Two incidents come immediately to mind. My half-brother, in 1987 when he was 15. The last time I saw him was when he was two. I'd heard he hung himself on Christmas Day (his birthday), while with my stepmother and her kids when they were in some homeless mission or Salvation Army camp. That was the life they lived, being with, and ultimately splitting from....my Dad. They were always on the move, and keeping track of them was impossible. All I can imagine is that he felt his life was utterly hopeless when he made his decision. I'll never know more than that.
The other incident, and the thing that nudged me to post here...well, I got news of it this morning. I had known Mike for 7 years, a friend yet more of an acquaintance. His father, Tripp, has been sober 25 years and helps many people...including myself.... Mike had about the same time sober as me. He fell off the wagon, but his other demons followed him and he was never able to find peace. He recently asked me if he could come in and apply for a job where I work in the morning, and was telling others about it. He never made it, but I continued to see him at meetings. Last time I saw him was Thursday night, sitting with his Dad. We spoke a few words afterwards, he apologised for not coming in, I said "no worries, when you're ready, we'll still be there", gave him a hug....Apparently Saturday night, he left his sponsor's house where a child's birthday party was taking place. Mike suffered from schizophrenia, and amongst his last words at the birthday party were that he couldn't stand the pain any longer, he hugged everyone and said he loved them, said he was tired and excused himself. He walked his short distance home, and was found later that evening in his room by his older brother, who became a basket case.... Nobody is saying how it was done and it doesn't really matter, I guess.....his Mom and Tripp are dealing with it as well as can be expected. One of Tripp's projects is a home he has set up for mentally ill individuals who are trying to get a firm footing in life...ie, off the drugs and booze, and moving forward from there. He's had Mike stay there in the past.
So here we are, left with the task of identifying reasons to be grateful that we are alive, and uh...yeah. I'm very grateful. There are so many days when it's taken for granted, and then something happens. A death is one thing, but when it has the added morbid twist of someone taking their own life, there are so many questions, on so many levels, and none of them will ever be answered.
This really IS a good life, everyone.