Tell A Celebrity To "FUCK OFF!"

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff: Jokes, Quizzes, Games & Pics' started by willow78, Feb 1, 2011.

  1. willow78

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    I'm not into 'Celebrity Gossip' so I get really pissed off when news programs/services report celebrity tittle-tattle as though it's a serious news issue. I'm sick of sitting down to watch the news only to see the TMZ or Perez Hilton watermarks in a story. I imagine I'm not alone in my pissed-off-ness so this thread is your chance to tell a celebrity, a celebrity story, or the news outlets that feel the need to report about them - to fuck off...

    I'll start:

    *Orlando Bloom/Miranda Kerr - you had a baby. Big fucking deal...
    *Keith Urban/Nicole Kidman - you got someone else to have your baby, I'll get someone else to give my damn...
    *Macauly Culkin and prostitute - really? We're still calling him a celebrity?
    *Ricky Martin comes out - 10 years after we stopped caring about him...
    *Paris Hilton - came to Australia for a New Year's Eve party. Someone felt that was worthy of reporting in a news bulletin!

    and finally...

    *Tiger Woods - the crash was news-worthy but the 5-month 'skank-parade' afterwards was over-the-top. Your self-serving pity-party of a press conference was nauseating. Why are you apologising to me? It's between you and your wife.

    FUCK OFF!
     
  2. D_Rosalind Mussell

    D_Rosalind Mussell New Member

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    *Kim Kardashian-You sucked off Ray J in one of the worst "leaked" sex tapes in history, and you are upset at how much skin is showed in magazine photos you voluntarily took? Fuck off, you're an attention whore and we all know it. Now take your family and crawl back under the pile of cash your dad left you.
     
  3. ManofThunder

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    Oooh! Meow!! I agree completely though haha. :cool:
     
  4. D_Rosalind Mussell

    D_Rosalind Mussell New Member

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    The Kardashians irritate me so badly...for my next annoyance, I will be telling off the Real-Housewives-That-Aren't-Real-Housewives.
     
  5. ManofThunder

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    Haha, the list goes on and on! When I think about it, almost all celebrities annoy me to some extent. Modern ones at least. Whatever happened to the Michael Caine and Cary Grant type celebrities?
     
  6. Oliver_Clothesoff

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    Alas, I think they're become an extinct species.

    To the entire cast of Jersey Shore: Get the hell out of my face and get real jobs. The "Sensation" wrote a book? Yeah, when was the last time he read one? When they put Snookie in the ball on New Year's Eve they should have either kept it up there till next year or dropped it without a cable attached. Who in the name of all that's good and decent watches that show? I tried it once and couldn't last five minutes. And now I hear they're going to Italy. I hope it's a one way ticket.
     
  7. D_Rosalind Mussell

    D_Rosalind Mussell New Member

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    I agree wholeheartedly. For me, it really depends on who it is and what they are doing. People who aren't out in the public eye a lot and just try to live a normal life are fine. Those who attend night clubs in short skirts and no panties, knowing TMZ will be there to grab crotch shots *coughLindsayLohanParisHiltoncough* annoy the living daylights out of me. Hollywood in general irritates the daylights out of me, that's why I love Aenima by Tool...Maynard James Keenan emotes it all so well:

    Video

    Lyrics
     
  8. MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK

    MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK Well-Known Member

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    the pain behind your eyes
    OK, while I've got it fresh in my mind here goes;
    Starting with-
    Jersey shorecast members to include Snooki and that lowlife thug, Ron "Ronnie" Ortiz Magro-These two IDIOTS are making New Jersey turn blind eyes to their bullshit. I mean, the short fat, dumpy one gets loaded and makes herself a damn fool in public and get photographed, then the muscle bound MORON clobbers and knocks out some loudmouth, who WAS instigating, but he got arrested for felony assault.

    Tiffany,"New York" Pollard from Flavor of Love 1-2 I love New york, I love New York 1-2, New York goes to Hollywood, and New York goes to work.
    I'm sorry, but there's something about a conniving, screeching BITCH like this chick, who has self proclaimed herself, HBIC(Head Bitch In Charge) that's too annoying for words.

