Teach me how to turn someone down politely but effectively??

[MickeyLee]

When I can't throat punch a fucker? Body language works wonders for me. I cross my arms, shift so most of my body is facing away from the asshole, only make eye contact with the dreaded side-eyes. All responses are short one word replies. Every part of me and everything I say is dismissive and gives the impression that his attention is unwanted.

Mostly I naturally carry myself in a 'men, do not casually approach' way. The boy is also helpful cuz he is a giant. A gentle giant, but very physically intimidating if you don't know him. Those that know him wouldn't approach me with anything less than respect. Win win.

Sadly, when dealing with the entitled and intoxicated polite isn't always an option. You have to get a bit rude.

 

[Chrysippus]

Just smile, reach out and punch his nutsack, then slap his face as he lurches forward. In Oregon, this is considered to be polite.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

were you by chance opposite sides in the bridal party? that can mess with peoples heads

Why would that mess with anyone's head? Simply standing opposite to someone in a ceremony of some sort doesn't imply interest/reciprocated attraction unless your the actual bride and groom, right?

 

[palakaorion]

I am pathologically oblivious, but even I can tell when someone isn't interested in continuing a conversation. I can only surmise that those who don't respond to your clear signals by disengaging, simply don't care whether or not you want them to.

 

[rtg]

I can't help much sorry! It's a very rare occasion that I'll get a guy come up to me and hit on me. Usually I make it pretty obvious as I act sooo uninterested, pretty much to the point of being awkward. Most guys don't want to hang around in that situation. If they don't get the point then I'll say I have a boyfriend (a white lie can't hurt in that instance). If they still don't get it I'll just say curtly that I'm not interested and ask to be left alone. Or if I'm too chicken and if I'm somewhere where I can leave (a bit different than a wedding situation) I'll just excuse myself and bail.

 

[sizehungry]

I was truly fortunate , in that my late father , while telling me " that a faint heart never wins a fair lady " , also made it very clear , that " no means no " . He also stressed that having someone in one's life was a privilege , rather than a right . Rejection can , and often does hurt , and is the main reason that i rarely approach women " off the cuff " so to speak . Of course , if one does not ask , one will never know , and i have lost count of the women , who , after getting to know them on platonic level later on , have said to me " you should have asked " . The stringent reinforcement re ; respect for women ,on the part of my father , has , i feel , served me well , in that I truly believe that it's not about the number of women one gets to " fuck " ( excuse me please ) , but rather , it's more about the quality of love , and decency that you have for the women you are fortunate to have in your life . No one likes to be looked at like a piece of meat . If some oaf doesn't grasp that you are not interested the first time , then , to my feeble mind , any means necessary to get him off your case , is appropriate . Don't get me wrong , I love " being with " women , but it is not a " right " , and , as in all human dealings with each other , good manners should apply .

 

[deleted871301]

Just tell him that while you are flattered by the attention, your course of prescribed penicillin tablets has not kicked in yet! Now watch him run... Lol...!!!

 

[MickeyLee]

Start talking about how your baby-daddy, how he can give you herpes but can't manage to give you a child support check?

 

[sizehungry]

Just a clarification regarding my last post on this subject . I fear that i may have given the impression that i adhered to my fathers " teachings " , throughout my life . This is not so . Many times , i either forgot , or simply ignored his advice , and paid the price accordingly . Tragedy of that is , that she ,( and sometimes her children ) , also " paid the price " .. It is only in the last 15>20 yrs that i have actually , diligently , applied the teachings of my youth , to day to day life . Wish i had " wised up " earlier , but it is what it is . Sorry for any confusion .

 

[sangheili90]

I see many men take this approach to dating, both online and out in public. They'll hit on a hundred women and if just one of the hundred responds positively they consider their methods a success
Meanwhile they've managed to harass and alienate 99 women

You realize if a man doesn't "harass" women by never approaching them his chances of ever getting a girlfriend are very low.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

You realize if a man doesn't "harass" women by never approaching them his chances of ever getting a girlfriend are very low.

The moment the person dude is approaching turns them DOWN, and fucker can't get over it and respectfully leave them alone then yes. It's harassment, and it's bullshit. Of dude ends up single, it's just something he needs to accept.

No one has the right to partnership.

 

[sangheili90]

Man, reading some of the posts on here is scary as fuck. A bunch of "men" who think there is something wrong with other guys approaching women, I'd genuinely be surprised if any of you have ever had the courage to even do that....wtf. This makes sense though, you guys are unattractive losers that no decent quality woman would consider so naturally you make fun of guys who actually are putting in the effort. You guys just kiss the asses of these females on here in the hopes of getting vagina off of the internet because you'd never be able to in real life.

@nailz You were in a situation and environment that allowed for this guy to be very persistent like that. Also, you need to consider that this was at a party, where he was also drinking, and probably in a party mood that was a bit care free, uninhibited and he found you attractive. While it may be an annoying thing to deal with, at the end of the day nothing bad came of it and it really isn't something that you deal with all that often where it would call for being addressed. Don't take the advice of trash like swoon and a few others on here who legitimately hate men, by acting like a total bitch to a dude approaching you could lead to the possibility of missing out on a great guy. Granted, the manner of which he approaches you plays a part in how you respond to him. Most guys mean well and approach in a respectable way, but the ones that do so in an opposite fashion are the one's that are memorable and play a key role in how a woman responds to men who approach her.

