Takers or givers?

[rob_just_rob]

The problem inherent in all "takers vs givers" arguments is that different people have different ideas of what "giving" is. And when one person feels they are giving more than they are getting, the trouble starts. Meanwhile the other person may think things are still balanced, or that he or she is actually on the short end of the stick.

What do people bring to the table or put into a relationship? Love, time, fun, attention, sex, money, looks, concern, planning, and work, among other things - hopefully in equal proportions. But if one party puts in much more than the other in one of these categories, the other party had better even things out in another category or categories.

In a lot of ways, I'm a giving person. I get more selfish when I feel like I'm not getting anything back. Usually at that point the relationship spirals down and out.

 

[Jovial]

It's better to give than receive. Especially advice. - Mark Twain

 

[Wyldgusechaz]

I love this place. Its a frickin alternate universe!!!

Step off. Guy-jin is mine, dammit!



What about men who do this? Is it the same? My husband has supported me for 7 years through college, having a child, having a serious illness, a career that costs more than it pays most of the time... In all ways, I've been weak, I've been a leech, and I've been a drain on his resources. And yet, I get the feeling WGC would see this as different than hotmilf's situation.

You don't see this as different? Are you kidding me? You are that stupid!!!??? I assume (although here in bizarro world maybe I shouldn't) that your husband has pledged his commitment to you. You have a legal bond. You bore his child. You put in the commitment to finish college and get a degree. As a bonded couple you stand by each other in illness. If he does the laundry, cooks the meals, and diapers the baby while you eat bonbons then maybe you have a point. Is that your life? Maybe you are a leech.



Would you say this if it were a woman doing this?
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NJQT, this is your experience, and it's not a universal one. A lot of times these arrangements work out well. Your man may not have been using you-- maybe your relationship just wasn't working and he left. There are no guarantees and contracts in relationships like this-- it's a risk. Don't also forget that you got something out of the relationship as well because you stayed in it.

Yes it is and no you are wrong. I have for the past 25 years employed between 10-30 women at any one time and I have heard their stories. Scores, maybe hundreds of stories. I know that less than 5 of them turned out well for the woman. There is no way you have the intimate experience I have in understanding what happens in these sorts of arrangements.

I think it's up to hotmilf to decide what's really going on here, and if what she's doing is worth the grief and aggravation.

I agree

And WGC-- just because you make a little bit of money doesn't mean you're automatically entitled to the best, most attractive women. It doesn't mean you should have the pick of the litter, and it seems like this is what you're getting at in this thread and others. You seem to be a little bitter that a woman like hotmilf doesn't automatically pick a man like you.

Actually if sort of does but not just for me. Specifically for me I am not interested in dating HotMilf. I hate to get personal but she opened with the OP. She's cute and nice, but I will be blunt I would never date a woman with that low of self esteem.
And I am entitled to date the hottest, most attractive women there are. I am attractive, responsible, caring and affluent. I only date very attractive successful women because I can. Why lie about it? And why apologize for it? I work hard, I get things done, my life is well organized, I have a lot of free time and disposable cash, I SHOULD fuck the hottest women. I do not have to settle. I know I can come across on the net as a complete arrogant prick, but in real life, the only place that counts, people know they can count on me, they can trust me, and I consider friendship and honoring commitment to be paramount in leading a honorable life. What woman wouldn't want to be with that?

 

[viking1]

And WGC-- just because you make a little bit of money doesn't mean you're automatically entitled to the best, most attractive women. It doesn't mean you should have the pick of the litter, and it seems like this is what you're getting at in this thread and others. You seem to be a little bitter that a woman like hotmilf doesn't automatically pick a man like you.

Those with big money are always above it all. What would you expect?

 

[snoozan]

Look, I'll start agreeing with you more if you learn how to use the quote function. I didn't even see 90% of your response at first! :biggrin1:

I love this place. Its a frickin alternate universe!!!

You don't see this as different? Are you kidding me? You are that stupid!!!??? I assume (although here in bizarro world maybe I shouldn't) that your husband has pledged his commitment to you. You have a legal bond. You bore his child. You put in the commitment to finish college and get a degree. As a bonded couple you stand by each other in illness. If he does the laundry, cooks the meals, and diapers the baby while you eat bonbons then maybe you have a point. Is that your life? Maybe you are a leech.

