Surprised to find out he’s gay?

Clean Cut and Hung

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When I find out a guy is gay — through others or he comes out to me — I’m usually 1) not surprised at all, i.e., duh or 2) never really questioned his sexuality and assumed he was straight. In either scenario I’m just happy they discovered who they are and want to live their life as they want.

Recently I found out a guy from college is gay. He was really good looking (haven’t seen him since); had a goodlooking girlfriend; they were super nice and always seemed in the best of moods — “the perfect couple”; girls talked about him all the time; they got married soon after graduating and started a family. Granted none of these are indicators of sexuality. Similar to scenario #2 above, I just never thought he was gay... but frankly I was really surprised. I think my initial response was something like, “No. Hold on. Who are you talking about? No way. Who dated “Katie”? Get out. Wow!”

Side Note: Since this is LPSG... I saw him naked a few times in the dorm showers; it was the year before they remodeled the open showers into individual stalls over the summer. He had a beautiful body — athletic, fit, smooth, defined chest; nice arms; thick, dark armpit hair; strong legs, perfect muscular, round, smooth ass; meaty cock that hung about 4” and was super thick; nice balls; and a thick, dark bush. One morning in the area where we were drying off his gold chain necklace came off. He bent down in front of me to pick it up. The view of the back of his strong legs, his cock and balls hanging between them and his spread, smooth, hot ass and quick glimpse of his tightly puckered hole was enough to send me over the edge! When I got back to my room, my roommate had left for class, I pulled out my dick and jacked off thinking about fucking his hot ass! A few years later I ran into a guy who lived on the same floor at a gay bar in another city. It was one of those “Oh, hey. So you’re gay too. Haha” kind of running into’s. As we were catching up this guy’s name came up (before I knew he was gay). We talked about how hot he was. How we’d both seen him naked. How we liked his thick cock and hot ass. And we both admitted we’d jacked off thinking about him. We laughed about this. And it’s funny looking back at it we didn’t know each other was gay and we’d both been stroking our boned up dicks thinking about this hot guy — who also turned out to be gay.

Sorry for the diversion... lol

So back to my question...

Have you ever been surprised to find out someone is gay! Who was he? Why were you surprised?
 

OKCLane

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Typically people are surprised to learn that I’m guy. I can’t think of a single guy who surprised me.
That said, I will admit that I’m not on Facebook or other social media and have not had contact with HS or Univ classmates in 30+ years, so surprises may yet come.
 
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tito21

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Typically people are surprised to learn that I’m guy. I can’t think of a single guy who surprised me.
That said, I will admit that I’m not on Facebook or other social media and have not had contact with HS or Univ classmates in 30+ years, so surprises may yet come.

Really? Looking at your pics, i can still tell that you’re a guy even if i’m blind. Even if you tuck that big old sausage of yours up your hole, i think your body would still give away that you’re a man no matter what dress + wig you have on. Unless you only hang around in pub/bar areas in total darkness/with heavy smogs and only show up at the venue after 2am when everyone is dead drunk. Then yeah, i’ll buy that some people might be surprised to learn that you’re a guy.
 

Brodie888

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Really? Looking at your pics, i can still tell that you’re a guy even if i’m blind. Even if you tuck that big old sausage of yours up your hole, i think your body would still give away that you’re a man no matter what dress + wig you have on. Unless you only hang around in pub/bar areas in total darkness/with heavy smogs and only show up at the venue after 2am when everyone is dead drunk. Then yeah, i’ll buy that some people might be surprised to learn that you’re a guy.

I think he meant to write "gay" not "guy".
 

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A few years later I ran into a guy who lived on the same floor at a gay bar in another city. It was one of those “Oh, hey. So you’re gay too. Haha”

In high school I ran into one of my teachers at a gaybar. This was back in the 90s. We sort of stared at each other a sec and he went "I didn't see you here if you didn't see me here..."
 

tito21

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I think he meant to write "gay" not "guy".
Yes, clearly the difference between having a dick and being one.

I know. I was just being silly! I’m surprised OKCLane took an offense to my silly joke!

My gaydar is broken. So i’m oblivious to this kind of thing.

