Talking About OT Subjects During Foreplay

Nekoman

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My wife will bring up off-topic subjects during foreplay. For example, she will be stroking me, and bring up how she want to go to some wedding reception in the future. How she's looking forward to dancing at a party. And it's a good bit of a turn off.

I'd love to hear from others, women and men, as to whether they do this kind of thing in their relations, and whether they see it as an unwanted interruption.

Women, flame away if you must. I'm open to hearing your opinions on all sides of the issues.

Is it me? or is it her???
 

D_Anne_T_Freeze

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I agree with you, it's just not sexy. ~However maybe she feels like it's the only time she gets your full attention? I think you should tell her about it but also ask her if there's something you should stop or start doing during sex, just to even it up. I bet she comes up with something in the blink of an eye. Lol!
 

Kotchanski

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It isn't either of you, you're just different!

I've had partners who've done the same, and I've had partners who would be horrified if I did it.

Especially when you're married, you can become so comfortable with someone that you just say what you think, when you think of it. So if she happened to suddenly remember something, she may bring it up without even thinking of the appropriateness. Likewise, she may feel she has a captive audience so to speak, you wouldn't be the first man who needs to be pinned down to get any form of conversation out of him when it isn't something considered "important" (that isn't a complaint)

Have you spoken to her about it? She may not even be aware that she's doing it, and even less aware that it doesn't exactly help matters.
 

littledickboy111

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There was a girl back in college who was giving me a strip tease / strip dance in her dorm room... and there was paper and clothes on the floor right near a very old and unsafe looking space-heater. The papers and clothes kept getting closer to the fire-hazard and eventually I had to say something.

She was pissed.

But I lived.
 

RideRocket

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I would find it off-putting as well. Maybe ask her how she would feel if you're trying to have a conversation when either of you are performing oral sex? It would be like having a conversation while your dentist is working on your teeth.
 

D_Ginger_Vitas

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I don't think the topic is the problem really, but rather the tone and the way it is delivered. I mean, I've been in similar situations where either my partner or I talk about other things during foreplay--but I have always controlled the conversation so that it is more on the humorous/playful side. Its all about the way you talk, not what you say. But this only pertains to foreplay.
 

beretta216

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Yeah, that's something I've had issues with too. Sorry, last thing I wanna talk about while I'm licking that incredible tasting pussy or giving her the rail is about going shopping for dinner after we fuck. Leave it for later. Drives me nuts.
 

Nekoman

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Does it really bother us because we want them to be noticing our cocks above all else?

Is it because we are really children, about 5 yrs old inside, and we feel like 5 yr olds and think we're not getting enough attention?

Is it just because we're insecure and need to be told how great our cocks are?

We just want to be the center of attention when our cocks are out in the open and ready to go?
 

Exbiker

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We might talk about social plans, bills, holidays, things that need fixing, shopping etc. AFTER sex.

Before, I agree, is a bit questionable. At least.

But just BE the change you want to see. Change the subject to something more personal, romantic, intimate ... and keep doing that. The message will be received.
 

Nekoman

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Yeah, the message gets perceived in the moment, after a numbing, constriction on my part.

But then it could happen again anytime......

Nothing is perfect, I guess there will always be unwanted intrusions now and again.
 

B_mature54

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My wife will bring up off-topic subjects during foreplay. For example, she will be stroking me, and bring up how she want to go to some wedding reception in the future. How she's looking forward to dancing at a party. And it's a good bit of a turn off.

I'd love to hear from others, women and men, as to whether they do this kind of thing in their relations, and whether they see it as an unwanted interruption.

Women, flame away if you must. I'm open to hearing your opinions on all sides of the issues.

Is it me? or is it her???

Nothing will kill my hard on faster. If we are gonna make love then let's both keep it about sex.. I will talk to her about anything she wants to, before or after
 

HiddenLacey

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My opinion,

When it's good I don't notice things around me or think about other things, unless something horrible is going on in my life at the moment. If something bad is going on, hopefully it will be good enough to distract me. Of course I wouldn't talk about whatever I was thinking about, but I agree with some of the other women, maybe your wife is just different and she doesn't even notice that she's doing it.
 
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Pierced1953

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My gf will come in the bedroom, start kissing me, stroking me, rub her tits against me and ask if I thought about what she suggested earlier. She'll start sucking my cock and to be honest I don't give it one bit of thought until the next morning, just enjoy her sucking me.

If it was during love making it would bother me.
 

Mercurygirl

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Sometimes it happens but that's mostly his fault as I'll be trying to have a discussion about something unrelated to sex and he'll attempt to get in my pants. He usually ends up pouting, becomes disagreeable, because his 'magic hands' foreplay and raging boner aren't taking center stage. The male ego is easily bruised. I treat him like a king when we do have sex but it's fucking annoying when he starts rubbing up against me just to avoid an adult conversation on other matter.