taking it - warning - gay.

[D_Harry_Crax]

Also sometimes the fun is in the idea of being kind of violated and/or submitting yourself to someone rather than the whole act getting plowed so this whole thing also has an intellectual/emotional side to it as well.

This point is not be easily overlooked. The only time in my life when I was bottoming regularly (about 15 years ago) was with one partner, and I wanted/needed it from him for psychological reasons. It never was physically pleasurable.

 

[Roark1976]

thanks, guys. i'll add all of this into the mix.

 

[justacynic]

If you're not "oriented" to be a bottom, it takes time. That said, the absolute best times I've ever had being fucked have usually been with me on my hands and knees in a sixty-nine position sucking on a nice tool while a third (and experienced -- "experienced" is important the key) person slowly pounds me doggy-style. Alternatively, kneel in front of the mattress or a couch, wherever you find the most comfortable bent over (and supported) position. Then you can focus on relaxing.

And the best advice? You should buy a set of butt plugs (usually three to a pack: small, medium, and not so large). Practice on yourself with lots of lube while jacking off. Eventually your sphincter won't be so timid and you'll learn how to open up and trust your partner.

Although messier than KY-type lubes, silicon-based will offer you the longest lasting and most lube for you're Euro or Buck. And they are condom friendly.

Good luck, and remember: most great bottoms are the most virile, masculine men around. :smile:

This reminds me that a long time female friend who experimented with anal got a set of butt plugs. I think she even would just put it in there and leave it for the day! Seemed weird to me but that would definitely get your ass into accomidating shape! lol

 

[erratic]

Position is also another key issue. I find the positions that most tops really like to start in are the very positions that seem to amount to the most pain for a bottom. The least painful position I discovered was on my side actually with my bottom leg extended and the top leg bent at the knee. The top is usually on his knees and can get in between the legs. not necessarily a position for an entire evening but as a starter position it is a lot better than missionary, doggie-style or even bottom on top positions.

This is a very good point, OP. Starting off in missionary, doggy, flying-goat-clasping-a-mongoose, or whatever other style you like as a top may not be the best starting position for someone who doesn't bottom that easily.

Also, lube cannot be overemphasized, but people often assume that slathering it on once is all you need. Try having your top lube up, start putting it in, pull out, lube up some more, put it in a bit more, pull out, lube up some more, and so on. Nice and slow. Also, the more times you do it the less weird your body will think it is that something is going in rather than out. Think about it: Up until now, for your whole life, when you feel something big passing through your rear it's been something much less fun than a cock. Think Pavlov. Your brain is heavily conditioned to think something else is going on, so a whole different set of bodily changes happens than what you might be looking for. In time your brain will learn that your rear has multiple uses and it can't just barge in to the same reaction every time.

 

[RalDudeHangin]

As someone who is fairly new to btm, I wanted to reiterate the points that ring true for me...

Position is important! To get started, I prefer the top on his back and me kneeling over him. You can control the penetration on your own much better. After full penetration, most other positions seem to be OK as long as we ease into them first.

Lube! Lots of it! If it's not running down your crack and all over the top's balls, you're not using enough. :biggrin1: Seriously . . . have a towel or two handy.

I also agree that some people have a natural disposition to be a btm. I'm not one of them. So far, I haven't had any outright pleasurable sensations from bottom. I can get past the physical discomfort but I've found that the whole submission thing is more of a turn on for me. Jerking off while being fucked or afterwards has produced some awe inspiring orgasms and cum shots.

 

[Roark1976]

flying goat clasping a mongoose.
that's hilarious. i'll have to look that one up.

 

[Mastur]

...helping a man at his most turned on and viral get off.

What's a Freudian slip, again...? lol

 

[Lex]

My partner and I always start out by sitting on whoever is topping for that session.

...
Also, lube cannot be overemphasized, but people often assume that slathering it on once is all you need. Try having your top lube up, start putting it in, pull out, lube up some more, put it in a bit more, pull out, lube up some more, and so on. Nice and slow. ....

