I am a 31 year old, tall (6'8"), swedish guy.
I joined Measurection in November and learned about this site after a week or two. I never dared to come close to visiting it, but I digress ...
First things first, my (long and revealing) introduction I originally wrote for Measurection!
(It's in italic and deals with my life up to the point I joined measurection. My LPSG introduction can be found at the bottom.)
I was always tall. I mean really, really tall.
I was two heads taller than my peers in first grade. I was always, always, the tallest guy in school, not to mention my class.
I never had any problems with that. Sure, some kids would call me names, but I never let them get to me. I always felt comfortable, I had close friends, most of them on the taller side.
I never got into physical sports or taking advantage of my size to get my way. I was always more of an introvert thinker, appreciating knowledge and logic.
Then along came puberty. Or rather, it did not.
At age eleven, I noticed for the first time after gym class, that one guy started to get pubic hair. The image burned into my mind. I realized things were changing. But I didn't realize why, or that I was heading down that path. Perhaps that's because I wasn't heading down that path at that time, and my mind wasn't able to handle that possibility ...
In any way, I noticed that most boys started to develop, but I stayed the same. I couldn't help but reading every article in every magazine I came across about young people worrying about their development. The answer was always the same: "You're perfectly normal, everyone develops at different ages!"
Blissfully ignorant, I accepted these advices. Surely they applied to me, too, right? Wrong.
The years went pass, and nothing was happening. Imagine being thirteen years old, and have zero development. If I hadn't been the tallest guy in school, I am sure I would have been teased or bullied for it. Luckily I avoided most of that.
Every shower after gym class was a nightmare. I mean, gym class was like a black hole in the weekly schedule. That day was pretty much ruined, from the calm before the storm in the morning classes, the horrific countdown during gym class, looking at the clock every five minutes, and then the whole fucking routine trying to be the first guy into the shower, if that didn't work, locking oneself in the bathroom trying to fluff up, towel maneuvers, and the whole afternoon being ruined because of that awful experience.
I felt like utter crap, not all the time, but as soon as physical activity, showering, going swimming or going to the beach came up. The only activities I enjoyed involved sitting indoors, by a computer or watching movies. As long as the group was just hanging out, everything was fine. Just like it used to be before this whole puberty thing got into the picture.
I had even been confronted by my friends, in hindsight I admire them for trying to mention the elephant in the room. They simply asked "Do you have a complex about anything?". I knew what they were talking about, but part of me wished they hadn't noticed anything, and I answered "No.". The question was never brought up again.
I eventually realized being this late was far from normal. At the age of fourteen I confronted my parents. I told them I felt anxious about my pubertal development. I eventually got a doctor's appointment, and they sampled my blood for hormone levels and such. They also inspected my genitals, including measuring my balls in one hand holding a series of beads in the other for size measurement. It was ... awkward.
They noticed my length charts and suggested I should do a MRI of my head. After a few days I went through the MRI, and a few days later they invited us back for the analysis.
I had a brain tumor in the area of the brain controlling growth and pubertal development, it had been there almost all my life, contributing to my tall stature aswell as my nonexisting development.
It was a truly awful experience. I was in a haze for weeks afterwards. I didn't tell anyone of my friends what I had been doing or what the results said. I made up excuses as I went to Stockholm with my parents to have surgery. The surgery went well, there was some issues but nothing major. They removed the tumor, made sure fluids and blood flowed as they should without the blockage, and left a tube to drain the fluids that had been building up. When I woke up I had a tube coming out from a hole in my forehead, and the change to my brain had me throwing up for hours, not being able to focus my eyes, not being able to walk etc.
But I got better, and after a few days I could walk and focus my eyes again. They removed the tube, and stitched my scalp up. We went home, and a few weeks later we got the stitches removed.
My development started to take off, I had been able to masturbate before the surgery, but I didn't deliver any goods so to speak. A year or so later, it was amazing to all of a sudden see my first drop of semen!