One of my highschool friends was gay which I had no idea. I was always around Matt for most of my teens, until he moved away to live with his older sister. He told me that he got into a fight with his dad but didn’t say what. Looking back, his dad may have kicked him out :(

When i found out that Matt is gay, looking back, it all made sense. Back then, I couldn’t ride bike (even today), so Matt would always let me sit (side saddle) on the top tube of the bike frame infront of him. I would lean back against him most of the time or he would lean forward to press his chest against my back. We lived in a small town and there wasn’t much traffic in the area, so we rode everywhere in the local neighbourhood like that.

When puberty kicked in, i got too big to sit on the tube in front comfortably. So Matt bought a pair of rear foot pegs for the bike, just so I could stand on it while we rode around the neighbourhood and such. In my teens, i’m scared of the dark and so Matt would always walk me home no matter how late it was.

In our late teens, Matt started working out and got an ear piercing. Though at one time, while I was using his computer, I saw some semi-nude pics that he took of himself wearing his white shirt in the shower and covering his cock. I didn’t think too much of it, I thought he was just being vain and wanted to show off his muscles. Well, to be honest, Matt was quite vain and always wanted to look good. So I thought he was just trying to imitate what he saw on the magazine covers/TV.

Matt moved away and quit school in our final year of highshool. He just said he got into a big fight with his dad. So I didn’t think too much of it either. I wasn’t devastated or anything, at that age, I just moved on and hung around with other friends in school. I was quite a bratty and entitled person in my teens. I wish I could have told him how much I appreciated his friendship and what a wonderful friend he was to me.

A few years after highschool. I bumped into an old highschool mate and we started talking about the past. Anyway, he told me that he saw Matt recently and that he was built like a tank. So, out of curiousty, I googled Matt and found his instagram page. He was posing in his underwears and half naked in most of his photos - with other half naked men. I also came across some gay club poster ads of him posing in jockstrap promoting some gay events. Matt’s body was covered in tattooes. I wasn’t surprised to see Matt turned out this way in terms of his physical appearance, he has always been quite vain and trendy. Though, I was very surprised to see that he’s gay. I was oblivious to his sexuality and that he didnt have a girl friend or shown any interests in women back then.

I have only checked up on Matt twice. I felt like a stalker checking out his pictures on Instagram so I stopped! The memory that we shared together is a thing of the past and I will cherish it. I wish him all the best and a happy life.
 
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My senior year of college I was at one of our frat meetings and two of the guys in my class were talking about a brother who had graduated the year before and moved to SF. This was pre FB blowing up and I'm not sure how they knew but one of them was like "he's gay??". Apparently he came out after moving away from the rural south. Neither guy said anything negative and I didn't know the man very well but I definitely listed and was like "hmm.....".

I guess I am that "gay guy" people know from HS. I am social media friends with about a dozen of my old classmates and to my knowledge none of them are gay or lesbian but I don't really keep up with high school classmates. I have ran across one guy from my hometown here in Atlanta who is only about 25 and his parents attend the same church as my mom. He's openly gay and we've hung out once but we really aren't friends.
 

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I was really surprised when this guy i used to chat with on twitter and then on facebook started flirting with me. we were friends on twitter and later on facebook and i'd often see his photos and think ''he's cute but can't be gay'' until he started texting me and i realised he might be flirting. he looked really str8 and i wasn't even sure he was flirting, i though he was just being nice and wanted to be my friend. later on we skyped and still i was really confused, i did not get any gay vibes from this dude, even though he was fun to talk with and we had a great time. i was worried the ''flirting'' was all in my mind and that i was going to embarrass myself trying to get our conversation to something sexual. well things evolved after a few weeks of us skyping daily and i was sure he was gay and that he liked me and later on i traveled to meet him we had sex and he was my boyfriend. the surprising fact is that we talked for over a month on Skype and i was never sure he was gay until we talked about it.

Another dude i knew in person was my cousin's friend, really macho, tall, hairy, bear type in general,a few years older than me, we had talked very few times. He would always hang out with my cousin and other macho guys and i had no sign this guy might be gay. I was on grindr and this dude send a ''hi'' and a bunch of photos, his face and some dick pics. it was him! i was so surprised this dude was on grindr by no means i would ever think he was gay. well i never replied cause obviously he was my cousin's friend and i am in the closet, as i'm guessing he also is closeted, plus he wasn't my type anyway and his dick was small. i did see him again after that with my cousin and of course i pretended i don't know anything but in my mind i am always thinking ''i have seen your small penis''
 

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Our high school quarterback, a hot Italian, who always dated beautiful girls in HS went to college and wrote a letter to his parents the first week of there saying he was gay...always was. If only we both were comfortable with it back then! But this was the late 90s when nobody came out.
 

