Suspects Husband Is Bisexual: How to Tell?

[deleted15807]

Is the man queer? I don't fucking know. If he's your husband, ask him!

I have to agree here. I we can't identify for ourselves what we are what's left?

 

[Principessa]

I'm posting the following on behalf of a friend who asked me to post this question on this forum which she knows I frequent:

My husband often checks out other guys. After a couple of years of watching him watching men more than I do, I finally gently inquired about it. He said that he looks at other men as more of a fashion thing, like what kind of pants, jacket or haircut they have. My husband is very fashion conscious and has more hair products than I do, so I can understand how what he says might be true. However, I still feel like his attention towards other men, over women is a little sketchy. Always go with your first thought.

In past relationships I have often engaged in anal play/stimulation and enjoyed it. My husband and I did also, he is very much into anal play and had expressed that he had had several prior relationships with women with whom he had had anal sex with. In our marriage, on a couple of occasions, we took our anal/finger play a step farther with a dildo. I never got a chance to use it! He was very into being fully penetrated anally. To the point where I was a little stunned that he was so able to take it all in so quickly and freely. I, having engaged in anal sex before, need a little time and lube to get there.

My husband admitted to one time event before we were married when he was drunk, where he awoke to another man giving him a blowjob. He told the man to get the fuck out and that was it. He shares with me that he used to be hit on all the time by other men and that he found it flattering.
ROTFLMAO :biggrin1: If he said it happend only once and he hated it, he's lying. It probably happend 50 times and he loved every second and probably even reciprocated.:wink:
So, that's it. Don't know if perhaps I'm being paranoid. I feel like I could let it go if he didn't check out other guys so much. You know the answer in your heart already.:redface: Can anyone relate to this issue or have any comments that would be helpful?[/quote] He's either bi or gay but he is definetely not 100% straight!

*SNIP* She was able to penetrate him easily, that doesn't mean he's been penetrated before it could mean that he's relaxed about it and comfortable and trusting of his wife. He's with you, not with a guy, I wouldn't worry.

SP you are so delightfully trusting and naive.

To me, He's definately Bisexual.

That was my first thought.

metrosexual shmetrosexual ... only big queens and real women are THAT into hairdos ... He is gay (a bit bi but mainly gay), in the closet obviously, and he is lying about what happened earlier (protesting too much) and obviously too skilled at self-repression to actually 'express' interest ... this is pretty obvious to any gay man ... amazing how fantastically clueless people can become when they desparately don't want to believe something ... by the way, closet cases are bad news, they end up going to nasty places to get their kicks ... and he is obviously DEEPLY experienced ... you'll wanna find a nice way to warn your friend ... of course there won't ever be any overwhelming evidence - he's not a senator getting trailed by stingers - but it will be a long slow painful heartwrenching gutwrenching failure if she stays this slippy course

y'all don't have to believe it but it takes one to know one ...[/quote]
I thought he was bisexual until I read your post. I now think he's probably gay.

Far too many signs imo. Too much smoke... guess a fire is a plausible (if not certain) explanation.

My cousin's friend was like him, and came out of the closet not too long ago. Same situation here? I don't know... don't know the guy or anything... but it's possible, yes.

Where there's smoke there's fire; and you are right way too damned much smoke in this story.

From his emotional distance and deep attachment to his mother. Distant in that he does not talk openly about his life, his friendships, or even something as simple as what he's reading. Inquiries to discover and share daily information are treated as tribunal questions. Attachments to his mother include his mother treating him with overt favoritism to the point it was amazingly obvious. He calls her many times a day, sometimes ten or more. She even has remodeled a carriage house at her home and wants him to move there to live permanently. My friend refuses to move anywhere near her husband's mother.
That's odd and annoying but I am not sure I would equate all of his odd behavior with being gay. Not a senator, but he is a lawyer in a state where admitting homosexuality to your wife could be legally considered grounds for fault of divorce and they've been skirting divorce since they were married. There's the clincher! He's also poisoned the waters by getting a consultation from every top divorce attorney in the state. He's finally found a boyfriend and is fixing to leave his filly to share greener pastures with a stallion over yonder. If she knows that he already has a divorce lawyer and they have had problems since the begining what the fuck is she waiting for?!?! She needs to get a good divorce lawyer yesterday! Speaking from personal experience, I'd have to agree with that. My friend states that her husband wasn't getting off from her using the dildo with him so much as from the act itself. She felt relegated to being a mere facilitator.

He's gay!

IMHO, he is most likely gay. At first I thought he was bisexual; but after reading this entire thread it became abundantly clear that he is a major closet case.

 

[AlteredEgo]

I hate when people want to stuff each other into neat little compartments. It's pathetic.

 

[lisa_2662]

All I can say is I think you need to talk to him about your concerns at this point, not us. I know that's difficult, but at some point both of you need to get all the facts out and face them, whatever they may be.

 

[deleted15807]

I hate when people want to stuff each other into neat little compartments. It's pathetic.

I think it must have something to do with the human brain. We apparently like classifications. Kinsey came up with 6 different stops along the sexuality continum in 1948 but still we like the ends more than the betweens.

Kinsey scale - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

[Principessa]

I hate when people want to stuff each other into neat little compartments. It's pathetic.

Pfffttt! Compartments are damned useful. :smile: That's why everyone loves The Container Store and California Closets. :biggrin1:

The most important thing in the entire thread is this:

Not a senator, but he is a lawyer in a state where admitting homosexuality to your wife could be legally considered grounds for fault of divorce and they've been skirting divorce since they were married. He's also poisoned the waters by getting a consultation from every top divorce attorney in the state.

