Talk About an Old Joke...

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by jason_els, Aug 5, 2008.

  1. jason_els

    jason_els <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    While humor may be ageless, it seems what we find hilarious isn't. Herewith are the ten oldest jokes to have survived through history and they're older than you think. I have to say, I only found one, number 8, laugh worthy, but perhaps some of these are truly, you-had-to-be-a-subject-of-that-despot to get them. Highlight the jokes to see their ages and their attributions:

    10. Asked by the court barber how he wanted his hair cut, the king replied: "In silence." (Collected in the Philogelos or "Laughter-Lover" the oldest extant jest book and compiled in the 4th/5th Century AD)

    9. Wishing to teach his donkey not to eat, a pedant did not offer him any food. When the donkey died of hunger, he said "I've had a great loss. Just when he had learned not to eat, he died." (Dated to the Philogelos 4th /5th Century AD)

    8. Augustus was touring his Empire and noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself. Intrigued he asked: "Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?" "No your Highness," he replied, "but my father was." (Credited to the Emporer Augustus 63 BC &#8211; 29 AD)

    7. Man is even more eager to copulate than a donkey - his purse is what restrains him (Egyptian, Ptolemaic Period 304 BC &#8211; 30 BC)
    6. Question: What animal walks on four feet in the morning, two at noon and three at evening? Answer: Man. He goes on all fours as a baby, on two feet as a man and uses a cane in old age (Appears in Oedipus Tyrannus and first performed in 429 BC)

    5. Odysseus tells the Cyclops that his real name is nobody. When Odysseus instructs his men to attack the Cyclops, the Cyclops shouts: "Help, nobody is attacking me!" No one comes to help. (Homer. The Odyssey 800 BC)

    4. A woman who was blind in one eye has been married to a man for 20 years. When he found another woman he said to her, "I shall divorce you because you are said to be blind in one eye." And she answered him: "Have you just discovered that after 20 years of marriage!?" (Egyptian circa 1100 BC)

    3. Three ox drivers from Adab were thirsty: one owned the ox, the other owned the cow and the other owned the wagon's load. The owner of the ox refused to get water because he feared his ox would be eaten by a lion; the owner of the cow refused because he thought his cow might wander off into the desert; the owner of the wagon refused because he feared his load would be stolen. So they all went. In their absence the ox made love to the cow which gave birth to a calf which ate the wagon's load. Problem: Who owns the calf?! (1200 BC)

    2. How do you entertain a bored pharaoh? You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go catch a fish (An abridged version first found in 1600 BC on the Westcar Papryus)

    1. Something which has never occurred since time immemorial: a young woman did not fart in her husband's lap (1900 BC &#8211; 1600 BC Sumerian Proverb Collection 1.12-1.13)

    Did you find any of these funny?
     
  2. prince_will

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    lol..i didn't even give a chuckle. i'm still not sure i understand the humour in number 2.
     
  3. Not_Punny

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    LOL, some are ANCIENT!

    I got a chuckle out of #s 10 and 8 and 5. (I'm easily amused by word play):rolleyes:
     
  4. TwasBrillig

    TwasBrillig Member

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    We do have something in common. Love word games as well.
     
  5. Not_Punny

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    OMG! :biggrin1: And we're probably the only ones on LPSG who advertise it in our screen names!
     
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