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Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by redrunner, Apr 4, 2008.
what do you think of swingers and their lifestyle? also what are your thoughts on who does it?
creepy, infectious, Jacuzzi polluters...
Honestly, I never gave it much thought. It's not something I would choose to do; but I don't have a problem with other people doing it.
Wow! That's pretty harsh. As a germaphobe I usually avoid jacuzzi's and hot tubs because they are just giant warm petri dishes of bacteria and germs.
one of my roomies did as part of a passing phase, at the urging of this guy he knew ... my roomie was a VERY well-balanced fellow, (in addition to being EXTREMELY well-hung) ... didn't last long, so, probably describes the life-style as something that one might indulge in, at certain episodic points in your life
Meant to be funny....
but still... really can't warm up to the idea of a Jacuzzi fulla swingers....
I have two good friends who are a couple and they swing. In fact, my bud is getting ready to pop the question to her. I have never seen two people more crazy about each other than they are.
The only thing I can't stand sometimes is hearing my butty talk about all the chicks he and his gf are banging together, while I'm not getting any at all. But other than being jealous of that, I have no problems with it. I think it takes an amazing ammount of respect and maturity on their parts to be with other people out of pure pleasure, yet maintain an undying love for one another. They get their pleasure by not only being together, but seeing each other get pleasure from another person. I think it shows selflessness.
Me on the other hand, I'm afraid I would be too jealous to share my girl, if I had one. But who knows, I guess you just let things take their course. I might totally change my views on things and want to try it, if we both consented of course.
Swinging works for some people - but I don't recommend this relationship style for everyone. Certainly doesn't appeal to jealous people, or people who insist that sex come with long term commitment.
I have met long-term swingers who seem very emotionally healthy. For them to stay swingers for more than a few months, they usually have worked out their relationship issues, and can communicate their needs and feelings better than others.
And I would never call them "creepy, infectious, Jacuzzi polluters..." Many can't stand creepy people and would not tolerate them for 2 seconds. Also, I met many swingers who seem far more aware of safer sex than many so-called "monogamous" people who cheat on their partner and bring diseases home with them. So consider who you call infectious before spouting off. Jacuzzi polluters? No more so than anybody else!
Having said all that, I also want to point out that I met swingers I didn't like. Such as homophobic men who don't want advances from other men, but think that watching two women get it on is entertainment.
Since some are cool and some aren't, it just shows that swingers are just as human as anybody else.
To each his/her own. If they play safe and they all agree. It's cool.
To each their own...
Well said! I have known many a wonderful "swinger" couple over the years (and a few individual ones as well) and I would not have missed my time with them - some have truly healthy relationships, wanting the best for the other while recognizing that variety is a desirable thing (although a lot of people would deny it) and a needed thing in human relationships.
The Tampa Bay area seems to be ground zero for so-called Lifestyles groups (a euphemism for swingers.) With the large nudist resorts in Pasco County added to the mix, no end of media publicity is lost when a new swinger club opens up as was the case when Club Elite-Tampa had their grand opening in Port Richey awhile back.
My wife and I have met our share of Lifestyle/swingers at nudist resorts. For the most part they are nice folks who can separate sex from love, and harbor no jealousy when the other partner is "sport fucking" another person. One big commonality I've noticed; the Lifestyle wife is usually bi-sexual. When threesomes are engaged in, it is invariably girl-girl plus the husband. If a husband is Gay/bi, the code phrase mentioned usually is "husband likes to watch." Being a straight couple, naturally we've not seen all the combinations.
NightMoves II - Tampa's Premier On-Premise Swingers Night Club
Note: Although we've been invited on countless occasions we are not swingers.
Wanted to mention that Club Elite is still in Port Richey- Am surprised it hasnt been shut down( I would think that in the Tampa Bay area where g-strings are outlawed on the beaches that a Lifestyle Club could exist lol) But its still there in a very small strip mall by a major highway. As far as swinging goes, I feel it is quite fine for couples in a strong ,mutually consenting relationship-I have met swingers at local nudist resorts and on occasion have had sex with a wife while the husband observed. Everyone's needs were met and as they say - No Harm. No Foul. One resort has AAHZ parties once a month. They seem to be all over the country. So any swingers may search the web for AAHZ parties and find one happening near your area.
What are AAHZ parties?
I think that as long as they want and agree to do it and do so safely, it is none of my business and not my place to judge. What happens between and among consenting adults should be of no concern of mine.
Speaking from experience, it can greatly heighten an already good and sexually charged relationship.
It can't fix broken one.
It's also healthier if it is considered a part of ones relationship and NOT the raison d'etre. In other words, we only eat out occasionally and fully enjoy it. We usually cook at home. Likewise, we usually fuck each other's brains out, but occasionally indulge ourselves (and others - lol).
Another misconception, often held, is that "swingers" are easy.
Far from it. We are equally as selective of our sexual partners as are non-lifestylers (maybe even more so as, because we have a sexually active relationship already, we're never starved of sex in any case).
We've also found that there are far more "players" than we would have imagined and many more would "play" (even if only as a one-off experience - just to "tick that box") providing the circumstances and comfort/safety levels are right.
For us, it sure beats monogamy and it sure beats cheating or being cuckolded and our trust in each other has been greatly increased because of those two thorns that can plague more traditional relationships.
Most people we know in the lifestyle are very loving towards and protective of their primary partners.
It's also a lot of fun testing our "Playdar" out on people we meet. We're becoming quite good at it, but wish there was a secret handshake or similar, to make life easier. LOL.
To answer the OP's other question "Who does it".
Everyone does it.
Beautiful people. Ugly people. Rich and poor. Black and white. Str8's and Gays.
And everything between.
May as well ask "Who drinks/smokes/takes drugs".
AAHZ is a promotions company that puts on Lifestyles parties. They hold their parties in large hotels around the country or, in the case of Tampa where there is a large first class nudist resort, at the Caliente Resort & Spa.
This is Exclusive Private Party for Lifestyle Members only!
It's not something that's ever interested me or even crossed my mind.
When I have a boyfriend, it's the two of us in bed, not Tom, Dick, and Jessica. I have no desire to kiss anyone else, never mind do other things. And I don't want him doing anything with anyone either.
I like being 100% monogamous.
As far as others people doing it, they are entitled to do whatever they want. I don't know how they can share their lover with others. Some say they are more secure in their relationship. I think they are insecure.
And the chance of getting an STD is not worth getting for having a little extracurricular "fun". Safer sex is not the same thing as safe sex.
Ah! Thanks for the answer. For a moment, I thought Aahz referred to a specific type of sex party instead of a party hosted by a specific organization.