Talking to Ex's who are still hung up

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by dirty1dirty2, Nov 19, 2007.

  1. dirty1dirty2

    dirty1dirty2 Member

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    Does anybody have any good ways to deal with an ex that just won't accept the facts? Seriously it was 5 months ago and she still thinks theres a shot despite the numerous relationship problems/baggage, families not liking each other, friends not liking each other and living in different cities. Anybody else been there or is this craziness unique?
     
  2. Jovial

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    Been there. You have to realize that you are a loss for your ex and she needs to go through the five stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance). Google the "five stages of grief" and find a website that talks about it in relation to relationships. I think understanding this will help you deal with your ex and understand what she's going through.

    Basically, everyone takes a different amount of time to go through this process. You probably recognize some of these stages in your ex's behavior.

    Whatever you do, don't get back together then break up again. Otherwise, your ex will be right back at stage one. Don't give her hope that you might get back together. It is difficult, but eventually she's get through the loss and move on. It could take another year though.

    Good luck
     
  3. D_Polyphebus Hammertoe

    D_Polyphebus Hammertoe Account Disabled

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    Coming from someone who is still totally hung up on their ex 2 years later (even though I've been dating someone else for over a year now), the best thing to do is keep a cordial distance. If you see them out and about be friendly, but to the point. You don't want her to get mixed signals... but at the same time ignoring her or being hurtful/cold can be just as bad. With enough time she'll move on and realize the relationship wasn't going to work, and she'll find somebody else. Even though it wasn't the relationship for you... you can still be flattered she has feelings for you after all this time. Must mean you are an alright guy. Is that such a bad thing? :smile:
     
  4. dirty1dirty2

    dirty1dirty2 Member

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    I've heard of those stages before, I just didn't think it would take this long to get to bargaining since it only took about a month for me to go through them all. You guys are definitely both right about not getting back with her or even hanging out. It's tempting to see her again but it has bad news written all over it. Ideally I'd be able to be friendly to her but not friends, it's just hard to say how long it'll take for her to move on..Hopefully not a year though as flattering as it is haha.. time to write her back, thanks for the help!
     
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