Actually I don't think I'm all that stupid, but who knows, some days I feel pretty dumb. Honestly, this is a topic that comes up a lot in my marriage because my husband thinks a lot like you do. He has no qualms about putting me through school, letting me stay at home with our son, attempting to have a career in a field that will probably never net me more than a decent living wage, and living a life that I can cope with in a sane manner. I do bear the burden of the childcare, though he steps up after working a 16 hour day to help me. He helps me cook, clean, run errands, etc., but his main job is bringing in an income that can support a family of three. Honestly, sometimes I feel like I should do more since he does so much, but he doesn't feel that way. The part that I wonder about is what would you (and he, and other people) think if the roles were reversed? What if I went to work all day and he stayed at home doing some nebulous job like writing and played with the kid? I know he would feel inadequate because he was raised to be a tradition man-provider, and I also know that we would get a lot of shit from others because of our arrangement. I have family members where the wife is the main breadwinner and it's simply not as accepted as an arrangement like mine.

I'm playing devil's advocate a little here, but I don't necessarily see where hotmilf's arrangement has to be all that different from the one I'm in except that the roles are reversed. I see where you're saying it isn't the same, but we don't know enough to say how different it is.

Yes it is and no you are wrong. I have for the past 25 years employed between 10-30 women at any one time and I have heard their stories. Scores, maybe hundreds of stories. I know that less than 5 of them turned out well for the woman. There is no way you have the intimate experience I have in understanding what happens in these sorts of arrangements.

I buy that as your experience and I won't argue with it. What, I wonder, is the reason why these sorts of arrangements seem to work out better if the male is doing the breadwinning and the female is going to school, starting a career, or otherwise doing something that isn't bringing in money to the relationship? For a very long time that was the norm, and even now it's more acceptable and from what I see the relationships seem to work out better and there's less stigma attached to it.

And I am entitled to date the hottest, most attractive women there are. I am attractive, responsible, caring and affluent.

But that's my point. You're not entitled to it. Sure, that's your preference and that's where you set your standards, but you're simply not entitled to date the best women (as you see them) just because of your money, your body, your net worth, whatever. Believe it or not, there are a lot of (very hot, very successful)women wouldn't be impressed by you and aren't compelled to date you because of your social/monetary status. There's no entitlement like what you're stating in personal relationships.

I only date very attractive successful women because I can. Why lie about it? And why apologize for it? I work hard, I get things done, my life is well organized, I have a lot of free time and disposable cash, I SHOULD fuck the hottest women. I do not have to settle.

Again, that's your choice and hopefully you'll find happiness that way. Yes, if you can fuck the hottest women and that's what you want, have at it. As far as should, well, I don't know. That's up to the hot women-- again, you're not entitled to it. They may or may not see your attitude as being shitty. You also may end up with a women who are only interested in your money and how much of it they can get. There are a lot of unhappy relationships based on looks and money out there-- I see them all the time in my line of work.

We could also get into the definition of successful-- because by all accounts I am not successful (yet) because I've shelved my life for the next 5+ years at least to raise a child. If that makes me, in you or anyone else's eyes less successful than a woman making a lot of money by working, I'm not interested. My point is that success can be measured by other standards than salary.

No, you don't have to settle, I agree with that. You have every right to wait until the end of time to find perfect woman if that's your goal. You can date whomever you want and that's your right. However, that doesn't entitle you to the women who meet your standards. They may not like you.

I know I can come across on the net as a complete arrogant prick, but in real life, the only place that counts, people know they can count on me, they can trust me, and I consider friendship and honoring commitment to be paramount in leading a honorable life. What woman wouldn't want to be with that?

Well, yes, you do come off as a complete arrogant prick, but I come off as a complete insane bitch so it's okay as far as I'm concerned. I don't hold anything against you. I personally love being married to someone who is everything you've just described-- dependable, trustworthy, committed, honorable, and successful. I realize I'm very lucky. If that's how you are in real life, that's wonderful, and I hope your personal relationships reflect your personality.

 

[Wyldgusechaz]

Look, I'll start agreeing with you more if you learn how to use the quote function. I didn't even see 90% of your response at first! :biggrin1:

I love this place. Its a frickin alternate universe!!!



