Sucking it with a vacuum cleaner?!

[Joseph]

Ok Perhaps it's just me having a bad day and the fact my last thread were failures, but... I'm pretty sure everyone here will call me an idiot for asking this and I know it would be a lot smarter to just do it rather than ask if it's dumb <SARCASM>... but none the less I ask.

A guy I met here told me today he uses his vacuum cleaner to suck on his cock.... I couldn't believe it and several times asked him if I just didn't mean a Vacuum PUMP, but nope, it's a regular vacuum cleaner, he actually bought it just for this purpose and not the.. one it was meant for!

I heard once people joking that some guys use their mom's vacuum cleaners when they can't afford a penis pump (vacuum pump), but now the reality... Ugh...

What the hell? Several people PANIC when I tell them one day I want to use a penis pump, people demand I don't do it or people call me an idiot or "So dumb you deserve to loose your penis" But it turns out there are people who use vacuum cleaners to suck on their dicks and that not even for Penis Enlargement (not that I believe that'd be an effective method of doing it), but for pleasure....

So please... tell me.... who here does this? Isn't that dangerous?! If people claim the usage of a pump ALWAYS deforms the penis into some disgusting monster then shouldn't the use of a VACUUM CLEANER be even more capable of making it UGLY?

So please tell this moron how it looks....

 

[DaveyR]

Please tell me you are not serious.

 

[andrexx]

That's blatantly retarded. And from what I've heard, yes, it can cause problems to your penis.

 

[DaveyR]

Have a good read of this.

 

[D_Odipherous Pitts]

I recall that when I was a young teenage I gave the ole vacuum cleaner a whirl.... what a mistake! Luckily it had a vent on it where you could control (somewhat) the level of suction applied to the end. It sucked my cock in and wouldn't let go. I shut it off immediately luckily...

 

[Joseph]

Well then people agree with my shock over how stupid this is.....

Oh and thanks for the read DaveyR, ... with a handheld model, WOW!

 

[Salty Jack]

The standard vacuum cleaner hose is too small for me. That's why I use a ShopVac.

 

[Group51]

I read somewhere that there's a risk of the skin being sucked off.

 

[thadjock]

I read somewhere that there's a risk of the skin being sucked off.

no, ur confusing that with a dude who once dated madonna

 

[Louberg83]

This thread is hilarious. I remember wanting to try it when I was a teenager, but I was too thick for the hose, so no dice! Now that I think about it, I don't think it would feel very good.

 

[mandoman]

I went to high school with someone who tried it, and got injured by the blade.
When they asked at emergency, he said, "I fell on a nail".

 

[thadjock]

I went to high school with someone who tried it, and got injured by the blade.
When they asked at emergency, he said, "I fell on a nail".

blade? his vacuum has blades?

sure he wasn't using a cuisinart?

maybe flow-bee marketed a home circumcision model? clips your hair and ur foreskin.

 

[Opalite]

Sounds like you'd either end up with no penis at all, or a very dust-free one.

Eventhough I very much appreciate good hygiene, I'd personally advice you to get a propper pump.

 

[MalakingTiti]

Stupid shit.

 

[jhnholmes]

There is a correct way to do this.
1. buy a 1 ft. section of pvc pipe, ( diameter size to match you dick) it should be snug, but not tight ... you need to let LITTLE air get buy.
2. find out what size the end of the vacum hose is and by a pvc reducer to attach to your pipe ... may take more than one size reducer to get down to the vacum tube.
3. drill 3 ... 1/4 in. holes in the 1 ft. section near the end that attaches to the vacum ... make them in a line from the vacum straight towards your cock.
4. make the holes no more than 1/2 in, apart. DON'T BLOCK THE HOLES with the sleve from the next piece of reducer.

The holes act as a pressure regulator and you cover and uncover them as needed with you hand gripping the pipe. If the pipe has enough space around your cock to alllow air to pass by to the vacum you set up a vortex of air flow ... IT VIBRATES YOUR COCK. Open and close the holes to create the desired vibration. you don't need to glue the pvc together ... each picece just fits into the next. To get the maximum effect make the last piece(where you cock goes) a 90 or 45 degree bend and then the tube with the holes. As you cock goes into the angled pvc the vibrations can be incredible. Because you control the vacum pressure (Holes) you can move you cock in and out to create a pulsing vibration ... You can't last long so be prepared to open the hole and allow the bypass so you can relax a little and close them to cum.

Cost ... less than $20 of pvc

John Holmes

 

[B_625girth]

when I was very young, my neighbor, about a 1 yr older, asked one day if I jacked off. I had jacked a few times. I told him it was none of his business. he said, do you even know what I am talking about. I said yeah, and motioned to my cock and jacked with my hand. he said try using the vacuum cleaner. so a week went by and my folks were gone, I started to get the vacuum out and realized no way i was going to fit my penis in that little hose. another week or so, and the neighbor says, hey you ever try the vacuum thing? i told him yeah, and you must be a pencil dick to get yours to fit in the hose. he slugged me, not bad, but he never brought it up again. a year later, we all were peeing after drinking a bunch of beer, and God did not bless that neighbor. I did use a shop vac once and it did not have enough suction. I was married at the time and it was a lot, lot better to talk nice to my wife, go in the bedroom and get a real BJ.

 

[tomosaurus]

THaha there's no shame in finding different ways to get yourself off if no one else is around..

However, there is no way your cock would fit up a vacum cleaner pipe unless your on the average side on girth..

 

[1NiceRod]

I went to high school with someone who tried it, and got injured by the blade.
When they asked at emergency, he said, "I fell on a nail".

There are some vacuums that have a fan in the hose to provide additional suction power.

I guess maybe they should start thinking about moving the fan further into the hose if guys are going to start using them for masturbating. LOL

 

[Mr Ed in Mass]

Oh Great, NOW you tell me not to do it !

 

[jazz_jazz70]

This is one seriously fucking helpful answer. Well done.

There is a correct way to do this.
1. buy a 1 ft. section of pvc pipe, ( diameter size to match you dick) it should be snug, but not tight ... you need to let LITTLE air get buy.
2. find out what size the end of the vacum hose is and by a pvc reducer to attach to your pipe ... may take more than one size reducer to get down to the vacum tube.
3. drill 3 ... 1/4 in. holes in the 1 ft. section near the end that attaches to the vacum ... make them in a line from the vacum straight towards your cock.
4. make the holes no more than 1/2 in, apart. DON'T BLOCK THE HOLES with the sleve from the next piece of reducer.

The holes act as a pressure regulator and you cover and uncover them as needed with you hand gripping the pipe. If the pipe has enough space around your cock to alllow air to pass by to the vacum you set up a vortex of air flow ... IT VIBRATES YOUR COCK. Open and close the holes to create the desired vibration. you don't need to glue the pvc together ... each picece just fits into the next. To get the maximum effect make the last piece(where you cock goes) a 90 or 45 degree bend and then the tube with the holes. As you cock goes into the angled pvc the vibrations can be incredible. Because you control the vacum pressure (Holes) you can move you cock in and out to create a pulsing vibration ... You can't last long so be prepared to open the hole and allow the bypass so you can relax a little and close them to cum.

Cost ... less than $20 of pvc

John Holmes