    Courtney Love- Yecch.:sick: The coked out, FLAKED OUT, loser widow of Kurt Cobain and failed actress, she never disappoints in making an ASS of herself.
    YouTube - Madonna -MTV Video Music Awards Interview interrupted by Courtney Love September 1995
     
  9. ManofThunder

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    I fear you may be correct! The sad thing is that people genuinely look up to people like the 'Jersey Shore' cast. What must go through the minds of these people? "Yes, I think I will go out today wearing little or no clothing, too much make-up and babble the occasional swear word incoherently as I recover from my drunken, sex and drug-addled stupor." Sounds like a plan for the future to me! The fact that I have never seen or even shown any interest in that show, yet still know about it annoys me.

    Once again, you have hit the nail on the head with that song! There are still some who can keep themselves to themselves. There are however those who pretend to be 'humble' and desire a quiet life but then feel perfectly happy to pose naked etc and wonder why they receive attention. Those are the people who make me want to tear my hair out.
     
  10. D_Sheila Bootieshaker

    D_Sheila Bootieshaker Account Disabled

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    LOL, I love love loveee this thread Kudos to you Willow78 :wink:

    NOW, Jersey Shore cast really? REALLYYYY, come on they are all giving Jersey is real bad rap, like WTF when I go out I dont F-ing fist pump wtf is that?!!!!... Situation wrote a broke, umm yea umm so ummm uhh so HE cant even say a single fucking sentence without saying uhh ummm like wtf learn how to speak proper english, who the hell wants to read a book that probably all it will have in it is Uhhhh ummmm yeaa So ummm.... Sammy needs years n years of theraphy shes screwed in the head, Jwoww NEXT... I cant my stomachs upset now... FUCK OFF Jersey Shore...

    FUCK OFF. JERSEYLICIOUS like really!!!!!! they are all wanna be's starting with that idiot FAIRY GODMOTHER WAnNA BE whats even her name?!! Dont know dont care..
     
  11. AG08

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    One local newscaster here quipped that he should "be able to read one (book) before he can write one!" :biggrin1: I've never watched the show because the ads alone turned me off of ever watching. Just more white trash who call themselves celebrities for behaving badly. What has our society come to that they were ever given the time of day let alone a TV show in the first place? :confused:
     
  12. AG08

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    Justin Bieber - UGH! Can't sing worth a shit, and he's all I ever hear about on the news. I couldn't help but laugh when he held a press conference about his new movie that shows how he "struggled" to get to the top. STRUGGLED?!?! Is this punk shitting me? :mad: He's 16 and worth hundreds of millions of dollars. How long did he supposedly "struggle" for, 1-2 years? His definition of struggling and mine are completely different! He's encouraging his haters (of which I'm one) to see his movie to see how difficult his life has been. :rolleyes: His lame attempts to earn respect and credibility just piss me off and make me detest him even more! I look forward to his eventual downfall. When the tween girls tire of him, he will crash and burn because he has no real talent.
     
  13. Oliver_Clothesoff

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    Exactly. I feel the same way.

    Oh, man! I wanted to do a Justin Bieber rant. The kid has an autobiographical movie?? His entire autobiography would be about as thick as Mad Magazine (and as inspiring, too).

    Personally, I think people shouldn't be allowed to be millionaire celebrities until they're 21. Kids are too young to handle it. For proof I offer Lindsay Lohan, Brittney Spears, Miley Cyrus, the Olsen Twins, the entire juvenile cast of Different Strokes, Danny Bonaduce (yeah, I'm old enough to remember him), and about a gazillion others.
     
  14. Oliver_Clothesoff

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    Ok, forgive me but I must add another rant. It really pisses me off whenever I hear about some famous person writing a children's book. I'm sure some are fairly good and I do like a few of the authors (Jay Leno, Jamie Lee Curtis) but I also know how hard it is for an average Joe Author to get an agent to even look at something let alone get it published. Then someone with a famous last name scratches out a story, hires any illustrator they want, and the next thing you know it's on the shelves of your local bookstore. Why? Because the author is Madonna. Yeah, well write your damn book and send it off under your real name, not your made-up celebrity name and see how much luck you have getting it published. When you can paper your wall with rejection slips from agents and/or publishers before you get your book published then you can consider yourself an author. Until then you're no different than some pop star who lands a movie roll because they're famous for their singing.