This whole ordeal left me completely out of the loop when it came to dating, girlfriends or sex. I not only lacked the physical attributes, but my emotional side was equally affected by the tumor. I was a child at heart! I didn't find girls or intimacy interesting! I met a girl at band camp (yes, band camp), and she tried to lead me through the whole "getting a girlfriend"-expreience. I was clueless. She made blunt invitations, talked about sex, she touched and kissed and joked about what we could do. I was clueless. She even bought condoms, waiting for me to make any move at all. Nothing.
A friend of mine had a girlfriend for a few years. I was perhaps 20 at the time. They broke up, and at a party we were all at she took me for a walk. She talked a lot about her relationship with him being over, and how she felt comfortable around me. I was clueless. When we were about to arrive back at the party, she said bluntly "Of all the guys I know, you are the one I would like to sleep with!". I remember coming up with something along the lines of "Oh, well ... I'm flattered!"
So here I am, a 6'8" tall, 270 pound, 31 year old virgin, but finally with a pretty much normal, although not proportional, 6" penis (7" bonepressed).
The experience of going through my youth the way I did left me quite crippled in the confidence department.
Since i wrote this introduction back in November I have changed my attitude toward a lot of things. I found plenty of support in the guys and girls at measurection. The experience and the conversations I've had has been absolutely awesome. I have gained some confidence, I have started to look after myself. I have started going to therapy sessions. I have lost weight.
I realized I have developed a phobia for guys with dicks bigger than my own. I heard about LPSG after being on MR for a few weeks, but my heart started racing as soon as I saw the web address. When I saw the nickname of a hung MR-member in the "online"-list, or in the chat room, I felt such anxiety.
When I saw a hung guy displaying himself in video chat I felt sick to my stomach. It was like some sort of detox-process!
I tried joining LPSG in December, to sort of face my fears. But I wasn't ready. I had tunnel vision, and felt dizzy when trying to navigate the site.
Today, things are much better. I have had plenty of conversations with guys of all sizes, and the demons from my past are fading.
I realized hung guys are not to blame because I was so small for so long.
I realized hung guys are not blissfully happy and confident around the clock.
I realized hung guys do not possess anything and everything I ever wanted.
So, if I may, I hope to stick around and continue this healing process I begun in November.
And yes, I am still a virgin. One step at a time ...
I joined Measurection in November and learned about this site after a week or two. I never dared to come close to visiting it, but I digress ...
First things first, my (long and revealing) introduction I originally wrote for Measurection!
(It's in italic and deals with my life up to the point I joined measurection. My LPSG introduction can be found at the bottom.)
I was always tall. I mean really, really tall.
I was two heads taller than my peers in first grade. I was always, always, the tallest guy in school, not to mention my class.
I never had any problems with that. Sure, some kids would call me names, but I never let them get to me. I always felt comfortable, I had close friends, most of them on the taller side.
I never got into physical sports or taking advantage of my size to get my way. I was always more of an introvert thinker, appreciating knowledge and logic.
Then along came puberty. Or rather, it did not.
At age eleven, I noticed for the first time after gym class, that one guy started to get pubic hair. The image burned into my mind. I realized things were changing. But I didn't realize why, or that I was heading down that path. Perhaps that's because I wasn't heading down that path at that time, and my mind wasn't able to handle that possibility ...
In any way, I noticed that most boys started to develop, but I stayed the same. I couldn't help but reading every article in every magazine I came across about young people worrying about their development. The answer was always the same: "You're perfectly normal, everyone develops at different ages!"
Blissfully ignorant, I accepted these advices. Surely they applied to me, too, right? Wrong.
The years went pass, and nothing was happening. Imagine being thirteen years old, and have zero development. If I hadn't been the tallest guy in school, I am sure I would have been teased or bullied for it. Luckily I avoided most of that.
Every shower after gym class was a nightmare. I mean, gym class was like a black hole in the weekly schedule. That day was pretty much ruined, from the calm before the storm in the morning classes, the horrific countdown during gym class, looking at the clock every five minutes, and then the whole fucking routine trying to be the first guy into the shower, if that didn't work, locking oneself in the bathroom trying to fluff up, towel maneuvers, and the whole afternoon being ruined because of that awful experience.
