Sucking a hung co-worker

XSILVER

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but that doesn't make him any different than any other desperate, horny straight guy who's let his gay friend suck him.

To me it sounds as if YOU are the desperate horny guy!

The why I see this is your in the wrong. You have played with (not an autistic) but another human being's mind in general. it is irrelevant where the individual is on the spectrum.... or even if they are on the spectrum..... you saw an opportunity to mentally force someone in being with you and you took it. Rather disgusting
 

hzs3fg

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After we got done moving boxes, I showed him some porn on my phone and just took it from there. I had to talk him into it, he was reluctant at first. Now we regularly hang out at his place like twice a week, watch movies, and I blow him.
...

Honestly, the above says everything we need to know about this situation. I'll bet you a dollar that in most of the US this would qualify as rape; certainly his relatives could (and probably would) demand some form of prosecution should he ever let on to anyone what you are doing with him and how it came about.

www.theguardian.com: Half of autistic adults 'abused by someone they trusted as a friend'

psychcentral.com: Autistic Adults at Higher Risk of Sexual Victimization

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov: Sexual Knowledge and Victimization in Adults with Autism Spectrum Disorders
 

hypolimnas

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Everyone has the right to sexual expression and connection with another person. Is every situation perfect? Has every relationship we have ever had been 100% safe? Every relationship has subtlety and nuance, nothing is as simple as the rule lovers would portray. Is every relationship equal?

There is risk involved with any human interaction. Every civilised country has classes and courses for people of all levels of disability regarding sexual expression, and everyone who needs a carer has one.

Disabled people should not be condemned to a life of isolation.

How did we learn? Not by being perfect and judgemental, but by making mistakes, sometimes being hurt and having an ultimately richer life for it as we become more skilful at handling relationships.

People who cling to superstitious Puritanical values of salvation, hard work and sexual repression are naive, misguided and miserable. From time to time it is worth pointing out the obvious. I'm amazed how this board brings out the repressed Sunday School teachers, people who prefer to judge at their keyboards with their pathetic sanctimonious condemnation, and have very little life experience.

It is not a normal, or healthy approach to life, or anything else. It isn't normal, it is just common (in some limited contexts).

I do understand judging makes some people more powerful in their own minds, but they are not their thoughts.
 

Oxnard

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If he has a job and a driver's license, I'm guessing he's a high functioning autistic, probably with a problem with social skills and possibly some degree of language problems, but they aren't stupid.

However, you talked him into having sex. Dude, have some freaking dignity. I thought only teenage boys did that kind of crap. What's the point of sex if both people don't really, really want to do it with each other?
 

hypolimnas

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You asked a question, I answered.

Well I am assuming you are high functioning autistic person who has no grasp of irony, or understanding of the nature of rhetoric.

I didn't mean to influence your behaviour by luring you into a reply. Apologies if you feel exploited by publicly humiliating you especially as our power is so unbalanced in my favour. Your situation is made worse given that your shame has provided entertainment on a site that belongs to someone else who is running this business to exploit you.
 

hzs3fg

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When I ran an adult care home for developmentally disabled people the social worker told me if one of the "clients'" wanted to have sex in there room and were handling it appropriately I was to allow it.

He was manipulated into it. In many places that would be considered statutory rape.
 

shad282

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I would say it is about your and his intention. Investigate your intention: why did you do it ? if he wasn't autistic would you approach him the same way ? where did the joy come from when u did it with him, was it because of his innocence and lack of knowledge: not knowing what is happening and why it is happening? if yes then you took advantage of his limited knowledge.
did you share porn with him so he can get turned on so you can make your move ? in other words you tried to seduce him?
From his perspective: investigate his intention: is he doing because of it itself or because he wants to protects your friendship ? is he doing it because you enjoy it and not him ? or is he doing it because you want to do it ?
Also, I don't think it is a healthy thing to share "porn" as it is known for its unhealthiness for mind.. since you are giving materials to a mind that has social difficulties and these materials/ideas (especially those with hardcore and pain materials) are likely to influence him badly.
If you like/love him then try to approach him emotionally and share it with innocence, you can kiss him and see if he will react the same and etc... there is no need for porn.
If you are just looking for sex with him, you have to explain that, and once he develops emotional attachment to you and you just care about sex then you are going to damage him and will build up some serious issue of trust in friends, love and sex. and might develop porn addiction..
These issues are not limited to autistic people.
be careful of his family might think you are taking advantage of him or something and police ending up at your door
 

hzs3fg

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When I ran an adult care home for developmentally disabled people the social worker told me if one of the "clients'" wanted to have sex in there room and were handling it appropriately I was to allow it.

Again, the situation you describe is not at all like the situation being discussed.

And, I seriously question the management of that adult care home. Rape (or unwanted sexual advances) in such places is endemic; I am troubled by the possibility that the management told you to simply look the other way...
 
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Oxnard

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I would say it is about your and his intention. Investigate your intention: why did you do it ? if he wasn't autistic would you approach him the same way ? where did the joy come from when u did it with him, was it because of his innocence and lack of knowledge: not knowing what is happening and why it is happening? if yes then you took advantage of his limited knowledge.
did you share porn with him so he can get turned on so you can make your move ? in other words you tried to seduce him?
From his perspective: investigate his intention: is he doing because of it itself or because he wants to protects your friendship ? is he doing it because you enjoy it and not him ? or is he doing it because you want to do it ?
Also, I don't think it is a healthy thing to share "porn" as it is known for its unhealthiness for mind.. since you are giving materials to a mind that has social difficulties and these materials/ideas (especially those with hardcore and pain materials) are likely to influence him badly.
If you like/love him then try to approach him emotionally and share it with innocence, you can kiss him and see if he will react the same and etc... there is no need for porn.
If you are just looking for sex with him, you have to explain that, and once he develops emotional attachment to you and you just care about sex then you are going to damage him and will build up some serious issue of trust in friends, love and sex. and might develop porn addiction..
These issues are not limited to autistic people.
be careful of his family might think you are taking advantage of him or something and police ending up at your door
Wait. Porn is dangerous to autistics?

Citation, please.
 
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mitcht67

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Again, the situation you describe is not at all like the situation being discussed.

And, I seriously question the management of that adult care home. Rape (or unwanted sexual advances) in such places is endemic; I am troubled by the possibility that the management told you to simply look the other way...
Again, the situation you describe is not at all like the situation being discussed.

And, I seriously question the management of that adult care home. Rape (or unwanted sexual advances) in such places is endemic; I am troubled by the possibility that the management told you to simply look the other way...[/QUOTEe.
Sorry, no it was not management it was the department of social services. We ran an adult foster care how for 18 years.