Tell him he's handsome?

[BIGdkluver]

If I think another man is handsome, is it "all right" for me to tell him so, or might he consider that queer or gay on my part?

I have a thing about handsome me. I like them!! That's how the phrase "eye candy" came about (eye candy = handsome face, great body, nice to look at, etc.).

Where I work, there are many handsome men--all kinds, too: str8, gay, bi, and of different nationalities. If I see one, I love to look at him (without staring, of course). I also feel the urge to let him know that he's goodlooking and is fortunate to be so handsome.

If he's even a slight acquaintance of mine, I feel the urge to tell him that I consider him to be very goodlooking. I hope he would take it as a compliment; I know I would. Even though I am very gay, I'm still in the closet and trying to "pass" as str8, esp. at work. So I make sure to tell the guy in a very masculine, "str8" way that he's gooodlooking. And I don't dwell on it--I say it in a brief, matter-of-fact way.

So, how do you think most men (of any sexual orientiation) would take that? Should I continue complimenting handsome men in this way?
How do YOU react if another man tells you that you're very goodlooking?

I appreciate your advice. Thanks! :smile:

 

[B_Nick4444]

not a good idea

 

[D_Chaumbrelayne_Copprehead]

If he's even a slight acquaintance of mine, I feel the urge to tell him that I consider him to be very goodlooking. I hope he would take it as a compliment; I know I would.

Just me thinking out loud: if you're still closeted, you telling another guy he's good looking is very likely to be perceived as gay (or at the least, bi).

More importantly, perhaps, there are laws about keeping sexual harassment out of the workplace. I've heard of extreme examples where someone has been reprimanded for saying something like that to a co-worker ... because a supervisor has felt like they could not take the risk of anyone feeling in any way pressured in a sexual way.

Just in terms of workplace behavior, saying something like that is a real crapshoot 'cause you have no control over what your recipient is likely to do.

 

[Xcuze]

Somethings do not need to be actually spoken. For u to just come out & say it would be inappropriate. If u were having a conversation & the issue of looks came up THEN u may be able to slip it into the chat. But only do it in a subtle or jokey way. Sure, everyone likes a compliment. But if a guy thinks youre coming onto him or even just fancy him it could make him uncomfortable. They may then avoid being around you.

IMO str8 guys only really value such compliments from women.

Just admire from afar. Unless they give you the come on.

 

[killerb]

if you go around telling guys they're handsome, you will definitely give yourself away...

personally, anytime a guy has made a comment about my appearance, I've found out later that he was interested...

 

[nudeyorker]

Well...first of all I would say that everyone loves to hear a compliment. However you have to learn the art of knowing peoples comfort level. If you were to slide up behind one of your straight friends in the mens room and whisper in his ear you think he is handsome, it won't have the same effect that it would if you are in a social situation, say with his girlfriend and you said something to the effect of" You are a beautiful girl and_______ is a handsome man you really make a wonderful couple." Everyone feels good and you have not crossed the comfort level that might make him feel uncomfortable.
Part of this is learning how to flirt with men and woman without sexual overtones.

 

[D_Roland_D_Hay]

I agree with Nudeyorker...it all depends on the delivery and timing. Its one thing to come right out and tell someone you think he's handsome and another to casually throw it in...

 

[Primal_Savage]

I'm in agreement with Nick4444 and Xcuse and would never do it.

 

[yhtang]

Well...first of all I would say that everyone loves to hear a compliment. However you have to learn the art of knowing peoples comfort level. If you were to slide up behind one of your straight friends in the mens room and whisper in his ear you think he is handsome, it won't have the same effect that it would if you are in a social situation, say with his girlfriend and you said something to the effect of" You are a beautiful girl and_______ is a handsome man you really make a wonderful couple." Everyone feels good and you have not crossed the comfort level that might make him feel uncomfortable.
Part of this is learning how to flirt with men and woman without sexual overtones.

I think this will work. It is the proper time and place that pulls it off.

 

[Principessa]

If I think another man is handsome, is it "all right" for me to tell him so, or might he consider that queer or gay on my part?

Doubt Means Don't! The fact you are asking the question means you already know you are wrong. You are just hoping someone will say your behavior is okay so that you will feel vindicated. And yes, that's 'gay/queer' behavior. Straight men don't go around telling each other how handsome they are. :duh:

Where I work, there are many handsome men--all kinds, too: str8, gay, bi, and of different nationalities. If I see one, I love to look at him (without staring, of course). I also feel the urge to let him know that he's goodlooking and is fortunate to be so handsome.

Why? That's just weird dude.

If he's even a slight acquaintance of mine, I feel the urge to tell him that I consider him to be very goodlooking. I hope he would take it as a compliment; I know I would. Even though I am very gay, I'm still in the closet and trying to "pass" as str8, esp. at work. So I make sure to tell the guy in a very masculine, "str8" way that he's gooodlooking. And I don't dwell on it--I say it in a brief, matter-of-fact way.

Yeah, you need to stop that, especially at work.

So, how do you think most men (of any sexual orientiation) would take that? Should I continue complimenting handsome men in this way?

HELL NO! I'm sorry, are you not familiar with the term gay bashing? Cause one of these days you are going to tell the wrong man he's handsome and he's gonna beat the shit out of you. :frown1:

 

[vince]

Not a good idea man. Just keep it online. Most guys here don't mind those kind of compliments.

 

[plumbr]

I guess you have to keep it to yourself unless you're close with the guy. Some straight men are so homophobic that they'll do things like kick the living daylights out of another person just because of a compliment. Caveat!

 

[jeff black]

Somethings do not need to be actually spoken. For u to just come out & say it would be inappropriate. If u were having a conversation & the issue of looks came up THEN u may be able to slip it into the chat. But only do it in a subtle or jokey way. Sure, everyone likes a compliment. But if a guy thinks youre coming onto him or even just fancy him it could make him uncomfortable. They may then avoid being around you.

IMO str8 guys only really value such compliments from women.

Just admire from afar. Unless they give you the come on.

I'm going to second this, because it's actually good advice. Admiring from afar is far safer.