[/I]Actually I don't think I'm all that stupid, but who knows, some days I feel pretty dumb. Honestly, this is a topic that comes up a lot in my marriage because my husband thinks a lot like you do. He has no qualms about putting me through school, letting me stay at home with our son, attempting to have a career in a field that will probably never net me more than a decent living wage, and living a life that I can cope with in a sane manner. I do bear the burden of the childcare, though he steps up after working a 16 hour day to help me. He helps me cook, clean, run errands, etc., but his main job is bringing in an income that can support a family of three. Honestly, sometimes I feel like I should do more since he does so much, but he doesn't feel that way. The part that I wonder about is what would you (and he, and other people) think if the roles were reversed? What if I went to work all day and he stayed at home doing some nebulous job like writing and played with the kid? I know he would feel inadequate because he was raised to be a tradition man-provider, and I also know that we would get a lot of shit from others because of our arrangement. I have family members where the wife is the main breadwinner and it's simply not as accepted as an arrangement like mine.

I'm playing devil's advocate a little here, but I don't necessarily see where hotmilf's arrangement has to be all that different from the one I'm in except that the roles are reversed. I see where you're saying it isn't the same, but we don't know enough to say how different it is.


[/I]
I buy that as your experience and I won't argue with it. What, I wonder, is the reason why these sorts of arrangements seem to work out better if the male is doing the breadwinning and the female is going to school, starting a career, or otherwise doing something that isn't bringing in money to the relationship? For a very long time that was the norm, and even now it's more acceptable and from what I see the relationships seem to work out better and there's less stigma attached to it.
But that's my point. You're not entitled to it. Sure, that's your preference and that's where you set your standards, but you're simply not entitled to date the best women (as you see them) just because of your money, your body, your net worth, whatever. Believe it or not, there are a lot of (very hot, very successful)women wouldn't be impressed by you and aren't compelled to date you because of your social/monetary status. There's no entitlement like what you're stating in personal relationships. Again, that's your choice and hopefully you'll find happiness that way. Yes, if you can fuck the hottest women and that's what you want, have at it. As far as should, well, I don't know. That's up to the hot women-- again, you're not entitled to it. They may or may not see your attitude as being shitty. You also may end up with a women who are only interested in your money and how much of it they can get. There are a lot of unhappy relationships based on looks and money out there-- I see them all the time in my line of work.

We could also get into the definition of successful-- because by all accounts I am not successful (yet) because I've shelved my life for the next 5+ years at least to raise a child. If that makes me, in you or anyone else's eyes less successful than a woman making a lot of money by working, I'm not interested. My point is that success can be measured by other standards than salary.

No, you don't have to settle, I agree with that. You have every right to wait until the end of time to find perfect woman if that's your goal. You can date whomever you want and that's your right. However, that doesn't entitle you to the women who meet your standards. They may not like you.
Well, yes, you do come off as a complete arrogant prick, but I come off as a complete insane bitch so it's okay as far as I'm concerned. I don't hold anything against you. I personally love being married to someone who is everything you've just described-- dependable, trustworthy, committed, honorable, and successful. I realize I'm very lucky. If that's how you are in real life, that's wonderful, and I hope your personal relationships reflect your personality.

Thank you for the reply. It s an interesting conundrum here on LPSG. Members are exalted or praised for their *members* or breasts, things that they simply got by a lucky genetic draw (or in the case of boobs had bolted on as add on equipment.) they did nothing to earn them. However, someone like me who has some money, something I totally earned by taking risks and working hard is looked down on. It did not fall into to my lap like a big dick, I worked for it. Why the snide cracks and the jealousy? Weird.

Raising a child is IMO the noblest work of all. And the hardest. I commend you. How do I measure success? Certainly not by money. Money is a measure of one kind of achievement, but not success. I do not confuse the 2.

 

[Not_Punny]

Thanks to everyone who posted in this thread, including MB, Monstro, Snoozie, NJQT, HickBoy, WGC, Guy-jin, Viking, Jovial, Rob-just-rob, No Strings, HungDavid, Naughty, XOS23wy, Rugbypup, Love-it, Theo8, SP, Bliss, BHR, Lee_M and Lafever.

I cannot tell you how much I appreciate the different points of view. Sometimes, when we are stuck in a situation, our eyes are often closed.

I truly found value in every single posting, and I am honored that everyone shared their wisdom with me.

I am humbled in fact.

So, again, thank you all.

 

[Principessa]

She supports him for 7 years, , she doesn't feel valued, she gives him money, he likes seeing her get fucked by other men!!?? You don't see the dysfunction in this? I do it was like a great big flashing neon sign. It said, "Get Out Now!" All the time dealing with 3 teenagers a monumental task at best and holding a steady job while he finds himself. I know in my heart she pays his child support or he is in fact a dead beat dad. This is so unhealthy I can't even fathom it. Agreed.

What planet are you on?

Yeah? - well where are they all getting it from then?

