Talking too much.

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by kewlkid75, Oct 10, 2010.

  1. kewlkid75

    kewlkid75 Active Member

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2008
    Messages:
    474
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    200
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Tallahassee, Florida
    I don't know if this is the right section for this.

    I have been reading alot about BODY LANGUAGE. I noticed one thing it said that you have to slow down when talking and don't talk too much about nothing and don't think so much basically relax have an open mind and have a good time. I have confidence and I am going to put what I read to the test next time I go out. I do talk alot, so hopefully I can curb it some.

    I am a happy person and with this knowledge I am going to go and attract me someone.

    I figured I share my new found way of thinking.
    Any advice would be great appreciated. It will help me with better body language.
     
    #1 kewlkid75, Oct 10, 2010
    Last edited: Oct 10, 2010
  2. bigbull29

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2006
    Messages:
    5,729
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    2,385
    Gender:
    Male
    Yes, we can talk too much, as we can do anything "too much". We need times of silence where we just listen and be aware.:smile:
     
  3. kewlkid75

    kewlkid75 Active Member

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2008
    Messages:
    474
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    200
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Tallahassee, Florida
    I agree with you on that. Thanks for the advice.
     
  4. avg_joe

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2006
    Messages:
    3,284
    Likes Received:
    5
    Gender:
    Male
    Sometimes you need to speak out. If you don't, people will tramp on you.
     
  5. earllogjam

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2006
    Messages:
    5,027
    Likes Received:
    21
    I generally like to be with people who have something to say. If you have no opinions on anything or no interesting stories or observations I'd rather just listen to the radio.

    I don't mind people who talk to much at ALL. Just be your natural self and try to enjoy the conversation of the other people you are with. Don't be so self critical. Your talking skills can bridge those awkward gaps of silence in a gathering when you are with people who don't have anything to say.
     
  6. Bbucko

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2006
    Messages:
    7,413
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    58
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Sunny SoFla
    I think the key difference between being a brilliant conversationalist and a Chatty Kathy is the ability to listen to (and respond back in kind to) what others say. I've always been a better listener than talker, myself, though I say plenty when asked about something specific.

    When I worked in professional high-end sales, the most frequent criticism I got was that I gave the customer too much information on the product. I'll admit that sometimes I'd over-answer a question, but much more often I was correcting an erroneous assumption on the customer's part, providing information required to make an informed decision. I never appreciated presentations that were all verbiage with no actual knowledge to back it up.

    The one place I always presume to have someone's ear is when I'm writing: I'm verbose and run long. If the reader is disinterested, s/he can come back to it later or just put it down. Unlike a conversation, reading comes at the reader's sole discretion.
     
  7. SpeedoMike

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 19, 2007
    Messages:
    2,940
    Likes Received:
    5
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    San Francisco Bay Area
    talk to the person in such a way that you focus conversation on him/her... listen to what they have to say. please don't bombard him/her with a bunch of stuff about yourself.
     
  8. helgaleena

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2006
    Messages:
    5,663
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Wisconsin USA
    Please remember that even when you are silent, your body is telling quite a bit about you, whether you like it or not! It's not necessary to make words to communicate except to be polite. Knowing the right formulaic inanities for the situation is a social skill.

    I have always had a very easy to read face, and tended to not speak much in consequence. People I was with would simply look at me and continue talking as if I had said the words. This was a disadvantage when I married a real talker-- he would go on and on for hours, filling the air with the sound of his own voice in order to soothe himself. Sometimes I would grow weary of having to interrupt, and he began to resent my 'not holding my end up' with noises out of my mouth. He would not be noticing what my body language might be telling him, unlike others. It led to eventual estrangement.

    You can learn a lot from body language, but be sure to gravitate to people who have similar styles of communication as yourself, for the long term associations.
     
  9. DavidXL

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2009
    Messages:
    764
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    230
    Gender:
    Male
    Verified:
    Photo
    People who talk too much about themselves are really annoying and make me want to run away. People who get other people to talk about themselves are usually much more likeable.
     
  10. ActionBuddy

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2006
    Messages:
    6,997
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    6,384
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Seattle (WA, US)
    Shove a sock in it! Talking too much kills the moment.
     
  11. shr1125

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2007
    Messages:
    339
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    9
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    The land of kinky thoughts
    Verified:
    Photo
    Active listening is a skill that can be learned. In many situations (e.g. academic, business, interpersonal), it's better to actively listen rather than passively let the speaker dump information upon you. Listening actively really isn't anything more than being an engaging listener and asking relevant questions either in order to clarify a point or just to retrieve more information. At the very least, the body language of an active listener is more pronounced than one of a passive listener. An active listener looks the speaker in the eye and leans in to the speaker while a passive listener does none of these things.

    In interpersonal relationship, I'm a better listener than I am a speaker. I can be just as engaging asking the questions of whomever I'm speaking with rather than being the center of attention. When I want to make someone feel special, I let them talk and I try to keep the topic on them (or something of their choosing) rather than wrest the conversation away.

    That said, I can talk a mile a fucking minute about anything and everything if given the chance!
     
Draft saved Draft deleted