​

This man is gay and he is leaving her. She needs to get an attorney and get her ducks in a row. This could be a long, drawn out battle.

 

[lisa_2662]

This man is gay and he is leaving her. She needs to get an attorney and get her ducks in a row. This could be a long, drawn out battle.

Well if that's the case I would think a private eye and pics of him cheating with some guy would be the kicker. Obviously an attorney is also needed at some point.

 

[novice_btm]

I think it must have something to do with the human brain. We apparently like classifications. Kinsey came up with 6 different stops along the sexuality continum in 1948 but still we like the ends more than the betweens.

Kinsey scale - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Yes, far too many still seem to think along the lines of, "I can't be bothered with all of those infinite shades of grey in between, when I can just choose EITHER black, OR white." Of course, the more ridiculous, is the number of people, who, when there's as little as a droplet of mixing the two colours, will still instantly classify even the 99.99999% straight guy, as 100% GAY. :23:

 

[AlteredEgo]

And then they all wonder why their men won't confide anything in them; they wonder why every question is a war.

 

[B_All4show]

My husband admitted to one time event before we were married when he was drunk, where he awoke to another man giving him a blowjob. He told the man to get the fuck out and that was it. He shares with me that he used to be hit on all the time by other men and that he found it flattering.

This was a test. He was testing his wife to see how she felt about it. If she would have reacted differently, he may have opened up more or kept it on the down low according to her reaction.

I would investigate how these discussions came up to find out if it is fantasy or truth.

 

[joejack]

If they aren't already bisexual, after 7 years of marriage without any pussy on the side, they will become bisexual.

 

[zawfi]

Well, he's into anal play. Dead give-away. Revoke his Straight Guy permit.

Seriously, she should just talk to him about it openly without being worried of losing him. Does she suspect him of cheating on her? Maybe he's faithfully monogamous, but likes guys too. Does every straight guy who eyes beautiful women cheat on his wife? No. And not every bisexual guy have sex on the side. Nor does every gay guy.

She has to figure out what she wants. A guy who likes being with her, has what sounds like good sex with her, and is faithful -- if that's what she's got, what's to complain about?

 

[novice_btm]

Seriously, she should just talk to him about it openly without being worried of losing him. Does she suspect him of cheating on her? Maybe he's faithfully monogamous, but likes guys too. Does every straight guy who eyes beautiful women cheat on his wife? No. And not every bisexual guy have sex on the side. Nor does every gay guy.

You're making way too much sense. You should be careful about such things when posting here. :wink:

She has to figure out what she wants. A guy who likes being with her, has what sounds like good sex with her, and is faithful -- if that's what she's got, what's to complain about?

I don't know if this applies to her, but some people thrive on creating misery and drama in their lives.

 

[Hugh G. Rection]

The husband has expressed no interest in sex with men. He has expressed no such curiosity. From where do these presumptions come?

HE TOOK A RUBBER COCK UP HIS ASS

 

[AlteredEgo]

HE TOOK A RUBBER COCK UP HIS ASS

There is no such thing as a rubber penis. Please see the definition of penis if you do not believe me.

What he permitted to be inserted was a toy. What you fail to note is that he was WITH A WOMAN AT THE TIME.

Anal sex feels good and promotes the production of seminal fluid. Since it is clear that humans have sex not merely for reproduction, but also for pleasure, why should anyone not experiment with what is naturally pleasing? Why would there be nerve endings so richly concentrated on the prostate if not for stimulation?

 

[MidwestGal]

I would let your friend I think there is more to the story than he is telling and that she should seek some legal counsel of her own if she is hearing words of divorce. I think he is more than bi-curious myself if not gay.

Honestly, it doesn't matter to me what his sexuality is. I feel bad for your friend having to go through this and question her marriage and trust in her "partner." Please give her my reguards. I'm sorry she is going through a rough time. She is lucky to have you as a friend.

 

[dreamer20]

In past relationships I have often engaged in anal play/stimulation and enjoyed it...<and> My husband did also <in> several prior relationships with women ...
In our marriage, on a couple of occasions, we play<ed> <with> a dildo. He was very into being fully penetrated anally. To the point where I was a little stunned that he was so able to take it all in so quickly and freely. I, having engaged in anal sex before, need a little time and lube to get there...

Spot the obvious contradiction. She knew that they both liked/ experienced anal play before marriage. Now she is supposedly "stunned" that he still likes anal play? He is satisfied with their sex life, yet the same things that she enjoys are somehow justification for her to find fault with him? This is clearly a double standard. She needs to stop being such a hypocrite and realize they are both doing nothing more than playing with sex toys.

From his emotional distance and deep attachment to his mother. Distant in that he does not talk openly about his life, his friendships, or even something as simple as what he's reading. Inquiries are treated as tribunal questions. ...He calls <his mother> many times a day, sometimes ten or more. She wants him to move there to live permanently. My friend refuses to move anywhere near her husband's mother.
...they've been skirting divorce since they were married. He's also poisoned the waters by getting a consultation from every top divorce attorney in the state.

As his mother was loving and doted on her son they naturally possess a mutual attachment to each other. Then this evil woman came along and took her dearest son away.:tongue: Obviously there are issues going on in this marriage as you have stated "they have been skirting divorce" from its very start. I suspect that what you refer to as his wife's "inquiries" were too many nagging questions and needless criticism which "poisoned the waters". I would advise your friend and her husband to consult a marriage counseller to discuss their issues.

And then they all wonder why their men won't confide anything in them; they wonder why every question is a war.