On a personal note, I've met several different women over the past several months that go to my gym and they all involved me cold approaching them, meaning we were total strangers and I had no reason to talk to them other than out of interest. I'd wait until they were in between sets before I approached. I'd tell them I didn't want to interrupt their workout but wanted to talk to them, then asked them what their names were and went from there. The conversations would last a few minutes and then I'd let them go back to what they were doing. I'd talk to them a few more times when I'd run into them before asking them out. If someone else said that was harassment or tried making fun of me for doing that I'd laugh, seriously.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

@sangheili90 ... Shut the fuck up or go eat shit.

No one here gives a fuck what you have to say.

It's stupid enough guys like you can't take NO for an answer without getting hateful and angry at those who decide you're not worthy of their time... Now you make excuses for the bullshit to act justified. Fuck off asshole.

 

[TexanStar]

Man, reading some of the posts on here is scary as fuck. A bunch of "men" who think there is something wrong with other guys approaching women, I'd genuinely be surprised if any of you have ever had the courage to even do that....wtf. This makes sense though, you guys are unattractive losers that no decent quality woman would consider so naturally you make fun of guys who actually are putting in the effort. You guys just kiss the asses of these females on here in the hopes of getting vagina off of the internet because you'd never be able to in real life.

@nailz You were in a situation and environment that allowed for this guy to be very persistent like that. Also, you need to consider that this was at a party, where he was also drinking, and probably in a party mood that was a bit care free, uninhibited and he found you attractive. While it may be an annoying thing to deal with, at the end of the day nothing bad came of it and it really isn't something that you deal with all that often where it would call for being addressed. Don't take the advice of trash like swoon and a few others on here who legitimately hate men, by acting like a total bitch to a dude approaching you could lead to the possibility of missing out on a great guy. Granted, the manner of which he approaches you plays a part in how you respond to him. Most guys mean well and approach in a respectable way, but the ones that do so in an opposite fashion are the one's that are memorable and play a key role in how a woman responds to men who approach her.

On a personal note, I've met several different women over the past several months that go to my gym and they all involved me cold approaching them, meaning we were total strangers and I had no reason to talk to them other than out of interest. I'd wait until they were in between sets before I approached. I'd tell them I didn't want to interrupt their workout but wanted to talk to them, then asked them what their names were and went from there. The conversations would last a few minutes and then I'd let them go back to what they were doing. I'd talk to them a few more times when I'd run into them before asking them out. If someone else said that was harassment or tried making fun of me for doing that I'd laugh, seriously.

More dating advice from Mr unlucky in love

Haven't heard from you in a while. Got any more stories for us about your escapades chasing young women just out of high school who already have boyfriends?

 

[deleted924715]

If gobshite is posting in Women's Issues, he's being coached by his fellow blue-balled snowflakes because he has zero balls to come in here of his own accord. It's bait. They think we're stupid. Don't say anything that would bring the ban-hammer down cool peeps <3

(and I'm not going to peek at what he said because I won't be able to help myself )

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

If gobshite is posting in Women's Issues, he's being coached by his fellow blue-balled snowflakes because he has zero balls to come in here of his own accord. It's bait. They think we're stupid. Don't say anything that would bring the ban-hammer down cool peeps <3

(and I'm not going to peek at what he said because I won't be able to help myself )

I'm 99% positive he won't see my post anyway. He never responds to me. I'm thinking I'm on his ignore list.

I still gotta call bullshit when I see it. And, he already made it personal by attacking @swoon for no reason whatsoever. If anyone should get slapped by the mods, it's him.

I hope she reports that. That's the rule right? The person being harassed had to report the incident?

 

[TexanStar]

I'm 99% positive he won't see my post anyway. He never responds to me. I'm thinking I'm on his ignore list.

I still gotta call bullshit when I see it. And, he already made it personal by attacking @swoon for no reason whatsoever. If anyone should get slapped by the mods, it's him.

I hope she reports that. That's the rule right? The person being harassed had to report the incident?

I believe there is an accusation in there somewhere that I might like vagina.

I'll try not to cry myself to sleep over that one

 

[deleted924715]

I'm 99% positive he won't see my post anyway. He never responds to me. I'm thinking I'm on his ignore list.

I still gotta call bullshit when I see it. And, he already made it personal by attacking @swoon for no reason whatsoever. If anyone should get slapped by the mods, it's him.

I hope she reports that. That's the rule right? The person being harassed had to report the incident?

I believe so, yeah. Dude is obsessed with her

Nothin' wrong with callin' it - I know you're too smart to let him provoke you into something against the rules

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

I believe so, yeah. Dude is obsessed with her

Nothin' wrong with callin' it - I know you're too smart to let him provoke you into something against the rules

Aww shucks

I did get a lil potty-mouthed... But fuck it. Or maybe, butt-fuck it!

 

[deleted924715]

Aww shucks

I did get a lil potty-mouthed... But fuck it. Or maybe, butt-fuck it!

Ha! I'm the LAST person to throw shade for not being demure