tactless, too honest people

bravesoldier

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Have you ever done something to your appearance drastically different and really liked it? Something you got lots of compliments on, then comes along someone close to you who hasn't seen you in a while and shoots it to hell?

Recently I made a radical change in hairstyle that I really liked. Total image change for me which I know takes time to adjust to, but ended up really digging it on myself. I went from having a lot of hair to a high and tight military haircut. The point I'm trying to bring to light is about people out there who are incredibly quick to tell you how much they don't like something. Seems most people aren't like that, at least not initially. Some are downright rude. Like the ones out there on your worst day who quickly tell you how bad you look. I'm sure most have encountered one of these types.

Anyone else ever have this experience from a rude, tactless individual? My individual quickly said "it's so unbecoming on you'..

If I'd told him something like that he'd been fighting mad. lol.

Anyway here's a terribly hot guy that took the shaved/military look and to me looks incredibly hot. Radical change but hot..
 

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art

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I never tell friends when I dislike some appearance change they've made. But I'm sure to compliment them when I think they made a change (as I perceive it) for the better.
 

Betty_Cocker

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I was just telling someone the other day about how my aunt was a hairstylist when I was growing up and every new hairstyle she tried out on me! Yes, I was her guinea pig for all new 'do...

Remember the mullet? My "normal" haircut growing up was the Farrah Fawcett cut, but I have had the Twiggy and everything in between. When the mullet came along, my (now) husband had just given me an engagement ring. We were scheduled to have pics made.

My aunt wanted to give me a new style for the pics. (The Mullet) It was awful. You see, I have a very long neck.

Long story short, my husband never said a word. Nothing. (I think he knew I wasn't happy with the cut.) But, once it grew out he told me how much he didn't like it and in a very nice way said something to the effect "If you ever get a "rat" haircut again, we'll stay home until it grows out." LOL (He was very tactful about it.)

But YES, there were others who were not so kind. Unlike you, I did NOT like my new me. I didn't need others telling me how much they hated it too.

Truthfully, it is not anyone's place to tell you what is "unbecoming" of you. That's just plain rude, and now I might have the courage to tell those folks so. Maybe in a super sarcastic "Well, geeeeee, thanks. That was a super nice thing to say." (insert eyerolls here)

Channing Tatum? I can't see anything past his beautiful eyes... so he could wear his hair rainbow colored and I'd think he was beautiful ... (Not knocking rainbow b/c I've seen some women wear it that totally rock it.)
 

titan1968

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This is a good answer. In other words, we shouldn't rub it in when it's a 'bad' change not to hurt our friends' feelings and should compliment them when it's a 'positive' one. Naughty teacher is right, though. Ultimately, it's what we believe that counts.

If there's one thing I've learnt in my interpersonal relations these past few years, it's not what you say, it's how you say it.

I never tell friends when I dislike some appearance change they've made. But I'm sure to compliment them when I think they made a change (as I perceive it) for the better.
 

Betty_Cocker

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I never tell friends when I dislike some appearance change they've made. But I'm sure to compliment them when I think they made a change (as I perceive it) for the better.


This is my husband's philosophy. .. it's a kind way to be. After living with him for mor than 30 yrs tho I can read his silence as well as his spoken words.
 

sdbg

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Bravesoldier, I haven't seen a photo of you, yet I imagine that you are wicked hot. Personally, I love a tight buzz cut on a guy, and I'm sure that it looks awesome on you. Channing looks totally average with the longer hair; he looks stunning with the buzz cut (just my opinion).

The friend who bluntly stated that your new hairstyle is unbecoming merely stated his opinion, not fact. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. The good news is that hair always grows back. If you someday decide that you don't like the buzz cut, you can always let it grow.

I have a friend of almost 30 years who is way too blunt. I'm used to her, so I don't take it offensively. She has floored other people with her comments a number of times, especially when she has been provoked. She will even admit that she has no tact, and that her snippy remarks antagonize people. She says that these people need a dose of truth. L.O.L.! She's funny as long as the sting isn't directed at you. I've commented that when it comes to a work situation, there needs to be some self-control and diplomacy if you want harmony in the workplace. She has softened a little bit with age, but she is still brutally honest.
 

bravesoldier

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SDBG you hit the nail on the head. It's about diplomacy, some people have none and they suffer for it I believe. It's not so much about my haircut which I do happen to really like, it's about the diplomacy issue. Then there's taste. I hate to say others have no taste and won't say that outright, but there are times when something like the buzz cut or anything else that is the rage and looks great on most, comes the individual that will tell you it looks like shit no matter how many compliments you've had. You love them but you realize they're not in touch with it, whatever it is that really looks great. Some people are out of touch with such things.

As for Channing Tatum or any other guy that hot, in my opinion they don't need hair to distract from their beautiful facial features. The lack of hair accentuates their hotness. Then again, to me at least, military haircuts are classic and always will be. They look great on most all men.

Thanks for the responses.
 
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BarefootGuy

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Bravesoldier, just remind yourself if you like the look on you, then that is what matters. People can be too blunt or bold in expressing their opinions, but these are their opinions and nothing more. It sounds like you have received a lot of compliments and run with that!

If you want to share photos of the two hairstyles, I will be happy to give you an honest opinion! LOL!

Enjoy your new look!
 
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deleted871301

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I never tell friends when I dislike some appearance change they've made. But I'm sure to compliment them when I think they made a change (as I perceive it) for the better.

This is me as well... However... when my sister asks my opinion of something and my response is, "that's different", she knows I don't like it!
 

Scot2006

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I never comment on people looking bad as I don't like being told myself. What I do open my mouth to, however, is when people wear beige. It flabbergasts me. I just cannot fathom why anybody would ever want to do such a thing. Why would anyone want to wear clothes that have the colour of pus? I had a mega row with my brother recently when he turned up in the pub wearing a crumpled up beige woollen pullover. Especially as he knows how much beige gets to me. Otherwise, anything goes :)
 
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