I felt like utter crap, not all the time, but as soon as physical activity, showering, going swimming or going to the beach came up. The only activities I enjoyed involved sitting indoors, by a computer or watching movies. As long as the group was just hanging out, everything was fine. Just like it used to be before this whole puberty thing got into the picture.
I had even been confronted by my friends, in hindsight I admire them for trying to mention the elephant in the room. They simply asked "Do you have a complex about anything?". I knew what they were talking about, but part of me wished they hadn't noticed anything, and I answered "No.". The question was never brought up again.
I eventually realized being this late was far from normal. At the age of fourteen I confronted my parents. I told them I felt anxious about my pubertal development. I eventually got a doctor's appointment, and they sampled my blood for hormone levels and such. They also inspected my genitals, including measuring my balls in one hand holding a series of beads in the other for size measurement. It was ... awkward.
They noticed my length charts and suggested I should do a MRI of my head. After a few days I went through the MRI, and a few days later they invited us back for the analysis.
I had a brain tumor in the area of the brain controlling growth and pubertal development, it had been there almost all my life, contributing to my tall stature aswell as my nonexisting development.
It was a truly awful experience. I was in a haze for weeks afterwards. I didn't tell anyone of my friends what I had been doing or what the results said. I made up excuses as I went to Stockholm with my parents to have surgery. The surgery went well, there was some issues but nothing major. They removed the tumor, made sure fluids and blood flowed as they should without the blockage, and left a tube to drain the fluids that had been building up. When I woke up I had a tube coming out from a hole in my forehead, and the change to my brain had me throwing up for hours, not being able to focus my eyes, not being able to walk etc.
But I got better, and after a few days I could walk and focus my eyes again. They removed the tube, and stitched my scalp up. We went home, and a few weeks later we got the stitches removed.
My development started to take off, I had been able to masturbate before the surgery, but I didn't deliver any goods so to speak. A year or so later, it was amazing to all of a sudden see my first drop of semen!
This whole ordeal left me completely out of the loop when it came to dating, girlfriends or sex. I not only lacked the physical attributes, but my emotional side was equally affected by the tumor. I was a child at heart! I didn't find girls or intimacy interesting! I met a girl at band camp (yes, band camp), and she tried to lead me through the whole "getting a girlfriend"-expreience. I was clueless. She made blunt invitations, talked about sex, she touched and kissed and joked about what we could do. I was clueless. She even bought condoms, waiting for me to make any move at all. Nothing.
A friend of mine had a girlfriend for a few years. I was perhaps 20 at the time. They broke up, and at a party we were all at she took me for a walk. She talked a lot about her relationship with him being over, and how she felt comfortable around me. I was clueless. When we were about to arrive back at the party, she said bluntly "Of all the guys I know, you are the one I would like to sleep with!". I remember coming up with something along the lines of "Oh, well ... I'm flattered!"
So here I am, a 6'8" tall, 270 pound, 31 year old virgin, but finally with a pretty much normal, although not proportional, 6" penis (7" bonepressed).
The experience of going through my youth the way I did left me quite crippled in the confidence department.
Since i wrote this introduction back in November I have changed my attitude toward a lot of things. I found plenty of support in the guys and girls at measurection. The experience and the conversations I've had has been absolutely awesome. I have gained some confidence, I have started to look after myself. I have started going to therapy sessions. I have lost weight.
I realized I have developed a phobia for guys with dicks bigger than my own. I heard about LPSG after being on MR for a few weeks, but my heart started racing as soon as I saw the web address. When I saw the nickname of a hung MR-member in the "online"-list, or in the chat room, I felt such anxiety.
When I saw a hung guy displaying himself in video chat I felt sick to my stomach. It was like some sort of detox-process!
I tried joining LPSG in December, to sort of face my fears. But I wasn't ready. I had tunnel vision, and felt dizzy when trying to navigate the site.
Today, things are much better. I have had plenty of conversations with guys of all sizes, and the demons from my past are fading.
I realized hung guys are not to blame because I was so small for so long.
I realized hung guys are not blissfully happy and confident around the clock.
I realized hung guys do not possess anything and everything I ever wanted.
So, if I may, I hope to stick around and continue this healing process I begun in November.
And yes, I am still a virgin. One step at a time ...
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