There is an old saying, "If you want something done, give it to a busy person to do."

Thank you NJ. I come here once in awhile to browse but I am always stunned at how little street sense anyone has here. Bizarro world. By a long shot you are the clearest thinker of all. Not one aspect of HM's guy's story rings true, but no one but you can see it.

Thank you Wyldgusechaz, I appreciate that. :smile: Though I like to think I have common sense; I have never been streetwise.

As for me being the only one to see clearly. That's because I am the only one who has been in almost the same spot Hotmilf is in right now. Fortunately my ex-bf never asked me to have sex with another man. Though maybe I should say unfortunately, because if he had I would have run screaming for the hills. Hindsight is always 20/20.

Bad behavior rarely fixes itself by itself. There are individuals who are takers and you are not going to change them. Run past go , do not collect 200.00. You can do bad all by yourself. You do not need to have anyone ride your back to the promised land. Last time I checked you were not a mule.

AMEN sister! This scenario has bad written all over it. The only thing missing is Melissa Gilbert to play Hotmilf in the Lifetime movie of the week. :frown1:

Simple. Those who consume more than they produce will always find a victim. There are relatively few consumers, and the producers tend to produce more than they need. Sooo...

So you agree. Hotmilf's guy is a greedy, life draining predator and she is the naive, good hearted victim. :frown1:

Hmmm, I think I prefer you with your mouth shut and your clothes off. :tongue:

As do I. :wink:

Step off. Guy-jin is mine, dammit!

Come now Snoozan, haven't you seen his pics? There is definetely enough of him to share.:wink::biggrin1:

What about men who do this? Is it the same? My husband has supported me for 7 years through college, having a child, having a serious illness, a career that costs more than it pays most of the time... In all ways, I've been weak, I've been a leech, and I've been a drain on his resources. And yet, I get the feeling WGC would see this as different than hotmilf's situation. It is totally different because he is your husband. You have both made an equal commitment to love and support each other no matter what.


Would you say this if it were a woman doing this? I just said it see above.


NJQT, this is your experience, and it's not a universal one. Actually it's pretty common, just ask a divorce lawyer in an affluent area. A lot of times these arrangements work out well. Your man may not have been using you-- maybe your relationship just wasn't working and he left. Pfftt! We shall have to chat about this one day, he still practices in Bucks County. There are no guarantees and contracts in relationships like this-- it's a risk. Don't also forget that you got something out of the relationship as well because you stayed in it. Yippee! I got to say I was dating a dentist. Yeah that was a fair trade... NOT! My best childbearing years in exchange for some alleged social status and mediocre sex with a papist. :02::cussing2::irked::12:

I think it's up to hotmilf to decide what's really going on here, and if what she's doing is worth the grief and aggravation. Agreed, but the fact she asked the question means she knows it is wrong. Remember doubt means don't.

And WGC-- just because you make a little bit of money doesn't mean you're automatically entitled to the best, most attractive women. It doesn't mean you should have the pick of the litter, and it seems like this is what you're getting at in this thread and others. Doesn't it though? I mean I am clearly not in his league; but come on, look at him. Why should he settle for some uneducated, plain jane Wal-Mart Cashier? You seem to be a little bitter that a woman like hotmilf doesn't automatically pick a man like you.

No, I think perhaps he is in a similar boat as me in some aspects. He just can't find anybody of the opposite sex who is suitable for more than just sex.

I love this place. Its a frickin alternate universe!!!

It's Penis World!! :biggrin1:

And I am entitled to date the hottest, most attractive women there are. I am attractive, responsible, caring and affluent. I only date very attractive successful women because I can. Why lie about it? And why apologize for it? I work hard, I get things done, my life is well organized, I have a lot of free time and disposable cash, I SHOULD fuck the hottest women. I do not have to settle. I know I can come across on the net as a complete arrogant prick, but in real life, the only place that counts, people know they can count on me, they can trust me, and I consider friendship and honoring commitment to be paramount in leading a honorable life. What woman wouldn't want to be with that?[/quote]
mfg: I am the female version of Wyldgusechaz! :aargh4::biggrin1:
I have to admit that since going out on disability 18 months ago affluent is not an accurate description of my bank account; but I am still the same well bred and educated woman I was before. I still bring a lot to the table. I just have trouble finding men who are my equal.

 

[Wyldgusechaz]

There is an old saying, "If you want something done, give it to a busy person to do."

Thank you Wyldgusechaz, I appreciate that. :smile: Though I like to think I have common sense; I have never been streetwise.