    Now you've done it, willow78. I'll probably keep this thread active for a month bitching about stuff.
     
  15. willow78

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    Adam Lambert - being flamboyant and using auto-tune does NOT equal talent!

    I'm so tired of pop-stars using homosexuality as a gimmick. Every awards show performance nowadays seems to involve a singer dry-humping or 'faking' out (fake making out) with a back-up dancer of the same gender. Y-A-W-N!

    "Wow, Miley Cyrus! You just kissed a girl - that's so outrageous! You're so wild and crazy!"

    It's not and she isn't...

    ...and the same applies to you Katy Perry.

    ...and speaking of Katy Perry...Russell Brand - fuck right off! There is something about you that makes my skin crawl - I find you incredibly slimy. And most of all - you're not that funny.
     
    #15 willow78, Feb 3, 2011
    Last edited: Feb 3, 2011
  16. Hoss

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    any dumbass "celebrity" that hawks products. Katie Perry & Julianne Hough selling Proactive, Jennifer Hudson, Valerie Bertinelli, Marie Osmond with the weght loss products.

    Anything said by the bitch brigade Oprah Winfrey, the hags from The View and the new ones in The Talk. Leah Remini even more irritating than she was in King of Queens.

    All the wastes and washed ups that appear on Dancing With Stars, last mnute fame and then the a.m. talk show circuit the day after being kicked off.

    Guy Fieri from Food Network and Minute To Win It show.

    Aaron (that's A-Rone) Sanchez every fucking thing he uses the word "Succulent"


    All the washed ups that are in reality shows grasping a last second of fame.


    Meredith Baxter, Beau Bridges and the Consumer Celluular stars

    AlanThicke and Wilfred Brimley selling diabetic supplies

    Patrick Duffy selling Miracle Ear. Hey fuck head, if there's a hearing loss they mght need to see a Dr.

    Drew Carey, hey box head, you were funny for 30 miinutes 15 yrs. ago.

    It's early, I may add a few later.
     
  17. EmJay

    EmJay New Member

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    Tyra Banks...I'm so over you Tyra..not one 'Topmodel' has made it BIG..your show is a haux..and your persona is getting faker and faker.. OVER IT!
     
  18. HappyBoi

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    No "FUCK OFFs" for me, I wouldn't really say that to someone I know and dislike, even less so to someone who's famous for something, or appears in the news - who I certainly don't know or see their true self, only what the news or their tv-programs portray. :smile:


    Haha, I just watched "Gustav 2" (you know the cartoon-cat who loves lasagna? :tongue:) and they made a reference to Cary Grant, I have no idea who that is though.. :p
     
  19. AG08

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    :haha: Good one! I caught about 5 seconds of his interview on TV before having to change the channel (or put my foot through the TV). He wanted to remind people how HE says "never say never". What an arrogant douche. Like he coined that phrase. :rolleyes: That expression has been long around long before he was even an itch in his daddy's pants. For the sake of real music lovers everywhere, I wish his father had blown his load into a tissue instead! :wink:
     
  20. NumberTwentySix

    NumberTwentySix New Member

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    Jason Derulo can fuck off. He actually has the chutzpa.....(deep breaths 26)..:mad: No! Derulo has the unmitigated fucking gall to acknowledge that while it's true his music sounds exactly the same as all the rest of the autotuned shit on the radio these days, we shouldn't worry, because he has a solution: He simply croons "Jaaaayyysooooooon D'Ruuuuuulooo" into his crappy synth program before every fucking track. That way, you see, we know it's him being autotuned to sound exactly like everyone else.

    I guess since he isn't clever or talented enough to make original sounding music, I shouldn't be surprised he feels the need to remind us and himself of his name every half hour.

    Get off my radio you tasteless, gaudy, low rent fool.

    http://static.unrealitytv.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/jason-derulo-449-1.jpg
    Hi, my name is Jason Derulo and I have a punchable face.

    Edit: Since he is still a minor, I bear Justin Bieber(sp?) no ill will. His parents should be publicly flogged.
     
    #20 NumberTwentySix, Feb 3, 2011
    Last edited: Feb 3, 2011
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