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When I find out a guy is gay — through others or he comes out to me — I’m usually 1) not surprised at all, i.e., duh or 2) never really questioned his sexuality and assumed he was straight. In either scenario I’m just happy they discovered who they are and want to live their life as they want.

Recently I found out a guy from college is gay. He was really good looking (haven’t seen him since); had a goodlooking girlfriend; they were super nice and always seemed in the best of moods — “the perfect couple”; girls talked about him all the time; they got married soon after graduating and started a family. Granted none of these are indicators of sexuality. Similar to scenario #2 above, I just never thought he was gay... but frankly I was really surprised. I think my initial response was something like, “No. Hold on. Who are you talking about? No way. Who dated “Katie”? Get out. Wow!”

Side Note: Since this is LPSG... I saw him naked a few times in the dorm showers; it was the year before they remodeled the open showers into individual stalls over the summer. He had a beautiful body — athletic, fit, smooth, defined chest; nice arms; thick, dark armpit hair; strong legs, perfect muscular, round, smooth ass; meaty cock that hung about 4” and was super thick; nice balls; and a thick, dark bush. One morning in the area where we were drying off his gold chain necklace came off. He bent down in front of me to pick it up. The view of the back of his strong legs, his cock and balls hanging between them and his spread, smooth, hot ass and quick glimpse of his tightly puckered hole was enough to send me over the edge! When I got back to my room, my roommate had left for class, I pulled out my dick and jacked off thinking about fucking his hot ass! A few years later I ran into a guy who lived on the same floor at a gay bar in another city. It was one of those “Oh, hey. So you’re gay too. Haha” kind of running into’s. As we were catching up this guy’s name came up (before I knew he was gay). We talked about how hot he was. How we’d both seen him naked. How we liked his thick cock and hot ass. And we both admitted we’d jacked off thinking about him. We laughed about this. And it’s funny looking back at it we didn’t know each other was gay and we’d both been stroking our boned up dicks thinking about this hot guy — who also turned out to be gay.

Sorry for the diversion... lol

So back to my question...

Have you ever been surprised to find out someone is gay! Who was he? Why were you surprised?
My boyfriend of 9 years, the first time I met him I didn’t know he was gay. We met through friends, we were out for lunch and he joined us afterward. We decided to move to a local pub that requires a drive. Our friends decided to take a detour and got held up but we both arrived separately. We had a few drinks and conversration and we found out we had a lot in common. I was really relaxed because I just assumes he was straight and unattainable and assumed we’d make good friends.

A week later he messaged me on a gay website and asked me out, I was so shocked!
 
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I am usually not surprised, I have quite the functional gaydar.

I met my best friend in an association. My gaydar told me he wasn't straight. We were having a talk inside a small group of people and the topic was relations. He answered first how he had a girlfriend, I answered after him told how I had a boyfriend. No one besides him was actually surprised because they knew me before.

Either way: He was a little flirty over the years and we did flirt but it was harmless. However just last year he came out to me. not like anything changed, really.
 

ohiorod

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Three instances come to mind:
The first was after my partner died after an automobile crash. I eventually became friends with an Episcopalian priest who I would just talk to about my loss . It wasn’t really a professional setting, we would meet for coffee or in one case a beer. Well, after about 2 months (6 months after the death), he asked if I wanted to go to the movies. I met him there and he had already bought the tickets. I offered to pay him, but he refused. Later, we went back to his apt. for a glass of wine. Half way through the glass of wine , he said if I liked, I could stay the night and he went in for a kiss. I literally panicked when I realized he was gay and that I had just gone on a date. I was in no way ready to date yet. I made up an excuse that I had to walk my dog and thanked him. Truth is I did not own a dog, I was desperate to get out of there and I felt trapped. I had no idea he was gay.

A second time, I was in a casual situation with a catholic priest who was clearly drinking. I was there to discuss a funeral service for one of my hiv clients who had died. Well, he came on to me strong and I kept my distance the best I could. If he had not been a priest, I would have taken him up on it in a heartbeat. He was drop dead gorgeous and had very deep blue eyes. I did not know he was gay. Recently, Gus name was released as a priest who had abused seminarians. That saddened me.

