TACT

[jdoe86]

Ok...who knows what the word means? tact (noun): sense of the proper thing to say or do. Ok, we have had some guest here who show the lack of and need to think before they type. We have guests from all over the world here who are interested in the same topic... If you are reading this and feel like we have been attacking you (you know who you are), you need to just "chill" and show some "tact".

 

[13788]

SimplyHung: Example of tact and lack-of-tact.

Someone posts a supposed fact that you think is untrue, but you don't have proof. Just doubts:

Tactful Reply:
"Are you sure about that?"

Lack-of-Tactful Reply:
"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard and so are you!"

 

[Pecker]

Tactful:

"Gee, you're smart enough for two brains!"

Not tactful:

"One of them must be out looking for the other one."


Pecker

(A guy told me, "I'll bet you $10 you're dead!"  I was afraid to take the bet.)

 

[13788]

H8Monga: Did I miss something? Drama?
*plays Y & R's theme*

 

[13788]

gigantikok: No need to bring to mind any instances involving fish or splitting women in two... :

 

[13788]

awellhungboi: Oh, Hapi, we have more drama here than your average evening's programming on Lifetime!

Seriously, though, good job, Geo.  That needed to be said.  

Look, a support group is a nebulous concept in real life, doubly so on the Internet.  But 'support' doesn't mean we all have to agree all the time, and it doesn't mean we all have to like each other either.  Yeah, it'd be nice if we all joined hands and danced around a rainbow, but that aint going to happen.  The honesty and openness that a support group demands pretty much means that disagreements and hurt feelings are going to be the norm.  The way to deal with that is courtesy and civility and basic human decency.  And, yes, tact. (And I would say the vast majority of our posters beautifully understand this.)

Some people are just jerks, though, there's no getting around it, and I, for one, try not to spend my days arguing with trolls on the Internet.  We have a saying in the South, "Don't try to teach a pig to whistle.  It just wastes your time, and annoys the pig."  

 

[Pecker]

If it were possible to sit around with a bunch of guys and discuss these subjects face-to-face, we'd get all kinds of comments ranging from macho blustering to quiet genius, from "you've got to be kidding me" to "I was wondering about that myself."

That's much like our forum here, you say? Not quite.

Face-to-face discussions allow vocal inflections, gesturing and even touching to help us understand when somebody is being serious or when he is just kidding. This forum lacks that advantage.

Since we only have the written word to express ourselves here we have to be more careful how we come across. We have to be tactful many times or we'll be completely misunderstood and, unfortuately, tact is not a talent that many of us have mastered.

Pecker

(The food on the plane was fit for a king! "Here, King!")

 

[13788]

wvalady1968: There's a world of difference between being tactful and deliberately being as rude and offensive as you can. Talk about PMS!!

A support group is a place where you can be honest and even joke around without expecting someone to jump down your throat over something you say.

Monstro, we have a saying here, "Don't get in a pissing contest with a skunk." But that doesn't keep me from shooting a rabid one.

 

[13788]

Dantesco: TACT: I made a big sign reminding myself to respect other peoples feelings, and to make sure I saw the sign frequently I tact it to the wall.

 

[13788]

awellhungboi: Well, Allie, you definitely gave it good to that one rabid skunk, that's for sure! And you wholeheartedly have my support about it.

 

[13788]

robbnks: As a therapist, I see tact as one of those lost social skills that I often try to put back into place for countless individuals. I do think the pendulum is beginning to swing back the other direction because there is a slight observation on my part that people are using tact a bit more than they have in the past.

 

[13788]

jerkin4-10: pecker...kind of 'inclusive' on the mastering tact eh? ;D

 

[13788]

AnonyMs: ..

 

[jdoe86]

I have just one thing to say... ;D

 

[13788]

wvalady1968: [quote author=AnonyMs link=board=meetgreet;num=1062977348;start=0#12 date=09/08/03 at 15:15:14]
I think a lot of people could benefit from learning the difference between assertive behavior and aggressive behavior.  And let's get rid of that whole "being nice" thing and just be authentic with one another.  [/quote]


Well said!! I agree completely!

 

[13788]

7x6andchg: Not to mention ad hominem attacks - people need to realize that attacking someone personally for the views they hold is just not...right. Just hold your tongue :-X or present a valid, thought out argument against the POINT, not against the point-maker.

7x6&C

 

[Pecker]

[quote author=jerkin4-10 link=board=meetgreet;num=1062977348;start=0#11 date=09/08/03 at 15:13:08]pecker...kind of 'inclusive' on the mastering tact eh? ;D[/quote]

Yup, foot-in-mouth disease is a frequent malady of mine, jerkin.

Pecker

(Last night I ordered a whole meal in French! Even the waiter was amazed. It was a Chinese restaurant.)

 

[B_DoubleMeatWhopper]

Okay, I don't have the greatest grip on tact (no shit?! ); guess that's why I'm controversial. I say what I mean and mean what I say, and yeah ... I'm often blunt about it. However, there is a difference between tactless and uncouth; JackedMuscle's attack against one of our valued Ladies' Auxiliary members was decidedly uncouth. That is one label that I hope no one ever thinks I deserve.

 

[13788]

7x6andchg: There's an excellent point, DMW...couth is a different thing entirely and I would say you have plenty of couth...

(sorry I just love the word)

7x6&C

 

[13788]

awellhungboi: You certainly are not uncouth Whopper!  Opinionated? Yes.  Unafraid to speak your mind? Absolutely.  Contentious?  Occasionally.  Classy?  Almost always.  Totally authentic? Without a doubt.  Personally, I like people with strong personalities who can articulate themselves as well as you do.