As for me being the only one to see clearly. That's because I am the only one who has been in almost the same spot Hotmilf is in right now. Fortunately my ex-bf never asked me to have sex with another man. Though maybe I should say unfortunately, because if he had I would have run screaming for the hills. Hindsight is always 20/20.


AMEN sister! This scenario has bad written all over it. The only thing missing is Melissa Gilbert to play Hotmilf in the Lifetime movie of the week. :frown1:

So you agree. Hotmilf's guy is a greedy, life draining predator and she is the naive, good hearted victim. :frown1:

As do I. :wink:

No, I think perhaps he is in a similar boat as me in some aspects. He just can't find anybody of the opposite sex who is suitable for more than just sex.

It's Penis World!! :biggrin1:

And I am entitled to date the hottest, most attractive women there are. I am attractive, responsible, caring and affluent. I only date very attractive successful women because I can. Why lie about it? And why apologize for it? I work hard, I get things done, my life is well organized, I have a lot of free time and disposable cash, I SHOULD fuck the hottest women. I do not have to settle. I know I can come across on the net as a complete arrogant prick, but in real life, the only place that counts, people know they can count on me, they can trust me, and I consider friendship and honoring commitment to be paramount in leading a honorable life. What woman wouldn't want to be with that?

mfg: I am the female version of Wyldgusechaz! :aargh4::biggrin1:
I have to admit that since going out on disability 18 months ago affluent is not an accurate description of my bank account; but I am still the same well bred and educated woman I was before. I still bring a lot to the table. I just have trouble finding men who are my equal.[/QUOTE]

We are more alike than you can imagine, NJ. I have menieres disease and the meds I take for it have made me really cranky now. Plus hell on the libido.

Thank you for the compliments too. It is truly appreciated. If I lived closer I would take you to the Art Museum, then a Falcons game 50 yard line or better Georgia Bulldogs, then dinner at a steak house and a night of old school funk Ohio Players, earth wind fire, you name it. Some where in that day I suspect we would end up fucking each others silly, :tongue:

 

[Principessa]

[/size][/color][/font]
mfg: I am the female version of Wyldgusechaz! :aargh4::biggrin1:
I have to admit that since going out on disability 18 months ago affluent is not an accurate description of my bank account; but I am still the same well bred and educated woman I was before. I still bring a lot to the table. I just have trouble finding men who are my equal.

We are more alike than you can imagine, NJ. I have menieres disease and the meds I take for it have made me really cranky now. Plus hell on the libido. Ugh,:frown1: Meniere's! I empathize completely as that is why they made me stop working. I don't take anything for mine I try to control it with diet. Which would explain my libidois often in overdrive. :smile::wink:

Thank you for the compliments too. It is truly appreciated. If I lived closer I would take you to the Art Museum, then a Falcons game 50 yard line or better Georgia Bulldogs, then dinner at a steak house and a night of old school funk Ohio Players, earth wind fire, you name it. Some where in that day I suspect we would end up fucking each others silly, :tongue:[/quote]
njqt466 checks her journal and it is hiding exactly where she left it. How the heck did he know what my ideal date would be? I'm almost positive I never posted that here or anywhere for that matter.

 

[Wyldgusechaz]

We are more alike than you can imagine, NJ. I have menieres disease and the meds I take for it have made me really cranky now. Plus hell on the libido. Ugh,:frown1: Meniere's! I empathize completely as that is why they made me stop working. I don't take anything for mine I try to control it with diet. Which would explain my libidois often in overdrive. :smile::wink:

Thank you for the compliments too. It is truly appreciated. If I lived closer I would take you to the Art Museum, then a Falcons game 50 yard line or better Georgia Bulldogs, then dinner at a steak house and a night of old school funk Ohio Players, earth wind fire, you name it. Some where in that day I suspect we would end up fucking each others silly, :tongue:

njqt466 checks her journal and it is hiding exactly where she left it. How the heck did he know what my ideal date would be? I'm almost positive I never posted that here or anywhere for that matter. [/QUOTE]

Even tho I am an arrogant online prick, I do pay attention to the little things you women say. I just put some things together that I thought you might like. I am one of those dorky intelligent guys that listens closely to what you ladies have to say.

 

[Principessa]

Even tho I am an arrogant online prick, I do pay attention to the little things you women say. I just put some things together that I thought you might like. I am one of those dorky intelligent guys that listens closely to what you ladies have to say.

