In my experience, I can assure you there are techniques which can be practiced by men to fully control not only when we come, but how. In my late teenaged years I came accross this book that bescribed some methods derived from taoist practice and became very serious about learning them. I was still a virgin at the time and I really thought mastering these techniques would get rid of the shyness that had been holding me back, or so I thought...
Anyway, I'm very glad I took the time to nail this down at the time and it has served me and my lovers quite well ever since.
In a nutshell, the man must learn how to distinguish orgasm from ejaculation. Orgasm is the series of pleasurable contractions which generally accompany ejaculation. Contrary to what most men I have had this discussion with think, these two things constitute two seperate and divisible occurences. Once a man is able to isolate the very pleasurable contractions which he feels just prior to ejaculation, he can harness and control them by sqeazing the muscle situated right between his scrotum and his anus (can't remember the exact medical name for it). This will provoke one of two things: A) a ''reverse'' ejaculation (the semen is propulsed backward into the bladder, strange but not dangerous), very frequent in the first stages of practice or B) an effective barier against the actual ejaculation and the almost invariable loss or substantial reduction of erection.
When B) is acheived, the man has had his usual involontary orgasmic contractions but he effectively accompanied them with a very volontary and controled contraction of the muscle I talked about earlier on. In this case there is no ejaculetion but the man nevertheless experiences all the pleasure and satisfaction associated with having had the orgasm without however loosing his erection or sexual energy. Basically he becomes multy orgasmic. This is the greatest part of it all. You come to the point where you have full control over the the length of your sexual encounter and the exact moment you decide to ejaculate, if at all.
I guess this is a bit differnt from what your BF practices, but I'm sure there are similarities in the mecanics of it all LOL!:wink: