I am finally in my first relationship with my girlfriend.
For a summary of how are relationship is.
It’s a long distance relationship. We have yet to make physical contact but hope to around fall. We don’t live terribly far apart, but far enough.
She’s quite frankly everything I want. Lol yesterday I even spent 15 straight hrs talking to her with no stop, and i’ve Had plenty of other times where I’ve talked to her for hours upon hours. Interacting with her is perhaps the greatest joy I’ve had.
She’s shockingly similar to me in her likes, interests, beliefs, morals, dealings with mental illness, etc. I can be open about her with anything and she has come to know all my secrets and not only accepted them but likes a great deal of them, visa versa. She also has a compatible sex drive/sexual interests with mine, which for ref mine is very abnormally high. I actively find myself falling for her super hard and fast. I feel like all my hopes and prayers while single my whole life about having a killer gf has been answered in full. Being around her is the best and when around her I want the best for her/to do better and be better for her. I care a lot about her. I could very easily write many paragraphs of what I like about her and how much compatibility we have but basically the level is fucking astonishing. She’s the best thing to come into my life by a looooooong shot and outside of silly things like ‘is a billionaire’ ‘is a celebrity’ or something like that, I really couldn’t ask for more as she has checked all the boxes across the board. (Which I look at when I’m not riding cloud9 so I can have a less emotionally clouded look) The feelings are fully reciprocated.
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This brings me to my only issue and it eats me. I’m not feeling quite as hot on the physical attraction aspect and it is tearing me up inside because and makes me feel like a scumbag as it betrays my feelings for her. (I’d never bring it up or even hint at it and i’ve gone to great lengths and with great success to ensure she feels great about herself and quite beautiful, as this is a huge insecurity for her which i’m trying to help her vanquish it) Additionally she’s 34 and I’m 26. Both soon to turn the next year. She’s quite a bit overweight. Which in of itself isn’t a bad thing as it’s case by case basis. However I find myself not very strongly attracted to her except I do find sometimes she looks quite cute/sexy in the face and from the chest up she’s quite attractive.
However the thing is, (unrelated to me) she is super determined to lose the weight and get healthier and become attractive. Which I support as that’s something she wants to do, she should do it for herself.
Part of me hopes that when she does do this, that she will become much more attractive to me and the other part absolutely dreads that she won’t and the thought kills me as I have very strong feelings for her and I abhor myself that ‘this’ attraction could stand in the way of my attraction to her. She’s really special to me and I look forward to and thoroughly enjoy being with her.
I don’t want to string her along and at the same time I don’t want to leave an amazing woman over something that might not be an issue in the future.
I’m aware that attraction/lack of doesn’t make me bad, but knowing that logically doesn’t make me feel any less of.a PoS.
I’m more interested in those that have been a situation like mine and how did you proceed and how did it end up. Did it go well, did it end poorly, etc. Also the age difference has crossed my mind only because I have a small worry of remaining attracted to her. I’ve never been in a relationship before, so maybe I will not notice but maybe I will, I don’t have a point of reference and I seek out those who also have exp with either an age gap or just aging in general with their partner.
For a summary of how are relationship is.
It’s a long distance relationship. We have yet to make physical contact but hope to around fall. We don’t live terribly far apart, but far enough.
She’s quite frankly everything I want. Lol yesterday I even spent 15 straight hrs talking to her with no stop, and i’ve Had plenty of other times where I’ve talked to her for hours upon hours. Interacting with her is perhaps the greatest joy I’ve had.
She’s shockingly similar to me in her likes, interests, beliefs, morals, dealings with mental illness, etc. I can be open about her with anything and she has come to know all my secrets and not only accepted them but likes a great deal of them, visa versa. She also has a compatible sex drive/sexual interests with mine, which for ref mine is very abnormally high. I actively find myself falling for her super hard and fast. I feel like all my hopes and prayers while single my whole life about having a killer gf has been answered in full. Being around her is the best and when around her I want the best for her/to do better and be better for her. I care a lot about her. I could very easily write many paragraphs of what I like about her and how much compatibility we have but basically the level is fucking astonishing. She’s the best thing to come into my life by a looooooong shot and outside of silly things like ‘is a billionaire’ ‘is a celebrity’ or something like that, I really couldn’t ask for more as she has checked all the boxes across the board. (Which I look at when I’m not riding cloud9 so I can have a less emotionally clouded look) The feelings are fully reciprocated.
_____________________________________________________________________
This brings me to my only issue and it eats me. I’m not feeling quite as hot on the physical attraction aspect and it is tearing me up inside because and makes me feel like a scumbag as it betrays my feelings for her. (I’d never bring it up or even hint at it and i’ve gone to great lengths and with great success to ensure she feels great about herself and quite beautiful, as this is a huge insecurity for her which i’m trying to help her vanquish it) Additionally she’s 34 and I’m 26. Both soon to turn the next year. She’s quite a bit overweight. Which in of itself isn’t a bad thing as it’s case by case basis. However I find myself not very strongly attracted to her except I do find sometimes she looks quite cute/sexy in the face and from the chest up she’s quite attractive.
However the thing is, (unrelated to me) she is super determined to lose the weight and get healthier and become attractive. Which I support as that’s something she wants to do, she should do it for herself.
Part of me hopes that when she does do this, that she will become much more attractive to me and the other part absolutely dreads that she won’t and the thought kills me as I have very strong feelings for her and I abhor myself that ‘this’ attraction could stand in the way of my attraction to her. She’s really special to me and I look forward to and thoroughly enjoy being with her.
I don’t want to string her along and at the same time I don’t want to leave an amazing woman over something that might not be an issue in the future.
I’m aware that attraction/lack of doesn’t make me bad, but knowing that logically doesn’t make me feel any less of.a PoS.
I’m more interested in those that have been a situation like mine and how did you proceed and how did it end up. Did it go well, did it end poorly, etc. Also the age difference has crossed my mind only because I have a small worry of remaining attracted to her. I’ve never been in a relationship before, so maybe I will not notice but maybe I will, I don’t have a point of reference and I seek out those who also have exp with either an age gap or just aging in general with their partner.