Swinging and threesomes

[Bigfatone7464]

ladies I have a question I hope I can get some honest replies.
A bit about us. My wife and I been together for 20 years now. We are now 40. We been to many nude resorts in the carribean and also Desire in Mexico. We both prefer to be nude on the beach just more comfortable. When we were at Desire we did some mutual touching with another couple but that is it. Wife says she isnt into swapping or doing that again. We watch porn maybe a couple times a month. So I ask her today what type of porn she likes and she says swinging and threesomes. Now that I got that out of the way on to the question.
What do you think of her likeing that type of porn but telling me she wants nothing to do with that stuff. Could it be she likes it but to scared to take it further? Please I would like your opinions if you di not mind.

Thanks

 

[693987]

I would trust what your wife said when you talked to her about it. I watch porn genres and have fantasies that I don't want to make reality, too.

 

[693987]

Oh, and I don't care enough about anyone's ego on here to try and bend the truth to be more nice. Most of the female users who post frequently on here behave similarly, even if their reason for it is different than me.

 

[LaFemme]

Well, I love horror movies but have zero interest in being stabbed by Freddy Krueger.

Fantasies are different than reality. Porn is not real life.

 

[286798]

Agree with those ladies who have posted. Sometimes I watch genres that are different than something that I'd ever ever do and the fantasy is what gets me off.

Speaking as someone who experienced it this, if she says she is not interested in mutual touching or swinging... listen to her and believe her. Do not pressure her to do more. If she changes her mind and wants to revisit it, then let her. Pushing her to do more than what she says she's comfortable with is disrespectful and selfish.

 

[Bigfatone7464]

Thank you ladies for the replies. I will just not mention anything to her again about it. If she ever changes her mind maybe then. Also I get ehere your coming from about things just being a fantasy.

 

[Holly Doors]

Sounds like it's just that she likes the fantasy hunni, my husband introduced me to the swing life a long time ago but it was something I'd wanted to try and never had the opportunity or contacts before.
It doesn't sound to me like she's happy to share you'd pick up on it if she were!

It can be a dangerous thing also hunni, I've witnessed a few break ups because of couple swapping etc. it's something that you both have to be 100 % comfortable with!

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

I like watching some things. Doesn't mean I want to *do* all of those things.

Porn is a tool. We use it to satisfy our fantasies that we aren't interested in acting out in real life. If we do have an interest in making fantasy reality we clearly and openly tell one another.

You stated that "wife isn't into swapping or doing that again"... So it sounds like you have in fact discussed this.

Question seems irrelevant to be quite honest.

 

[EllieP]

I'd listen to my wife if I were you. If she said no that doesn't mean she needs convincing. It means that she does not care to do it.

 

[MatureMocha]

My questions to you BigFatOne7464 are

1. DID SHE ENGAGE IN THE FONDLING OR WAS SHE THE FONDLEE?
2. DID ONLY THE MEN DO THE FONDLING OF THE WOMEN OR WERE THE WOMEN ENGAGED AS WELL.? Oh and is she BI?

To me it sounds like you may be into it more than she.... Sometimes its really challenging to get 4 people on the same page....seems someone may take one for the team.

The fact that you only did mutual touching and no more means that the vibe wasn't there for going beyond that... Had it been a real turn on for all involved, it probably would have ended up with full swap that moment or even that night..

If that was her first experience with it and it turned her off, then the impression of what swinging is all about for her is not fun.... Sounds like she may have been doing it just to please YOU. Unfortuntately, that's the worst reason to swing.....

 

[AlteredEgo]

I really only had one swinging partner. One time, he was interested in a woman, but I found her companion extremely unappealing, physically. I liked him as a person though. I kissed him, just to see if I could tolerate more if we became friends. Disgusting. Oh, my God, I could have hurled in his mouth. I let him feel me up, to see if his touch could excite me. It couldn't. He was just... gross. He was like a hugely fat Gandalf with bad teeth. And try to find his dick under all that belly. No way.

When I told my partner about how I was feeling he was shocked. He said he couldn't believe it when he saw me kiss that guy. He told me then and there. NEVER "take one for the team". He said it was not something anyone should ever expect from me. I agreed. He said if all either of us liked from a couple was the woman, then the couple could accept that, or walk. I said, "That's all you, Baby. She is absolutely not my type." He said okay, and we went off with another couple with whom we were familiar. Fat Gandalf produced a giant bucket of lo mein, and tried to watch through the window. Seriously, he had over a gallon sized container. I couldn't perform with that kind of spectator, so the curtains were drawn for my comfort. Usually, we were much more exhibitionistic.

I'm willing, under the right conditions, to swap or have group sex, and to be watched (but never recorded). I also really enjoy sex with women, but they have to be very similar to me as personality goes, and I have to find them irresistibly attractive. Meanwhile, I hate W/W porn. Hate it. Someone needs to have a penis if I'm supposed to watch. Orgy porn is okay. As long as someone has a dick.

A fantasy and an action do not always line up. I'm sure your wife knows her own mind.

 

[Bigfatone7464]

My questions to you BigFatOne7464 are

1. DID SHE ENGAGE IN THE FONDLING OR WAS SHE THE FONDLEE?
2. DID ONLY THE MEN DO THE FONDLING OF THE WOMEN OR WERE THE WOMEN ENGAGED AS WELL.? Oh and is she BI?

To me it sounds like you may be into it more than she.... Sometimes its really challenging to get 4 people on the same page....seems someone may take one for the team.

The fact that you only did mutual touching and no more means that the vibe wasn't there for going beyond that... Had it been a real turn on for all involved, it probably would have ended up with full swap that moment or even that night..

If that was her first experience with it and it turned her off, then the impression of what swinging is all about for her is not fun.... Sounds like she may have been doing it just to please YOU. Unfortuntately, that's the worst reason to swing.....

It was all mutual. She stroked the other guy and his wife did me. Later that night the ladies played and fingered each other. Kissed and made out.

 

[MatureMocha]

It was all mutual. She stroked the other guy and his wife did me. Later that night the ladies played and fingered each other. Kissed and made out.

Oh, ok....then maybe she's one of those people who is "One and Done".....and have marked that off her "to do" list.... The advice that still stands....don't force a second time.....If she does'nt mention it....she's done