:smile: Dorky, intelligent guys are my weakness. :wink: :flirt:

 

[Guy-jin]

Come now Snoozan, haven't you seen his pics? There is definetely enough of him to share.:wink::biggrin1:

I knew my ears were burning for a reason today. :tongue: Fortunately, with as much rain as we got today, I had something to cool them off!

Hotmilf... your inbox is full. :hump:

 

[TheRob]

Are some people just takers?

Within the last 24 hours, I "gave" the following to the same person...

-- sex
-- a rescue when his car ran out of gas on the freeway on-ramp
-- money to buy gas
-- a couple of hours of work on his web site
-- forgiveness for standing me up on a date (he was busy taking phone calls)
-- a cooked supper because it was too late to go out
-- a couple of beers

But then we had a fight about what I interpreted to be a sexist remark about movie stars. (Some things really push my buttons)

I tried to change my mood. I tried to avert the fight, albeit I didn't do a very good job of this. And I can get "unreasonably" riled about some things.

But the minute he didn't like my "mood", he was out the door.

Is that right?

Am I unreasonable in thinking that I was due some slack?

Or should women just shut up and be nice all the time?

with your body you could be a stone cold bitch and I wouldn't be out the door unless you asked me to go....
onthe other hand if you felt there is no reasoning with you when youare in that mood would you rather he leave or stay there and fight with you
you yourself said you tried to avert the fight but couldn't so he did it for you
not inthe best way because you dont want someone important to you to not finish an argument but at the same time you dont wanna fight with someonethat close toyour heart right
kind of screwed either way

anyway I have a relationship that is similar with the arguments
I mean I can FEEL an argument with this chick coming and there is nothing either of us can do about it
I thinkit means love lol
the thing is even if it is a sexist comment aboutmovie stars it's nto that bad is it
for someone you love?

 

[TheRob]

Thanks MB. I needed that. And that's an interesting viewpoint that he might be feeling a bit guilty.

We kissed and made up yesterday -- yeah, so much for the "no more men" thread. Maybe I should have stuck to it.

And yes, he always walks out on a disagreement. It drives me crazy because I feel so rejected. And so afraid that I truly am an unreasonable child. I feel like I have to go on Prozac or something so I have no downs. Just ups.

you have a right to have downs
but maybe he knows that when he fights with you he says things that hurt your feelings and prefers not to do it?

 

[Axcess]

Thanks to everyone who posted in this thread, including MB, Monstro, Snoozie, NJQT, HickBoy, WGC, Guy-jin, Viking, Jovial, Rob-just-rob, No Strings, HungDavid, Naughty, XOS23wy, Rugbypup, Love-it, Theo8, SP, Bliss, BHR, Lee_M and Lafever.

I cannot tell you how much I appreciate the different points of view. Sometimes, when we are stuck in a situation, our eyes are often closed.

I truly found value in every single posting, and I am honored that everyone shared their wisdom with me.

I am humbled in fact.

So, again, thank you all.

Oh , Thanks :smile::smile: but I don't really comment of your thread specific topic for 2 reasons: 1) I'm not the best person to analize relationships.
My latest relationships were a disasters and wasn't clear to me who really got the blame , Me or her? or both? And second I don't know enough details of what went wrong in your relationship but it better be that way because your private life is only your business. I have follow this thread often is very interesting.:smile::smile:

 

[lafever]

Thanks to everyone who posted in this thread, including MB, Monstro, Snoozie, NJQT, HickBoy, WGC, Guy-jin, Viking, Jovial, Rob-just-rob, No Strings, HungDavid, Naughty, XOS23wy, Rugbypup, Love-it, Theo8, SP, Bliss, BHR, Lee_M and Lafever.

I cannot tell you how much I appreciate the different points of view. Sometimes, when we are stuck in a situation, our eyes are often closed.

I truly found value in every single posting, and I am honored that everyone shared their wisdom with me.

I am humbled in fact.

So, again, thank you all.

You deserve the best so maybe this will help you:
It`s been my experience that if there`s no chemistry between myself and another person than chances are they have ulterior motives for wanting to continue.
If i don`t feel the majic then it`s time to move on.
Good luck, if you`re serious about finding the one start looking for the one, you`ll know it when it happens, just make sure it`s more than just lust.
The best way to find that out(if it`s just lust)is to hold out on the sex, and when you do give in to him see if he still does all those things to you that he did in the beginning of the relationship.
If he stops being the romantic he was at the start then you got played, get rid of him asap because it was all a game to begin with and chances are if you keep him around it`s so he can play the field and still come home to some desert.

lafever