I agree with this and I will add that you should also use a finger or two and lube yourself up and loosen yourself a bit before you let entry be attempted.

 

[Luvshairymen]

being a vers bottom I 'feel your pain' <pun intended> I find that if I 'sit on it' to start it eases up the 'backside' and leaves ME in 'control' of how much, how fast, how deep and how hard. I also find that if I take a long hot 'soak' in a tub or shower and play with a small toy before hand I am able to 'get into it' faster. And last but not least - BREATH!! Control your breathing as you 'accept him'. Find your own breathing technique - breath in on the 'up take' or vice-versa - but once you become more at ease with it - ENJOY IT, it is a wonderful feeling and being vers. is the best of both worlds.

 

[B_deltaboy767]

this is less of a big dick question and more a dick question in general. i've been a top for the past 20 years, but have recently wanted to get into the flip side of the equation.

everyone says that it hurts at first, but then you get the pleasure. unfortunately all i've gotten so far is the pain. and we're not talking about huge guys.

any advice?

My advice to you, if you have been top for 20+ years, STAY that way, there are WAY to many bottoms in this american gay community, and not enough tops to go around, every queer i know is a damn sissy fag bottom, i have to get toped by married men, and that is ashame....
So please stay a top, your kind are a rare breed....

 

[Uslidenme]

Hmmm I love getting fucked if the guys dick is reasonably thick and long. Short and thin dicks are painful to me.

Ok heres what you do. Go buy a dildo that you can fill with hot water. Take your time and use what ever lub you like. Unmedicated shaving cream is nice.
I would rather have my ass eaten then have my cock sucked(dont' like bite marks).
Also graduated dildos help you move up in size.

Be sure that you are enema clean before you try bottoming. Its unpleasant for most people if you are not clean and it will embarrass you and you won't be interested in going forward.

Heres the biggest thing. Assuming you are clean when you are being penetrated you have to push out like your are taking a dump. That may be counter intuitive but thats what makes your ring open up. Having something banging against your ring is very painful and no fun at all but if you can get your ring to open up then the incoming member has a chance to hit your prostate and that is what can make you cum without touching yourself.

 

[AGH1976]

Being a passive guy I find it easier to take a big cock is to use a lubed finger on my ass hole moving in a circular motion untill your hole is relaxed and open to make this even better is to let your partner do it. When reading sit on on it so you are in control and you can take it at your own pace i also find poppers (amyl nitrate) work well but may make you go soft if your top. If you’re into chem sex that works well as well.

 

[scottredleter]

While I'm straight, I have explored this part of my body since I learned that the male equivelant (however you spell that) of the G-spot is in there. I also have fantasized about it in terms of 'this must be something like how a woman feels when I do it to her.' Anyway, based on my personal subjective experience:
Start with one finger. Use it on a semi-regular basis. Usually either the pointer or middle finger can go deepest. When this becomes fairly effortless, try introducing a second finger, even if only to get it in there and hold still until you relax.I would think that by the time you work up to three fingers, you'll be ready for a guy. (no experience to help confirm that theory though). I can say this worked out for at least one woman I knew though. ;-)
Also, I recommend doing an enema if haven't before. It's not something to overdue, of course, but you feel so squeaky clean and smooth on the inside. And then you don't have to worry about bumping into 'things'.

GL

I put you at the top of the list of enlightened straight men! I knew it was only a matter of time before straight guys started to learn how sensitive and pleasurable their own holes are. Has nothing to do with orientation... just those numerous, sensitive little nerve ending in there!
Great advise...

 

[maxcok]

Thread title: "taking it - warning - gay."


Why is there a "gay warning" on the thread?

Not to mention as evidenced by enlightened straight men here,
you don't have to be gay to like things up the chute.

Or even a man for that matter.

Not that that's relevant to posting a "warning".

"Not that there's anything wrong with that" ;-)