want. They always have to tell someone where they are and who they are with. They feel like they are treated like a child. Yet when they are sexual with someone, they are just like everyone else--a grown-up. I have received this same message from people with identified IQ's from 30 to 70, verbal and nonverbal.