Finally, my most recent surprise was when the doctor who is now my partner asked me out. He had a picture of himself a woman and two kids on his desk. I later learned it was his sister and his two nieces. I had no idea he was gay!

Maybe my gaydar needs a tuneup! Lol
 

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Side Note: Since this is LPSG... I saw him naked a few times in the dorm showers; it was the year before they remodeled the open showers into individual stalls over the summer. He had a beautiful body — athletic, fit, smooth, defined chest; nice arms; thick, dark armpit hair; strong legs, perfect muscular, round, smooth ass; meaty cock that hung about 4” and was super thick; nice balls; and a thick, dark bush.

My university remodeled the showers into individual stalls as well. Total waste of money if you ask me! Those gang showers were wonderful.
 

tito21

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Three instances come to mind:
The first was after my partner died after an automobile crash. I eventually became friends with an Episcopalian priest who I would just talk to about my loss . It wasn’t really a professional setting, we would meet for coffee or in one case a beer. Well, after about 2 months (6 months after the death), he asked if I wanted to go to the movies. I met him there and he had already bought the tickets. I offered to pay him, but he refused. Later, we went back to his apt. for a glass of wine. Half way through the glass of wine , he said if I liked, I could stay the night and he went in for a kiss. I literally panicked when I realized he was gay and that I had just gone on a date. I was in no way ready to date yet. I made up an excuse that I had to walk my dog and thanked him. Truth is I did not own a dog, I was desperate to get out of there and I felt trapped. I had no idea he was gay.

A second time, I was in a casual situation with a catholic priest who was clearly drinking. I was there to discuss a funeral service for one of my hiv clients who had died. Well, he came on to me strong and I kept my distance the best I could. If he had not been a priest, I would have taken him up on it in a heartbeat. He was drop dead gorgeous and had very deep blue eyes. I did not know he was gay. Recently, Gus name was released as a priest who had abused seminarians. That saddened me.

Finally, my most recent surprise was when the doctor who is now my partner asked me out. He had a picture of himself a woman and two kids on his desk. I later learned it was his sister and his two nieces. I had no idea he was gay!

Maybe my gaydar needs a tuneup! Lol

Sad to hear about the loss of your partner. I don’t Know what I would do if I was in your shoes and the priest starting to hit on me after I have just lost the love of my life. His action was disrespectful to be honest and almost predatory. You would have think he would know better not to cross the line and show some respect to a grieving person, and not trying to take advantage of another person when they’re at their most vulnerable.

And that 2nd priest was also the same. Predatory and down right disgusting based on what you told us. I hate people who prey on the young, weak and vulnerable. If you want to get laid and can’t find a date, go hire an escort and not abuse other people.

May I ask, do you appear meek by any chance? Usually those predatory people only single out the meek and vulnerable people as their easy target.
 
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ohiorod

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Sad to hear about the loss of your partner. I don’t Know what I would do if I was in your shoes and the priest starting to hit on me after I have just lost the love of my life. His action was disrespectful to be honest and almost predatory. You would have think he would know better not to cross the line and show some respect to a grieving person, and not trying to take advantage of another person when they’re at their most vulnerable.

And that 2nd priest was also the same. Predatory and down right disgusting based on what you told us. I hate people who prey on the young, weak and vulnerable. If you want to get laid and can’t find a date, go hire an escort and not abuse other people.

May I ask, do you appear meek by any chance? Usually those predatory people only single out the meek and vulnerable people as their easy target.

I don’t think I appear meek at all, but certainly vulnerable in the case of the Episcopalian priest. I think the fact that I knew both of those priests from my work in HIV and that I am usually an outgoing person
may have given them the idea that I was a possible sexual partner and of course both knew I was gay. But, I never flirted with either of them. The first guy would never be my type and after being raised Catholic, I would never knowingly have sex with a priest who took a vow of celibacy. He, though, was a very attractive, but off bounds in my mind.

Thanks for your very kind words. I have had a new understanding of what it is to lose a partner ever since I lost mine. It has helped me in my work as a social worker, but it was the toughest lesson I ever had to learn that benefitted my work. Thanks again.